Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir
by Obi wan Kanoli
Summary: What if Aragorn had met a pirate in past years as a ranger? What if he had called on her to help in the war of the Ring? Tenth walker. POTCXLOTR Sequel Now up, The Dead Man's What?
1. Chapter 1

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir

**Authoer's Note**: I hope you enjoy this, I wrote this on a whim...so let me know what you think!

Chapter 1: The Meeting.

Aragorn's POV

Pirates were running everywhere, ravaging, looting, pilaging, and all I could do was watch. I was helpless. The were slowly destroying this town that I had held dear for the past ten years, and I was paralyzed. Of what, I do not know. Frantically I turned and run out into the courtyard to sound the alarm, hoping the Dunadan posted up out side of the city would hear and come.

"Just where do you think you're going kid?" I swiflty turned around pulling my sword out of it's sheath, only to have it quickly knocked out of my hand by the pirate standing in front of me. She was an elfmaiden, she had long dark hair hanging freely around her face, her eyes were a dark forest green, her skin was dark but still looked smooth as silk, and she wore clothing that no pirate should have been able to afford to buy. " I hope you weren't thinking of calling in the soldiers were you? That would only be more lives lost, just for your carelessness. Now, what should I do with a petty little thing such as yourself?" she asked while walking slowly aroud me. "You're the captain aren't you?" I asked hoping to delay my impending death. "Why yes I am...how could you tell? Was it my clothing, or my dashing good looks?" she asked smirking while leaning very close into my face. "I saw you directing orders earlier, and you were either a first mate or captain, and yes the clothing helped." I answered, I could feel the sweat dripping down my brow. She must have noticed because she started to chuckle and stepped back.

"Don't fret boy, I'm not going to kill you, you have elvish blood in you, I can tell. I do not kill my kindred, no matter how distant. Now I have two questions for you, what is your name young sire, and are you of the Dunadans?"she asked while tapping a delicate finger on her chin.

I wondered whether I should tell her the truth or not. All my mentors had told me not to trust strangers I did not know, especailly pirates of any race. But something told me that I should trust her, that I could hold her to her word, and that she wouldn't not betray it.

"I am Aragorn, son of Arathron, and yes m'lady, I am-"

"Now, now, none of that m'lady stuff, please call me Esmeralda, or Esme, whichever you chose."

"As you wish,but yes you are correct I am of the Dunadans, why do you ask?"

I peered at her closely trying to see what she was feeling, but she held her expression blank like that of of empty parchment. "No reason, I was just wondering when I would meet one of you in this town, they're usually posted up just about everywhere and you were the first I saw. Were you the only one here?" she asked still drumming her finger on her chin.

"No m'l- Esmeralda, I was part of a quite a large group. It is strange to hear that I was the only one you have met so far. Are you sure your commrades have not seen any?" It was indeed strange, Halbarad told me to keep watch in the city while he and the others camped around the outskirts. For the pirates not to have met any was quite disturning.

"Hmm...maybe they were pulled away to some other danger? All the same you are here now. And that is all. Tell me, why are you gaurding this town?" she asked looking intensly at me, "Is there some treasure worth imense value here that you do not want to go missing?" At this comment her gaze lit up almost to that up an ecstatic grin.

"No Esmeralda, we are on watch for the likes of you."

"Oh, thats hurts you know, we aren't that bad, really, I assure you." she said laughing at the mere thought of that.

"Oh yes, I can tell by how peacefully you came into the town like this." I said pointing ot all the distruction they had caused. Buildings were burning, people were running around, horses were lose and children were lost from their parents.

"Oh poo, this can be fixed in no time." she said flicking her wrists as if it were nothing. Well to her, it probably wasn't that catastrophic.

"Captain Esmeralda, we are awaiting your orders to return to the ship." shouted a pirate while running towards us.

"Very well Bartholemew, tell those bastards they may return aboard, WE FEAST TONIGHT!" she yelled while smiling, she turned towards me, " This is my first mate Bartolemew. Would you like to join us sir Aragorn? I'm sure you have never had the honour of enjoying a pirate's celebration?"

"Aye sir, it is quite a riot." replied the fellow Bartholemew.

"Well I don't know. I suppose I should find my comrades first." I replied looking around the town once more.

"Oh come, Aragorn! That can wait til the morning can it not? Why miss such an oppurtunity? I doubt you will recieve another fine offer such as this." she said slowly walking towards me.

"That is true young sire, especially one of Captain Esmeralda's feast, they're one of a kind." said Bartolemew excitidley, all the while watching Esmeralda to see how she would respond to his compliments. Yet she paid him no heed she only watched my expression.

"So what say you? Will you join us or not? For I must return to my ship before the ship rats tear it apart."

"I suposss I will join you."

"AHA! You have made a fine descision indeed!" She laughed and grabbed my arm dragging me towards her ship. "Welcome to me ship, the Daerochon." she smiled fondly up towards her ship, as we slowly ascended up the lader they threw down. The Shadow rider. It fit the ship in everyway. The wood used to build it was a dark almost black color, the sails were a deep maron color. And all the crew were wearing all black tunics, leggings, and boots. There was crew members everywhere. How can this elleth control all these ellon? There is no way? Surely she must not be the captain of this ship? How is it possible?

" _Dina, lle ear nyani_." (Be quiet you sea rats) she yelled to her crew members when we reached the top of the ship. Every ellon on the ship stopped moving and turned to face her, respect written on all their faces. They all loved her, I could tell by the way they regarded her as she walked towards the front of the ship. "_Lle desiel a'herio i'gala?"_ (Are you ready to begin the celebration?)she asked grinning at all those that surrounded her. A loud chorus of "_UMA!_" (YES!) and "Ayes!' were heard all around. She laughed out loud, a beautiful sound almost like that of the ocean's waves breaking on the shores, before replying, "_San' ikotane no ta!!_" (Then so be it!) She thrust her arms into the air as the crew errupted in a loud unanimous cheer.

All during the party pirates were dancing, drinking, eating and having an amazing time. I sat in the corner wathcing all the festivites, not taking any part in them. Now I could understand why Bartholemew said no one could match a celebration held by Esmeralda, it was over the top, with food and wine for more than all of Middle Earth. And the games and music were nonstop, around the clock. I only caught a glimpse of Esmeralda every so often as she waltzed around the ship with different ellon. I believe it is time for me to go, so now I just need to sneak off this ship without letting her now, or any elves catching me for that matter. I walked slowly towards the side of the ship took one look down, checked to make sure the coast was clear and turned to jump into the ocean.

"I hope you aren't trying to leave before I've had a dance with you sir Aragorn?" I could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Of course not, I was mearly checking to see how beautiful the ocean looked tonight." There was that laugh again. I turned around to see that she was now dressed in a dark red dress that reached the floor. The sleeves covered her hands, which were posted on her hips, and the neckline of the dress swooped down just low enough, but not showing off too much of her cleavage. Her hair was braided to the side of her head. "Come," she said beckonning me towards her, 'I wish to play a prank on my first mate, and I hear from Elladan and Elohir you are quite the prankster." she smiled at me when I made a face that clearly showed me confusion. "Yes I know them. in fact, I saw them not too long ago. But come, we have no time to waste! And you may tell those scalewages that Esmeralda knows about what they did to her stash last time they wre aboard her ship the next time you see them." I quickly followed after her as she headed toward a room on the lower deck,vwondering why Elldana dn Elohir ahd never mentioned this to me and all the years I had known them.

"So, what did you have in mind?" I questioned, wondering why she had brought my down to the kitchen.

"Well, Bartholemew has fallen asleep upstairs and I believe it would be quite entertaining if he were to wake up with lobster down his tunic. Do you follow me?" She had a maniacal grin on her face while she watched for my expression.

"Aye, I suppose he wouldn't find that qutie enjoyable."

"Excellent." was all I heard as she dove into the barrel containing the lobster. She pulled out to particually nasty looking ones and gave me another crazy grin before she headed back up top. What a strange elf, I'm think I'm beginning to like her.

I soon followed her and found her standing over Bartholemew holding one of the lobters in each hand trying to figure out how to open his tunic with no available hand. "Here let me" I said walking towards her. I undid his tunic, she place the lobsters along his chest, and I slowly closed the tunic up again. As soon as I was done, she grabbed my arm and pulled my quite some distance away from the place Bartolemew was lying. Not very long after an unmistakable cry of pain was heard over the sounds of the celebration. Everything stopped, and in the distance we could clearly see Bartholemew tearing at his tunic trying to get the crustaceans that were trapped in there. I turned to see Esmeralda laughing maniacally while rolling around on the deck. I started laughing too as she pointed at how Bartholemew was attracting qutie a lot of attention. Soon I had joined her on the floor.

"Oh my, that was better than I thought it would be!" she said holding her ribs as if they were about to break. "Thank you for your help kind sir, but now I must bid you Goodnight before young master Bartholemew comes over and pounces on me. If you would like I can show you were you may stay for the night?" she asked mockingly.

"That would be lovely, but I am only going to stay until tomorrow morning, then I must return to land and find my fellow rangers." I said looking out at the shore we had driffted from.

"Aye, I wouldn't keep you another day" she said while rising off the floor. "Come, I won't make you stay with the fools. You can stay in the spare chambers." She led me to a room right across from hers. Inside it was colored a deep red, with dark wooden furniture. It had bed, a desk, and a chest of drawers. On the far side was a window facing out over the ocean.

"I hope this will do for the night."she said while slowly backing out of the room. "I will wake you in the morning before the crew wake so that you may slip off the ship silently." I thanked her and assured her that the room was perfect. I then closed the door and jumped into the bed, almost immediatly I was fast asleep.

The next morning I woke to the sound of some one banging on my door. I ran over the the door and pulled it open to see a very chipper Esmeralda. "Are you ready to return to the mainland Aragorn?"

"Aye, just let me gather my things." As soon as I returned she led me to the life boats. "Take one of these and return to land, just keep the boat, we don't need it. But, I want you to promise me something ok?"

"Of course, anything."

"Whenever you need help, just come and ask me. I'll be glad to help you, no matter what. " she gave me a heart stopping smile and a bear hug.

"I will. _Aa' i'sul nora lanne'lle _" (May the wind fill your sails.) I replied.

" _Tenna' ento lye omenta_" (Until we next meet) she replied, with that I got into the boat and she began to lower me to the water. As I rowed closer to the shore I turned to see Esmeralda waving from the crows nest. I eargerly returned the wave, and continued to row to shore.

**Author's Note**: So? What did you think? Let me know so I know whether ot write the other chapters or not! Plus, Legolas will make a debute in chapters to come! Yum.

Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Disclaimer**: I own none of the real characters, just Esmeralda.

Chapter Two: The Request.

**Esmeralda's POV**

"Captain Esmeralda! We are fast approaching land! We will be there in an hours time!" I turned to see who was yelling up to me, breaking my concentration. I was standing in the crow's nest watching out over the sea. Oh surprise. I would have never guessed. Of course it was Bartholemew. I mean I understand he's my first mate but honestly, it was like he had to make up reasons to come stand in my presence. Sometimes I just wanted to smack him in the forehead and tell him to get outta here.

"Thank you Bartholemew. We will only be coming for provisions, no pilaging this trip. Spread this to all crew members. And tell them fast for if any of them cause a rucus, you'll get it? _Rangwa_?" (Understood?) I asked glaring down at him. I could already tell that we were nearing land, I didn't need that sad excuse for a pirate to tell me that. Honestly, I WAS the captain and all.

"_Uma_." (yes) With that the annoying curr went to tell the plan to all other members of my crew. I really need to remember to get a new first mate, he'll be the death of me one day. I looked back out over the ocean, glancing a the town in the distance. This town had a special meaning to me. It was the one were I first met young Aragorn son of Arathorn, around fifty years ago. I consider him one of my goods friends, like I do his adopted brothers, Elladan and Elohir. I always came to this town around fall, the time he was here last, hoping to catch some news that he was doing well. The townsfolk never knew anything new. But I always came, never failed. I hope this year he would be here to tell me how he fares, and how everyone in Rivendell is doing, for I long to know of my other kindred. A girl needs to hear some news of civilized elves, especially when she was out to sea with sea vermit all year.

" Lower the anchor. We have arrived." I slid down the ladder of the crows nest and jumped off the side of the ship on to the dock.

"Captain, where are we going tonight?" ERU! There he was again! I swear, I could murder him!

"_Autmankeoio lle seas a're, tul're lye omentsinome._" (Go wherever you please tonight, tomorrow we will meet here.) I said slowly walking towards my favorite pub. I knew where all the men would go. And I most definitly did not want to go there. Unfortunatly, neither did Bartholemew, who I was desperatly trying to get rid of.

" I think I shall stay with you tonight. I do not wish to join the others." Grrr...if only I could get away with it.

"_Tereva. Khilamin. Nan' uumquen._ (Fine. Follow me. But do not speak.) Amazingly, he kept his big mouth shut. Until we sat down in the bar. I supposed all good things must come to an end ay?

"_Tanya edan tirlle Nikerym._" (That man is watching you Captain). I followed Bartholemew's gaze to see a man wearing a black cloack over his shoulders with the hood up, smoking a pipe,watching me. I had indeed felt his presence when I walked in the door, but paid it no mind. Now all my attention was focused on him. There was something strangely familiar about the man, yet I could not place it. I swear he was smirking at me. Well I'm not one to let strangers smirk at me, he was gonna get what he deserved.

"_Aminum autele mani ro mern._" (I'm going to see what he wants) I said standing to leave.

"_Aminum yassen lle._" (I'm going with you) said Bartholemew standing to follow.

"_TAMPA! Lle um erin sinome.Rangwa?_" (Stop! You will remain here. Do you understand?") now he was really pissing me off.

"_Uma_."(Yes) he replied looking downfallen. Finally some peace from this whining fool.I turned back to the man, only to see his shoulders shaking from silent laughter. He must be able to speak Elvish, because he was the only one laughing, well he was about to pay. Did he know who he was laughing at? I stalked over to the man, and stopped right in front of him placing my hand on my hip.

"Can I help you with something, sir?" I glared at the man who only moved his feet off the stool they were resting upon.

"_Tul. Hama ndu. Nae saian luume' Nikerym Esmeralda._" (Come. Sit down. It has been too long Captain Emeralda.) replied the man indicating the stool his feet previously occupied.

"_Amin sinta lle?_" (Do I know you?) I asked warily watching the man for any indication of what he wanted.

"_Lle um._" (You do.)

"_ Mani naa essa en lle?_" (What is your name?) I glanced forward to try and catch a glimps of his face, but he pulled his back realizing what I was doing.

"Aragorn." What, say that again? It can't be! Wait, it has to be. I saw that he was telling the truth as he removed his hood, and smirked back at me. Oh how I missed him! I jumped onto him giving him a hug.

" It has been too long Aragorn! What have you been up to?" I asked once I recovered my dignity.

"Aye, that it has Esme. I have been posted outside a town called the Shire, watching a particular halfling. Why I do not know. But that brings me to why I am here."

"And what is that?" I ask, noticing how much different he looked. The years had taken their toll on his once smooth and soft face. It was now replaced with weather hardened skin, complete with some stubble. His eyes were the same color, but held different emotions he didn't have fifty years ago.

"I have to come to ask you to follow through with you're promise."

"Oh? Which one? I have made many of those in my life."

"The one you promised the day I left, surely you remember?" Of course I remembered, I'm an elf, we never forget promises, or anything else for that matter.

"Aye, I do. So what would you have me do?"

"Join me in staking in out in Bree waiting for the said halfling to come through. And then to lead him to Rivendell."

"How do you know he's going through there? And why is he so important?"

"You do know Mirthandir do you not?" I nodded my head bidding him to continue. 'Well, he has given me information that the halfling will do so, and he is never wrong. As to why the halfling is important, it is because he carries a great burden. IT has been found once again." Automatically I knew of what he spoke of. The Ring, forged by Sauron, had been found. In the presence of a mere halfling none the less.

"Surely this can not be?" I aske, hoping against hope that he was kididng.

"But it is. So will you help me or not?"

"Of course I will. When do we leave?'

"As soon as possible. In the morning preferably, I know you must tell your crew of your decision. I suppose you will leave Bartholemew in charge while you are away?" he asked smirking at my glare for bringing him up. Damn, I'd forgotten about that little problem. I turned back to my table to find the dunce passed out. What a great mate. I swear.

"Aye, unfortunatly. I will probably return to a bunch of rubble, that being all thats left of my ship. Well, I will go now and tell him the plan, and I will meet you where in the morning?"

"Near the dock, I will have a horse and provisions ready for you. It is a two week journey from here to Bree."

"See you then, Estel." with that I walked back over to Bartholemew, and whacked him on the back of his head. "_Dun lle nyano._" (Get up rat.) "I need you to tell the crew that I'm leaving in the morning and I don't know when I shall return. You are in charge until that time. And yes, I know I will return. I will not leave my ship in the hands of the likes of you for very long. Now come, you must go gather the crew so that I may give out the final orders." He remained sitting there, stunned. "_AUT_!"(Go.) He jumped up and ran out like he had been branded. I turned and smirked at the laughing Aragorn. "Works Every time. See you in the morning Aragorn." With that I left to go see my ship one last time before I left on a journey, not knowing how long it would take.

**Author's Note**: Alright, second chapter. So tell me what you think! In the third chapter they will be in Bree. I'm gonna skip over the whole traveling stage. That wouldn't turn out right I know. Anyway reviews are loved. Flames are used to burn down my school. Thanks! P.S. All translations are rough ones! Not to be exact!


	3. Chapter 3

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

Discalimer:

Esme: She owns nothing, pity her. I on the other hand, own more riches than you can imagine. Be jealous. BE VERY JEALOUS! MWUAHAHAHAHA

K-Dig: Down dog.

**Alright! Heres the third chapter! I hope you enjoy!**

**Review answers:**

Negotiator24: Thanks for the review, I'm glad you think it's a good story!

janzz: Thanks. I was hoping she would kinda come off as a little snarky, I guess I haven't played that out enough. Oh, Legolas' and Esme's relationship is going to be a hard one at first. It's not gonna be a "Love at first sight type" of thing, no worries, she'll always have that personality!

Chapter 3: Bree, with the little folk.

**Esmeralda's POV**

"You know Aragorn, we have been sitting here for three days, and we've had no sign of those halflings you metioned. I'm beginning to think you just want to get me alone!" I joked looking at Aragorn as we sat in the dark corner of the Prancing Pony. Three days. We had been sitting here THREE DAYS waiting on the halflings, hoping that they would soon come prancing in. No pun intended. See, I'm excited about finally getting to go to Rivendell. And the litte folk are cramping my style.

"They will come Esme, be patient for one in your life!"

"Hey, I'm a pirate, patient is not in the code book." I pulled my hood up over my face hoping to stay out of the sight of the town drunkerds who had just walked in. Everynight it was the same thing " Good evening my'lady. Would you care for a drink?" Not if its the one dripping off your beard. Right as I settled back Aragorn stiffened.

"Esme, they have arrived."

"Thank Eru, I don't thing my bum shall ever feel the same."

"Grow up."

"I'm older than you , I am grown."

"But you act like a five year old."

"Well maybe I am?"

"Just shut up. I can't hear what they're saying."

"Mehehe...I can."

"Ugh." so I gave him some quiet and listented to what Fat Man Butterbur was saying to the newcomers. The man never could remember anything. I swear, the only reason he remembers his name is because people are always yelling at him for something.

"We have some nice hobbit sized rooms to accomidate you. Would that be alright, Mr..." I awaited the name. The one Mirthandir said we were looking for was...um...Underwear? No that wasn't it, Unicorn? Nope that wasn't it either.

"Underhil, Mr. Underhill." Ah, that was it. So that short one with the black mop on his head was the one we wanted. Excellent. I can just swoop down, grab him and go. For a second, I thought it would be the fat one we were after. Even I don't think I could carry him that far. The hobbits went and sat at a table, directly in our eyesight. Stupid things didn't even notice they were being watched. Eh. Oh well..easier to get away with like that. I was readying to stand when Aragron caught my arm

"_Faithe, _ we will get them when the time is right."(Wait)

"ARRRGGGG. More waiting?" I silently yelled at Aragorn, "I have already lost the feeling in my butt, do you want me to lose it in the rest of my body?"

"It can't be that bad, it's numb, you shouldn't feel anything" he replied still watching the hobbits. Men. No matter what race, you can always count on them to be the same.

Just then the hobbit named, Pimple? Or something like that ran to the bar to get a pint of mead. Alcoholic. The fat one, Sam? He was talking to the hobbit Underhill about me and Aragorn watching him in the corner. I stuck my tongue out at 'em and crossed my eyes. That made them turn around in a hurry. Aragorn just glared at me. Oh well. Whats done is done. Just then the hobbit Pimple who was at the bar, who I realized had had to much mead, started talking about a hobbit named Frodo Baggins. Underhill jumped out of his seat and ran to the bar yelling the other's name. I guess his name isn't Pimple then? Oh well, that sounds better anyway. Opps, he tripped. Eru! He's not there anymore. Aragron stands. YES! GO TIME!

I beat Aragorn to the hobbit on the floor, jerked him up and dragged him to the room me and Aragorn were sharing. Aragorn came in not five seconds after. I threw the hobbit down next to the wall and went and sat by the window where no one would notice me. I had no reason to be part of this questioning.

"Who are you? questioned frightened hobbit.

"Are you frightened?"asked Aragorn looking intently at the hobbit.

"Yes."

"Not nearly enough. For I know what hunts you" replied Aragorn. Trust him to be all dramatice. I mean honestly. I put out the lights, staring out he window. I knew what would be coming. They felt the pull of the Ring once the hobbit had placed it on his finger. The Black Riders would be here soon.

"Release him! Or I'll have you gone sakes!" the the other hobbits fell into the rooom. Two were carrying candlestick holders, and one had his fists balled up and infront of his face. This sight, was enough to make me fall on the floor laughing.

"Oh. Were you serious?" I asked once I realized all the attention had shifted to me on the floor. Aragorn just smashed his forehead into his palm. "You know, Strider, you'll get a headache from that."

"Unless you beat me to it!"

"Oh that hurt, what a jerk." but I suppose I desevered it. I bid Aragorn continue his tirade. I blocked him out for the duration of it, I knew what would be said, and found no interest in it. I tuned back in to hear the hobbit named Merry asking who I was.

"Your worst nightmare" I said standing menacingly over the hobbit in question. Aragorn shot me a look and I stopped. How was I to know the little thing would squeak like a rat and run away. " Not really, Esmeralda, Captain of the Daerochon. At you're service." I gave them a sly grin and bowed my head. Then I popped it back up and yelled Boo. Needless to say they all scattered, and Aragorn glared. If he keeps that face too long, it'll stay like that. Eventually the fat one was brave enought return closer to me.

"Are you a pirate?" asked the fat one, Sam, his name is Sam. I need to remember that before I call him something mean.

"Aye, and an elf before you ask."

"How can you be an elf but be a pirate at the same time? I though once the elves heard the call of hte sea they had to go to Valinor?" questioned Pimple, er, Pippin.

"Well, I'm an Ear'Quessir, a sea-elf. I love the ocean. So no. I don't want to sail yet. Oh you know what I mean." I sat back down in my seat watching for the Ringwraiths to come through. They nodded there heads and turned to Aragorn as he started to speak.

"If would be safer if you stayed he night in our room tonight." said Aragorn laying out blankets on the floor for the little people. Of course the little people just nodded there heads and turned towards me, it was like they had a spring in their nexks, tht never stopped going up and down.

"SLUMBER PARTY!" I yelled jumping out of my chair. I was met by confused startes from the peanut gallery and Aragorn just glared. I gave a cheeky smile and a wink and sat back down.

"What's a slumber party? asked Pimple.

"Nothing, now go to sleep" silenced the one with the girl's name. Sherry? No.

"Alright Merry." Aha. I knew that.

The hobbits had just fallen asleep when I pressed my ear against the window, perfect timing. I heard the unmistakable sound of the gate being crushed. There goes that evil gatekeeper. Not that I feel much remorse or anything. He was such a perv. Aragorn must have heard it too. He stood and walked over to where I was, we stared at eachother a minute beofre we looked back out.

The wraiths galloped into the rooms the hobbits were meant to occupy, just to find they were empty. You could tell they were furious, they were screeching something awful. I think I went deaf in my right hear just know. Damn. Just then Frodo popped up, with his hands resting in his sleeves. He looked like a monk or something. Even though this situation was dire, I still busted out laughing. There was that infamous Aragorn glare, I've recieved many of those these past few days. He should think of trademarking those. They're qutie intense. I'm sure I will still be getting them when we head out. Ah, such is life. Opps, Aragorn was talking, better listen up. I need to stop zoning out.

"They are Ringwriaths. Shadows of what they once were. They were mortal kings of old, but they were corrupted by rings of power given to them by Sauron."

"And thanks to you stupid climsiness, you have attracted them to were we are staying. Props for you hobbit." I said without turning around.

"That was an accident." protested Frodo.

"Aye, sure it was."

"Enough, we shall leave in the morning. It is best if you get a good nights sleep now. It may be the last one you have before we reach Rivendell." said Aragorn before either of us could retort.

"Party pooper."

"Esme..."

"Alright alright, Goodnight. Sheesh." with that all was silent. I sat looking out the window thinking of the upcoming journey, listening to the screams and shrieks of the Ringwraiths as they fled the town.

**Author's Note: ** Thanks again for all the reviews! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! The next well by them travelling to Rivendell, I don't exactly how long I'm going to make that last. But oh well. Tell me what you liked, and what you would like to see in future chapters! Reviews are loved!


	4. Chapter 4

Esmeralde, the Ear'quessir.

Thanks for all the reviews!

Chapter Four: On the Road Again.

**Esmeralda's POV**

It's like I'm an animal on display. The little hobbits never stop staring at me. We had been traveling for four days, and all they'ce done is stare at me. Whenever I catch them I give them a wierd faces that makes them knock if off. For about a minute. Aragron says pay it no heed. But he doesn'tget the feeling that he has four minature stalkers out to get him. Lucky. In all our travels we could hear the black riders, but we never saw hide nor tail of them. All though, I'm pretty sure they have neither of those. It's just what Aragorn said the other day. Funny man that Aragorn. For instance, the other day Pimple, or whatever, asked to stop for a seciond breakfast, yes, a SECOND breakfast after the first, and Aragron wouldn't let them stop, so he threw an apple and hit him straight in the forehead. I definitly got a few scratches from falling into a bush from lauging so hard. The poor hobbit looked at the sky like 'since when does it rain food?". Merry just shook his head a walked away. Fat boy glared at me and Frodo looked blank.

'You know, Frodo, you could smile every once in awhile to let people know you still feel things?" I slowed my pace to walk next to Frodo, but Sam or whatever wouldn't let me. I think he might love him, gross. Hobbit-on-hobbit action. Ergggghh.

"You could do well with being nice miss." said Sam glaring at me. I matched his glare and continued.

"Well, I don't think I've seen him smile once this trip, and it's really not that bad you know." I got four increndulous looks from the peanut gallery, "See look, he showed emotion! It wasn't that hard!" I started jumping around the hobbits singing a song about Frodo's advancement in feeling. That is until Aragorn started yelling at me. Surprise surprise.

"Oh bugger off old man."

"I'm not old. You're old."said Aragorn not even looking back at us.

"No, I'm quite young actually, only about three thousand. So there."

"That is actaully quite old Esmeralde" piped Pippin, who recieved an apple to the head again, curtesy of me.

"Anyway, we will be stoping at Weathertop this eve, so come we must make it there before dark. It is about a days walk from here." saifd Aragorn shaking his head at my 'childish antics' so he liked to call them. Needless to say the hobbits cheered, I cursed, another night not spent walking to Rivendell...what a waste.

"Aye aye captain! Wait I'm the captain here! I get to decide where we stop!! I SAY RIVENDELL!" I yelled jumping up on top of the little mound beside Aragorn, and then I knocked him off.

"Esme..." opps, there's that warning tone he likes to use.

"Fine, fine you can have you little hill back." I stepped down and bowed low, 'It is all your's you majesty."

"Lets go." and he walked right by the mound he had been so mean to me about. What a jerk. So here we go, more walking. And walking. And you'll never guess what else! MORE WALKING! Opps, Aragorn was talking and I missed it. Oh well.

"We are almost there, we will come in from the north, we will be less visible from that direction. But we must hurry, let us go. Esme, Esme, ESME!"

"WHAT?!?!?!"

"Were you listening to anything I said?" 

"Errrmm...if I said yes would you believe me?"

"No not really."

"Then, yes. I was."

"Arg. I'm not repeating it."

"I wasn't asking you too."

"Good, cause I won't."

"Good, cause, I don't, want you to!"

"You're insufferable."

"NO! You're insuferable!"

"Arg."

"YAY! I WIN!!" I shouted jumping around and doing a victory dance, needless to say the hobbits were huddled together staring at me like I had an extra head. So I shouted boo at them and they ran screaming to Aragorn, who in turn, glared at me. He must be real bitter. He needs to get a woman. He must have known what I was thinking because his glare darkened, if that was even possible, and that just made me laugh. When I finally stopped laughing I realised they had left me. Jerks.

"Excuse me, you left me you know."I shouted while catching up.

'Well sir Aragorn told us to just leave as quitely as possible so that you would attrack all the bad guys to you with your loud laughter, but he told me not to tell you that. Oh man, I just did!"

I looked up smirking at Aragorn who had slapped his head to his forehead. Oh, there will be payback for sure. I wouldn't go to sleep tonight if I were him.

It was nightfall by the time we had reached weathertop, still we had only heard the wretched shrieks of the wraiths, but we hadn't seen them.

"I'm going to scout the area, you four stay here, but no fires. Here are some weapons for you to use if needed."

"What about me?"

"You will be scouting also, just not with me."

"Fine then, you don't know what you're missing." with that I set off to 'scout' out the premesis. Little did I know, we would be needed just were we left.

**Author's note:** Short chapter, I know, I didn't have much time to write, plus I wanted the part where Frodo gets stabbed to be it's own chapter. So, tell me what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Esmeralda, The Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Numero cinco! Yay! Thanks for all the reviews. I'm glad you like i so far.

Disclaimer: Nada.

Chapter Five: Oh Shit. Not good.

**Esmeralda's POV**

I'd been walking around for about ten minutes, kicking up dust and staring at the stars, when I heard it. Those stupid hobbits. They had a fire going, and they had attracted the beast. The riders, you know. I started to sprint towards the top of the mountain, hill, thing we were staying, and ran into Aragorn half way there. He gave me a scared look and started running faster. I just caught the sound sound of shrieking up on the top and knew why he was worried, the dumb idiots ran to the top of the structure, not down to get out. Stupid creatures, don't even have brains. The wraiths were with them. I started running faster and passd Aragorn about halfway up. Then I heard it. The unmistakable cry of pain. Someone had been stabbed. We weren't fast enough. I gave another burst of speed up the hill just in time to see the Numero Uno ringwraith pulling his sword out of nothing. Oh wait, there's the hobbit he hit, Frodo, the dumbarse put the ring on. Didn't I tell him not to do that because they were attacted to the pull of the ring? Just because I can be dumb at times, doesn't mean ignore me when I say something important! I pulled my sword out of my sheath and ran forward, out of the corner of my eye I saw Aragorn running around like a chicken witout head, hitting, swiping, throwing sticks that were on fire. He looked like a dork. I started to chuckle until I realized that caused the wraith that stabbed Frodo to notice me coming foward. Damn, I blew what cover I had. Oh well here goes! I readied myself and ran forward, just to see the thing retreating with a stick in it's face. What the hell. I didn't even have a stick, and I never could have hit him in the face. I turn, and there was stupid Aragorn smirking.

"You know, if you weren't a good healer and there wasn't a dying hobbit, I would push you off this mountain." He shook his head laughing and ran over ot Frodo. Aragorn picked up the blade that stabbed Frodo, only to have the blade become dust and float away with the wind.

"It was a cursed blade, a blade of Morgul. This is beyond my healing. We must head to Rivendell, now. Sam, do you know of the plant Athelas?"

"Athelas?"

"Kingsfoil."

"Aye, it's a weed?"

"Just go get it and shut up Sam." I yelled, I was tired of him arguing. If there was one thing I noticed about hobbits during this whole trip,it was that they were like five years olds in every way, hieght, brains, and mannerisms. Sam threw me a disgruntled look and ran off with Aragorn glaring at me while following him.

"Do you think Frodo will be ok Esme?" asked Pippin walking towards me, with the face he had, not even I had the heart to say a sarcastic comment. And it's almost impossible to make that happen. Almost.

"I'm sure he will be, Frodo's a strong hobbit. If he can't make if, I don't think anyone can." Erps, wrong thing to say, Pippin's eyes grew wider and his lip started trembling, "I er...didn't mean he was going to die, I was just saying he was a very strong hobbit that would most definitly make it. Now stop crying and be as brave as Frodo." the said hobbit was shivering despite the hundreds of blankets we had given him and the fire. The two hobbits and I sat in silenve for about ten minutes before Aragorn came rushing towards us.

"We must head out now, I haven't found any athelas. We will continue onwards." he gathered Frodo in his arms and started off. I got the others up and pushed them forward, following after to make sure none were left behind. We stopped about two hours out. Frodo was gettting worse by the minute. He turned a nasty green yellow color, and his blue eyes had glazed over. Aragorn and Sam had gone out in search of athelas again. Merry, Pippin, and I started a fire to try and keep Frodo atleast a little warm. Is that a hoofbeat? I swear I hear hoofeats in the distance. Nope, I must be hearing things. Oh well.

I had just settled down to try and relax a little when three figures came hurtling into the clearing where we were staying. Two were familiar to me, the other however, was not. I could telll it was an elleth like I, but I was not sure who she was. See ran over to Frodo and leaned over him.

"Frodo, I am Arwen. _Telin le thaed. Lasto beth nin, tolo dan na galad_." ( I am Arwen. I have come to help you. Hear my voice, come back to the light.)

"Who's she?" questioned Merry curiosuly peering at the stranger. I'm gonna take a wild guess and pull this out of the dark, her name's Arwen. I'm right aren't I?

"She's an elf you dolt, what else?" I snapped at Merry, honestly, even people without brains are smarter than the four hobbits I had for traveling partners.

"He is fading. He is not going to last. We must get him to my father. I have been looking for you for two days." said Arwen looking up from Frodo, first glancing curiously in my direction and they redirecting her look to Aragorn. Thats right girl, don't stare at me unless you want to be like the hobbits.

"Where's she taking him?" whispered Merry, only it wasn't a whisper, more like a yell.

"You have five wraiths behind you. Where the rest are I do not know." Gee thanks, I would have never guessed, I mean especially considering the fact that one of our party got stabbed by one? Where do I get brains like yours?

"_Dartho guin Perian. Rych le ad tolthathon_." (Stay with the Hobbits. I will send horses for you.) Aragorn said while placing Frodo on the white horse that had magically appeared in the clearing. Woah.I hadn't even noticed it until now, that must have been what I heard earlier. He is so not leaving me with all these hobbits, I might explode.

"I am the faster rider, if I can make it to the ford, the magic of my people will protect us." replied Arwen climbing up on the horse.

"Fine. Ride hard, ride fast." replied Aragorn looking worriedly up at the elleth on the horse. Uh-oh, I think some one's in love. You mean he's had a gilr this whole itme? And I never knew? How dare him. Well, that doesn't explain while he's bitter all the time.

"Noro lim Asfolth, Noro lim." they burst out of the clearing. The last view of them I got was Frodo's head lowling around her shoulder, while they sped towards Rivendell, hoping to get there before it was too late.

**Aurthor's Note:** Hope you like it. I think I'm gonna skip the rest of their travels to Rivendell and just have them arrive there in the next chapter. Tell me what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying my story so far! the next few chapters will be about all the main characters arriving and getting to know eachother before the council. So don't expect the council for a few chapters! The first chapter will be the infamous meeting between...you'll just have to wait and see. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update! I've been busy all week with soccer tourneys, Superfans, and a volleyball game for the past three nights! So here you go!

**Disclaimer:**

Esmeralda: She owns nothing. Not even a hotcake. You know, I really would enjoy a nice hot cake. **Mouth waters making it hard to talk**

K-Dig: Errr...stop drooling. NOW! I have a cookie?

Esmeralda: **Gets on knees and begs for cookie.**

K-Dig; Alrighty then. On with the story.

Chapter Six: What a pansy!

I don't think my ears will ever stop bleeding. All the hobbits could do for the two day journey from where we parted with Frodo to Rivendell, was ask "Are we there yet?" Aragron wouldn't let me knock them unconcious, said something about they would get lost or something. He acted like that would be a bad thing. When we finally reached Rivendell I raced off into some private chambers away from those smelly men, er, hobbits. And thats where I am now, relaxing in a nice, hot, lo-

"Lady Esmeralda? My name is KhelekItari I have come to help ready you for dinner tonight!" Make that short, bath. I hate people who are made to serve you. They act like you can't do anything. It irks me something terrible.

"I'm in here!" I yelled not making to move out of my soapy sanctuary. Hey, you wouldn't either after not having one for as long as I've gone without one. Sure, I've gone long periods without bathing while on my ship, but I get to jump into the ocean and feel a little bit cleaner. You can't exactly jump into a pile of dirt and gain the same satisfation, about all you would get is a broken bone and more dirt under your fingernails.

"It is time to rise, and allow me to dress you m'lady." said the elleth that walked into my bathroom. She was a tiny waisted elf about my height with waist long blonde hair. And when I say blonde, I mean almost white. I could see why her parents named her the Ice queen, her hair was like white snow, and she stood like she had an icicle up her ass.

"Well, you see, I don't think I'm quite ready to get out of my bath yet. Thanks though."I replied burowing deeper into the foam covering the water.

"Well, I don't think you have a choice. Now out." she said grabbing my arm and attempting to pull me out of the bath tub. I think I just busted my lip from slipping cause I was laughing. She's glaring a storm at me. Who cares.

"Fine, your Icelyness, I'm out. Calm down. Don't blow a fuse." I wrapped my towel around my body and moved towards the main room. I walked over to the closet but Ice Princess beat my there.

"I will chose your gown for you to wear tonight, so please, go sit by the mirror while I decide." she frog marched me to the mirror, and went back to the closet to chose for me. GAH! what does she think I have no fashion sense? I'll have you know, I'm quite fashionable thank you very much. Khelektari returned with my dress, and it wasn't too shabby. The gown was a long turquoise color, with silver stitching around the neckline, which was a V-neck, but it didn't cut too low. The sleeves where longer than my arms, and featherd otu at the bottom,the hem on the sleeves was a silver color, and the dress was a little longer than floor length. For my shoes, she chose silver slippers that had turquoise stones set on top. Although I hate to admit it, I liked the dress she chose, not that I would ever tell her that.

"Gee, thanks." I finished putting the dress on only to be thrust back into the chair.

"I will now do your hair. Which do you prefer?" She went on into some rant about different type of hair styles. Needless to say they went right over my head.

"Errrr?"

"Fine, I shall choose for you." she proceeded to yank and pull my hair into some complicated hair style. It looked like some sculpture afterward.

"No offense or anything, I mean you have some serious skill, but, I would rather my hair be something simpler if you don't mind." I grinned a little sheepishly up at her. She harumphed and re-did my hair. At the end it was a simple braid to the side, the way I love it! Woot! "Excellent!" I said before standing giving her a hug and heading for the door.

"You can not leave yet.' she said walking to push my chair in.

"What? Why not?" I said whipping around so fast I heard my neck crick. Owiie, thats painful.

"You must wait for your escort of course!"

"My what?"

"Escort, the man who shall be accompanying you to dinner."

"Right, so who is it? Aragorn? Thats no problem, I'll just meet him half way." I turned to reach for the handle again.

"No, he is escorting Arwen, someone else is coming." Wait, that can't be right, I don't know anyone else? Not anyone that is presently here at the moment. Ellohir and Elladan were off somewhere doing something dumb I'm sure.

"Err, do you mind telling me who it is?" she was saved from answering by a knock on the door. I reached for the handle only to have her knock my hand out of the way. We had a little scuffle before she finally tripped me and pushed me back on the bed and opened the door. Needless to say, the elf standing on the other side of the door got a niceview of my bloomers. What a first impression. I stood back up and brushed my dress back down. The elf standing in front of me was someone I least expected to see. One of my favorites was back.

"_Mae govannen, amin Elrohir."_ (It is nice to meet you, I am Elrohir) he said bowing, he never did cacth a galnce of my face first.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? A dork without his other half?" Elrohir's face shot up with a look of utter surprise. I flashed him my biggest smile. His matched mine before he ran forward or give me a giant bear hug.

"_Cormamin lindua ele lle" _(My heart sings to see thee!) he said twirling me around laughing.

"Aye, so does mine. It has been too long, dear friend. I thought you were out patrolling the boarders with Elladan?"

"We were, but we just arrived home a few hours ago. And father told me to come escort the guest to dinner, but I never would have guessed it would be you. I didn't think you ever left your ship!"

"I don't know if I should feel complimented, or insulted."

"How about, both?" I slapped him in the arm before heading out of the room leaving him to follow me.

"Well, are you coming or not Ro? You are the one whose supposed to be escorting my, not the other way around."

"If you would stop walking so fast I would catch up to you."

"You couldn't catch me anyway."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I'll race you!"

"You're on!" I tore around the corner heading down the next corridor, running so fast the doors around me were blurry. I could hear Elrohir's laughter mingling with mine. Unfortunately that was my down fall. I didn't hear the door infront of me open, or see the elf stepping into the hallway. Atleast, not until I collided with his hard chest. We both tummble dot the ground, a mess of green and turquoise, brown and blonde. I landed half on top of the elf, half tangled together. I opened my eyes to see beautiful blue eyes staring into mine, with a look of confusion mixed in.

"Er, hello. My name is Esmeralda." I said slowly trying to distangle my self from the other elf. I got up and turned to see Elrohir trying to contain his laughter, along with his eyebrows almost disappearing into his hair. How does he do that? I turned back to the elf I practiced my head butting on, to see him brushing his green tunic off. "i don't believe i caught your name sir?" I said holding my hand out for him to shake. The elf looked from my outstrectched hand to my face. Boy was he gorgeous. Not to mention he had nice abs from what I felt.

"My name is Legolas Greenleaf, nice to make your aquaintance." he disregaurded my hand and just looked me in the eye. I could head Elrohir in the back ground, legolas must have as well because he turned to glare at him. That was enough to send Elrohir over the edge. Me and Legolas glanced at eachother before glaring at Elrohir.

"You know Ro, I don't think I caught what was so funny?" I asked continuing to glare.

"I do! you just ran down the prince of mirkwood, who is supposed to have the most esteemed sense of most elfs. I've been trying to that for years, you been here maybe and hour and you've already done it!" he said holding his sides to supports himself while laughing. I still don't get whats so funny, and what the hell is Mirkwood? What a dreary name. Unfortunately, Legolas didn't find that a strange name at all because he bloated up like a fat cow when I asked Elrohir that.

"Mirkwood, happens to be my homestead, and I would appreciate if you wouldn't talk about it in that manner. Thank you very much."

"Ok ok, relax, don't get your leggings in a knot." I said holding my hands up in a manner of peace, "I meant no harm. Now, all I want to do is make it to dinner with out running into anyone else."

"Well, maybe if you weren't so loud when you run you would hear people leaving their rooms." Oh hell no. No he just didn't.

"Well, excuse me for having a little fun. Have you ever heaard of it?" I asked turning to glare at Legolas.

"I might have if you weren't so loud. You make dwarves sound quite."

"No listen, Ido-"

"Maybe you should conintue on toe dinner Legolas? I am sure it has already started." Elrohir said grinning sheepishly at Legolas while covering my mouth with one hand while I continued to spout off curses at the blonde elf.

"I believe I shall." He threw me one last contempuous glare before turning on his heel and heading to dinner. Once he was out of ear shot Elrohir removed his hand from my mouth.

"Why that no good prancing pansy boy elf. Just who the hell does he think he is? Louder than a dwarve, I'll show him!"

"You'll do no such thing, Legolas has just had a bad day, give him a chance later on. He'll be better I promise. He just arrived today an dis probably tired. Now lets us continue to dinner as if nothing has happened." Elrohir said before tugging me towards the dining hall. We arrived around five minutes later, and were seated at the head table next toe Elrond, Aragorn, and Arwen. You'll **never** guess who was sitting across from me. Yup you got it, Legolas, the happiest elf these parts have evern seen. But to balance out that one bad was the fact I had both Elrohir and Elladan on my sides. I could feel Ro tense when I opened my mouth to speak.

"L-Dan!" I loved making that boy squirm. "How are you! It has been too long!" I said silently laughing at the rather ugly green color Ro turned when he thought I was going to speak to Legolas.

"Fine thank you! And I'm glad to see you as well you searat." replied Dan, oblivious to what was happening around him. That being me, Ro, and nancy boy.

"Those are my mates, not me, remember, I'm the captain. I am never called a rat...you on the other hand, taking my rum like that might be cause to be have to walk the plank you scury seadog." Thats when I heard it. That nancing elf turned to the elleth to his right and opened his big ass mouth, just loud enough for me to hear.

"Well that would explain how illmannered she is. To think, a pirate at Elrond's table." he caught me glaring at him and winked. That elf was lucky Ro was here, or he'd be spouting potatos out of his ears.

"You know, Dan, I think I know jsut the right couple" I said turning to Dan.

"Oh yeah? Who would that be?"

'Khelektari, and Legolas." Legolas looked sharply in my direction, eyes flashing.

"Why do you say that??" Dan said smirking, trying to guess what I would say next.

I lowered my voice to a whisper that only Legolas and Dan could hear."Becuse they're but as uptight as some animal with a sharp stick up it's ass. But, atleast we know, they'll never have a **dull** moment." Elladan started guffawing, and Legolas gave me the dirtest gare, and if looks could kill, I think I'd be dead, ten times over. I gave him a cheeky grin before returning to my meal. The whole meal, I could feel Legolas' heated glare boreing into my forehead, but I ignored him and made the best of my dinner by talking to my good friends I hadn't seen in years. I could feel the disapproaval radiating off of Ro, who had guessed what had happened between me and the prince. What a grandpa. Elladan just thought it ws hilarious. Elrond stood and told us it was time to move to the Hall of Fire, where I knew there would be loads of stuffy drunk elves singing songs about old myths. Not exactly my cup of tea. But I suppose Ii should go anyway.

"Are you coming Esme?" asked Dan holding his arm out to me. I smiled and grabbed his arm and drug him to the hall, hoping to ge this over with as fast as possible. When one inters the room, the first impression is how huge this place is. I mean it is big. Like gigantic big. With loads of fireplaces, hence the name Hall of **Fire**. Anyway. I chose to sit in a corner away from the stage, I'm not one for singing.

"Will you not honor us with a song lady Esmeralda?" asked Lord Elrond slowly walking over to my corner. Of course wherever he goes, everyone's eyes have to follow.

"Well, I don't think, I-"

'Yeah! Do Esme! We haven't heard you in quite some time! Sing the chanty!" quirped Elladan grinning like a madman. A round of Please od lady Esmeralda! Followed this statemet. I glared at Dan, he will die a slow painful death. Oh yes, skiw, and painful.

"Fine." I said through grit teeth. I slowly walked ot the stage and gathered what courage I had and sauntered up the stairs.

"What key, m'lady?" asked the musician, I'm not quite sure what his name was.

"Er, the key?" I scratched my head looking around the crowd.

"what tone will you be singing in?"

"OH! None, I don't need music for this one thanks!" I said and walked towards the center stage. "I know I'm a terrile singer, so I'm definitly not gonna sing, not if my life depended on it. But, I will 'sing' one of the many chanties my crew members sing. So be warned."

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We pillage plunder, we rifle and loot.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We extort and pilfer, we filch and sack.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Maraud and embezzle and even highjack.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We kindle and char and in flame and ignite.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We burn up the city, we're really a fright.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals and scoundrels, we're villians and knaves.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're devils and black sheep, we're really bad eggs.

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

I gave a cheeky grin, bowed, and skipped off the stage. I could feel all eyes on me. Ahaha, I told them I couldn't sing, I warned them. I could hear a few elves laughing in the background, it just mad emy smile grow. By the time i reached Dan and Ro I was grinning from ear to ear. It was qutie funny. by then, all the elves ahd joined into the lauhging.

"Ah, now that was interesting!" said Elladan throwing his arm around my shoulder matching my grin. I winked at Elrond who was looking at me with a confused look. 'A right party opener."

"Ahah, I know, thats why I chose it, now I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I lef thte hall and skipped bakc to my room, thinking about the reactions I got from the other elves. Classic.

**Author's Note**: I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Wow, it's been a while since I've updated. Man. Sorry it took so long. Last week I had practice till eight, and then three games. Then over the weekend we had a tournament at the beach, and I've had two games so far this week. I've been swamped iwth volleyball as you can tell. SO I hope this chapter will be extra special to make up for my long absence! SO here goes!!

Chapter 7: Oh the things they loathe.

**Esmeralda's POV**

You know, my life would be a lot, I mean **a lot** easier without that uptight, snobby, stuckup, excuse for an elf, Legolas. He's just so stuffy. I can't stand him. And I can't get away from him. Everytime I see Dan or Ro, he's with them, and they insist that I stay with them and talk or shoot archery, which I royally suck at, well, Legolas doesn't. I'm sure you can see where this is going. I can't disappoint Dan or Ro by saying no, so I always tag along, get pushed into a competition, and get flattened. Royally, I mean that in a literal sense too. And let me tell you, that prince has an ego the size of Middle Earth, but personally, I think it's to cover up the lack of, um, "other" things, if you,catch my drift. But I never said that. Anyway, thats where I am now, about to be destroyed on the archery fields. Oh how long this day will be.

"Goodness, it took you long enough Esme, did you get lost again?:" Dan said smirking at me. Now the incident he's refering to, was not my fault, I swear, it really wasn't. I asked directions for the kitchen, and some stupid maid gave me directions for the stables, I got out there, said some choice things about the "kitchen" and "kitchen staff" and about how I was never going to eat here again, when Dan rode up, and helped my to my destination. SO you see, it wasn't my fault, it was the maids. So there.

"Hardy har har, aren't you just hilarious Dan? Did you ever think I trying to prolong the agony I will be facing the rest of the day? Huh?" I said glaring at him before walking to my stand for my bow. Legolas was already posted up and ready, the nerd. When I reached my station he sent a malicious glare my direction, I just grinned and winked. He stopped glaring and turned back to his target. Works everytime I tell you, everytime. I could practically hear Ro shaking his head while Dan was laughing. Yup, I was right, Ro looks like his heads about to pop off he's shaking it so hard. Poor kid, gonna have arthrites before he's five thousand.

"Are you ready to proceed lady Emseralda?" Legolas practically spit my name out like it was some vile wine. Fooh on him.

"Sure, don't get your tights in a bunch." I thatched my arrow preparing to shoot, waiting on Dan's count off.

" 3, 2, FIRE!"

I released my arrow, for it to hit the outer rim of the bullseye. You'll never guess where Pansy elf's was.The bullseye. He turned and smirked at me. I glared. Ro and Dan cheered, Legolas's smirk got bigger, and bigger, and bigger until it looked like it was eating his face. Oh how I hate the male species.

"Well, another game thrown. Congrats. Don't let it go to your overly inflated head." I stuck my hand out for him to shake, he gave it a distainful looks before turning to the ellons in the audience. I could see where this was going. Great.

"Are there any ellon in this field, that can give me some **real** competition. For you see, Lady Esme has yet to reach my standards (sends me an ugly sneer), come, step forward."

"Hey dork, if this were anything but archery, I could kill you."

"I'm sure."

"You know, you've got quie a big head, would you like me to deflate it for you?" I started to walk meacingly towards Legolas with my quiver raised slightly over my head, only to have Ro step in teh middle.

"Ehe, I believe it's time to go, you know. Get ready for the council and everything. Bye!" SHIT I forgot about the council today, oh well. I sent one more contempuous look at Legolas and stormed off leaving Ro in my wake.

"Why do you take everything he says to heart Esme?"

"Why do you jump in when I finally get to knock that blockhead off his soapbox?"

"Why do you continue to act in a way that causes him to hate you?" I slammed on the brakes and glared up at Ro, yes up, not very intimidating, I know.

"What would you have me do? Not be me? Cause I don't think it's my smell that reaks to him." I whirled back around and stomped the rest of the way to my room.

"I didn't mean it like that Esme. But you can be quite a trial at times."

"OH-HO! Some I'm a trial am I? Can't handle me huh? Fine. I see how it is." I pushed the door open and turned to face Ro, "If I'm such a nuisance, please allow me to leave your company, Good day." SLAM. Yup, right in his kisser. Refreshing isn't it? I stripped my clothing and jumped into the tub, hoping to wash this stupid feeling of guilt I was feeling for being so mean to Ro. Oh well, it'll pass.

**Twenty Minutes Later**

"You must hurry Lady Esme, you are already going to be late as it is! Out OUT!" Ice princess is back. Dun Dun Dun. Khelektari yanked me out of the bath tub and thrust a gown into my hands before shoving me behind the wall thingy you go behind to change. Violent isn't she? I dumped the clothing she chose, and picked up my outfit I wore on my ship. Oh how I missed it all. I threw my clothes and walked back out waiting for her to torture my hair, only to be surprised. She actually allowed me to do my own hair, knowing how picky I was. I just left it down. Needless to say she glared at me and shook her head. Damn wanker.

"So, I have to have an escort for this too don't I?"

"Of course Lady Esme."

"Please don't call me that. You know I don't like it."

"Besides, she isn't even fit to be considered a lady." I turned towards the door to see none other than Legolas smirking from the door frame.

"Why I-" I balled my fist up and shook it in his face before Ice Princess smacked me in the back of the head and made me bow. "I WON'T BOW TO HIM!"

"Oh yes you will Lady Esme, he is the prince, and you aren't."

"I wouldn't want to be royalty if it meant I was gonna be anything like him." SMACK. I believe I'm beginning to bruise in that spot. I pulled back into standing and glared at the arm Legolas hesitantly held out to me. "I'm not taking that, if thats what you thought."

"But you must, I am your escort after all."

"I would rather die than have you as an escort."

"I would rather it be that."

"Son of a bitch,-"SMACK. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!" I said twirling around to face Khelektari, seething.

"For your language, ladies do not speak such foul words."

"She is not a lady, do not try yourself lady Khelektari." said Legolas shooting her a flirtatious smile, she blushed up a storm, and I swear I even heard a giggle. I almost gagged.I knew they would end up together.

"Well, I'm leaving, whether you're coming or not." I started to march out the door only to be pulled to a halt by Pansy elf. "What." I growled, glaring at the arm resting on my shoulder. It retreated off my should like it had been burned. Now wouldn't that be cool?

"You must hold my arm becuase I am your escort."

"Look, I thought we went over this. Exnay on the armsnay. Plus why are YOU my escort, and not Aragorn or someone?"

"Excuse me? Aragorn is busy with other things and could not be bothered with such a trivial thing as this. Now take my arm."

" Is that why you got stuck with it? They had nothing else to do with you? No arms. The end." I continued to head towards the council area. Only problem, I have no idea where it is. I believe Legolas realizes this, and he's waiting for the perfect moment to torment me when I ask where too. Too bad I'm not going too. I don't need him.

**Thirty Minutes later**

"YES! I knew I could find it!" I jumped around for ten minutes or so, before Elrond cleared his throat telling me I was being watched. How lovely. I could hear Aragorn laughing so I sent a glare in his wonderful direction. He was gonna get it for making me have Legolas as an escort. Oh yes, he would get it. 'It's so nice to see you Aragorn, I trust you found you're TRIP here, qutie enjoyable, I'm sure." I gave him a cheeky grin before walking towards the empty seat next to him.

"Lady Esme, you are not sitting there, you have seat over here." Elrond gestured to a seat beside, yup you guessed it. Legolas. Both of our mouths dropped open.

"You've-"

"Why-"

"I just got rid-"

"Of her!" GLARE. How dare he. Take my sentence and all. We both turned and faced Elrond. He was gonna get an earful if I had anything to do with it_(A/N: I just had to add this song, I really didn't think this chapter was that funny, and I thought this would help. Think of the song What Is this Feeling from Wicked, you'll get it better that way.)_

**Legolas:**  
Dearest Lord Elrond of Rivendell:

**Esme:**  
Lord Elrond:

**Both:**  
There's been some confusion of seating at this council.

**Esme:**  
But of course, I'll smack him

**Legolas:**  
But of course, I'll rise above it.

**Both:**  
For I know that's how you'd want me to respond  
Yes, there's been some confusion  
For you see, my neighbor is:

**Legolas:**  
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar  
And altogether quite impossible to describe:

**Esme:**  
Blonde.

**Legolas:**  
What is this feeling?  
So sudden and new?

**Esme:**  
I felt it the moment  
I ran over you: (Snickers from other elves.)

**Legolas:**  
My pulse is rushing:

**Esme:**  
My toe is throbbing

**Legolas:**  
My face is flushing,

**Both:**  
What is this feeling?  
Fervid as a flame,  
Does it have a name?  
Yes! Loathing  
Unadulterated loathing

**Legolas:**  
For your face,

**Esme:**  
Your voice,

**Legolas:**  
Your clothing, (points to her outfit **(A/N: Think Cassandra's green shirt outfit iwth the boots, from Soul Calibur Two**)

**Both:**  
Let's just say - I loathe it all  
Every little trait, however small  
Makes my very flesh begin to crawl  
With simple utter loathing  
There's a strange exhilaration  
In such total detestation  
It's so pure and strong!  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last  
And I will be loathing  
Loathing you  
My whole life long!

**Mirkwood Elves:**  
Dear Legolas, you are just too good  
How do you stand it? I don't think I could!  
She's a terror! She's a tartar  
We don't mean to show a bias,  
But Legolas, you're a martyr!

**Legolas:**  
Well: these things are sent to try us!

**Mirkwood Elves:**  
Poor Legolas, forced to reside  
Beside someone so disgusticified  
We all just want to tell you:  
We're all on your side!  
We share your:

**Both: Mirkwood Elves"**  
What is this feeling so sudden and new? Loathing.  
I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you. Unadulterated loathing.  
My pulse is rushing, my head is reeling, For her face, her voice, her clothing.  
Oh what is this feeling? Let's just say, we loathe it all.  
Does it have a name? Every little trait however small. Makes our very flesh  
YES... Begin to crawl  
Ahhhhhhh! AHHHHHH!

**All:**  
LOATHING!

**Both: Mirkwood Elves:**  
There's a strange exhilaration, loathing So strong!  
In such total detestation, loathing  
So pure, so strong, loathing

**Both:**  
Though I do admit it came on fast  
Still I do believe that it can last ** Mirkwood Elves:**  
And I will be loathing Loathing.  
For forever loathing Loathing.  
Truly deeply loathing Loathing You  
My whole Loathing  
Life long! Unadulterated loathing

**Legolas:**  
Boo!

**Esme:**  
AH!

An eerie silence feel over the whole council. How wierd was that?

**Author's Note: Tell me what you think! I hope you liked it! Again, I'm sorry for taking so long to update! I've just been really busy! I'll try to update more often from now on!**


	8. Chapter 8

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: I decided to go ahead and update again, because next week is going to be rather busy for me. And I don't want to make you guys wait again. Plus, my muse has given me some sort of push to finish this chapter, and maybe the next this weekend! Woo-hoo. Anyway. Reviews are wonderful!!!**

Chapter 8: Why should I have to?

Everyone at the council was looking around at eatchother. blushing... thinking the same thought, "What the hell was that?" I found all quite hilarious. Thats where I find myself, leaning against the stone table in the middle of the courtyard. I actually can't breath. I also notice, that Sir Stick-in-thy-ass, is glaring at me for ruining his wonderful debue. Oh well. Too bad.

"Everyone! SETTLE DOWN NOW! We have a very important thing to discuss, and I need help from all of you. So if you would all take your seats given to you, yes, even you two. We will proceed wtih this council. NOW!" shouted Lord Elrond, red in the face from anger. Well, aparently he didn't find it that amusing, or did he see our point behind it all. Damn elf lord. "Now then, let us begin."

I know that I should be paying attention to what all is being said, but, I can't help myself for staring at the bug in Legolas' hair. It's just humongous. Not to mention, hard to imagine being there. He never has any dirt or anything on him, but this huge bug, it was a spider, with REALLY big eyes, that kept blinking over and over again. Now I could do the nice thing and just tell him, or I could shriek and freak out and scare the shit out of the poor elf, but that wouldn't be very nice. Ah, who am I kidding, he's not a poor elf.

"AHIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE! SPIDER!!!" I jumped out of my chiar and ran and jumped on Aragorn's shoulders. The reactions were immediate, all the Mirkwood elves pulled out their bows or swords and stared menacingly around, the dwarves jumped up and stared around. Argaorn started laughing, Elrond's eyebrows desapeared into his hairline, so thats where the twins get that from, Gandalf placed his forehead into his hands, Frodo looked boredly around at the members standing. And then it happened, Legolas caught where my gaze was pointed to, reached his hand up to his hair, and let out a bloodcurling yell! It was worse than mine, all the elves and dwarves alike, covered their ears so they wouldn't bleed. I fell off of Aragorn's shoulder's and started laughing. Man, what a girly boy.

"You, you put him in their didn't you, you vile thing!" Legolas shouted pointing at me with an irrate glare. Oh boy, maybe that wasn't such a good idea.

"What make you think I would do that? Hmmm?"

"Because Elrohir and Elladan must have told you how much I hated spiders, and how my home was infested with them, and many of my fellow comrades have been killed by them, and you took that to your advantage and decided to scare me didn't you? Thats just how cold hearted you are!" Ouch, I think my heart just broke, I wouldn't have done it if I had known all that. Ro and Dan never told me about all this. Oh man, I feel terrible. I think even feel sorry for Legolas.

"First, I hate spiders just as much as you, so I wouldn't have touched one to place it in your hair. And if you think I'm so coldhearted, I'll have you know, that Ro and Dan have not told me anything about your home, so I knew nothing about it other than the name. I'm terribly sorry that I had to bring up such bad memories, but I know that you would have done the same thing to me, if not worse, it you were in the position I was. Now, again, I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I swear. Forgive me?"

"No, you don't deserve it. You're nothing but a pirate who cares nothing for anyone but yourself and what you will gain from a situation at hand." I flinched, and he missed the hurt look flashed across my face. I caught my expresssion and put a blank mask on. He won't see how much he just made me hurt.

"Legolas, that was out of line." Aragorn stood up and strode over to my side, he could always tell when I was hurt. "She has left that which made her comfortable, to help us save your home, along with many others that could fall if Sauron got the the ring back." Maybe I should have payed attention, I didn't even know we'd gotten that far into this. I looked up at Aragorn curiously to see him shake his head slightly. "She didn't mean anything by it, she just has an attention span of that of an elfling." Now that was taking it too far. I jerked away from Aragorn sending him a glare before floping down into my chair.

"I'm not an elfling, I just think that in times such as the ones we are about to face, we won't be able to laugh as much, we should get a chance to do so now, before many things change, for the better of worse." I said still glaring at Aragorn.

"Well maybe you shouldn't do it in such a childish way, have you considered that before? Or do you still just want to annoy people with your antics." Said Legoals sneering down at me.

"I've already appologized to you. I don't need to explain myself to you, nor do I need to talk to you. So leave me alone thank you."

"Well, I suppose I will have to forgive you if you are to join us on this mission, why I don't know." Hold that thought.

"What? When did I agree to that?" I said jumping out of my chair and turning towards Aragorn, "When I agreed to come with you, I thought it was just to Rivendell, and then I could go back home."

"I told you she thought only of herself." Legolas smirked at aragorn like he had one some bet. OH now it was on. He'd see that I wasn't just some selfish elleth that he thought I was. I would show him.

"But I think it's a great idea for me to go, as long as i will be some type of help to you all. When do we leave?' I sent Legolas a smirk, look at him scowling, Aragorn and the others who I suppose will be part of the fellowship ,I don't know their names yet, were all smiling at me. I went to stand beside them just as two hobbits jumped out of their hiding places and ran over to were we were standing. Then another one did. Man, it's like they come out of holes, literally.

"Wonderful, we shall call you the Fellowship of the ring. You will leave around the end of December." Lord Elrond smiled at us all before dismissing the council. I swear I heard his stomach grumble. Can you imagine that. Uh, I think Legolas just heard mine, he sent me a disdainful look and shook his head before leaving. It was time for me to find the kitchens.

**Thirty minutes later**

"YES! I finally made it! Time to eat!" I headed toward the bowl of apples right as Khelektari ran into the room. I reached for an apple only to have her smack my hand away. "No look here, I've been in a meeting all day and I'm hungry, and there is no way that you're going to stop me from eating that apple You hear?"

"Yes, and I will, it is almost time for dinner and we must get you ready." She jerked me out of the kitchen and ran me back to my room, threw me in the bathtub, and slammed the door. I swear, I've never met anyone that violent before in my life. My goodness. Oh well, time to relax.

"Time to get dressed Lady Esme!" She yanked my out of the bathtub I had sat in for about a minute, and thrust me behind the changing wall, and threw my gown at me. Ouchie, I think she pulled my shoulder out of socket. The dress she chose is amazing. There must be something fancy going on tonight. It was a beautiful purple color with silver embordiary on the skirt, It was off the shoulder with long flowing sleeves. Now, I'm not one to wear fancy dresses, believe me, but this dress was amazingly comfortable as well as beautiful. She threw some purple shoes at me and told me to hurry up. I got to do my hair again YEAH ME! Ahah, ahem..anyway. By the time I finished getting ready there was a knock on the door. Yup, Legolas was my escort again. Oh joy.

"Are you ready or not?"

"Hold on you jerk, I have to let Khelektari finish." I walked around the wall towards the door just to stop in my tracks. I hate to admit it, but Legolas looked Gorgeous. He was wearing a dark purple tunic with black leggings, and he had a silver circlet resting on his brow. His hair was still in it's warrior brads, but they had just been redone. He must have noticed my staring because he raised his eyebrow at me, I just smiled and continued walking towards him. "Lookin good hotstuff." I love torturing people.

"Finally. Took you long enough." he said through a blush. Ahaha...it was so cute!

"Shall we?" We left the room in silence. Well, it's a step up from fighting. "Um, you look good yourself."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHHA! You sounded so nervous!!! AHhAHAA!! But, are you alright? You're actually being nice to me?" I got close up into his face to stare into his eyes, making him blush an even darker shade of red. It was quite hilarious.

"I'm fine thank you, now if we can get going."He stepped around me and continued down the hall, I had to practically run to keep up with him. He finally slowed down once he realized I wasn't keeping pace with him.

We talked qutiely the rest of the way to dinner, and seperated to find our seat once we reached the dinning hall. We actually had a pleasant conversation on the way there, maybe he isn't as bad as I thought he was?

**Author's Note: I hope you liked it! Reviews please! I decided to skip the actual talking of the council, cause I would never be able to make that work.**


	9. Chapter 9

Esmeralda, Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Sooooo, I'm back. Finally. I've had a long week. Shall I give you the low down?I think so. Well...for starters when ended up having an unanounced away game on Monday, yup, didn't know until like twelve a clock that day. It was bad. Our coach was soooo pissed. And she's frightening when she's mad. SO I didn't get home3 until way late, and I still had to write a paper for History. Then Tuesday I had a home game and that ended late because the team had gotten a lot better and it was a little more difivult. Got home, had a paper for Spanish. Wednesday, at practice, I landed funny on my knees and almost couldn't walk afterwards, went to the doctor got diagnosed with ADVANCED Patellar Tendinitis, which sucks, I'll be the first to tell you. Turns out I got it last season and just found out about, too late to stop it in the action. Now I have to suffer the pain until the swelling and stuff goes down. So then I had another away game on Thursday, got home late, had a paper for english (seems like a common theme huh?) And thats how I landed here. Sorry I couldn't update sooner. But I will grace you with a new chapter that I hope you can enjoy! Reviews are amazing!

Chapter Nine: On the Road AGAIN!

So two months came and went pretty quickly you could say. Me and Legolas ended up hanging out together more often, meaning, we weren't fighting. As much. Sure we had our fights every now and then, but we were getting better I swear. But that leads me to where we are now, on our way to the entrance. We were about to leave on the much anticipated adventure, and to say the least, I was excited. Slightly scared, but still excited. Oh, I'm getting wierd looks, someone must have said something to me, I need to stop doing that.

"Errr...what?"

"Could you atleast listen to his last question before we leave?" scoffed Legolas sending a look my way. I glared at him before turning to face Elrond.

"My apologies, what were you asking?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"Oh yeah, definitly. Lets get this show on the road. And thanks for everything!" I turned and looked expectantly at Gandalf to start walking, he never moved. I think I stared at him a good five minutes before he finally met my eye, where he blinked and then turned back to Elrond. Huff...stupid wizard. Don't know why he's the leader...Oh. So noowww he moves.

"Stupid male wizard." I grumbled walking fast to catch up with the group. I saw Legolas waiting for me so I sent him a huge grin and stopped beside him.

"You know, you shouldn't have said that so loud, I believe even he heard you, or Gimli even." he smirked before walking off. I glared at his retreating back before I realized they were leaving me!

"WAIT!!!" I practically sprinted to catch up to them only to have Legolas stop short and make me smash into him, and his very tight buttox. Hmmm...I could turn this around on him, in fact, I think I will. Hehehehe.

'AHHHHHH!!!! what was that for?!" he yelped whipping around to face.

"Whatever are you talking about?" I said giving him my most innocent look, noticing the procession had stop to see what the commotion was.

"You know very well what you just did."

"I'm afraid I don't, why don't you tell me what I did?" Poor elf, he was turning as red as a cherry just thinking about telling what I did.

"Please tell us Legolas so we may continue on" snapped Gandalf glaring in between us both. Legolas gulped and turned to face him.

'She, um...well...you see...she kind..ran into me...and then...she um..this is akward...-"

"JUST FINISH YOUR DAMN SENTENCE!" yelled Aragorn, looking incredulous that we had stopped for this.

"She well..she pinched my butt." I fell over when he finally said this, he was so red in the face it looked like he was about to errupt. Everyone just turned to look at me, strangely I might add, which only added to my histerics.

"Ahahaha, you, ahahah, are,ehehehe, FUNNY, when you're embarassed!" I said through my laughter pointing at Legolas who was just gettting redder and redder.

"You will pay for this, I wouldn't sleep if I was you." he said before stalking off to the front were Gandalf was. Aragron just shook his head and rolled his eyes at me, I stuck my tongue out at him, the hobbits shot me wierd looks, which I returned of course, and I swear I thought I saw Gimli giving me a huge grin. Wierd huh? I didn't know dwarves had teeth? Huh.

I think I'm wearing my feet thin, I mean, they probably don't even have soles anymore. We've been walking all day now, hardly stopping, and I'm still wet. Stupid Legolas, and stupid river. Ohhh, how I wish I could kill him. When we stopped to get water I went over to the edge of the river to fill my canteen again, I realized I was kinda close to the edge, but I didn't think anything of it. Bad Idea. As soon as I was starting to stand, I got to become personally aquainted with the river's water, which was freezing I might add. I jumped out and saw Legolas smirking at me, while the rest of the fellowship laughed. Oh how he's gonna get it. And I think I have just the idea, good thing we're about to stop to rest, or else he might not have anywhere to hide to recover his dignity when I'm done with him.

'Hey Legolas, what's your father's name" I asked innocently looking up at him.

"Thranduil, why do you ask?" Already suspicious, oh well.

"Just wondering, so that would make you Thranduilion, right?"

"Yess...?"

"Alright, just curious." He sent me one last curious look before shaking his head and sitting on some grey point thing that looke dmighty comfortable. Must have been a rock. He didn't know what was coming, now to find that dwarf.

'Esme, can I help you, you and Gimli have done nothing but stare at me for almost ten minutes." I could literally feel the vein in his forehead ticking. Excellent. Now to put my plan to action.

"I wrote a song for you Legolas, do you want to hear it?"

"No, not particularly."

"Oh ocme on, it's reallly good!"

"No."

"Please?!?!?!"

"No."

"PLEAS-"

"Just let the lass sing the song elf!" yelled Gimli glaring at him from his seat on a log. Legolas shot him a contempuous glare before finally agreeing to letting me sing him his songs. I winked at Gimli, who then stood and came over next to me.

"Well, here goes!" I cleared my throat before beginning. Me and Gimli started to jump from one foot to the other going in a cicle around the stone Legolas sat upon, pointing our fingers in the air as we went.

**Both:**

Started at the age of four.  
My mother went to the market place.  
Was sneaking through her bedroom door.  
To find something in a size four!

Sugar, spice, and everything nice wasn't made for only girls!  
Thranduil in a pintafore is making room,  
For the one and only...

KING FOR A DAY  
PRINCESS BY DAWN (we both started yelling at this point, Legolas face was growing darker and darker)  
KING FOR A DAY  
IN A LEATHER CORSET!  
KING FOR A DAY  
PRINCESS BY DAWN  
Just wait till all the guys get a load of me.

My daddy threw me into a cell.  
He thinks I'm not a real ellon.  
Who put the gay in GAY-Ladriel.  
Don't knock it until you've tried it.

Sugar, spice, and everything nice wasn't made for only girls. (By this time, all the hobbits were joining in, making Legolas' vein tick even harder.)  
Thranduil in a pintafore is making room,  
for the one and only...

KING FOR A DAY  
PRINCESS BY DAWN  
KING FOR A DAY  
IN A LEATHER CORSET  
KING FOR A DAY  
PRINCESS BY DAWN  
Just wait till all the guys get a load of me!!!!!!!!

I struck a pose while Gimli bowed, we were breathing hard looking around waiting for the applause, only to hear none.

"What, you didn't like my song?"

No reply.. other than the laughter of the rest of the fellowship.

"Oh come on, you honestly didn't think I would let you get off with pushing me in the river did you?" I turned to look at him only to have his face about a centimeter away,

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing, but thank you for worrying, shouldn't we be leaving now?" I asked shoving him out of the way in the process. He's got some gorgeous eyes, the color of the ocean, my home. Oh great, here comes the saddness. BLOCK IT OUT BLOCK IT OUT! Got to do my block it out dance **( A/N: my step sister acctually does one, it's really quite funny)** I gave Gimli a high five before glancing back at Legolas, only to see him with a murderous glare on his face pointed in our general direction, opps. Maybe he really didn't like our song. OH well. '"Ahehe, no hard feelings right Legolas? It was just a joke?"

"Oh no, no hard feelings." he replied, but I noticed he had a wierd look in his eyes. Gulp. No good.

"Are you quite finished yet, can we proceed?' we all turned to see Gandalf glaring at us, and we proceed to pack up and move. Part of me tells me, I'm going to regret that by the end of the night. NAH! I'lll just be kinda afraid. I could never regret that, it was pricless.

**Author's Note: ** So what do you think? I hope you liked it! My friend actually thought of this a while ago and I just thought it would fit in real well in this chapter. Plus, they're in the process of creating their relationship, what better way than through a prank war? I hope you enjoyed it! Reviews would be great. No get to it!


	10. Chapter 10

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Well, I decided to grace you with a new chapter, even though I should be writing another paper for history. Good for you huh? You should feel special. Heh. Anyway...you know what to do.

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4: Ahaha...that song is pretty stupid but if you want somethign to laugh at, there you go. Did anyone dance to it? Ahah oh boy. That reminds me of my homecoming weekend, our football team sucks, we lost like fourty two to seven or something. But everyother sport is goood, it's crazy. Thanks, it sucks really bad cause my moms is trying to get me to stop playing thinking I'm going to ruin it to where I can't walk and I'm like NOOOOOO!! I'll die! So now I'm fending my parents off, trying to still be able to play sports. Ugggh. Thanks again! I'm glad you like it!**

**Hallows07: Thanks, I'm glad you like it! Ahaha, I'm gonna try to update as much as possible, but I don't know how well I can fit that in with my scheduele and stuff. But I'm trying!**

Chapter ten: Snow angels, like me.

Legolas hasn't spoken to me since my song. That was three days ago, we're almost to that big mountain we have to go over. Says Captain Greybeard. Why we have to go over the mountain, is the fault of these stupid birds. We were stopped on this little mountain thing, minding our business when prancy boy yelled something about Crebain, Dunalnd, coming! And we all dove to hide. Unfortuantely I dove into the same bush as Legolas wihch was as akward as could be. Then Gandalf said that way was being watched, so now we have to go where it's cold. Great. Anyway, as I was saying, it's kinda scary not having Legolas even throw an insult. He just sits there and glares at me...I will be the big person here, and admit I'm frightened. Out of my mind. Gimli's no help, always saying things like, well maybe we shouldn't have put his dad in it, he was the one who put it there! Arggg...oh well. I'll see what happens. Floppy hats talking.

"We will reach the foot of the mountains in two hours time, we must rest now and then continue." Gandalf flopped down on a rock and pulled his pipe out. I wonder if he knows smoking is bad for him. I'm not gonna tell him if he doesn't, he might cast some wierd spell on me. I sat down by Legolas, who just ignored my exsictense. Honestly, it was just a joke, why is he taking it so seriously? Man, what a nerd.

"Legolas, what is your problem?"

"I don't know what you are talking about Esme." he quickly glanced at me and then continued to stare foward, ignoring me. Now I don't take to being ignored very well, this is not gonna work. I jumped up in front of him and stuck my face in his.

"Now listen here buster, that song was just a joke, chill out, you know wish you had a song to sing about me. In fact, I'll help you make one. Just stop acting like a little bitch." He pulled back from me, got up and left. Just then gandalf said it was time for us to resume our travels. What the hell. We had only been there like two minutes. Wierd old man. Great, I still have to travel with a moody elf, some annoying hobbits, two gurmpy men, a wierd wizard, and a stupid dwarf. What company. I think I'll have better luck talking to Bill, even though Sam won't let me near him. Posessive little freak. I grudginly gathered my pack back up and started walking towards the slowly sloping foot of that stupid mountain, Cards-Are-Us or something. Caradhras. Thats the one. Pfoohy. This is going to be a miserable walk...all up hill, in the snow, wearing only a cloak. Atleast I'm an elf. I don't have these problems...Mwuahaha. Ahem. Anyways...

"What are you thinking about lass?" Gimli asked sending me wierd looks, I guess I laughed out loud.

"Errr...nothing really. Sorry...Heh." I sent the fellowship a cheeky smile and ran up the front. I'm ready to be done with this.

We finally reached Caradhras, and I couldn't even see the top. It was HUGE. I mean, I know all mountains are big, but this was like, the biggest I'd ever seen. It made the hobbits look like specs of dirt beside it. Wait, why are they so far away? AHHHH THEY LEFT ME! I sprinted to catch up with them yelling the whole way there, causing Gandalf, Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir to glare my direction. I sent a furivtive glare at Boromir, I never even spoke to him he has no right to glare at me. Stupid men. I flipped my hair over my shoulder and started to climb the mountain leaving them behind. I hate snow, I just don't like it at all. Especially when you want to get somewhere fast, and then you can't because it's causing you to have to slow down because you can't get through it. Thats whats happening now, me and Legolas are the only ones who can get through the snow without any issues, everyone else was burried almost to their heads in the snow. The hobbits were currently being carried by Aragorn and Boromir. Making them even slower. Great. This is going to take FOREVER.

"Oh come on, this is ridiculous!' I shouted marching back to were the men were carrying the hobbits, I grabbed Pippin's arm and prepared to continue on, only to sink into the snow with the extra weight. "Good Lord, how much do you weigh Pippin?" He started sniffling, sensitive prick. "No, I didn't mean anything by it. Stop crying. DON'T CRY DAMN IT!!" I felt him be pryed out of my grasp to see Legolas shaking his head while rolling his eyes, holding him before continuing to walk on the top of the snow. The nerve of that elf. I scrambled out of the snow and was about to run after him when I heard a commotion behind me. I turn to see Boromir holding something that was glinting in the sun, he was staring at it intensely, Aragorn could be heard yelling his name. That must be the Ring. Boromir is ignoring him. No one is moving, guess that means I have to take action to stop this. I balled up some snow into a ball and lobbed it right at his head. It hit him square in the head. He snapped out of his trance and turned around to send a murderous glare in my direction. I placed my hand on my hip and raised my eyebrow.

"Boromir." Aragorn said, I noticed his hand resting on his hilt. So maybe he did have it under control.

Boromir turned to face Frodo and Aragorn, "It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing... Such a little thing." Ignoring Aragorn he continued to stare at the ring in his hand. I prepared another ball only to have Legolas put his hand on it to stop me from throwing it.

"Boromir, give Frodo the Ring." Finally Boromir snapped out of his trance and looked Frodo in the eye.

" As you wish. I care not." Frodo snatched the ring From Boromir, who merely ruffled Frodo's hair, which I could tell Frodo didn't like, considering the glare he sent at Boromir. Aragorn took his had off his hilt and continued on following after Boromir. I sent him a questioning look and he just shook his head. I'll find out later what this is about. I turned to follow after them only to hear something over the wind. It sounded like a voice. An evil one.

"_Legolas, tentanya? "_(Legolas, do you hear that?) I sent him a panicked look to see him carrying the same expression. He ran to the front and listened to the voice a little longer.

"There is a fell voice on the air!" he shouted looking back at Gandalf. My mouth fell open. Did I not just ask him that? Arrg.

"IT IS SARUMAN!" shouted Gandalf running to where Legolas was standing. What the hell? Saruman isn't here, or is he? I started looking around us, only to see a few rocks falling, I jumped out of the way and turned to face Gandalf who was chanting out in some strange language against Saruman. We'll see who wins.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" shouted Aragorn shielding Frodo and Sam. I noticed Boromir doing the same with Merry and Pippin. It would ahve been cute if we weren''t in this situation. Hell, its cute now, I cracked a smile, only for Boromir to give me a strange look.I just turned away and faced Gandalf who ignored Aragorn's comment. Suddenly a lightning bolt struck the top of the moment, bringing down a torrent of rocks and snow. I didn't have time to move before I was smashed into the wall, between someone's chest and the rocky moutain side. My face was smushed into a very tight, rock hard stomach that smelled of pine trees and grass. I took in a big breathe in, boy did this person smell good. Then I felt their stomach moving up and down as if laughing.I looked up to see Legolas looking down at me smirking.

"I saved your life just now. And all you do is smell me."

"I could have done it myself. And yes, you smell good. Now, can you get off me?' I asked trying to act unbothered, but being that close to Legolas had made my heart beat faster, and my face flush, why I don't know. He's just a loser. I shoved him off of me to see Aragorn and Boromir pulling the hoobits out of the snow. I noticed Gimli was missing and was about ot point this put when a snow covered figure popped out of the snow. The sight of Gimli covered in snow made me laugh. I was leaning against the side of the wall laughing when I heard Frodo say we were going to go through the mines. For some reason Gandalf looked distressed by this call. Oh well, atleast it will be warmer there.

I started to march back down the mountain, just to feel something wet, cold, and icy go down my tunic.

"OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOM! GET IT OUT! IT"S COLD OMG!!" I was jumping around in circles before finally the thing fell out of my tunic. You know what it was? A snowball. A snowball of all things. I heard someone laughing and turned to see none other than Legolas with a snow covered hand, laughing his ass off at me. "Why you little,..." i said before marching over to him. I was about to bop him on the head when he grabbed my arm to keep me from hitting him.

"Now, you didn't think I was gonna let you get away with that little song of yours now did you?" he smirked when I couldn't come up with an answer. I ripped my hand out of his grasp and continued down the mountain, hearing nothing but his laughter, his beautiful, melodious...WAIT STOP! What am I talking about? His laughter isn't beautiful, or melodious for that matter. Although it realyl is. His eyes are pretty to- NO!!!! I don't think those are pretty either. Arrrghghhh...that stupid pansy. HE finalyl caught up with me still smiling. 'You aren't that surprised are you?"

"Don't talk to me. I'm cold, thanks to you." I said through chattering teeth. He laughed a little and shook his head. Little did he know, he was gonna get it when we got off this mountain, no worries. He would get it.

**Author's Note: So? What'd you think?**


	11. Chapter 11

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** AAHHHH!! I'm so excited! basketball starts next week, woo-hoo! Ahem, anyways...that might render my wrting, so i'm hoping that my weekends will be unbusy, so taht I might be able to make up for the coming halt in writing. For you see, vollyball takes up a lot of time, but basketball takes six days out of the week. Which bring sme to my next point, Saturday, I have a playoff volleyball game, which I'm hoping we, lose, wrong, I know, but I'mr eady for basketball, and as long as volleyball goes on, I can't do basketball, Kapeche? I know I spelled that wrong. Anyway, I'm going to try to write as often as I can! I swear, but I don't know how much that will be,. Forgive. My life we pretty much be devoide of anything personal, until sometime in February. And I'm not really looking forward to that. Anyway, enough of that, one to the story! Woot!

Chapter Eleven: Looked Like an L on her forehead.

"Esme, are you going to forgive me or what I've apologized at least a thousand times now!" He's been pestering me like that for the past two hours. But I won't yield, this is what I had to deal with on the way up, so now Legolas has to take a taste of his own medicine...mwuahaha." Don't make me take drastic measures." Legolas said smirking, in a way I didn't like the looks of. I sent him a wary look and inched away from him. Too bad he followed. I kept going, he kept coming, I went, he came, I ran into Gandalf, he stopped. I got yelled at, he laughed. Wanker. I just glared and continued to make the descent, the LONG LONG trek down.

'Esmeeeeee...talk to me! I'm slightly bored." he whined. Now that is something I've never heard, Legolas, whine? As well as complain? Since when?

"Is this like a mile stone? THE first time I've ever heard you complain? E-Gads! what is this world coming too?" I said peering closely at him.

"Finally I knew that would work."

"Harumph." I turned back around and continued on. Stupid loser, who does he think he is?

"Esme, you're being ridiculous! Well, I'm taking drastic measures." I never knew what hit me. All of a sudden he had me pinned on the ground and was tickling the mess out of me, needless to say, I was laughing and flaying my limbs all around. I think I even tripped Boromir. I could hear Legolas and Aragorn laughing. Enough is enough. I took grabbed a hand full of snow, and launched it into the general direction of Legolas' face, bingo. Right in the mouth. He jumped of me to try and remove the snow lodge in his throat, curtsey of me. I jumped up and ran down to the other fellowship member, laughing all the way.

"THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR MESSING WITH ME LOSER!!!!" I put my thumb and my finger in the shape of an L on my head and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Are you holding your fingers like that to show how much you adore me?" Legolas asked smirking.

"Heavens no, I'm appalled that you would even think so lowly of me dear Legolas, this symbol stands for LOSER, which you are, not you're name. You've insulted me deeply." I said smirking at his frown. By now the fellowship was laughing at his facial expression. "Surely you didn't think that was the manner of my gesture?" I winked at him and started to walk down the mountain. I could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of him. I chuckled along with Aragorn who merely shock his head. Ehehe, I'm so nice to that poor elf. Eh, who am I kidding? I think he's been tortured enough with the silent treatment now. I stopped to wait for him, but he never came up to me, when I turned around, he was nowhere to be seen. Now, usually I would think he was just trying to get around me, but something told me to stand my guard. And that's exactly what I shall do.

THWUMP.

I side stepped in perfect time. Just as I had turned back around to continue downward, Legolas came flying off a boulder slightly above me. I could hear him coming so I simply moved letting him fall right into the snow.

"Aha, that's what you get when you're loud master elf." I stepped, lightly of course, on the back of his head and continued on. Only one problem, I couldn't move, Legolas had an iron grip on my foot. I yanked and pulled as hard as I could, but no budge. Finally I started hopping back to smack him so I could get my foot out. Bad idea number two. He grabbed my other foot, and whipped my feet out from under me. So that's where I am now, laying in the snow, with Legolas sprawled out across me laughing at my expression. Which I might add, is murderous.

"That's what you get, Mistress Elf, when you step too heavily with your feet."

"Ahaha, laugh all you want Legolas, after you get off of me that is." He lithely jumped on his feet, and left. That's right, didn't even help me up. The nerve of that guy. I lumped up some snow and lobbed it right at his head, only to have him duck, and the ball hit Gandalf's hat off his head. He slowly turned around and glared at me and Legolas. I quickly pointed in his direction, as he of course, pointed in mine. Gandalf sent us a massive glare, picked his hat up, put it on his head, and continued to walk. We both visibly deflated when we let out the breath we were holding. I looked at Legolas and started laughing at his terrible excuse for a "Gandalf Glare". It was really quite funny. He looked like a fish with squinty eyebrows.

"Whatever is so funny Esme?" questioned Aragorn who looked like he was questioning his sanity for allowing me to come on this mission. Which lead to me laughing harder and Legolas to start laughing too. We walked down the rest of the mountain leaning against each other laughing.

"Ewww...this place is gross!" I said squeamishly stepping over slippery stones covered in gray moss. Since when was moss gray you ask? Since it lives in this place. It's terrible, the walls are dark, dreary, gray stone, and there is one tree, that is, you'll never guess it. Dark, dreary gray. And then there's this gross thing that supposed to be a pond or something, but it doesn't look like it. It looks like tar or something you wouldn't be able to maneuver in. I told this to Legolas, whose reply was, he could throw me in there to test my theory. Snarky little shit. Gandalf is stumped by some stupid doors, that the stupid dwarves made invisible unless there is moonlight. Surprise surprise. Sam has been moaning for about the last hour about having to let Bob, or whatever, go home. Seriously, did he think a horse was gonna make it through there? I'd be more worried about myself actually. Sam merely glared at me when I stated this to Legolas, who agreed with me. Aragorn said that Legolas wasn't helping when he said, whatever that horse's name is, might run into some rogue men to keep him, I merely agreed with Legolas. Aragorn grumbled that we were insufferable.

"Aragorn, I heartily agree with that." said Gimli glaring at the two of us.

"Ahh, take your pipe and stuff it old man." I said glaring down at the dwarf, how dare he insult me.

"That is what I was planning on doing lass, no need to tell me twice." Legolas started to laugh while I stared shocked at what the dwarf had just said. I had been mean, and he thought I was giving him advice?

"I believe, master Gimli, that she meant that in the, meanest, way possible." said Aragorn smirking in my confused direction. Honestly what is this world coming too when people can't realize an insult that openly.

"How so master Aragorn?"

'I believe she meant for you to, how should I say this, take to your pipe and stay there, and stop talking."

"You know, Aragorn I think that is better said than she could have done. Are you sure you have not wanted to say that very thing this whole trip?" smirked Legolas at the now reddening Arargorn. I laughed along with Legolas as Aragorn tried to reclaim the top hand in this situation including a dwarf getting angrier and angrier by the minute.

'Of course not Legolas, what would give you that impression?" he asked through gritted teeth as he sent an apologetic smile towards Gimli.

"No reason at all, you just seem to be trying to start something of my lovely advice I gave to a fellow comrade. Surely you wouldn't be doing that would you?" I smirked as he gave a defeated sigh and walked away. "Props to us for outstanding wit." I bowed to Legolas who returned the gesture, while Gimli, took his pipe and stuffed it.

"What is the elvish word for friend?"

"MELLON!" three voices yelled at Frodo who started and looked around frightened, I started to giggle until Legolas smack my forehead and told me to stop. Or maybe it was to alert me to that fact that the doors were open. Wait. THE DOORS ARE OPEN! I ran into the mines, hearing Legolas chasing after me, only to slip on some unknown substance, and fall flat on my face. Boy did it smell like death in here. I could hear Boromir and Legolas laughing at me. I got up and glared at them.

"And just WHAT is so )&#&$)# funny to you?" I asked making Boromir quell his laughter, Legolas continued to laugh. So I grabbed the nearest rock I could find and prepared to throw it in his face, only, it wasn't a rock. It was a skull. "AIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!" I ended up throwing the skull at him anyways and it hit him the face while I was jumping up and down shaking my hands.

"What is the matter with you girl?" Gandalf asked me glaring in my direction. I just continued to jump and shake my hands.

"She picked up a skull, because she thought it was a rock." said Legolas like it was so easy to tell the difference in the darkness that surrounded us. I glared at Legolas' back for about five minutes, before I saw something slithering in the corner of my eye. And then that same thing grabbed Frodo and yanked him down and started dragging him to the pond. I was the first to react and jumped after it.

"HELLOOOOOO!! YOU GUYS! THERE IS A GRAND THEFT FRODO GOING ON!" I said as I sprinted past Aragorn and Boromir who were merely staring at the big ass tentacle, attached to a big ass octopus. Looked like the Kraken to me. I Jumped into the pond and hacked the first tentacle off only to be grabbed by one myself. It must have known I was the one who had cut it because it started to fling me about, I guess trying to make me even more scatter brained. "WHAT-whoosh-THE-swish-HELL-fwoosh- PUT-whish-ME-Swoosh-DOWN!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"

I Guess it worked, I started falling. Great, now I get to test my theory. I squinted my eyes shut and waited for the splash of icky water I was about to feel, only, it never came. I was being jolted around hitting something soft, yet firm, I guess I landed on the octopus, that smelled strangely good. Who knew the octopus would smell good? I sniffed into it, pines and grass. Wait, there's only one thing I know that smells like this, and it's not an eight legged beastie. I looked up, and sure enough, it was Legolas laughing at me sniffing him. When we reached the mine entrance he put me down and we started sprinting away from the exit, which I don't believe can be considered an exit anymore. The Kraken crushed it. Only then did we stop running, and then Legolas turned towards me, smirking.

"That is the second time I've saved you, and the second time you've smelled my shirt in thanks."

**Author's Note:**SOOOOOOOOO? How was it? You know the deal. I'll try to update again this weekend...but...I don't know if I'll be able too! I will desperately try. Until the next update, Good day.


	12. Chapter 12

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Hello again! I hope all are good! My week has been amazing actually. Yeah. Right. So, I this Wednesday was senior night for soccer. So of course I went, then. The sky just decided it would be nice to open up and start pouring down rain. Nice right? Anyway, then I went to our schools Halloween dance last night, and the fringing music was lame, and it was skipping. It sucked. I was supposed to be going to the beach today, but they cancelled that trip because of the rain. So my week has been alright. Anyway, enough about me. ON TO THE STORY!!

**Reviews:**

**Hallows07:**Oh man, you don't know how much your review means to me! Thank you thank you thank you soooo much!

**Bubblymuggle4:**Ahah, I feel you but I still love the mountains! Thanks for the review!

**Frathworth and Butts:** Aha, I will! Thank you!

**Chapter 12:** I spy, something gray with huge bulbous glowing eyes.

So you could things are a little awkward between me and Legolas right now. Well, it's more awkward for me than it is for him. Ever since he caught me smelling his shirt again, he's been smirking at me, while I blush and hide behind Aragorn. Who in turn just laughs and walks away. So Legolas finds me again, not that he couldn't see me before. Gandalf still thinks I'm stupid, the hobbits find it "dashing good fun to see Esme run', and Gimli just grunts, so I don't know what that means. But I do know Legolas, won't ever let me live this down. So I'm gonna have to face the music at some point, just not today. I wonder why we're stopping. Oomph. I guess I should have stopped too.

"So know you want to smell my back right?" Smirk. I should punch him in the face, his smirk wouldn't be as attractive if he was missing some teeth. Oh shoot I shouldn't have thought that. I feel the blush. His smirk just got bigger.

"You- phlabahgabitnakrabbit, Iwasnotsmellingyourback!" I grumbled pushing around him. His smirk just turned to full out laughter. Egotistical pratt. He needs to be cut down to size. Maybe I'll go talk to hobbits and see why we're stopping.

"Hey Pip, what's going on?" I walked up and squatted next to the seated hobbit who in turn just turned to look at me, with a face that would make a fish out of water proud. "Alright then. Merry do you know?"

"No."

"I think we're lost." so Pippen has woken from his state of comatose. Excellent.

"No we're not Pippen." Merry glaring at him.

"I say we are." I added seeing what Merry would say. Gandalf glared at us. Old fart.

"Shhhhh! Gandalf's thinking!" Merry whispered. Did I say whispered? I meant yelled as loud as possible thinking he was whispering. Poor thing. So deaf.

"Merry?"

"What Pip?"

"I'm hungry." Me and Merry fell sideways at what Pippen had just deadpanned. Aragorn looked at us strangely, while Legolas just snorted with laughter. Did I say snorted. I meant choked on his laughter, I'm sorry I keep doing that. Oh man, he's turning blue. I didn't know elves could turn that color. Maybe I should help him. But does he deserve it? YES cause he's just so handsome. Wait. I did not just say that. Nope. I didn't say that. I run over and slap him in the back hoping that would work.

"What are you doing foolish elf? That's not helping him!" grumbled Gimli from his seat on a rather pointy looking rock. Ah, that would explain what was up his ass.

"Well, ex-cuse me. I don't see you over here doing anything." I placed my hands on my hips and was about to give him a what for when Legolas gave a rather violent cough from beside me. I jumped back into place of hitting him on the back. If any passerby had seen an elf hitting another on the back a dwarf bristling, two men laughing, two hobbits staring, one glaring, another hobbit and a wizard staring like fish, they would have been sent running for their life. Not like there would be any passerby in this place anyway. Lucky us. Finally Legolas took a gaspingly huge breath, placing his hands on his knees breathing deeply. He actually looked little disheveled, although that could have been my fault for hitting him. 'See dwarf, it did work."

"I think Esme, that I may have a bruise from that consistent hitting you gave me." he said looking at me through his hair.

"Well, so you're not gonna say thanks now? Well. Fine. I don't care."

"Would you like me to smell you?"

"Well Legolas, that's one way to find yourself on the ground." said Aragorn through his laughter. Would you like to know what I did? I sent the insolent jerk a kick in the butt and sent him flying face first into the ground. Would you like me to smell you, pansy boy, I should have just let him die. See how much I care. This sent Gimli into hysterics, while Bormir sat in he background guffawing his head off. Just then Frodo said something about some creature following us. I turned to see some weird ass rat/squirrel/crab looking thing. With eyes as big as lanterns. Now were was he when we couldn't see?

"HEY! You- phgmmfkek!"

"Don't draw attention to us Esme." said Legolas, still not removing his hand from my mouth. I wonder what would happen if I licked him? "Ew. No you didn't!" he shouted jumping back wiping his hand on his trousers.

"Keep you hands off my face Nancy."

"Who is Nancy?" asked Pippen staring in between a glaring Legolas and a smirking Me.

"Legolas of course."

"Oh. Why?"

"Well-"

"She's lying. Don't listen to her." shouted Legolas trying to recover his dignity he was about to lose.

"I believe he was asking me Nancy, not you." I said smirking at his face that was rapidly growing redder and redder by the second. Oh how I loved it. "ACK!"

"Are you going to tell him now" said Legolas whiles sitting on me, tickling the crap out of me.

"NOOOOOOOO! I WON'T JUST STOP! ACK CAN'T BREATHE!"

He jumped of me smirking. The little snot. I got up off the ground and straightened my tunic. Oh he would pay dearly for that. Unfortunately, at a later time, Gandalf is signaling for us to move out. Finally.

"He's remembered!" shouted Merry running up to him and Frodo.

"No, but the air doesn't seem so foul down there. If in doubt Meriadoc always follow your nose." he replied making his staff give a little more light. Me and Legolas looked at each other, and then back at Gandalf. What the hell kind way to learn directions is that? It's like saying, when you can't see, stick your foot out and keep walking until you run into something. Now I'm afraid for my life.

"Legolas, Hold me. I'm scared."

"Me too Esme, me too."

'Hey you two, he's lead us this far, have faith." said Aragorn glaring back at us.

"Well, if I had known we'd be following his nose's direction, I wouldn't have come this far thank you very much. That wasn't in the description." I said before walking past him. I could feel Legolas shaking his head at me. Like I care.

"You would do well with not angering him Esme. I believe he already doesn't like you." said Legolas, through his snickering.

"Gee really? I haven't noticed thanks for helping me out there buddy. I appreciate it. Really."

"No problem. Only for a friend." Eru, his smile is gorgeous. Nope. Not true. His teeth are rotting, and he has foul breathe. AND HE SMELLS BAD! Next thing I know, Gimli's screaming his head off and running into some room. Wow, who knew this hall was this big. Shows what I get for talking to some gorgeous elf around me, I miss everything. HE IS NOT GORGEOUS! I MEAN THAT! I looked up to find the fellowship had run off without me. Again.

"YOU GUYS!" I yelled sprinting to keep up, only to slam into Legolas' back. "Must you ALWAYS stop like that Legolas?'

"Most certainly!" He replied walking forward, causing me to lose my balance and fall. I waited for the floor to hit my face, but it never happened. I looked up and saw Legolas laughing at me. The cheeky bastard caught me.

"Don't expect me to thank you for that, it was you're fault." I said pulling away, he opened his mouth to say something. "Say that only if you wish to be one half less of a man then you are now." his face turned an ugly green, to alls amusement, except Gandalf's. He was reading some book that looked like it was about to combust into a pile of dust. Hey that rhymed. CLANG. What the hell was that? I about jumped out of my skin. The whole fellowship whirled around to see a scared stiff Pippen, flinching at every hit we heard. He was holding Gandalf's hat and staff, trembling in fright.

"Fool of a took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" shouted Gandalf wrenching his stuff back from poor Pippen.

"Calm down Gandalf! He didn't do it on pur-" I was cut off by a sudden drumming from the deep. This could not be good.

**Author's Note: **So how was it? You know the drill!


	13. Chapter 13

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** So my life has been pretty hectic of late, so please, forgive my absence! Anywhoo...I've been really tired lately, and I'm trying to get this chapter in before I head out to ATL later tonight. Hectic, I know. Anyway, here you go! I hope you enjoy!

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4: **Ahaha, that's funny. That has happened to me as well, only mine wasn't as good of a surprise as yours...mine was my coach fuming about missing practice! Aha, anyway, thanks for the review!

**Hallows07: **Thanks again for the review, and I guess for liking my brain? Aha.

**Frathworth and Butts: **Thanks for telling me about the misspelling, my spell check is retarded and I must not have been paying any attention when I changed it!

Chapter 13: You bug eyed freak! Eek!

"OH shit, this can't be good." Legolas whispered looking at the door standing wide open.

"You could say that again." I was running around trying to find some subtle place to jump into the fray from when I heard his frightened squeak. Yup believe it, the famed Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, is a squeaker. Who'd a thunk it?

"Oh shit, this can't be good." Can we say sweat drop?

"I didn't mean, actually repeat what you just said." I exasperatedly thumped him on the back for being dumb. Poor kid, no learning what so ever.

"Then why did you say it?"

"Drop it please." Just then Boromir flung his head back into the room, closely followed by something moving incredibly fast. Oh it was an arrow. I knew that. Too bad it missed it's target.

"They have a cave troll." he said looking flustered. The men hoped to it, and started boarding up the flimsy piece of wood that was holding the place of where a real door should have been. Now when I say men, I meant Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas of course, not the hobbits, or heaven forbid, Gandalf lift a finger. He was still holding on to his hat and staff.., like they were gonna run away or something. Geez. What a loser. Did I mention Gimli was standing on the tomb flaying his axe around like it was a leaf. Well, he was screaming like a lunatic as well. I don't know who to be more scared of, the Goblins coming, or the Dwarf I'm locked in here with. I think it's the second. I wonder if they'll notice if I start inching away form him?

"Does the dwarf scare you Esme? I would never have known." Look at him, with that perfect blonde hair and that adorable smir- Stop. Not going any further. He must be invading my brain making me think such preposterous thoughts as those.

"No, whatever gave you that impression Leggy my friend?" I chuckled at his visible flinch. 

"Could the two of you stop flirting long enough to help us get out of this hell hole!?!?!" I think I just got a shower from all of Aragorn's spit. Needless to say, Legolas jumped into his ready stance, even though I do notice his cheeks are a little rosier. I know mine look like friggin blood right now. My face feels like it's on fire. Stupid blood rushing to my face. Arg. Luckily, I didn't have time to worry about that seeing as the piece of drift wood just collapsed after an intense beating. Really now, all they had to do was poke and it would've fallen over, no need to mangle the thing. Did I tell you these things were ugly? Well, I will now...THEY'RE HIDEOUS! They look like the belong in some rock infested, dark dreary, stony, place that I would never be caught in. You know what, just ignore everything I just said. Seriously, all of it. Except the ugly part, that's true. All the way.

"ESME! WAKE UP!! THEY'RE GOING AFTER THE HOBBITS!" Oops, I really need to stop doing that! I ran over to where Sam was being pinned between the wall, and the troll. Urg, who should I save, the troll from having Sam stuck on his mallet, or Sam, from total annihilation? 'ESME! GET SAM OUT OF THERE! NOW!" Eru Legolas can be loud. But I guess that solves my dilemma. I slid in-between the horrid beasts legs, catching a glimpse of something I really wish I hadn't, and stopped short of Sam. He looked like he was going to pee himself, or that he already had.

"Hey fatboy! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT! Seriously." I yelled jumping up hoping to distract the troll long enough for Sam to make a run for it. Only problem, Sam didn't move. I started running towards him only to be tripped by the Trolls leash, chain thing. I got up, dusted off my tunic, and turned to face the troll with my hands on my hips. No one, I mean NO ONE, trips me when I'm being heroic, I mean that. "Now look here you ugly little beastie, I hate you as much as you hate me. But let's get one thing straight, you're causing more problems then I need right now. I've been traveling for the past Eru knows how long with a bunch of dirty, stinky smelly, men/ hobbits/dwarves/wizards, and it has been hell. They've led me up some damn mountain where I practically froze my ass off and was almost killed be an avalanche, or total mortification, back down the mountain, down into some stinky pit, and then underground. Do you realize what I am? An elf. A female at that one. Which means, I HATE BEING UNDERGROUND AND I HATE BEING SURROUNDED BY MEN/HOBBITS/ELVES/DWARVES/ AND OR WIZARDS AT ALL TIME WITH NO PRIVACY EVEN IF THE ELF IN QUESTION IS HANDSOME!" By now, I had everyone's attention, including the Fellowship, and the Goblins. Shame I didn't stop when I was already mortified." Now, if you could just kindly walk you clunky ass back out of that door, down back to were ever you came from I would be so happy that I just might leave you're dumb, rotting, stinky hole that you live in. You can even keep the little skeletons free of charge. Now budge off bulky, and get to walking!" by the time my rant was over, I was breathing hard, Legolas was blushing a deep red, Aragorn and Boromir had cracked a rib from laughing, the hobbits were huddling together scared for their lives, Gandalf was shaking his head at me, and the Goblins were looking between each other and me. Too bad no one listens to females when they're angry, the Goblins just smirked an charged. Unfortunately, it wasn't the time of the month to be messing with me, seriously. I gave a war cry and jumped into the fray, accidentally poking two goblins in the eyes with me shoes, an accident, I swear. I was whirling around a hundred miles per minute, until I heard the fat troll beast hit the dust. Who ever killed him was dead, that was gonna be my job. I spun around looking accusingly only to spot mister perfect pulling his swords out of the beast's head. I stalked over to him and was about to tell him off, when the sodding elf just ran right. "Excuse me Legolas, I hadn't even started on you!

He just ignored me, so I guess I'll go find out was going on over there. OH. It's just Frodo being dramatic, how nice.

"We must leave now." shouted Aragorn pulling his sword back out, casting me an amused look before racing to the door. Now what was that look for? I turned to Legolas to ask him, but he just blushed and followed after Aragorn. Bunch of weird old males. I leapt up and followed after them hoping to leave this hell hole soon, and in one piece.

We had reached the hall and were still running, until we were surrounded by a swarm of Goblins, while more were stilling crawling like ants from the ceilings and pillars. If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were into eh middle of some huge ant hill. Good thing I know better right.

This one ugly little beast, with big bug eyes and nasty teeth, was staring perversely at me, grossing me out for real.

"Looks like you have an admirer Esme." gloated Legolas before I whacked him in the back of the knee with the flat side of my sword.

"Hey you buster, with the eyes. Keep ogling at me, and you won't have those eyes anymore, comprendes?" I shouted brandishing my sword menacingly. Suddenly the swarm started looking around and then scampered off like a bunch of sissies they were. "Aha! Scared you didn't I?" unfortunately my cry was covered by a growling noise from the depths.

"What is this new devilry?" asked Boromir looking to the ceiling like it was going to give him the answers. Ha as if.

"A Balrog. This foe is beyond any of you. Run!" replied Gandalf before pelting towards the bridge. We followed trying to keep his pace, hoping to make it out of this. I quickly raced to the front hoping to catch Gandlaf to explain what a Balrog was.

"Esme, do not bother him right now!" Legolas said pulling my tunic to slow my pace. What am I transparent or something? How did he know I was going to do that? I sat him a questioning look hoping to convey me curiosity, good thing he's a mind reader. " It was written in your eyes." Or not so much.

"You could never be a poet."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

"No problem."

"Glad you two could have a pleasant conversation while we're running for our lives. Wouldn't want you two to be concerned or anything." snarled Aragorn threw gritted teeth. Sheesh, someone needs a time out. I looked at Legolas and shrugged.

We continued to run until we reached the landing, only to have some of our members almost fall to the depths, Boromir included, shame Legolas appeared to catch him. Is it me, or does death keep evading Boromir? Maybe he did a deal with the reaper or something? I'll have to ask him at some point.

"Lead them on Aragorn. The bridge is near. Do as I say! Swords are of no more use here." Gandalf turned to slow down I almost stopped with him. If Legolas hadn't jerked my shoulder out of socket so I would keep going. He easily leaped over the hole in the stair case, did I mention he still had my hand? Well, he did.

'YOU LITTLE DUNCE! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED ME! YOU KNOW THAT? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!" I shouted punching him in the chest with every insult.

"Yes, but I didn't did I?" he said rubbing his chest where, I'm sure there is a bruise.

"But there was still that chance!"

"HELLO! Can you two maybe continue this lover's spat, say, AFTER WE SURVIVE?" shouted Aragorn glaring at us. I gave him a sheepish smile and nod, while Legolas called for people to jump. If that stupid Elf wasn't so cut-, I mean cocky, he wouldn't be so at-, I meant atrocious, and I wouldn't have to l-, oh forget it. We had gotten everyone over, except for Frodo and Aragorn, when things got worse. A bunch of rocks had fallen on the other side of them and broken the stairs they were standing on, off of a sturdy landing, meaning, they were hanging by the smallest thread to the pillar. I think Frodo is cursed with bad luck, I mean honestly, the troll and now this shit? What gives? Aragorn slowly coached him through swaying before their chariot arrived. I meant the stair slammed into ours. We started to race off again, hearing the Balrog get closer and closer.

After what seemed like forever, we finally reached the bridge, which was more like a branch between two cliffs, over a humongous chasm. Great. Just Great. I closed my eyes while running, hoping not to fall, when I felt someone's hand clasp my own, pulling me into the middle so I wouldn't. I opened my eyes a smidge to see Legolas smile back at me before continuing to run. He needs to stop being nice to me before I start liking him more. Er. I didn't say that. Ever. As soon as we reached the side I turned to see Gandalf kinda hanging out in the middle of the branch, bridge. Now, I understand he's some sort of wizard, but honestly, what's he think he can do against something a sword can't hurt?

"Um, should someone go get him?" I asked glancing at Aragorn who was staring at Gandalf as well. Then the Balrog appeared. It looked like a flaming bat/ram with a really, really, bad third degree burn. I mean, not even all atheles in the world could help that burn.

"You cannot pass." Gandalf shouted at the thing planting his staff firmly on the bridge. In turn, the Balrog just brandished a whip made of fire. Well, he has some strange fantasies. Erm, anyway. "I am the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor, the dark fire will not avail you flame of udun! Go back to the shadow! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"! The bridge broke and the thing fell with it. Now honestly, he wasn't as big and bad as Gandalf said.

"GANDALF!" I turned to see why Frodo shrieked like that, to see Gandalf being pulled to the edge by the monster's whip.

I started to run forward only to be jerked backward by someone's hold on my hand. I look down and realized I was still holding Legolas' hand. Strange. I dropped his hand and was about to continue when he threw me over his shoulder and started to run out. But I didn't go quietly. I know his ears are going to be throbbing for weeks. Just like my throat.

Legolas continued to carry me out of the mines, which is a good thing, because I don't know if I could have made it myself. I mean, I know me and Gandalf weren't the best of pals, but, he was like a Granddad to me. A really distant granddad, but one all the same. Legolas placed me on the wet ground out side. I just sat there, and cried. He sat there with me, hugging me, whispering comfortingly into my ears. Secretly, my heart was rejocing, even through my sorrow. Oh Eru, how could this have happened?

**Author's Note:** SOOOOOO?Que Pasa? Reviews por favor!!!


	14. Chapter 14

GAH! Trying to get this in tonight before the most hectic weekend of my life, actually, never mind. Next weekends gonna be the same. I have a basketball tournament this weekend, and next weekend, all day Sunday, and then on Monday too, so it's gonna be hectic. So here's the fourteenth chapter! You know the deal!

**Reviews:**

**Hallows07: **Thanks! glad you like it so far!

**Hikitsulover-818: ** Wow! Thanks glad you think so!

**lettres d'amour : **Thanks, that might have been my fault and I just didn't catch it!

**bubblymuggle4: **Close enough! Ahaha, my brother would have just stared, and then thrown something at me to make me shut up.

Chapter Fourteen: You know, I'm kinda bored.

It's hard to say how long we sat there, crying, wishing things had turned out differently. Part of me knew that Gandalf knew what awaited him in the mines before we went in there, the other, said I was ridiculous. But on a happier note, that shouldn't be making me any less sad, Legolas is still hugging me. Yay! Ermmm...Eru I wish he would get off! Ok I lied.

"Boromir, get them up!" Aragorn said looking around at the crest fallen faces. Man, he could be heartless at times.

"Aragorn, let them be! Can't you see how depressed this is making them you ignorant tart?" I snapped pulling reluctantly out of Legolas' embrace. I meant, like I had just been stabbed with a hot iron.

By nightfall these hills will be swarming with orcs." He said sending a glare in my direction. "Come Legolas, Gimli, Boromir get them up. On your feet Sam. Frodo! Frodo!" He spun in circle's looking for the hobbit. Frodo seemed to have suffered the loss the most, when he turned his eyes were bloodshot and he had tears running down his face. It was enough to make me cry again, which I did on my way over to him. I don't even know why I was crying.

"POOR BABY!" I wrapped my arm around his shoulder's and laid my head on his. Before fatboy came over and tackled me that is. 'Ok ok, no need to get violent, you little freak." I stood and brushed my clothes off before walking back over to Legolas.

"What was that? Did you mumble something about obsessive compulsive fat hobbits? Maybe you should speak a little louder, we couldn't hear you." said Legolas, with that gorgeous smirk. You know what, I quit. I'll just admit it, he's absolutely handsome. "Who? Sam?"

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Definitly."

"Shit."

"Right...who is?"

"What?"

"Oh never mind." he stalked away shaking his head and chuckling. The little prick. Oops, he turned around when I stuck my tongue out. Maybe if I just smile, he'll take that glare off...

"ESME! Let's go!" Oops, didn't even realize they left. Aragorn still didn't have to be that much of a jerk.

Now understand when I say this, forests are great sure, but when they almost blind you with whiteness, not so much. Really now, I'd like to be able to see for the rest of this journey if you don't mind, gah. Legolas looks like he's about to shit his tights he's so happy. He's practically skipping for joy. Hehe, maybe I could ask him to. Never mind, he's doing it anyway.

"Legolas, you pansy what are you doing?" I asked, shocked to say the least.

"I'm walking, what does it look like?" he snapped, continuing to skip up the path. Damn pansy elf. I knew there was something wrong with him, especially when he never got dirty, or his hair out of place. Compared to me, with dried blood on my arms and face, twigs and dirt in my hair, and I'm smelly as god knows what, he looks more like a girl than I do. What if he really is a girl, secretly?

"Legolas?"

"What?"

"Are you secretly a girl, but you're father dressed you up like a guy all your life so you could take over the thrown?"

Silence. Crazed laughter, from all but elf in question. He's looking like he could run me through with his bow right now, and not feel any remorse. Maybe that wasn't the best question to ask...

"Stay close young hobbits. They say a great sorceress lives in these woods, of terrible power all who look upon her fall under her spell." Gimli muttered to the hobbits, scaring the patooties out of them, stupid dwarf. I mean really, how ugly can this person be? She couldn't be powerful if she killed all her subjects when they looked at her? Eru, what a daft creature he is. "and are never seen again." Bah humbug.

Sam's acting like a mother hen, or very worried spouse over mister Frodo, who has a glazed kinda look in his eyes. Gimli's going on about how he's got eyes like a deer or something, shame he can't hear the group of elves that are about to pop out of the tress and surround us. Me and Legolas shared a look, before crossing our arms and leaning back. Yup I knew it. Here they are. The look on Gimli's face is enough to make me cry. And it did, good thing there was a tree for me to lean on!

"The dwarf breathes so-

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH"

"Loud...

"ERU! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"We could have-

"MAN! DID YOU SEE HIS FACE AHAHA!"

"Shot him-

"AHAHA, That was priceless!!'

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP! YOU'RE RUINING THE DRAMATIC TENSION!!!" I whipped around whipping my eyes to see a fuming blonde haired elf. Shame he had nothing on Legolas. Shit. "Are you done yet lady elf?"

"Yeah, the floor's yours now." I mock bowed. A little vein popped out in the elf's forehead, Legolas let out a low sigh that sounded suspiciously like "Eru", Aragorn preformed the 'Palm-head" gesture, Gimli glared cross-eyed at the arrow in his face, and the hobbits quivered in fear. So, all's good wouldn't you say?

"As I was saying. We could have shot the, oh forget it." He caught sight of me looking some other elf up and down, winking, he was quite a looker if I might add. Not the mean one, but one of his sentries.

"_Haldir a lorien. Un durien._" (Haldir of Lorien, we need you're protection.). Aragorn bowed his head at the elf, Haldir I suppose, what an ugly name. Oops I think I said that out loud, he's glaring even harder at me now, so is Aragorn. I'll just smile, and back away.

"Aragorn, these woods are perilous. We should go back." YES! Now all the attention is back on the stupid dwarf.

"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood, you cannot go back." Haldir said raising his eyebrow.

"I have a question!'" The whole group simultaneously turned to face me. What am I? A source of entertainment? "Errr... Anyway, how is it all other elves can raise their eyebrow, but I can't?" Want to know the answer I got? All the bloody elves raised their eyebrows, including Legolas. I hate those bloody wankers.

"Anyway, come she is waiting." Haldir said shaking his head turning to leave.

"Who is waiting?"

"THE LADY OF THE WOOD!"

"Eru, you didn't all have to yell it!" I feel so unloved.

It's hard to say how long we walked, but it seemed like forever, and like we were walking in circles. I even asked how they knew where they were going when it all looked the same, they just shook their heads and kept walking. Until we were blind folded of course. All because of the stupid dwarf. Me and Legolas didn't go down without a fight. But effort was futile, Aragorn said we all had too, because we were a group. I didn't ask for the dumb dwarf to be a part of this! But, we finally reached the place we were going. It was massive but guess what else. White. I swear, how sterile do they think they should be? Oh, two women, er, a man and a woman are coming now, wearing white, of course. I wonder if that's that special 'Lady of the Wooddd!"

"_Yes, I am."_ Um.. What the hell? Who was that?"

_" I am Galadriel, or the lady of the wood it you prefer." _ And I can hear you in my head why? I know I must look like a fool looking around like I am, but I'm so damn confused. Sure enough Legolas is looking at me like I've got ten heads.

"_ Yes, I suppose he is." _Damn gotta stop thinking to you. Man, do you know how funny that sounds?

_" Right, anyway, why have I never forseen you're coming with the fellowship?" _Because I'm invisible?

"_Not likely. How did you become part of it?" _"Well, I wasn't supposed to be originally, I was only supposed to accompany Aragorn to Rivendell and then return to my ship and crew, oh Eru I miss my ship, er, anyway. I got there and then I was invited to the council, and decided to come on this mission, mainly to spite Legolas, but I'm glad I've come, me and Legolas have gotten much closer compared to how it started out. Wow, I just said way to much, ignore that.

"_Ahaha, I should think not. Well, that would explain as much. By the way, he feels the same." _ What are you talking about? No answer, alright.

"He has fallen into shadow. The quest stands upon the edge of a knife stray but a little and it will fail into the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while the company is true. Do not let your hearts be troubled go now and rest for you are weary with toil and much sorrow. Tonight you will sleep in peace." Galadriel replied to some question asked, I suppose by the man on her side. Is it, me or is she smirking in my direction. Oh if only I could read minds. The fun I would have...mwuahaha. Er.

"I said that out loud didn't I?" Ten simultaneous nods. 'Right then, carry on. And Legolas, STOP SMIRKING!" It just got bigger. Loser. Haldir the elf with something stuck up his butt, returned to lead us to where we were to stay tonight, but all I want is a nice hot, long, bath.

"Milady, I have yet to learn your name? I'm sure that it is just as beautiful as you." Haldir questioned, stopping to grasp me hand." I believe we got off to a bad start back in the woods. I was only upset because I had been in those trees for ages it seemed. My name is Haldir" Well, maybe he isn't so bad.

"Esme, none of that m'lady crap. She hates it. I know from experience." Legolas grabbed my hand and tried to continue walking, Haldir merely raised his eyebrow. I never noticed, but, they're different colors than his hair. How strange.

"Um, excuse me Legolas but I believe I can introduce my self." I jerked my hand back out of his, and turned to face Haldir. "All he said is true, no hard feelings yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, now can you just show me where I can get a bath and shut off your attempts at charming me? My first mate has better technique, and he's terrible." I said smiling. As sweetly as possible of course.

"Most certainly." Haldir replied, looking slightly abashed, Legolas was sending me a funny look, half way between curiosity, and amusement. "This way if you please." He turned off some side path, away from the direction the rest of the fellowship was going. But I could care less, I only wish to reach a bath, and soon! Thank Eru, my prayers have been answered. We finally reached a large room, filled with a HUMONGOUS tub, with many bottles of shampoo and soap along the sides.

"_Diola lle, Haldir."_ (Thank you, Haldir.)

_"Lle creoso" _(You're welcome.) He bowed and walked back in the direction we came. I hope I don't get lost on the way back, but that will have to wait. Right now, this bath is calling to me.

I stayed in the bath until all the hotness of the water left, and all the bubbles had disappeared, it felt amazing to say the least. I grabbed a big fluffy towel, the color of white of course, and searched for my close. I couldn't find them anywhere! Maybe, I fell asleep and someone came and switched my clothes because in their place was a gown. Thank the lords! I mean, I'm about tired of tights. The gown was simple, but made of a wonderfully light and airy soft lavender colored fabric, with lavender slippers to match. And you know what else? I smelled like lavender, thanks to the shampoo I used. Aha, funny I know. I pulled the gown on, tied my hair in a simple braid and prepared to leave hoping not to get lost. I reached for the door handle, only to have it jerked open. Ending with me on the floor from slipping because of how scared I was. It was wonder elf, here to save the day.

"Legolas, do you know how lucky you were that I was dressed? If I wasn't, you would have been in a world, of pain." I said grabbing the hand he had extended to help me up.

"My apologies. I just came to see if you were lost or not." he had the curtsey to look slightly embarrassed, it was adorable.

"Yeah yeah, thank Eru for you, I was just thinking how bad it would suck if I got lost." I slipped my arm around his and began to skip. He shouldn't mind considering he did it earlier. Well, never mind then, the loser just walked while I was skipping, so I stopped, so I wouldn't look like a fool. "So, where are we going?"

"To the rest of the fellowship?" He said looking at me like I was crazy. We all know I am though. It took about ten minutes for us to get to the group, my fault I guess, I got scared of a squirrel, and spazzed out, and ran back the direction I came. Legolas had to go get me, and explain to me what the mysterious noise was. Now he can't stop laughing at me. Yeah, so I scare easily, so what?

"You know, I thought the squirrelly was mighty scary also, if that helps any." sniggered the blonde tart.

"Hardy har har, you know very well I didn't know it was a squirrel, otherwise I wouldn't have spazzed." I crossed my arms and stuck out my nose and started walking. Only to trip and have Legolas catch me, making him laugh harder.

"Of course. Now, do you think you can walk with out me holding you're hand so you don't fall?"

"Take that fake little smile off you're face, you prat. I don't need you're help." We finally reached the camp, him laughing, me scowling. Pippin and Merry were sprawled on their couches, and Sam and Frodo were doing whatever they do, but Aragorn and Boromir were missing. I turned to Legolas to ask,. but he merely raised his shoulders like he didn't know. Hm...whatever. "Cool, hey Pippen, got any food?"

The youngest hobbit jumped when I called him. "Almost as jumpy as you eh?" asked Legolas, sniggering at my reaction, which was holding my fists at my side as not to attack his beautiful face.

"Aha, very funny Elf-boy. Keep it up and you'll get a good one to the face." He continued to snigger and walked away. Pippen still hasn't answered my question. "AY! Pippen? Can you hear?" I placed my hands on my hips and looked straight at him, hoping to receive some sign that he could at least understand the common language.

"Yes I can, thank you. No, we don't have any, we've all eaten and there is none left." he said glaring up at me. I ruffled his hair, said a quick thanks, and headed off in some direction, hoping it would lead to the kitchens.

"Where are you going Esme?" Legolas called after me. Protective isn't he?

"To get food, cause you bunch of fatties ate it all."

"Well, I'm coming with you. No buts." He sprinted to catch up with me and we started to walk. Half way to where ever we were going, we approached where Aragorn and Boromir were hiding, having an important conference, so naturally we didn't listen. Not.

"I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head she spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said even now there is still hope but I do not see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man but his rule is failing, he looks to me to set things right and I would do it, I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it Aragorn, the white tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver its banners caught in the morning breeze, have you ever been called home by the clear sound of the trumpets?" Boromir looked major upset. Poor thing, as if.

"I have seen the white city, long ago." replied Aragorn looking at Boromir, just as grim.

"One day our paths will lead us there. And the tower guards shall take up the call the lords of Gondor have returned." Boromir clasped Aragorn's hand and smiled, the first true smile I'd ever seen the man give. I almost jumped out of my hiding spot to congratulate him on being happy for once, but Legolas yanked me back down. Aragorn looked suspiciously in our direction before walking with Boromir back to the camp.

"Well then, that was interesting." I said standing and brushing my dress off. "Who knew I would be stuck with a bunch of emotional men?"

**Author's Note: **So, how is it? Reviews reviews reviews!


	15. Chapter 15

Esmeralda, the Ear' Quessir.

**Author's Note: **So, I've had a busy week, and this week is going to be even more hectic, so I'm going to go ahead and update now, but you might catch another later this week, we shall see. Anyhooo...you know the deal. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!

**Reviews: **

**bubblymuggle4: **That was my favortie part. I could just visualize a vein in his forehead ticking while he was impatiently waiting for her to shut up. Ah, at times his facial expressions can crack me up. SO there was my inspiration.

**Hikitsulover-818:**Thanks!

**Hallows07: **Excellente! Thanks.

Chapter 15: On the road again!

We'd been in Lothlorien for at least three weeks when Galadrial finally decided it was time to kick us out. Well, she wasn't that mean about it. during our stay, Frodo got freaked about by some pitcher of water she showed him, Sam became even more protective, Merry and Pippin became restless, Legolas, was as stoic as usual. As for me, I couldn't wait until it was time to leave. Which it is now, thank Eru. Anyway, now we're standing on this goose shaped ship of The Lady's eating a lunch before we leave. Lord Celebron is kinda staring off into space, what a wierdo.

"I have brought in my ship, gifts which the Lord and Lady of Galadhrim now offer you in memory of Lothlorien." said Lady Galadrial rising from her seat. Must mean we're getting off this freaky moving bird. It has nothing my ship, except making me wish I was there even more now.

She gave Aragorn some self cleaning sheath, not like he even cares, he just hacks and hacks away, doesn't ever clean his blade anyway. Then she said something about already giving him the best gift ever, whatever that is, playing favorites. she gave Boromir some gold belt thing, and toe Merry and Pippin she gave daggers that looked like butter knifes. The Sam got rope, complained about it, finally took it, to Legolas she gave a bow, and then Frodo she gave "Light-In-a-Bottle". Smashing eh? But then Gimli, the poor, stupid dwarf, asked for her hair. Her hair. He asked for Galadrial's blonde ass hair. To put in stone of something, can we say STALKER!!!! I got a necklace, with a beautiful blue stone, that reminded me of the ocean. But nothing helpful, just jewelry, including the brooch we all got. Stingy old hag. Opps, I think she heard me, think that anyway. I love you! Not working, still glaring oh well, we're off now!

"Esme, could you stop rocking the boat?" groaned Gimli for what seemed like the thousandth time. Yes, I had the luck of being stuck with a pompous elf, who is all 'paddle paddle paddle all day long' and the with the stupid moody dwarf who's complaining about seasickness, when we aren't even on the ocean. Although it could be because I've been rocking the boat for the past hour, to mine and Legolas' entertainment. "If you keep it up, I think I might hurl."

"How, lovely of you to tell us that Gimli, ol' chap. Too bad none seem to care." I said, starting to rock the boat even harder, only I didn't know Legolas decided to do the same. The end result...the three of us in the water with the boat overturned. I almost drowned I was laughing so hard. Until Aragorn started moaning and yelling about insolent Elves, which we could hardly hear over Gimli's gurgles, and the other's laughter.

"You know, if you were any louder, I'd think you were a dwarf." snarled Aragorn paddling furiously towards our overturned boat. He righted the thing and pointed menacingly at me, and then at the boat. "Get it, stay in. Or else." He left with out another word. Me and Legolas shared a look, Gimli just tried to lift his body into the boat, which didn't work.

"Let me help you Gimli." Legolas started to move towards Gimli.

"NO! I DON'T NEED ANY STUPID ELF TO HELP! STAY AWAY!'

"Alright Grumpy, no need to blow a blood vessel. Who wanted to help you anyway?" I Jumped into the boat and sat looking at him, man it was funny watching the dwarf struggle. Legolas finally took pity on him, plugged his ears, and jerked him into the boat. By that time, we were way behind the others. 'Ay, look what you did! We lost them for sure now!'

"No, we're only a few leagues behind, if we hurry we might get to them before dark." Legolas jumped to it.

He was right, by dusk we had reached the other boats. To much sniggering from the hobbits, until I threatened them with dismemberment.

"Esme, why are you always doing that to them?" questioned Aragorn watching the little snots scampering away.

"Why do they have to be so annoying? Plus, you'd be in a bad mood too if you had to ride all day in a boat with a dwarf who never stops complaining. Ever." I smiled sarcastically at Aragorn, while glaring daggers at said dwarf's head. He was drooling all over the person he was leaning against, who happened to be Legolas. Whose face was priceless, enough to make even Aragorn guffaw.

"What. Do. You. Find. So. Funny??????" whispered Legolas, with enough venom to make me, of all people, shut up.

"Nothing, Legolas sir, we meant no harm!" I'm giving my best impersonation of a hobbit, and you know what he does to me? The stupid elf knocks me backwards over a log. "Now wait a minute!" The loser sprints off, dropping slumbering Gimli on a rock, and the dwarf sleeps right through it. I glance at Aragorn who's staring at Gimli like he was an unknown specimen. Almost made me forget about chasing after Legolas. I followed at a leisurely pace, meaning, I sprinted as fast as I could, while trying not to trip over stones and branches laying around. I bet I looked like an idiot. "Oh Leoglas?! Oh LEGO-OOMPH." Oh, lovely, someone's rock hard abs.

"Are you go-"

"Say it. And die." I jerked myself away, straightened my tunic, and began to rain upon Legolas, a mighty storm of slapping. On the arms anyway. "What-smack-were-slap-punch-you-kick-pinch-thinking-poke?" Want to know what he did? Laugh. The dumb blonde elf sat there, and laughed. So I kicked his knees out from under him, result. He was covered with mud and leaves. Yes, famed Legolas Thrandulion, was, I dare not say it...Dirty. I'll keep my balance with this tree, while I cry from laughing.

"This isn't that funny you know." He said crossing his arms and glaring at me. But all I saw was the mud dripping off his cheek nose. Here comes another fit. 'Honestly. You act as if you've never seen me dirty."

"That's, ahaha, because, whoooooooo, I haven't. EHEHEHEH." Snicker. Man, I wish I could capture this moment, and keep it forever, the cleanest elf on earth, dripping with mud. Priceless. Until he got this mischievous glint in his eye, and his mouth started to curl into that gorgeous smirk. Oh shit. I'm screwed. "AHHHHHH HOLY SHIT! NO!!!!" I started running back to camp, and made it there, before he finally caught me. But that didn't stop him from tackling me.

"Revenge, truly is sweet." He placed his arms on either side of my head, and placed a sloppy, wet, muddy kiss on my forehead, before lithely standing and heading towards the river to clean off. Under normal circumstances, I'd be performing a victory dance because he kissed my forehead, but as for now, I just wanted to ball up some mud, and shove down his pointy ass ear.

"We leave in the morning."

"Just go ahead and laugh Aragorn, just stop trying to conceal it." I could hear the laughter he was trying to keep a bay, but as soon as I gave permission, he bent forward and placed hi hands on his knees to help support his raucous laughter. I just shoved him over and went to find my own spot to clean off.

When I returned from my lovely bath. Did I say lovely? I meant trying, difficult, had to fight with a squirrel to get my clothes back, terrible bath, Sam had already made food and everyone was settling down to eat. How they can stand his concoctions I'll never know. Legolas sent me a smile, and patted the spot on the ground next to him. I sent him a smile, grabbed a plate, and flopped down next to Aragorn. Who sent me a funny look, so I left and ended up sitting next to Gimli. Well, I'll give you some advice, bring a rain cloak. He spills enough food/drink to end a drought. I came out of dinner wetter than before.

"GIMLI!" I yanked his plate out of his hands, almost losing a finger in the process, and threw it over my head.

'What elf? What did you do with me dinner?"

"Could you at least TRY to act civilized and NOT RAIN FOOD ON THOSE AROUND YOU while you eat? My crew mates have more manners than you!" I stood and stomped over to Legolas and plopped down next to him. Gimli continued to glare in my direction for a few minutes before going to get a new plate. Legolas just shook from contained laughter. I could hear the hobbits, Aragorn and Boromir snorting into their food and I really didn't care. Honestly. No matter how loud and undignified it sounded

"Here let me help, you have a piece of bacon, aha, in your hair." Legolas reached to grab it, I just smacked his hand away.

'Thanks, but no thanks buster." He snickered once more before changing the subject. Thank Eru.

After a rather uneventful night, we packed up the boats and set off again. praying there would be no more mishaps today, unlike yesterday. Boy how unlucky we were.

Halfway through the day, Gimli's axe slipped and he ended up making a hole in our boat. Me and Legolas couldn't figure out what to do, until I decided to plug the hole with Gimli's beard. He unfortunately didn't like that idea. And tried to come free, but being as crafty as I am, I managed to get it stuck, and he couldn't remove it. Which leads to where we are now, me and Legolas can barely contain our laughter while Gimli is screeching about being stuck in a whole. Magnificent. Aragorn, just shook his head and continued to row. Then we passed the big ass statues of old men, and everyone fell into a silence or reverence, except me of course.

"Gimli, how's you're neck holding up?" I prodded him in the back of the head when he didn't answer. He was asleep. "Legolas, do you understand how he could fall asleep like that?" His neck was under his right leg, his left arm was hanging over the side, he had his back in a weird angle, and his left finger was up Legolas' nostril.

"I presume you think this is funny do you?' Legolas snapped, guess he heard my snort.

"oh no, I...had a fly up my nose! Duh. That's what that was." Snicker. 'What the hell was that for?" I whipped around to see Legolas raising his eyebrow at me, AFTER slapping me in the back of the head.

"What in the world are you talking about Esme?" he merely shrugged and continued to row.

"We stop here!" Aragorn started paddling to the shore. The hobbits bounded out, but the island didn't feel right to me.

"We cross the lake at nightfall hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north." I heard Aragorn say when our boat finally reached land. Me and Legolas decided to let Gimli lay for a little longer.

" Oh yes. Just a simple matter of passing the Emyn Muil, an impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks and after that it gets even better stinking marshlands far as the eye can see." Never mind then. The dwarf is awake.

"Yes, so go to bed old man." I shoved him sideways and he fell off the log he was sitting on. Man, talk about nnooooooooooo balance. "Any one seen where Legolas went off to?"

"_Amin sinome._" (I'm here.)

"ACK! You scared me!" I spun around to give him a look, to see him staring off in the distance. Intensely I might add. "_Lle tyava quel?"_ (Do you feel well?) I stepped towards him when he turned towards me, his face stricken with worry. Guess that's a no then. "_Mani naa ta?" _ (What is it?) He shook his head and walked by me towards Aragorn. The little snot, just who does he think he is? Beside a handsome price? Gah! Where did that come from! Two days without it, and now it's back. Sheesh.

"We should leave now." He whispered, hoping the hobbits wouldn't hear the plea in his voice.

"No, orcs patrol the eastern borders, we must wait for cover of darkness." Was the reply he got from the ranger.

"It is not the eastern shore that worries me a shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind something draws near. I can feel it."

"Me too Aragorn."

"Where's Frodo?" Merry had to pipe up into such an important conversation with such trivial information. I should pummel him. Wonder why Aragorn's looking at where, Boromir's, shield, is alone. OH SHIT! Boromir's with FRODO! We all jumped up to go search. Me and Legolas were sent together. The hobbits were to stay back and Aragorn went with Gimli. But he was too slow, so he tried to keep up with us.

"Damn that man and his stupid fascination with a ring. It's a little womanly for him don't you think." I practically shouted in frustration. Legolas just gave me ' You know why he wants it look'. Which frustrated me more.

"Wait. Do you hear that?" Legolas practically closed line me when he whipped his arm out to stop us, he did get Gimli though. Oh the fun we have.

"What...oh! Boromir's Horn!" I turned around and sprinted in what I hoped was the right direction. I could hear Gimli tearing down the forest as he followed. We ran for latest ten minutes before we finally came to clearing, in time to see Aragorn come hurtling into the fray. I whipped out my swords, an prepared to take the plunge when I heard Merry and Pippin screaming to the side. They had been captured by the Urak-hai. I headed towards them only to get close lined by some smelly hairy arm. It was enough to make me gag.

"Blech! Man! Get a shower!" I snapped pulling his nasty arm hairs off my face. 'You smell worse than the cabin after a bout of scurvy's gone through. Sheesh." The brainless thing just stared at me, so I ran him through with my blade. I tried to reach them quickly but more of those nasty beasties kept me from them, and I ended up losing them. I turned to tell them we must hurry after, but what I saw, brought tears to my eyes. And I never cry. Ever.

"They have the little ones?" Boromir whispered, the blood seeping down his lip. I nodded my head, not know what to say. He closed his eyes tightly and refocused them no Aragorn.

"Be still" said Aragorn reaching to take the arrows out of Boromir's chest and side.

"Frodo where is Frodo?" he asked, slapping Aragorn's hand away. Still feisty, even on his death bed. Didn't say that.

"I let him go." Replied Aragorn giving Bormir a very frustrated look.

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the ring from him."

"The ring is gone now." I replied, having seen Frodo run back to camp when I was chasing after Merry and Pippin. Sure, they drove me crazy at times, but I still loved them. But they never know that.

"Forgive me I did not see, I have failed you all." Boromir said glancing between me, Legolas and Gimli before turning back to Aragorn.

"No you fought bravely, you have kept your honor." Aragorn once again starting to reach for the arrows.

"Leave it, it is over. The race of men will fall and my city to ruin." He smacked his hand away again. I have a feeling that if Boromir weren't mortally wounded, Aragorn might just smack him back.

"I do not what strength is in my blood but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our people fail." Aragorn replied slowly blinking as to keep his temper at bay.

"Our people...our people. I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king." Boromir gave a faint smile before coughing, and finally resting his head one last time.

"Be at peace, Son of Gondor." Aragorn gave him a kiss on the forehead, and wiped the tears that I didn't even know were falling from my face, then wrapped me in a hug for who knows how long.

"Hurry Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore. " Legolas said removing things from the boats once we returned to the camp, after placing Boromir's body in a boat, and letting it drift down towers the rapids. He stared at Aragorn, who made to indication whether he had heard or not. "You mean not to follow them?"

"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands." Aragorn clasped Boromir's arm bands around his own.

"Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed." Gimli grumbled once he finally caught up with us. Ahaha, loser.

"No it hasn't stupid." I shut up once I received a glare form Aragorn.

"Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death not while we have strength left" Aragorn slammed a dagger into his boot, and continued to walk around the camp gathering supplies. "Leave all that can be spared behind. WE HUNT SOME ORC!"

Gimli: YAY WOO-HOO!

Legolas: Sadistic grin.

Esme: Frightened/confused sweat drop.

"ERU! The male species and their fighting fix!"

**Authors:**Wow, it's been a while. Hope you like it! Reviews por favor! Happy Late Turkey Day!


	16. Chapter 16

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note**: AHH! I'm so excited! We beat our team rivals last night, after they'd been talking all kinda trash about us, so I'm kinda ecstatic. Anyway, here's your weekly update! 

**Reviews:**

**TheLoneShe-Elf: **Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

**bubblymuggle4:** Woot! Your review made me feel all bubbly inside...right. THANK YOU!

**Hallows07:** AIIE! I'm glad you think so! thanks!

**Hikitsulover-818:** Suppose I shouldn't pick favorites, seeing as the whole story should be my favorite, but that was my favorite part! I don't believe I could have fit anymore 'favorites' into that sentence.

**CultureVulture: **Thanks for the review.

**Estry: **WOOT. THANKS!

**lettres d'amour: **Man! I knew they looked wrong, but I couldn't figure it out, and I didn't have my book. Plus, I'm too lazy to look that up! Thanks for telling me!

Chapter 16:HEY! You! With the really greasy hair!

Here's what I think. Running stinks. I don't believe I've ever run this much in my life. It's been run, run, run, run some more! Aragorn won't stop for anything. I mean I know I'm an elf, but EVEN ELVES GET TIRED! Except for Mister Mechanical Elf, Legolas, who never shows any emotion other than boredom, and maybe amusement, he's been running no problem for the past however long. we've been running so long I don't even know how long it's been. At least I'm fairing better than the dwarf, he's at least a mile behind us, but me and Legolas can still hear him breathing, occasionally I can hear a chuckle from Legolas. That makes me guffaw until Aragorn throws pebbles at me to shut me up. I have a bruise the size of middle earth on my left temple at the moment.

"ESME! WATCH O- Too late." I hear Legolas screaming for me to stop, but he wasn't fast enough, I just tripped over Aragorn who was laying on the ground with his ear placed against a rock.

"You know, it's a perfect time for you to take a rest without telling anyone you were stopping Aragorn my dear." I sat brushing my tunic off glaring at his head. My bruise just got bigger. Stupid pointy rocks, stupid pansy rangers. Stupid elves who like to snigger at things that don't happen to him. I just lobbed a rock at Legolas, it hit him in the back of the neck. "Thanks to your quick reflexes Legs, I tripped over a nonmoving ranger!"

"It's not my fault you're blind!" he said while rubbing the bump that was swelling on his neck. Oh payback feels good. We sat like this watching GImli finally come closer into view, until he finally caught up with us. Aragorn still hadn't moved.

"Their pace has quickened. They must have caught our scent. Hurry!" shouted Aragorn jumping up to run off, again.

"OH GOOD! we thought you might have died on us there buddy!" I said matching his pace, Legolas threw me a smart ass look, I smacked his forehead, Aragorn just shook his head at our antics and sped up.

"Come on, Gimli." Legolas looked quickly over his shoulder before turning around trying to contain his laughter. I will one day get him to laugh out loud like I do. I promise.

"Three days and nights pursuit. No food, no rest, and no sign our quarry, but what bare rock can tell." shouted Gimli from way behind.

"Yup that's right, take it like a man...er...dwarf. Maybe this will teach you to eat less, fatso!" I shouted turning to stick my tongue out at him. He took the bait. His stride quickened and I could hear him huffing harder, out of anger, and exhaustion. Legolas nearly tripped he was sniggering so hard.

"Stop toying with him, he will need all his energy." Aragorn is such a party pooper.

"Esme, are you quite alright?" whispered Legolas, trying to help me up after I fell.

"You, just stuck your tongue out. For the first time, EVER!" The reason I fell, Legolas actually lost his dignity for a minute, and stuck his tongue out at the back of Aragorn's head.

"Really. That's a ridiculous reason to fall." Legolas placed his hands on his hips, making him look like a girl. A rather, manly one. Which made laugh. "What is so funny now?"

"Ahh, nothing. Hurry let's cache up with Aragorn." Gimli still hadn't caught up with us. We ran for about another three miles before Aragorn stopped again. I ended up running into him when he bent over to pick something up, I really need to fix my breaks. Legolas almost cracked a rib laughing.

"Not idly do the leaves of Lorien fall." Aragorn was holding one of the hobbits brooches in his hand. Right at that moment Gimli came rolling down the hill behind us, I could hear him coming so turned just in time to witness it. It sent me into a fit of laughter. I could feel Aragorn glaring at the back of my head, I was doubled over laughing, Legolas on the other side of me doing the same. "ENOUGH!" Aragorn shouted, obviously having had enough of us being mean to Gimli.

"They may yet be alive." Man Legolas sobers up fast. I stared at him, he just gave me a shrug and turned back to Aragorn. I would call him a teachers pet, if Aragorn were a tutor.

"Less than a day ahead of us. Come." He jumped up, and away he ran. Arg.

"Come on Gimli, we're gaining on them!" I shouted once I started running again. Legolas had already shot off with Aragorn.

"I'm wasted on cross county. We dwarves are natural sprinters. Very dangerous over short distances." I'm glad Legolas was there to catch my fall, otherwise I don't believe I could have gotten up from that one. I can hardly get my legs to move I'm laughing so hard.

"Just keep running, just keep running, what do we do? We just keep running!" I sang under my breath.

"What in Eru's name are you whispering about?" Legolas asked glancing in my direction.

'A little running song...want to hear?" I sent him a big smile.

"No, not really." His face darkened, which made me ember the last song I sang to him. 'what are you sniggering about over there?"

'Ehhe, nothing, aha, Nothing at all." I turned my head away to hide my smile. "Look Aragorn's stopping." I ran atop the hill to stand beside him. All you could see in all directions was grass, hills, and rocks. what a wonderful view.

"Rohan. Home of the horse lords. There's something strange at work here. Some evil gives speed to these creatures. Sets its will against us." Aragorn stood a few seconds longer before setting off again, me and Legolas only a few steps behind. Legolas overtook us and ran a few spaces ahead before stopping and staring into the distance.

"Legolas! What do your elf eyes see?" Aragorn shouted before we caught up with the darned elf.

"The Uruks turn north-east. They're taking the hobbits to Isengard!" He replied glaring into the sun. You know, that could make a catchy song. I started to snigger thinking about Legolas singing my new song, Aragorn sent a quick glare into my direction before standing beside Legolas.

"Saruman." And we're off again.

"Keep breathing! That's the key. Breathe. Hoo." Did I mention Gimli was so loud, we could hear him while we were like five miles ahead of him?

"They run as if the very whips of their masters were behind them." we had been running, correction, sprinting, for at least five hours now, getting no near to those stupid creatures.

"It's cause those bitches are scared!" I shouted fake punching the air, almost tripping over a rock. I could practically hear Aragorn shaking his head at me. So I shook my fist.

So, we've officially been running, forever. The sun has set and is rising once again. I even heard Legolas complain last night about stupid men. Or maybe that was just my imagination.

" A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night." Legolas looked solemnly at Aragorn who in turn, quickened his pace.

"Didn't I already tell you once, you could never be a poet Legs? just stop while you're ahead." He glared, I smiled. I don't know whether it was because of his nickname, or he didn't like my comment about his imagery. "Oomph." The part jerked my behind some rocks, making me fight. '"LEGOLAS! I DIDN'T REALLY MEAN IT! YOU'RE A WONDERFUL-" He'd slammed his hand over my mouth. Oh lord I'm gonna die, and Aragorn's never gonna know. Oh, never mind, Aragorn's right there shaking his head at me, Gimli's finally caught up.

'Esme, if you promise to be silent I will release. And please, don't lick me." I guess he caught the mischievous glint in my eye, he released my face like it was a hot iron.

"I promise. What's going on?"

"Riders of Rohan." Aragorn was glancing around the rock watching something into the distance. then I heard it. Thousands of hoof beats, meaning a bunch of riders were coming. Wow, I really am slow. Right as Aragorn was about to pop out in front, I jumped atop the rock we were hiding behind, Esme never hides.

'AVAST YE LAND LUBBERS! Who goes there! COME BACK AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN YE SCURVY DOGS!" Man, I love talking like that! I waved my sword around the air in front of me, the riders where already turning around when Legolas pulled my feet out from underneath me, causing me to fall and drop my sword. 'What the hell Legolas! I was having fun!"

"You could get yourself killed dumbass!' Man, he was pissed...Aragorn was glaring before stepping out into the open, I followed ignoring the glares Legolas was sending in my direction.

"Riders of Rohan! What news from the Mark?" questioned Aragorn looking around at the riders that surrounded us. I could still feel Legolas glaring at me.

"What business does an elf, an elf maiden, a man and a dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly!" that must be the head guy. He's got some ugly hair.

" Give me your name, horse master, and I shall give ya' mine."

"Have you ever washed your hair?" me and Gimli spoke at the same time. I could hear Legolas and Aragorn smack their palms to their foreheads Head honcho bristled. he jumped from his steed and stepped closer to me. I smiled, he didn't move, I blew a raspberry in his face, he blinked, and during his blink I jumped behind Legolas. He glared at Legolas before turning to Gimli.

" I would cut off your head, dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the ground." he said staring down at Gimli, who didn't even flinch. At the exact same time, I pointed my sword in his direction, and Legolas had an arrow out.

"You would die before your stroke fell." Legolas said disregarding the spears that had come closer to us after our moves. Aragorn pressed my sword down and pushed Legolas' bow out of his way.

" I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. This is Gimli, son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland Realm, and Esmeralda of the sea. We are friends of Rohan and of Theoden your king." I made to jump at the closest rider, making him flinch. I started to snigger before Aragorn silenced me with a glare.

"Theoden no longer recognizes friend from foe. Not even his own kin. Saruman has poisoned the mind of the king and claimed lordship over these lands. My company are those loyal to Rohan, and for that we are banished. The white wizard is cunning. He walks here and there, they say, as an old man hooded and cloaked. And everywhere his spies slip past our nets." Eomer replied, removing his helmet, making me wish he had kept it on. So maybe the hair on top of his helmet wasn't his, but the stuff that was, couldn't be any nastier, I think I just threw up some in my mouth.

"We are no spies. We track a pack of Uruk-Hai westward across the plain. They've taken two of our friends captive." Aragorn moved closer to Eomer, to hide the faces I was making I'm sure.

"The Uruks are destroyed. We slaughtered them during the night." Eomer said trying to peer behind Aragorn to see what I was doing, Aragorn kept matching his movement.

"But there were two hobbits. Did you see two hobbits with them?" Gimli shoved me out of the way, making me and Legolas fall, in order to get to the front.

"They would be small, only children to your eyes." Aragorn said, not even sparing at glance at me and Legolas tangled on the ground fighting to stand.

"They were annoying as mess too!" I shouted from the dog pile.

"We left none alive. We piled the carcasses and burned them." Eomer said staring at me and Legolas in amusement.

"YOU KILLED THEM!" I shouted running to grab his vest after finally getting free. The spears were there again. I sent him a smile, released his tunic, and patted it before backing up. Legolas was coughing to cover his laugh. So I kicked him in the back of the knee, still smiling. Aragorn let out an audible release of air.

"Dead?" was all Gimli asked before breaking down. Poor thing, if he wasn't so gross, I might give him a hug. Oh who cares. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, he sent me a watery smile in return.

" I am sorry." Eomer whistled, and three horses came trotting to him. Hasufel, Arod, Domeroch. May these horses bear you to better fortune than their former masters. Farewell. Look for your friends, but do not trust to hope. It has forsaken these lands. We ride north!" he mounted his horse, and him and his company rode off, leaving us standing around watching after them.

"Let's go you guys." I said walking over to the black mare, staring at me in apprehension. I supposed this one was Domeroch, Nightmare. A fitting name. I reached to pet her muzzle, and she snapped at me. I pulled my hand back a second, before trying again. She tried again. Now I wasn't gonna take this from a horse. I grabbed her nose with both hands and jerked her head to the side so I could see her eye. If horses could smirk. this one would be smirking at me. 'Now look here horse, I don't need any cheek or problems from you got it? I've been running for days if not weeks, and I'm going to ride you whether you like it or not!" I hadn't noticed the audience we'd attracted until I heard Legolas clear his throat. I turned to find them all sitting on their mounts. "Yes?"

"Are you ready to go yet?" Aragorn asked trying to hide his laughter.

"I believe so, yes." With that I jumped up on Domeroch, and set off.

The smell of the burning Uruks reached us before we reached it. It was putrid, like the smell of burning hair, or manure. Yech. I jumped off my steed scrunching my nose hoping to stop the smell. I watched Gimli flit through the pile, and saw him grab something.

"It's one of their wee belts!" He turned to face us, grief written all over his face. I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

"_Hiro hyn hidh ab 'wanath_." (May they find peace after death.) Legolas looked to the sky for a second before coming to wrap an arm around my shoulder. Aragorn kicked a helmet before falling to the ground yelling. I wonder if that was from pain or sadness? I was about to ask, but Legolas probably guessed what I was about to do and gave me a look. I turned to find Aragorn staring at the ground with a face of intense concentration.

"Did you lose something?" I asked walking over to him. He spared me a glance before shaking his head and continuing to scourge the ground with his eyes.

"A hobbit lay here." He touched the ground in front of him, how he was figuring this shit out I have no idea, all I could see was a patch of grass. Suppose that's why he's a ranger and I'm not. "They crawled. Their hands were bound." He was walking with his nose practically on the ground. I shared a look with Legolas, Gimli just stared like an idiot. "Their bonds were cut." He picked up a piece of rope before throwing it and continuing on his merry way. "They ran over here. They were followed." He ran to where he pointed and continued staring at the ground. "The tracks lead away from the battle... into Fangorn Forest." At last he stopped and faced into the forest.

"Is it just me, or are the trees groaning I asked?" Everyone ignored me.

"Fangorn. What madness drove them in there?" asked Gimli walking to stand beside Aragorn.

"Who knows...maybe the boogieman!" I shouted causing Gimli to jump and Aragorn and Legolas just to raise their eyebrows. 'THAT'S NO FAIR! You both can do it!"

We ended up walking into the woods anyway. Gimli decided he wanted to eat some unknown substance, which turned out to be Orc blood. I almost fell from laughing, but I didn't.

"These are strange tracks." said Aragorn staring at the ground, again.

"The air is so close in here." said Gimli acting like he couldn't breathe, idiot.

"This forest is old. Very old. Full of memory... and anger." Leave it to Legolas to bet he psychiatrist of the forest.

"Hey dumbie, lower your axe." I said prodding Gimli in the back with a stick I found. The trees were sounding kinda angry at the moment. It feels really creepy in here, I don't like it.

"_Aragorn, Nad no ennas!" _(There is something out there.) Legolas said staring into the foliage.

"_Man cenich?" _(What do you see?) Aragorn asked, turning to face behind us. I just looked ahead, not blinking. Something was indeed coming.

"The White Wizard approaches." Legoals replied facing us, with a weird kind of glint in his eyes. If we weren't in a dire situation I might have laughed. But that didn't stop me from chuckling, causing all of the others to stare in my direction. I raised my hands above my head in a signal of peace.

"Do not let him speak. He will put a spell on us." Aragorn pulled his sword out, Legolas had his hand resting on an arrow, and Gimli had his hand resting on an axe. I wonder how many he has? I just decided to wait until the perfect moment to pull my sword out. Strategy. Yeah.

Aragorn let out a yell and whipped around. Legolas let his arrow fly, it was rejected. I had to contain myself to not yell that out loud. Gimli's small axe was too, again, I had to bite my tongue. Aragorn dropped his sword as if it had burned him. Now was the time, I started to inch forward and placed my hand on the hilt of my sword.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Esme." the white blur of light said. I jumped back in surprise, Legolas turned to look at me, questioningly of course. I bet he thought I was gonna run away. I sent him a glare.

"You are tracking the footsteps of two young hobbits." The white wizard still didn't dim the lights.

"Hey look, wizardman, can you turn the high beams off? Not everyone down here wants to be blind at their current age." I said folding my arms across my chest. The other members of my group turned to face me with incredulous looks on their face. "What? Do you?" The wizard was chuckling.

'You haven't changed much have you my dear?"

"Hey, who are you calling "dear"? I don't even know you buddy. Stupid pedophile old man." I said glaring at the lights, that still hadn't dimmed, Aragorn smacked the back of my head, I turned to glare at him. He just stared ahead and started to speak.

" Where are they?" Aragorn took a step towards the white wizard, undaunted by the lights. Stupid, I''m gonna laugh when he goes permanently blind.

" They passed this way the day before yesterday. They met someone they did not expect. Does that comfort you?" This old man was getting cocky.

'Hell no, just tell us you old coot!" I yelled before Legolas slapped a hand over my mouth. The wizard laughed in return.

"Who are you? Show yourself." Aragorn squinted yet again into the light. In return the lights turned out. Finally. And want to know who stepped out? It was Gandalf.

Aragorn stood flabbergasted, stuttering about him falling, Gimli bowed, and Legolas kneeled, all were giving him looks of reverence. Want to know what I did?

"YOU OLD BAT!" I slapped him in the back of the head. "Why the hell did you scare us like that?!"

**Author's Note: **So there it is! Reviews por favor!


	17. Chapter 17

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note**: SURPRISE! Another update! I'm sick, so my mom isn't letting me do anything, so I decided to go ahead and write another chapter for you lucky readers!! Woot! Anyway, here it is!

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**bubblymuggle4**: I love you. Hands down. My face practically split thanks to the smile your review placed on my face! Ah, thank you!!!

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**Hallows 07**: Yeah, it was way exciting the whole team and the crowd piled out onto the court and ended up messing up the other team's guys warming up. It was great. Thanks for your review!

Chapter 17: Man, you are OLD!

So I don't think Gandalf took to my greeting as well as I planned. He ended up smacking me back, and we started scuffling. Until Aragorn pulled me back and made me lose my balance. Otherwise, Gandalf wouldn't have won like he did. Now we're sitting around listening to Gandalf's story of how he came back to life, I bet he made a deal with the stupid Balrog, asking him not to kill him and he'd bring him some water or something. That's kinda funny. Snicker. Ooops, they're all looking at me again, I'll just wave.

"What are you laughing about over there you insufferable elf?" questioned Gandalf, I guess he was angry at me for messing up his dramatic suspense filled, boring story about life and death. My bad.

"Your face."

"Now really, what is so funny about it?" Aragorn's glaring, Legolas is sniggering into a leaf at his side, Gimli's watching us like a play.

"Well, now that you asked,-"

'Esme..." Aragorn whispered through gritted teeth.

"Yes?"

"Do shut up."

"Why?"

"BE CAUSE I/we/he SAID SO!!" shouted the whole group, it was loud enough to make my hair stand up.

"Fine! No need to get your leggings in a knot. Eru. Continue with your dramatic death please Gandalf." He did just that while I sat and sulked. After what seemed like forever he finally stood, guess that means the stupid story is finally over. Now the idiots feigning confusion over his name. 'Do you need us to sew it into your cloak so every time you forget it, you can just look at your label?" Smack. Aragorn just whacked the back of my head, I turned and he was glaring like nothing I've ever seen before. I think he's been practicing.

"Do you have any manners?" he asked, still glaring.

'Yes, but I mean honestly, you don't see me walking around forgetting my name do you?"

"Surprisingly, no."

"If you want to keep your hair the length it is Legolas, you might keep your big trap shut." I heard him shuffle away from me, Aragorn just rolled his eyes and followed after Gandalf.

"One stage of your journey is over, another begins. War has come to Rohan. We must run to Edoras with all speed." Gandalf stood looking over the fields before whistling like he was calling for a dog. In the distance I could hear something coming. Sounded like a horse. So now he trains horses to act like dogs. Convenient. Into view came a white horse, followed very closely by a black one, Domeroch, and then Hasufel and Arod came following.

"That is one of the Mearas, unless my eyes are cheated by some spell." Legolas was watching in awe as the horse came closer, pansy.

" Shadowfax. He is the lord of all horses... and has been my friend through many dangers. " replied Gandalf, smiling at the horse, Shadowfax I presume.

"Look, don't you like the fact that your horse is trying to bite Gandalf's horse Esme?" asked Legolas, laughter written in his voice. But it was true. My black horse was on the white horse's heels trying diligently to bite him in the rear. I suppose they don't get along, kinda like me and Gandalf. "If you asked me, it looked as though their personalities clash, like that of your and Gandalf's."

'Wow, Legolas you really are a genius you know, I wonder where I would be without you here to help me figure these things out." I walked to my horse that had finally come to a stop in front of me. "Did you get him girl?" A nod. "EXCELLENT!" I did a little dance, with everyone watching, before I mounted and prepared to ride. Shadowfax made sure to stand as far away as possible. Good.

"Let's ride." shouted Gandalf before kicking Shadowfax to a start.

We'd been riding for a couple leagues when a town finally came into view. I didn't quite catch Gandalf stopping, and ended up ramming right into Shadowfax's arse. That didn't sit well with him, he reared and tried to shoot off. Aragorn just glared at me, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think he was in love with Gandalf, he's always glaring at me for insulting the wizard. I smiled and backed Domeroch up, secretly congratulating her for her job well done.

" Edoras, and the Golden Hall of Meduseld." I guess Gandalf's gotten his horse back under control, good for him. " There dwells Theoden, King of Rohan, whose mind is overthrown. Saruman's hold over King Theoden is now very strong." I wonder if he knows, no one cares. "Be careful what you say. Do not look for welcome here."

"What?" I said, noticing everyone's eyes were set on me. 'Why do I get the feeling you said that just because of me?" I got no answer, they just started to ride off again. "Fine then, don't answer!"

We rode for a few more hours before we finally reached Edoras, or whatever it's called. This woman was standing on the porch of the main building, staring us down. Guess they don't like visitors. I said this to Legolas, who choked back a laugh ,but Aragorn, who unfortunately heard me, glared. I told him that his face would stick like that, he threw a pebble at me. I still don't know where he got the rock, he must have stashes in his pockets just for that type of thing. Legolas laughed so I whacked him in the stomach, he almost fell off his horse. Needless to say, people stared at us. Did I mention they all looked depressed, like they all wanted to commit a mass suicide? Creepy. They were all wearing black, must be a uniform, I wonder if we'll get kicked out, we kinda missed the memo.

"You'll find more cheer in a graveyard." Gimli was making it very noticeable that he was staring. Sheesh, the nerve of the dwarf. Most would try to be kinda inconspicuous considering we don't live here, but NOOOOOO, let's just write on our faces 'WE DON'T BELONG HERE! NOR DO WE KNOW WHERE THIS IS! WOOT' Legolas said that wouldn't fit, so I hit him again. We finally got off those damned horses, I swear, I'm gonna be walking bow legged for the rest of my life because of this trip. We walked to the top of the stairs only to be stopped by guards. Gandalf made a noise of acknowledgement. Old coot, thinks he knows everyone. I bet no one likes him, snicker.

" I cannot allow you before Theoden King so armed, Gandalf Greyhame. By order of... Grima Wormtongue." The guard stuck his hand out to retrieve our weapons. It took at least thirty minutes just to get all of Aragorn's weapons, then Legolas', and finally Gimli's. The man turned to me and stared.

'What? You think they would actually give me weapons? Hah, you're crazier than they are!" I just scoffed and shook my head, unfortunately my cloak slipped and showed part of my scabbard. The man raised his eyebrows and pointed to it. 'Oh fine. You win. Take it." I practically threw my stuff at him, it hit him in the chest knocking the breath out of him, again, Aragorn glared. Legolas just shook his head and pushed me behind him, whether for my safety or the guard's I know not. said guard was rubbing his chest and facing Gandalf. The old man just stood and blinked.

" Your staff." The man pointed to Gandalf's stick like it was the most obvious thing, although it truly was. I pointed this out to Gandalf, who in return whacked me in the back of the knee with it. I said that just proved the guards point, he whacked me again. I screamed assault, Legolas covered my mouth with his hand and sent the guard a big smile. Man, good thing the guard was a man, otherwise I think he might have fainted, I know I would've if I'd been in that position.

"Hm. Oh! You would not part an old man from his walking stick?" was all Gandalf asked, taking on one of those "I'm a cute old man! Take pity on me!' kinda looks, it worked. I shot a withering look at the guard. Way to stand your ground! I caught the wink Gandalf threw at Aragorn, before he so inconspicuously, leaned on Legolas' arm, really now. He wasn't riding with someone to make sure he didn't fall off, and he wasn't walking like that before we got to the top. Who in their right mind was gonna fall for that? I guess the guards were, they just let us right on in. The first thing I notice when we walk in is this old, when I say that I mean ANCIENT old man on a throne, and on his side was this thing. You couldn't really consider it a human I mean, I've seen some pale people, but, he was transparent. And nasty, like he hadn't ever heard of the word bath, or didn't even now water and sop existed.

"Hey you, thing on the ground? Do you know what water is?" I asked grimacing, closing my nose so as to stop the smell that is sure to accompany such a foul thing. Legolas smacked his forehead, Aragorn gave me a look, and Gandalf merely sighed. Gimli was too enraptured by the gold on the columns to notice the difference. "I mean really, I've been running and riding for the past like month and I'm still cleaner than you? Do you need someone to show the proper bathing technique?" The thing just glared at me. Before whispering in the old man's ear. 'HEY! SECRETS DON'T MAKE FRIENDS YOU KNOW!" I shouted pointing accusingly at the Walking Dirt Mound. He swore and glared some more. Gandalf finally sent me a look before walking forward from the group.

" My lord, Gandalf the Grey is coming. He's a herald of woe." said the stinking filthy thing wallowing in his own dirt. Yech. Nasty little blighter. He even talks funny, oh well, that'll keep me occupied. I just made one of the guards snort with laughter by mimicking him, the things glaring at me again. I made a dumb face, he turned back to Gandalf.

"The courtesy of your hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King." Gandalf took another step forward, it wasn't until then that I saw the guards circling the room. I nudged Legolas who merely raised his eyebrow at me. Stupid all knowing elf.

"He is not welcome." The thing whispered into the king's ear.

"You're not welcome, betch." I said snapping my fingers, Legolas had to restrain himself from not laughing right then and there. The thing glared again. Gandalf had to close his eyes, and count to ten I suppose, Aragorn was too occupied following the moves of the people on the wall. Gimli, you know, I couldn't tell you watt he was doing.

"Why should I welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?" The man that was turning to dust right before our eye's spoke!

"ALAS! You're not dead!" I shouted raising my hands as if to praise the Valor. Legolas snorted once more, everyone else turned to look at me with a curious expression on their face. Except for Gandalf he just walked forward and rolled his eyes.

"A just question my liege. Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear. Lathspell I name you. Ill-news is an ill guest." the Grimy thing said.

"Well I name you Nasty!" I said from behind my shelter, Legolas. I didn't want that thing to touch me, I might get cooties.

"Be silent! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth. I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm." shouted Gandalf glaring at me and Nasty. I don't know if he meant for me to shut up, or Nasty. We both obliged. I mock bowed giving him the floor once more. Nasty took that moment to eye up Gandalf's stick, err, staff I meant.

" His staff. I told you to take the wizard's staff!" he started inching towards the door, Legolas cut him off, leaving me in the open. The lackey's started to attack us. I was trying to get away and ended up slapping one, I really didn't mean to. Then I ended up tripping over one of the ones Aragorn knocked out. Errgh...they smell bad.

"You guys! This is really gross!" I picked my self up from the floor and ended up tripping one guy, making him knock his head on a column. Oops. Legolas is looking at me like I'm crazy. "What? Just because you don't have to try to stay clean doesn't mean other people don't!" I stuck my arms out to make my point, and closed line some guy. Man, I'm just not having a good day. Gandalf was walking towards the old guy on the throne with his staff pointed straight at his heart.

Theoden! Son of Thengel. Too long have you sat in the shadows."

"Gimli, Grima! he's getting away!" shouted Aragorn pointing at me. I pointed at myself too, questioning his sanity, then I felt the nasty but his hands on my arm. Talk about chills.

"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRIMYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!" I jumped and landed on his foot, and then ended up kicking him in the family jewels, talk about nasty. I ran away leaving him convulsing on the floor, while I hugged myself in a corner. Legolas just sniggered at me, and Gimli stepped on Grima's chest. Man, I'd hate having that thing on me, he might break some ribs.

" Hearken to me. I release you... from this spell." Gandalf was still walking toward the old man, who in turn started laughing, a really creepy sounding laugh.

"You have no power here... Gandalf the Grey!" The old man starts coughing, while still laughing. Gandalf throws off his gray cloak, showing his bright new white robes. That almost blinded me again.

"GANDALF! what did I say about the lights? Exnay on the lightsnay!" I shouted covering my eyes with my arm. I don't know if he heeded my request or not, all I heard was Legolas laughing, and I could feel the prickle between my shoulder blades where Aragorn was glaring. Scary, I know.

" I will draw you, Saruman, as poison is drawn from a wound." Theoden starts coughing and groaning, like he was finally kicking the bucket. I removed my arm in time to see that woman who we saw when we first rode in, trying to run towards him. Aragorn stuck his arm out and cut her off. She glared. Aragorn merely raised his eyebrow. I laughed. People stared.

"If I go, Theoden dies." shouted, Theoden.

"Well, see that would make sense, seeing as you are Theoden." I pointed out crossing my arms. Gandalf threw me a disgusted look, before continuing to try to gauge Theoden's heart out with his staff.

"You did not kill me. You will not kill him."

"Why is it I'm the only who is confused by this?" I asked looking between Gimli and Legolas, they merely shrugged and turned back to the action.

"Rohan is mine!" yelled Theoden from amidst his hacking cough.

"Well duh! I mean you are the king and everything!" How much more obvious do you have to be. Aragorn sent me one of those "Are you really this stupid? OR are you acting?" looks. I glared back.

" Be gone! HA!" with one last thrust of his staff Gandalf, I guess freed the king, from himself? I confused. Aragorn let the woman run towards Theoden who was about to fall out of his chair. The wrinkles started disappearing and Theoden started getting younger right then and there. I stared at him, unblinkingly, so as not to miss this. I've never seen this, I wonder if it's real? I started to walk forwards with my finger out stretched to poke it but Legolas grabbed me and kept me still. Damn.

" I know your face. Eowyn. Eowyn." Theoden sat stroking her face, while she cried. Pansy. "Gandalf?"

"Breathe the free air again, my friend." Gandalf said smiling at Theoden. In a weird kinda way. I stuck my tongue out in disgust.

"Dark have been my dreams of late." replied Theoden, standing, almost falling, until Eowyn came to help him get his balance.

"Your fingers would remember their old strength better, if they grasped your sword." Gandalf looked knowingly to the side of the room where the guard form earlier was walking in carrying a sheath. Theoden removed his sword, and quickly scanned the room, his eyes landing on Grima. He started to walk towards him. Excellent, ridding the world of one nasty beastie at a time! Theoden grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and drug him out onto the stairs, and threw him down. Grima started to snivel and grope at the hem of Theoden's robes.

" I've only ever served you, my lord." Grima gave a pleading look up at Theoden before shrinking away.

" Your leech craft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" I pointed out if he had fallen he would have had to crawl, Legolas smacked his hand over my face and smiled at Theoden, bidding him continue his tirade.

"Send me not from your side." Grime groveled some more. Disgusting. I would get out here and spit shine these stairs if I were them. Theoden lifted his sword to kill Grima, only to have Aragorn run forward, and stop him, being heroic, as usual. I think everyone's hearts just sank a little.

" No, my lord! No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilt on his account." Aragorn bent down to lend a hand to help Grima up, he just spit on his hand and ran off. I tried to run after him to kick his arse, but Legolas kept his hold on my arm.

"Hail Theoden King!" shouted some bystander, and all bowed as one. Minus me, I forgot, until Gimli pulled my hair making me bend in pain.

"WHAT THE HELL DWARF! Just cause my hair is better than yours **does** **not** mean you have to tear it out!'

**Author's Note" **Hope you enjoyed! Let me know!


	18. Chapter 18

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Hello there! I'm updating while I'm sick, again. I can't stand it. I didn't get to play in my game last night and then I woke up this morning I felt even worse. So that brings me to where I am now! Writing my favorite story ever! YAY! Anyway...here you go!

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4**: Ew...no I didn't know that. That's, disgusting, if not slightly disturbing. Yech. Anyway, thanks, I did get better, for a day. But yeah, it's all good. Thanks for the review.

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Chapter 18: Hoozah!

Right now we're in some stupid dining hall, where the Lady "I'm so in love scratch that in obsessive compulsive love of Aragorn even though he shows absolutely no interest in me because he is taken" is fawning over some poor kid that just wants to eat some soup, that looks suspiciously like chunks of fat. Word of the wise, watch out for Meduseld cooking, it's rank. But back to the kid, he's killing that soup, which makes me wonder what the food at his home was like, actually, I'm not gonna go there, rather not start gagging just yet.

"They had no warning. They were unarmed. Now the wild men are moving through the Westfold, burning as they go -- rick, cot and tree." madam "Enraptured with a Ranger" stated, walking away from the kid, who visibly deflated with the release of the breathe he was holding, I guess from trying to not tell her to leave him alone. I snickered causing everyone to look at me, even "Mistress of Obsession". I bet she evens has a shrine for Aragorn, that she made when she first saw us riding in. Wouldn't surprise me. I told this to Legolas who practically coughed up a lung trying to cover his laughter, more staring, more innocent smile from the race of elves.

"Where is Mama?" asked the other kid, whose name sounded suspiciously like Fried. If you said it fast enough, her mom must have been, uhuhm, under the 'weather' when she named her.

"Shhh." whispered the "Women who doesn't mind Affairs". I think she just gave the poor kid an unwanted shower of spit. Poor darling. I passed her a napkin as soon as Eowyn turned away. She nodded her thanks and proceeded to wipe all the residue off her face.

"This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent for he is driven mad by fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from your women and children. You must fight!" Gandalf said from the mini throne beside Theoden, I bet he wishes he could just knock Theoden out of the real one and take over. In fact I know that's what he wants to do, he's just waiting for the perfect moment. I hope I'm here to see the old men scuffle over a wooden seat, and then I will just walk over and sit down in it until he figure out I've taken it from their grimy grasps, mwuahahaha. Erm, guess I laughed out loud. Smile and back away that's what I'll do.

"You have two thousand good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their King." added Aragorn sending a wary look in my direction, I stick my tongue out at him, MIss "I love you sir Aragorn with a burning passion even though I just met you!" stood watching with horror at the fact that I just made a face at her precious idol.

" They will be three hundred leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us. I know what it is you want of me. But I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war." Theoden replied, and I swear he was looking Gandalf up and down as if to size up his competition. Good lord, what is this world coming to , fighting over seats sheesh.

"Well, I don't think you'll have to make that decision for yourself." I stated from my current position, checking my fingernails while leaning against a column beside Gimli who was stuffing his face.

"WHAT HELL LEGOLAS!" I shouted standing and brushing my tunic off. Which reminds me, I wonder when I can get out of these dreaded clothes?

"Sssssshhhh, I'll tell you later!" whispered Legolas giving a smile to Theoden who was glaring daggers in our direction. Gandalf was just whistling to himself while Aragorn hand his face covered with his hand. Gimli continued to down as much food as he could get his grubby little paws on. I'm starting to think that's all he knows how to do. eat, smoke, kill, eat some more, snore.

'"Carry on." I replied mock bowing before returning to my place against the column.

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not." Aragorn finally spoke up staring at Theoden with fierce pride in his eyes. Go get 'em tiger!

"When last I looked, Theoden, not Aragorn, was King of Rohan." snarled Theoden glaring at Aragorn with so much hatred I'm surprised his stubble didn't melt.

"Hey now there mister!" I said standing and pointing an accusing finger at Theoden, Gandalf was giving me a shut up look, and for the first time, I ignored it. "There is no need to get snippy! It's not like Aragorn wants to rule you're grimy little town on a hill south of NOWHERE! If anyone one wants it it's Gandalf, so jump down his throat, not Aragorn's, _rangwa_?" (Understood?)

"I KNEW IT!" shouted Theoden before turning on Gandalf who had a WAY too innocent look on his face." I KNEW YOU WERE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT TO TAKE MY THRONE FROM ME!"

"You're correct." Everyone's mouth dropped, including Theoden's, when Gandalf just up and admitted to trying to commit treason. "You're correct, it is a finely crafted chair I wouldn't mind reclining in it, in front of a fire." We all fell over sideways. Who knew Gandalf had a sense of humor. I ran to Gandalf and shook his hand for outstanding wit. He smirked and returned his attention back tot Theoden who was breathing hard and red in the face. "No, I do not wish to govern over you, what did Esme call it? Oh yes, Grimy little town, south of Nowhere." He continued to smirk while Theoden was blowing air in out like a fish. "Now back to business, what is the king's decision?"

When we excited the main hall we could see all of the villagers packing and preparing to leave, where too I'll never know.

" By order of the king, the city must empty. We make for the refuge of Helm's Deep. Do not burden yourself with treasures; take only what provisions you need." shouted the guard we first met, I believe his name is Pork, or Ham, something pig related. But I believe I just got my answer as to where they were going Helms Deep, whatever that is.

" Helm's Deep! They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their king?" shouted Gimli from the back of the pack, including Legolas, Gandalf, Aragorn and myself.

" He is only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past." replied Aragorn grimacing, guess he really doesn't' believe that.

"So, what exactly is this Helm's Deep, cause to me, it doesn't sound that great. I mean if you can replace one letter in a name and make it read 'Hell's Deep', it doesn't sound like safe bet to me." Legolas chuckled, but I suppose he was the only one who heard me, Gandalf was too busy explaining how they were all going to die because there was no way out of the Deep.

"...Theoden has a strong will, but I fear for him. I fear for the survival of Rohan. He will need you before the end, Aragorn. The people of Rohan will need you. The defenses have to hold." He stopped walking to turn and look at Aragorn, from where I was standing, it looked like he was leering, which is slightly disturbing, so I kicker the wall to break there little, "intimate moment" up. "Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east." with that he jumped up on Shadowfax ad rode off.

"What now chief?" I asked scaring the shit out of some horseman by poking him in the butt with a pitchfork. Aragorn jerked the thing from my hand and shook hi head before walking back out of the stables. We walked back up to the Golden hall, if that's what they call it. "Lady in line for some long ass waiting" was practicing with her sword. To me it looked like she was trying to perform a ballet of some sort to impress the one and only lust in her life, Aragorn. Legolas and myself had to step out side to release our pent up laughter at her idolatry or sorts. We stepped back in and hid behind on of the many thousands of tables in the hall, to see Aragorn conversing with her himself. She looked as though she was going to melt away right then and there.

"What do you fear my lady?" Aragorn asked stowing his dagger back away in one of those thousands of pockets he seems to have in that outfit he never gets out of. No wonder he smells bad.

"I bet its the thought of Aragorn never finding out how much she truly, deeply, frighteningly, obsessively loves him with all her body, mind, and soul." I said acting as though the mere thought was painful for me. Legolas ended up snorting in a very un prince like manner. Drawing attention to our hiding spot, we shot off just in time, or else we would have been caught by Aragorn himself.

"A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them. And all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire" she replied staring around his shoulder, meaning she was practically climbing up his rather tall frame to see over it.

"I bet she's cherishing this touch in her mind for ever." Legolas whispered, causing me to stare at him in shock." What?"

"that is the first time I've ever heard you say something remotely dirty in all my time of knowing you." I replied shock still.

"Well, you learn something knew everyday don't you?" he replied before returning back to the show. It seemed Aragorn had realized what she was doing and turned back around forcing her to back off.

"You are a daughter of kings, a shieldmaiden of Rohan. I do not think that will be your fate." Aragorn replied before turning to walk away. I was silently screaming for him not to encourage her like that, Legolas merely shock his head at my antics before he too walked away. I allowed Legolas to walk out first, his hair all disheveled from hitting it on the table when he first tried to climb under, and then I followed not long after, my hair in the same condition. Needless to say we got some strange looks from some of the people running around to get ready for their departure. I don't think Legolas knew why the were laughing, and I have not the heart to tell him, just yet any way.

Who knew even dwarves liked to flirt. I surely didn't, until today that is. Right now, Gimli is flirting with the "Woman with eyes only for Aragorn"

" It's true, you don't see many dwarf women. In fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they're often mistaken for dwarf men." Gimli said, still trying to keep his balance on the horse twice his size. Me and Legolas were sitting a few horse behind watching him having random fits of laughter.

"It's the beards" Aragorn made a gesture as if he had a beard making Lady Lustful smile. I took a leaf out of his book and threw a pebble at him, accidentally missed and hit Eowyn in the back of the head. I wasn't really that disappointed by it.

"And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no dwarf women. And that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground." continued Gimli, not realizing what a fool he was making himself look like. I even almost fell off my horse from laughing, if Legolas hadn't been there to catch me of course. Just then Gimli's horse shot out from underneath him and the poor dwarf fell right on his rump. I had to stop my horse so I could laugh without the danger of falling off my horse, I could hear Legolas guffawing along side of me, we ended up leaning against each other to stay stable. "It's all right. It's all right. Nobody panic. It was deliberate. It was deliberate." He said standing and trying to reclaim his dignity. Which he would never get from me. I finally caught my breath and decided to star my torture now.

"Gimli! would you like me to fetch you a pony? A little short, pink one?"

I received a pebble in the face.

**Author's Note: **This is kinda short I know, but I wanted to have the wargs in the next chapter! So what do you think? Let me know!


	19. Chapter 19

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Hello hello hello my lovely fan-fic readers/ writers/etc! How are you? Can you tell I'm in a very good mood? Well, last night we beat, for the first time ever, the conference champs (they've been champs for the past five or six years) and we ended their undefeated 7-0 streak. It was amazing! So I'm still way excited about that! Woot! Anyway, enough about me! On to the story, what you've all really come here to read anyway...

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4: **Thanks for your review! And our psychic powers.

**Hikitsulover-818: **Ahah, thanks!

**Hallows07**: Man, I'd say I was sorry for getting you sick, but, that's not the case here! Nor is it possible since I only know you through the computer. Right. Get better soon! If you aren't already... Yeah I loved that part too! Ahah that's how my family consider me, crazy, and hazardous to health.

Chapter 19: Whoa, I want one.

Aragorn has been sitting as still as stone the past I don't know, EVER. And Eowyn's practically killed herself trying to get him to answer her question. But, he's just been staring off into space, fingering that little necklace of his. I asked Legolas about it and what made it so important, the poor elf gasped so loud his horse almost bucked him off. Then he went into some rant about how it was connected to Arwen, and that's about were he lost me. He's still talking about it. I really don't care though. I've been balling up things of grass and throwing them at villagers we passed. And if you're wondering how I managed to get the grass, I collected it before we left Edoras. Yes, I collected grass. Deal with it. As I was saying, I balled up a great hand full of grass and was preparing to launch it at Aragorn's head when he popped out of his trance. Damn, there went my chance.

"Where is she? The woman who gave you that jewel?" Eowyn got this creepy look on her face, it was like a mix between about to cry, wanting vengeance, and the big urge to murder someone. Yeah, it wasn't pretty.

"Up you're AS-" Legolas must like me licking his hands, he keeps placing them on my face. So I did. Before throwing the grass at Aragorn. Who stayed in the trance and didn't move.

"My Lord?" Gah. She's so persistent, if I was Aragorn I'd back hand her and be like 'SHE'S PRETTIER THAN YOU SO SHUT UP!"

"She is sailing to the Undying Lands with all that is left of her kin." He said quietly, almost like he wanted it to be like he was having a vision of some sort. But I know better than that. I turned to throw the last handful of grass at Legolas, only to see him jump off his horse and run to the top of some hill. He's taking my stance! I don't think so. I jumped off to follow him, but Aragorn stopped me with a questioning look, I just shrugged and went by him. Half way there I was passed by Ham and another guard, and seconds after they passed Legolas I heard a scream of pain, and then a twang of a bow. The other guy, not sure of his name, came riding back over the hill and rode back towards the group following us. I ran towards Legolas to see him standing over something hideous. And smelly.

'What the hell is that?" I asked plugging my nose and pointing my finger at the carcass he was standing upon.

"A warg, well it's rider more like it."

"What's that?"

'That thing over there." I followed the direction he pointed and saw something that looked like a dog mated with some lion. In a way it was, kind of, okay looking. Ok never mind it was just as ugly. I turned back to Legolas, who was once again taking my stance atop the hill watching the other wargs coming. I ran up and knocked him over.

'I believe, I am the captain." He snickered before knocking me rolling back down the hill. I could hear Aragorn screaming at us about it not being the time for rolling down hills as a past time. We both started laughing. Until we noticed how much closer the riders were. Legolas the ever amazing loser, whipped out his bow and started shooting arrows left and right until he felt Arod ride up behind him. He did some fancy 'I'm a the hero woot' kind mount before leaving me behind. My horse merely ran by me, nickering as it went. Dumb animal.

"HEY! YOU! STOP!!" I shouted chasing after it, I got some strange looks needless to say, from warriors and warg riders. Then they started attacking me too. That's when my horse decided to stop running like an idiot. I could see Legolas laughing and pointing in between shooting. I stuck my tongue out at him, almost getting it chopped off. Till I cut the buggers arm off.

'Stupid horse, can't believe I got stuck with you...' I grumbled fighting to catch up with Legolas and Arod. I saw Gimli fall off his horse, again, And started laughing, again. Gimli glared in my direction before he noticed some lone warg stalking towards him. The weird ass dwarf was cooing to his axe, or the warg. Either way it was creepy. And disturbing. Legolas rode up behind Gimli during his little wooing session and shot the beast, making Gimli grumbled about some stupid score they were keeping. I told you, males and their fighting fix. Now Gimli's stuck underneath another warg, maybe I should go help him, especially now that the stupid riders crawling on top of the warg to kill Gimli. Who just snaps the things neck, before, sniffing it? Who the hell smells an orc? Honestly? I was staring at Gimli so hard I nearly got my head chopped off by Aragorn's greasy hair when he rode by. Yeah, it's that disgusting. Oops, now another warg is stepping on top of the ever growing dog pile on Gimli. He is quite the entertainer to watch. Luck just isn't on Gimli's side, Aragorn just threw a spear and killed the thing, but now it's stuck on top of Gimli, meaning he can't move. Good thing my horse is here or I might not have been able to stand while laughing. You know what else I think is funny? These stupid things are sexist, not one has attacked me, maybe if I put a helmet on...

"Esme...what are you doing?" Damn. I was caught by that pesky elf. I was about to steal a helmet off someone else and ride into the fray.

"Errrr...nothing Legolas. What made you think I was doing anything?" Smile. Stare. Smile. Glare. Slide away from elf, start running in opposite direction.

So the battle was finally winding down, and guess what! I actually got to kill two, on my own that is. Legolas pretty boy stole all the one's I was going for, until I snuck in behind him for the ones he missed. Mwuauahaha...I'm a genius. Oops… too loud. Gimli's just hacking away at some already dead warg. Freaking weirdo.

"Aragorn?" it was only until Legolas starting calling his name did I realize Aragorn was indeed missing.

"Hey Grease Boy! Where are youuuuuu????" I shouted searching some of the fallen horses around us, no Aragorn.

"Aragorn!" grunted Gimli, doing the same. Then I guess he worked hard cause all I could hear was some major wheezing.

'Hey Gimli, you might want to take it easy, I mean I know you're worried about Aragorn but I don't think he'd want you to die trying I mean, really be sensible." I said giving him a soothing look, he huffed and puffed before pointing to the thing lying on the ground. Laughing. "Right-o." Legolas was shaking with silent laughter, Gimli shook his head and turned back to the laughing thing.

"Tell me what happened and I will ease your passing." Gimli held his axe threateningly over the orc's head. I know I would fess up right fast if I were him. I stared menacingly over Gimli's shoulder. It didn't quite work as well on the orc as it did the hobbits. Gimli turned his head to glare up at me. "Do you mind lass? I don't appreciate you standing behind me." Legolas coughed to cover a snort.

'Yeah yeah sorry, continue." I backed up a little, he faced forward, I moved back behind him. He turned back around. 'Oh, did you mean now?" He nodded. 'Right gotcha." I left, man I love irritating that dwarf.

"He's... COUGH..."

"Urg, can we get him something to cover his mouth with?: I don't want anything brave enough to infect that ugly ass beast!" I said grimacing. Everyone turned an gave me a look, I mean, even the orc gave me a look. That's when you know you've said something stupid. Prize goes to me.

"Dead. He took a little tumble off the cliff." continued the orc eyeing me the whole time to see if I would interrupt. Legolas beat me to the punch and jumped the damn thing before I could get there.

"YOU LIE!" he shouted jerking the orc up by his vest. He just kept laughing. Then I noticed the little necklace in his hand. I reached for it, and handed it to Legolas, right as the thing gave a final chortle and kicked the bucket. Legolas looked at me before taking the necklace and walking to join Thoeden by the cliff. Gimli and Legolas both peered over the side as if to see if they could find him.

"Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead." Theoden said, placing a hand on Legolas' shoulder when his head shot up in shock. "Come." I walked up to Legolas and gave wrapped my arms around his waist from behind.

"_Amin hiraetha"_ (I'm sorry.) He merely glanced down at me with those saddened eyes before staring back over the edge of the cliff.

Eowyn met us at the entrance when we finally reached Helms Deep. The trip there had been a somber one, Legolas stared blankly into the distance, only listening when Theoden asked a question. Me and Gimli actually shared a quite decent conversation if you can believe it or not.

"So few. So few of you have returned." She was looking intently through the crowd and I knew just who she was looking for, so of course I had to butt in and make things difficult.

"Whatcha looking at?" I leaned over the side of my horse, I had yet to get off, and leered.

"Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives. " Theoden was helping an injured rider off his horse and couldn't tell how distraught his own niece was. Shame shame.

" Lord Aragorn. Where is he?" She stared straight into my eyes, tears already about to fall. Gimli thinking I would be a jerk ran forward. I wonder what ever would give him that idea?

"He fell." The water works were flowing. I looked back to find Legolas, but he wasn't anywhere to be found. Sneaky little elves...errrrr...anyway.

I searched the ravine from top to bottom and finally found Legolas leaning against the deeping wall staring into the sunset.

"_Sut naa lle umien?"_ (How are you doing?) He didn't jump so at least I know he knew I was already there.

"_Tereva_" (Fine.) He replied curtly not even looking in my direction. Well, he didn't have to be that mean when he said it.

"_Lle uumlamya 'tereva'._ (You don't sound fine.) I crossed my arms waiting for his reply, you know what he did? Just walked away. "_Tereva! Auta miqula orqu!" _(Fine! Go kiss an orc!) I stalked back into Helms Deep.

"He's alive!" Next time someone yells that, I will knock them off the wall. They've been screaming that for about ten minutes now. I mean obviously someone's not dead. We get it honestly. Gimli just bowled me over running to where the guys was screaming. He must have hit his boiling point this time, I suppose I have more will power than him. I'll just follow to see what the dwarf does.

"Where is he? Where is he? Get out of the way! I'm gonna kill him!" He was shoving people left and right trying to push through to the front, all I had to do was glare and they moved.

"Gimli! Who are you talking about?" I said following at a safe distance so I didn't become the receiver of all the villagers return fire, meant for Gimli of course. I was too busy dodging to notice him stopping and ended up tripping over him. Yes over, he is short you know. "What the hell-o!" I caught glance of the same raggedy old shoes I'd seen thousands of times before. And I glanced slightly upward and saw the same ratty old cloak and pants. "AND THERE'S THE SAME RAGGEDY OLD FACE!" I jumped on Aragorn knocking him backwards, before I remembered how angry I should be at him. "_Sut very lle, Utinu en lokirim!" _(How dare you, you son of snakes!) I bopped him over the head while he sat and laughed at my indignation. So I hit him again. Until Gimli dragged me away so he could talk to him.

"Esme, you hit like a girl." Aragorn said smiling in my direction. Gimli rolled his eyes, he knew where this was going.

"_Uma, eithel, Llie n'vanima ar' lle atara lanneina! Ar'dolle naa lost" _(Yeah, well, you're ugly and your mother dresses you funny! And your head is empty!)" I smirked at him, only to see him in the midst of full fledge guffawing. He was leaning against the nearest stone column holding his sides laughing away. "Excuse me!" I stomped my foot finally getting his attention. He looked at me for a few minutes, wiping away tears of mirth at my expense, before capturing me in an unexpected bear hug. "ERRGGGGG! Can't. Breathe."

"_Oio naa elealla alasse'_" (Ever is thy sight a joy). He said when he finally placed me on the ground, leave it to him to be mushy. I just smiled and waved him off. Gimli tackled him again.

"You are the luckiest, the canniest and the most reckless man I ever knew. Bless you, laddie." And then Gimli gave him a hug. Yes the dwarf gave the human a hug. For the first time...I don't know… ever! I never thought I would see a day when Gimli showed he had that emotion called love. Aragorn finally got free of the dwarf's grasp looking the same way I felt. Surprised.

"Where is the King?" Gimli merely nodded his head in the direction of the king. Oh so he could give some one a hug, but not real directions? What a noob. I decided to follow him just to see what was going on. Half way there we ran into Elf boy. Silent, docile, and boring, like a rock. Ok, I lied he's not all of those.

"_Le ab-dollen_" (You're late.) Legolas said, making me and Aragorn glare at him, obviously he didn't pay me any heed. "You look terrible." Aragorn grinned like a mad man before Legolas hands him the necklace of his love. I heard a swish of skirts and turned in time to see Eowyn stopping not to far away, she's seen the necklace and knows she can't move in now. I did a victory dance drawing everyone's attention on me.

"Erm, right well, to the king!" I walked right past Legolas without even looking at him, the Orc kisser.

Understand this, yes, I love dramatic irony, dramatic tension, and dramatic entrances but Aragorn, loves them far more than I do. For instance, when we reached Theoden's chamber, he didn't just push threw the doors, he THREW the doors open, and stood still so everyone could get a good look at who was entering. I was in the background, speechless with confusion, I mean, I'm not even that bad when it comes to drama! I only snapped out of my stupor when King for the Day bumped my elbow while he walked by. Didn't even say sorry mind you. I followed behind Legolas, throwing dirty looks in his direction, every now and then he would flinch which signified he felt them.

"A great host you say?" Theoden was pacing around his study wondering how to deal the huge army that was marching in our direction as we sat and had a little chat.

"All Isengard is emptied." Aragorn replied watching Theoden pace.

"How many?" Really now, you've got to be kidding me, even Gimli's not that stupid. I never said that.

"Oh I don't know, two or three at most." I said from the seat beside Aragorn. I was leaning back, so he took advantage of that and kicked the back legs out. I sat straight up smiling after the chair hit the floor, I know I'll have a bump there for a while. Blonde boy had the nerve to snicker, so I threw a grape at him, and hit him in the temple, so it was my turn to laugh.

"I'm the king Esmeralda, you would do well with respecting that." Theoden said, continuing to pace.

"_Lle naa haran e' nausalle"_ (You're king in your imagination) I grumbled under my breath. "Of course your honor. I apologize." I mock bowed while Aragorn rolled his eyes at my antics, and Legolas giggled. Yes, giggled.

'Ten thousand strong at least." Aragorn tried to keep a straight face while continuing the past conversation.

"Ten thousand?" I had to stop my self from making a rude comment, but that didn't stop me from sending a return fire grape in Legolas' direction, we'd been throwing grapes at each other for the past ten minutes.

"It is an army bred for a single purpose. To destroy the world of men. They will be here by nightfall." Aragorn stood and looked between me and Legolas before shaking his head and turning his back.

"Let them come!" shouted Theoden, making me jump and choke on the grape I was trying to eat. Legolas and Gimli had their weird freak fighting smiles on. I shook my head and rolled my eyes.

"Males."

**Author's Note:** So what do you think? Let me know! 15 days till my birthday! (not counting today!) WOOT!


	20. Chapter 20

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Wow, sorry for the **way** late update I really am! Everything's just been so hectic. But anyway, enough with the pity party for me. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah or whatever you celebrate! Here's the next installment!

**Reviews:**

**Erid'Lor:** I was when I last posted...but I'M FINALLY BETTER! Anyway...thanks for the review!

**bubblymuggle4: **Wow, we really are similar hmmm? I'll be sixteen by the way. Thanks for the review, as always.

**Miriel's Heart:** You know, thanks for pointing that out, I would have never noticed, honestly. Thank you thank you.

**Hallows07: **Thank you! And no problem, I know how it feels to be sick for a long time!

**Hikitsulover-81: **Thank you! For both the review and the early birthday wish!

Chapter 20: And we're off! Figuratively speaking.

So I've ended up walking around with the Mighty morphing losers trying to gather men for the upcoming '"Battle of the world of men!". No luck for that. There is seriously no one in this village that could fight, and live anyway. Me and Legolas have been entertaining ourselves by commenting on just how long someone could last, until I jut caught Aragorn's hefty glare. As usual.

"I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall." Théoden shouted in his commanding, "I"M KING! DO WHAT I SAY!" voice. No one moved really.

"Shame, I don't believe we'll be able to find anyone that meets that criterion in this part of town." I said, putting on a fake "Soldier Inspector" air. I received a pop in the mouth by Aragorn. Flaming pansy. We just kept walking, Théoden chose to ignore my statement, and continued to comment on how we would cover this and that part of the wall.

"No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall, or set foot inside the Hornburg."

"Whets the Hornburg?' I asked looking at Théoden; he merely closed his eyes, and continued walking. He's a flaming pansy too!

"It's Helms Deep, you dolt." replied Legolas, obviously trying to soothe my temper. Not helping though. So I stepped, lightly of course, on his foot, making him yell out a stream of curses, causing all the women to stare at him in shock.

"You could have made any of my crewmates proud just then!' I beamed at him before smacking him on a back, ignoring the festering glare he was sending in my general direction.

"This is no rabble of mindless Orcs. These are Uruk-Hai. Their armor is thick and their shields broad." Gimli was protesting about he Hornburg's stability when we finally caught up with them again. Theoden wasn't taking it very well, considering the color his face was turning. Or maybe he was choking?

"I have fought in many wars, master dwarf. I know how to defend my own Keep." He was staring menacingly down at Gimli, the only one he could actually manage to do that too...ahaha.

"Oh, so that's why you looked so old when we first met? My apologies." We all whirled around to stare at Legolas, whose eyes were as big as saucers, and he had his hands covering his mouth. I knew I'd rub off on him at some point in time. If Aragorn doesn't close his eyes, they might pop right out of his face. Gimli's chuckling, but Théoden looks about ready to run Legolas through with a fork or something.

"Are you implying something master Elf?"

"Oh no, he wasn't talking about you, no! He was talking about...that old box sitting right there. Yeah. He and the box are amazing friends." I inched closer to Théoden, noticing Legolas was still standing in the same position. Didn't look like he was going anywhere any time soon. "Between you and me, the box is the only one who listens to Ligulas anyways." Théoden gave me an understanding glance, a sympathetic one to Legolas, whose face was turning steadily redder, and continued on his way. Only then did I get t box in the back of the head. Right after I'd saved his butt too, no gratitude at all. I sent Legolas a glare and followed after Théoden.

"They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hoards will pillage and burn, we've seen it before. Crops can be re-sown... homes, rebuilt. Within these walls, we will out last them." He pointed out different areas as he talked, I wonder if he noticed no one was listening to him, well, other than Aragorn who was enraptured to hear his stories. I was busy flicking little pieces of stone at Legolas' ears and watching them twitch in response, who knew that elf could be so cute. Er.

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people, down to the last child." Point proven. I believe that if Aragorn had the nerve too, he might knock Théoden of the wall and say it was a gust of wind so he could take over this place. Why, I don't know, its a shit hole.

"What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance." Théoden whirled around, and look like he was about to grab Aragorn's collar, but then thought better of it. I made a bet with Gimli that Aragorn could totally take Théoden in a fight. Legolas mumbled that we were juvenile, rude and immature.

"Coming from you, my dear OLD sir, that is quite a compliment." Gimli said while I smiled in the background. Legolas huffed and flounced off after Théoden and Aragorn who were still having their heated argument.

"Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid." Aragorn leaned against the stonewall watching Théoden for his reaction. I think he's trying to give him a heart attack or something. I mean sure, he's old but really, I don't think it's that normal for a face to go that color, that often.

"And who will come? Elves? "Théoden pointed in mine and Legolas' direction, I bristled and was about to give him my opinion, but Legolas slapped his hand over my mouth. I swear I think he enjoys me licking him. "Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead." He turned back away from us to look over his 'throne'.

"Gondor will answer." Aragorn said lazily, looking at his nails. I suppose now would be the time to tell him he really need a manicure or something, he nails were practically black with dirt.

"Gondor? Where was Gondor when the Westfold fell? Where was Gondor when our enemies closed in around us? Where was Gon... ? No, my lord Aragorn. We are alone." Well Aragorn just got a shower with Théoden's spit. Yucky. He didn't even flinch, but pretty boy beside me sure did...well, so did I.

"Get the women and children into the caves." Théoden was stomping around his keep yelling orders and biting everyone's head off, so of course, I decided to mock him. I only got caught when Legolas stated laughing when I copied some particularly rude gesture Théoden made.

"Are you quite finished my lady?" Théoden snarled through his vicious smile. I gave a nervous chuckle and jumped behind Legolas to hide, every now and then peeking around his side. Théoden huffed and continued on his merry march, where ever it was we were going. Shouting as he went. I missed part of his tirade right now.

"THERE IS NO TIME! WAR IS UPON US!!!" shouted Théoden, his eyes swirling madly in their sockets, I stuck my tongue out in disgust, and Legolas grabbed it. Ewww. Who knows where his hands have been. Oh dear, nasty thoughts...nasty thoughts!

"Move back! Move back!!" I was leaning against the wall watching the guards rushing about trying to get all the women and children into the caves. Some of them just wouldn't let them go. This one old woman was practically choking her son so he couldn't leave. Legolas asked what good it would do her if he stayed into the caves but was killed anyway; she kicked him in the balls in response. I snorted and then quickly hid behind the corner when he turned to glare. Legolas then walked around the corner, I guess he realized it was me and was going to give me a talking to, but he merely told me to follow him and stay quite. Surprisingly, I did just that. He led me to the armory, where we finally found Aragorn, throwing swords that he found unfit, all over the place. I was going to give him a piece of my mind about throwing sharp objects around when so many people were in this area. Legolas gave me a look before walking forward, so I returned the gesture. Gimli fell off his seat laughing when he saw it.

"Farmers, farriers, stable boys. These are no soldiers."

"Most have seen too many winters." Gimli grunted trying to reclaim his seat; he was fighting a losing battle.

"Or too few." Legolas muttered glancing at Aragorn who was pacing the room. He looked absolutely pissed I was tempted to ask him why, when I as interrupted by some old man making a fuss about being called an old man. How ironic. I slapped my palm to my face, casing all around me to gasp. Opps, guess that was the first time I'd ever performed that gesture, I gave a huge grin and gestured for the people to return to business, they all shook their heads and continued.

"Look at them. They're frightened. I can see it in their eyes." said Legolas, turning on the spot, pointing out different people who looked the most frightened, they all started when they noticed he was watching them. "_Boe a hyn, neled herain dan caer menig_." (And they should be... Three hundred against ten thousand.) It was like he was scoffing at Aragorn, which is one thing I've learned, you never scoff at Aragorn. Never.

"_Si beriathar hyn, ammaeg na ned Edoras_." (They have more hope of defending themselves here than at Edoras.) Aragorn snapped stopping his pacing. Finally it was making me dizzy.

"A_ragorn, nedin dagor hen u-'erir ortheri. Natha daged dhaer_._" _Legolas shouted pointing to the nearest person who happened to be me, so I grabbed his fist and shoved it to the young boy who was sitting next to me shining his piece of metal, errrr.. sword. Legolas' neck turned a nasty shade of red from this embarrassment. Aragorn's face was the same color, only from anger instead.

" Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn knocked the table over and stomped out of the room, I could hear him knocking things over as he went down the hall. Legolas made to go after him but I grabbed his arm to stop, and matched his glare when he turned to say something.

"_Lavaut, Esme."_ (Let go, Esme.) He said threw gritted teeth. I shook my head and grasped his fist tighter.

"_N'uma. Lle umkarnta engwar." _(No. You'll only make it worse.) I said still tightening my hold every time he tried to jerk his hand out. Finally he stopped trying and I dropped his hand, and smiled at him. He continued to glare so I huffed at him and stalked off in the opposite direction. I could hear Gimli mutter something about Legolas coming after me, so I sped up and jumped ship. Well, not really, just climbed up to the highest part of the keep. Unfortunately Legolas found me there.

"Sorry, I just didn't want to let Aragorn walk away angry. He's been my friend for so long." Legolas said looking at his hands clasped in his lap. I looked at him, and he actually looked like his hard lifestyle was catching up with him. Nah, that was just the lighting.

"Enough with your pity party, I'm not joining you." I muttered staring out over the field, where a battle will take place in no time at all. "Anyway, are you ready for this?" I sat on my hands and started to kick my legs back and forth while staring at Legolas. I bet I managed to make myself look like a five year old. Excellent. Legolas merely shrugged his shoulders before turning to face me.

"That brings up what I wanted to ask you. Would you please stay in the caves with the women and children? I'm not trying to insult you so there is no need for you to blow up like a canary over this; I just think it might be better if you did." I noticed his hands come a little further up his lap. Ahah, glad to know cause fear in the hearts of men.

" No."

"Esme..."

'Absolutely not. How dare you even ask." I said glaring at his fat head. He glared back and shifted closer. I shook my head and scrunched my nose. He glared harder and shifted close so close I could feel his breathe on my shoulder. I continued to shake my head ignoring the blush that was rising on my cheeks from this close contact. He leaned in, I leaned back, he leaned forward, and I stopped. BLUSH...

"OH there you are lad! I've been looking every were for you." We both jumped about a foot apart, blood red. "Let's go you two we've got to finish getting ready." Gimli said, I could almost hear the laughter in his voice, so I grabbed the nearest object to throw at him, only it was Legolas' hand, which made me spazz and jump up and run back to the bottom of the keep. Oh dear that was awkward.

I found Aragorn glaring out over the wall of the keep, alone, and decided to change that.

"Hiya Aragorn!" I said walking forward. Aragorn replied by turning to face me with the biggest smirk I'd ever seen in my life, which made me change direction. "Biya Aragon" I walked as fast as I could as far as I could to get away from him. Stupid git. I'm gonna be getting that all day.

I finally decided to show my face again when I heard a horn blow from the entrance of the keep. I raced down to see a whole horde of Elves marching in, with Haldir in the front. Of course. I ran up to Haldir and gave him a huge bear hug before he could even say anything, Aragorn had to pry me off so that Haldir wouldn't die.

"I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together." Haldir said pausing for the dramatic effect and you now how I am with dramatic mess. Of course I had to mess it up.

"YADA YADA! WELCOME HALDIR! Long time no see, how's Queen What's-her face?" There was a collective gasp from all the elven soldiers, Haldir's eyes looked ready to pop out of his face. Aragorn had to jerk me away rather quickly to keep Haldir from choking my brains out. 

"_Mae govannen_, Haldir" (Well met Haldir.) Aragorn said, embracing a still panting Haldir. Legolas then walked forward to say his hellos and we filed out onto the wall. Haldir still itching to wrap his hands around my neck. I allowed him his distance just for that reason. But then I got lost. Just my luck.

I ended up finding Gimli first and decided to remain with him. Then Blondie popped up, he blushed at me and turned to face Aragorn, who was still wearing the same smirk. Glad to see those to fudgetards are friends again.

"You could have picked a better spot." Gimli grumbled and I looked down to find out why he was complaining. Now I can't stop laughing, the poor dwarf can't even see over the top o the wall. Legolas smirked at him. "Well lad, by the luck you live by let's hope it lasts through the night." Gimli said to Aragorn who was fighting to keep his laughter at bay.

"Your friends are with you, Aragorn." Legolas said trying to lift the mood that had settled over us all. This would be the biggest battle we've faced so far on our journey. Great.

"Let's hope they last the night." Gimli muttered, both me and Legolas whacked him the back of the head, the force sent him tumbling over, which caused me to start wheezing with laughter.

"You know, the only thing that would make this battle even more cliché, would be rain." I said jokingly, trying to lift the mood, watching the army of orcs come to a halt in front of us. Wanna guess what happened? It started raining. I let out a stream of curses that made some of the ors grunt in shock. That's amazing. Legolas snorted with laughter. Aragorn shook his head and proceeded to direct the warriors.

"_A Eruchin,u-dano i faelas a hyn, an uben tanatha le faelas." _(Show them no mercy for you shall receive none.) Aragorn walked amongst the ranks of elves, whispering esteem raisers, and boosting moral. Lame-O.

Gimli's been jumping up and down for the past ten minutes trying to see what's on the other side of the wall. I'm leaning against it trying to control my laughter. Legolas is just smirking down at Gimli's poor helpless self. To bad it's so funny, or I'd feel bad.

"What's happening out there?" Gimli finally grunted out when he was tired of jumping.

"Master Gimli, do you desire a box?" I asked at the exact moment Legolas too asked him whether he would like a box. We both started cracking up, and finally Gimli joined in, we only stopped when we heard Aragron yell out stop. Some stupid old man had let his arrow fly. Dumb humans. Now the stupid Orcs were raging angry. Growling and snarling up at us. SO I growled back at them, Gimli raised his eyebrow at me.

'Was that supposed to be intimidating lass?"

"Yeah, was it?" I smiled really big hoping the answer was a good one.

"It was like a cat with not teeth was trying to frighten a mouse." I glared and turned back to the battlefield in time to see the orcs charging our way. I was actually ready for this.

"_Tangado a chadad._" (Prepare to fire). Aragorn shouted, still watching the orcs charging forward. Looked like they were going to try to make the wall collapse by throwing themselves at it. Hopefully they weren't that dumb. That would be pitiful.

"_Faeg i-varv di na lanc a nu ranc." _(Their armor is weak at the neck and below the arm.) Legolas said awaiting the command to fire. And when it came a whole volley of arrows flew towards the on coming beasties. Gimli asked it hit anything, so I hit him to prove my point.

For the next couple of minutes me and Gimli played chess awaiting our time to fight. I mean geez, we'd appreciate the chance. Legolas has been glaring at us this whole time, I told him it was his fault he was so good at aiming and firing, when it came to bows and arrows anyway. He stalked back to wall and continued his torrent with new ferocity. I suppose you could say we brought out eh worst in him. Or the best depending on how you interpret it.

Finally we heard Aragorn yell out to release your swords, me and GIimli were the first two standing awaiting the onslaught about to appear, sure enough. We were standing right where a ladder was unloading.

"Buh-bye now!' I said smiling and waving to the orcs that had fallen with the ladder I knocked over. Too bad another one followed right afterward so I actually had to use my sword. I caught up with Legolas was running around with his two swords whacking this way and that way, never actually getting anywhere. I just waltzed around attacking here and there humming my own little tune in my head. Until one of them nicked me in my back.

"Excuse me! Who do you think you are?" I asked hunching over like and old woman trying to ease the pain. The ugly orc just smiled in my direction. So I punched him, somehow I'd misplaced y sword, lucky me. I think I heard some knuckles crack. The thing laughed harder. So I kicked it in the area where most men don't enjoy being kicked, he didn't even flinch. "What are you? A woman or a man? Cause you're way to ugly to be a girl, well I take that back, Eowyn is actually uglier than you. Do you know who I'm talking about? The thing nodded back. "Really amazing! Do you like her?" The thing shook his head. And I'm proud to say we sat and had a conversation about our hatred of Eowyn for almost thirty minutes before Legolas ran him threw with a sword. "GEORGE! Legolas! What did you do that for? We were have an intellectual conversation about how Eowyn is just trying to get her heartbroken! And you killed him!"

Legolas' mouth dropped open before he shook his head and headed off into the rest of the feud. I said my goodbye to George, grabbed his sword and followed after Legolas. My back aching worse and worse I kept on. I ended up accidentally killing an orc off to the side because I fell and stuck my sword out to slow my falling, too bad there was an orc there. Oh well, who cares. I finally caught up with Legolas who was whirling around in circles like he was trying to dance ballet. I looked at Haldir who looked at me. I stuck my tongue out. He glared. I killed the orc that was about to slash his back and kill him. I smirked at his bemused expression.

"I hate you." He grunted before stalking off. That made me want to sing. And that's just what I did.

I walk to the highest point on the deepening wall, and cleared my throat.

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Don't hate me because I'm the best

Don't hate me because I'm the champion

Just love me like all the rest do"

I jumped down right in front of Haldir and sang in his face before waltzing off in the opposite direction.

Don't be jealous when you see me in my fancy clothes

Sexy cloaks straight form Lorien.

Don't be angry when I'm beating you in chess now.

Just be happy you got the chance to play.

And when I come to your town

Riding on horse with golden sheen.

It's only me

ME!

And when I come to your town

Riding on horse with golden sheen.

It's only me

ME!

Da da dada dada dada da dada

da da da dA da da da dadada

dadadadadad da da da da da da

da da!

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Don't hate me because I'm the best

Don't hate me because I'm the champion

Just love me like all the rest do

Love me

By the time I'd finished. The whole battled had come to a stand still, and was staring at me in total shock. I smiled bowed, and walked to pick my sword back up. People still hadn't moved. So I chopped the nearest orc's head off, still smiling, finally throwing people back into the mood.

Haldir still hadn't moved, and continued to stare at me with his mouth open until I slapped him.

"I still hate you." CLANG! I knocked his ass out with some shield laying around.

When I reached Gimli and Legolas again, they were fighting over who had more. I said hat I had more because I was a better fighter, Gimli was brave and said the reason I had more was because of my singing, so I knocked him out too. I turned to Legolas awaiting his smart comment and he just raised his hands before hightailing it out of my way. I smirked and leaned against the wall closest to me. At least it was helping my back to feel a little better.

For a while I thought we were going to win, but then Aragorn started shouting at Legolas about shooting something, and he was failing miserably. I couldn't even see what he was supposed to be shooting at. Then I noticed that something was running straight to the drain place of the keep, with fire in his hand. I ran to the wall to look see what he was planning on doing with the fire, and then I saw the bombs piled there. I knew we were screwed then. Legolas shot him five or six times and the thing still kept running, and it was in the last moment that I realized I was standing right over where the thing was headed. I sprinted out of the way just in time for the whole wall to collapse in that area. I thought I had made it out of that mess perfectly, until I slipped, whacked my chin and fell into a thing of water at the place of the explosion, by that time, orcs were filling in. I got up to run and ended up tripping again, only this time over Aragorn. Oh shit. Not good!

"Aragorn! Wake up! Aragorn!" I sat shaking his shoulder, and he gave me no response. "Look here dumbass, if you died from falling just then, I will somehow manage to bring you back to life, and kill you myself, because that would be pitiful. Now, GET, UP!" I shouted smacking his face, and he actually woke up. "Whoa, I did not think that would work."

"ESME!" Aragorn shouted before throwing me off of him to the side. I stood and began to march back to him before I realized what he did it for. "A little help don't you think?" Aragorn asked not stopping his destruction path.

"Aye, why not." I jumped in to join the fray, but stopped when I saw some girl sitting in a boat in the little puddle of water that remained. Beside the boat was some boy, with tears in his eye. I poked Aragorn in the shoulder and he too turned to watch. The orcs also stopped.

"How many have you loved before me Tristan?" asked the girl clutching his arm. Almost to the point off cutting his circulation off, it was turning purple.

"None Isolde."

"And after?" She asked again.

"None." The girl engulfed him in a hug before he pulled back and told her to get into the boat. By that time I had walked over to the two of them to get a closer glimpse. "Get in. For all time, they will say it was our love that brought down a kingdom. Remember us." He shoved the boat out into the middle of the puddle, the girl creaming his name and asking why the whole time in. I chose this moment to make my presence known.

"Young sir, do you realize that she is not going anywhere." At this the girl stopped her screaming and crying and got out of the boat. "And second, how can your love bring down a kingdom, when no one knows who you are?" The boy looked at the girl and then back at me before blinking confusedly.

"Aren't the Irish attacking D'Or as we speak?" He asked scratching his head. I shook my head no. He cursed, the girl gasped.

"OH honey, calm down, surely you've heard taht before. Anyway we were before; I think you might have the wrong story. Sorry to tell you." I gave the kids a sympathetic smile before walking back over to Aragorn.

"So, what was that about?" he asked staring over m shoulder them, they were in the midst of a heated discussion about something another.

"I don't think I can tell you? I'm confused my ownself." I said shrugging to Aragorn. He returned the gesture before turning back to the battle.

The next thing I knew we were joined by ranks of elves helping us to keep the orcs at bay.

"Oh boy, loook at him." I spotted Legolas picking up an orcs shield and throwing it on the ground, stepping on it, and sliding down killing orcs as he went. He then landed and shot the shield into another orc before standing in a hero's stance for a few seconds, and continuing his attack. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back trying to keep from slapping my forehead. I might stun some people. Legolas notices my state and comes over to ask whets wrong, I groan and walk in the opposite direction. That's when I heard Théoden yelling about us retreating back to the keep. Aragorn echoes his call, and we all turn to head back. Me and Legolas had to carry Gimli to finally get him to corporate, and that was misery right there. Crying and screaming about wanting to fight al the way into the gate. I dropped him ad turned to find Théoden yelling in my face, well, he happened to be where my face was yelling out orders. At least I have a little less dirt on my face.

"To the gate! Draw your swords. " Théoden proceeded to whip his sword out, almost disemboweling me as he went. Legolas snorted at my outraged face, so I punched him. He stopped then. Then I felt a twinge in my back, I'd forgotten all about my cut, I turned in circles trying to see it, before Legoles finally stopped me saying I was making him dizzy, and that I was an idiot. I stalked over to stand by Aragorn.

"Help them." Théoden asked Aragorn to help keep the orcs away from the gate, so Aragorn and Gimli went and attacked them on the entrance way. I could hear Gimli's war cries all the way in back of the keep. I had to lean against something to keep the pain from my back.

"_Manke naa lle engwar?" _(Are you ill?) Legolas asked scaring me out of my fitful silence I whipped around hoping he hadn't seen the cut on my back.

"No, I'm not injured, what are you talking about? Me by hurt, as if. What makes you think that?" I tried to act as if he was crazy, but the look he was giving me was scaring the mess out of me.

"Well for one, you're the one who said anything about being injured, and now that you mention it, you're dripping blood onto the ground."

"Damn. I knew that was me leaving the trail." I snapped my finger and tried to change the subject. Stupid elf wouldn't be shaken off.

"Where?"

"What are you talking about Legolas?"

"Where. Are. You. Bleeding."

"No need to act like I'm an idiot."

"WHERE!" He was breathing hard and glaring, so I finally turned around and lifted my tunic. 'See. Now was that so hard? We need to get that cleaned and dressed, come along." I dropped my tunic and made to follow him, huffing as loudly as I could the whole way down the all. "Lay on there." He pointed to a table in the middle of a hall full of soldiers running around to find things to plug the door.

"Put people eat on there!" I tried to inch away but he turned right as I reached the door.

"Esme..."

"Alright I'm going!" I jumped on the table fast than you can say, er..fast! That was lame. Legolas pulled all this stuff out of the bag and set it down beside me.

"Shirt up." He said finally turning to face me.

"EXCUSE ME?!"" I shouted. Since when was Legolas that kind of a man.

"Esme, I need you to pull your shirt up so that I may clean and wrap the wound, I don't want you to flash me." He was slapping his palm to his forehead the whole time he said this.

"Oh, I knew that." He nodded before beginning to clean my stupid cut. "Legolas. 

"What?"

"Have you ever heard of lotion?"

**Author's Note:** I tried to make it long to make up for my absence! SO let me know what you think!


	21. Chapter 21

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Woot! Another update! Let me know what you like!

**Reviews:**

**Hallows07: **Thank you very much my darlink. .

**Hikitsulover-818: **Thanks! The idea came to me the other day after I'd watched that movie for the 168465168th time this break.

**bubblymuggle4: **Man, I though I got them all that time! Thank you though.

**E.Boberin: **Great! Thank you! You actually helped inspire me for an idea, which I am rather grateful.

**Readerfreak10:** That was my favorite part to write!

Chapter 21: Oh dear, not Bartie.

Well, I've officially terminated my friendship with Legolas. After my little spiel on the effectiveness of lotion, he snarled like a ferrule cat, grabbed his nursing items, and stormed out of the room. I chased after him yelling apologies, and ended up smashing him into one of the timbers the Rohan people were trying to use to board the gate up. He received a busted lip. And then he turned to glare at me, and I just started laughing because his lip was now the size of a schooner. Unfortunately he didn't take kindly to my comparison, and stomped out of the main thresh hold. Which brings me to where I am now, searching for the dang blasted elf, he's rather gifted when it comes to hiding. Aragorn and Gimli still haven't returned, I bet they're having more fun than I am right now.

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING ELF!" Ahh, the joyous sounds of a dwarf pissed off, what a sound to wake up too. At least that leads me to my destination. I sat on my knees and peaked over the deepening wall to see Legolas firing arrows off at the Uruk-hai still trying to climb up, so naturally I decide to help. I grabbed a rock and lobbed it down towards the on coming enemy, unfortunately it hit Legolas in the back of the head, who then turned towards where I was hiding, I got out of view just in time or I believe I might have lost an eye to one of his arrows. Not something I'd appreciate.

"Gimli! Aragorn! Get out of there" shouted Theoden from the safety of the gate. Shucks, elf boy is heading up this way, if I leave I'll get caught, if I don't leave I'll get caught, maybe I can act like a rock. Yeah, that'll work; all I have to do is act like Legolas. Oh, didn't say that.

"Esme, what are you doing up here?" Damn caught in the act. I turned to look at Legolas with puppy dog eyes. He's sighed, rolled his eyes, and just walked past me. I sat for a few seconds brooding before said elf loomed over me once again. "Well, if you're just going to sit there, help me get Aragorn and Gimli back up." I nodded and jumped up to follow him to the ledge. We threw the rope to them, and I honestly thought that Aragorn was going to kill himself trying to get Gimli up the wall with him. I know I almost did, even with the help of Legolas trying to pull them up. After they were over the top of the wall I sat down and started panting, Gimli glared, I suppose he is smarter then I give him credit for.

"Fall back! Retreat!" Theoden's men were fighting over each other to be the first to get back inside the gate. I sweat dropped before exchanging a look with Legolas. Strange manners these people have. It probably took thirty minutes for all the men to gain entrance, in which that time, I had completed my masterpiece, corn rolling Legolas's blonde tresses. He hasn't quite taken to the look yet, I laugh every time I look at him.

"What have you done to your head Legolas?" Aragorn asked finally noticing the new doo once we were safely inside of the keep.

"Ask Esme, she's the one who did it." He huffed before crossing his arms and pouting. I merely rolled my eyes.

"Fine Legolas, if you don't like it, I'll take it out." I gave him the puppy dog eyes, and a couple of sniffles for effect. He just stared at me until I finally gave in. "Cold hearted being. Fine! Come here!"

"The fortress is taken. It is over." Theoden said while watching his men board the gate up with benches and tables.

"You're one optimistic old fart aren't you?" I asked from my current position, standing on the table trying to remove the braids from Legolas' hair. Stubborn elf hair. I only looked up when I felt the terrible feeling of being loomed over. Indeed. Theoden was now looming over me trying to make me feel terrible for my actions. I slapped my hand, 'Bad pirate." It worked for him

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it" Aragorn said reaching for another table to help strengthen the gate. "They still defend it." He said dropping it in the hands of an unsuspecting soldier, said soldier collapses under the weight of the table, I snigger and only stop when the soldier glares in my direction. "They have died defending it!"

"Aye aye sir Aragorn!" I mock cheered; Aragorn gave me a rather pointed look. Legolas shook his head, so I boxed his ears, he messed my work up.

"Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Aragorn was scanning the walls, trying to find any means of which for them to escape.

"Ello! Answers would be appreciated!" I screamed when no one answered. then I yanked out Legolas' last braid, making him squirm in discomfort. 'Oh poor baby ewf, did that hwurt?" He glared before walking away, I snickered.

"There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The Uruk-Hai are too many." replied Gamling, finally. Aragorn perked up and look towards Theoden in silence contemplation. Owhhh... big word. "Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass and barricade the entrance!"

"So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?" Theoden was staring off into space, and didn't even move when I did a jig on the table right in front of him. Then the table was picked up while I was in the middle of my dance, and I tumbled off the side, he still didn't move.

"Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them." Aragorn said, moving closer to Theoden, I swear he even waved his hand in front of Theoden and then whisked it out of view so no one could tell.

"For death and glory." Theoden shouted, finally coming out of his stupor.

"No. Your people you egotistical freak." I said crossing my arms while sitting with legs crossed on the floor. Aragorn aimed a kick for my leg and missed, he would have fallen if Legolas hadn't happened to be walking right behind him. Curse you elf.

"The sun is rising." I turn to see Gimli staring out the window I didn't even know existed. Well, proves how insightful I am.

"Yes. Yes!" Theoden shouted getting rather excited. Almost frighteningly so. "The Horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep, one last time." He looked pointedly at me first.

'Alas, I am disinclined to acquiesce your request." I received many confused looks from the peanut gallery. "Means no dipshits." Theoden then turns to Gimli.

"YES!" The dwarf shouted before running off to find the horn. Who knew he would get that excited about that. I shared a look with Legolas before mounting our horses that were now being brought forth. Unfortunately I was still stuck with the same old mean horse.

I gave my horse a pat on the nose, and she bit my finger. I was on my way to punch her in the nose when Legolas grabbed one of my arms, and then Aragorn grabbed the other. They tied me in a rope, put a gag in my mouth and threw me in the cave with all the women. Needless to say I was fuming. Little pillars of smoke were billowing around me. Everyone present stayed clear of me in my current state, except for Eowyn that is.

'Why are you in here?" She asked peering closely into my eyes.

"Lkasjdiofneklnaihsdjfakjeioja" I snarled, as well as I could through the gag.

"Pardon me?" She caught my obvious stare. 'Oh sorry." She untied me and then pulled the gag out of my mouth. As soon as it was out I raced to the entrance and stood banging on the door swearing like a true pirate until Eowyn cleared her throat gaining my attention. "My question please?"

"Legolas and Aragorn tied me up and threw me in here, although I'm happy to say I believe I broke Aragorn's nose when I smashed my head into it." I gave a wolfish smile when she flinched.

"Oh well, we are to make for the mountain pass now. So the best thing for you to do would be to follow us Miss." Eowyn turned on her heel and started to head out of the back. I followed closely behind, more to irate her than anything.

"So, how does it feel to be stuck in here with a war going on outside?" I asked with a simpering smile.

"Horrid. Terrible." she said through gritted teeth. My smile merely grew. We were silent for a few minutes until I heard the strangest, yet familiar sound. It was like someone was singing my pirate dirge. I whirled around in circles until I fell over myself. The further we walked the louder it got. We continued walking until Eowyn close lined me with her arm.

"You know, you could have warned me." I snarled rubbing my throat. She placed her finger on her lips before beckoning me to follow her. There were people talking up ahead.

"BART! I told you we took a wrong turn back at the fork!" A thud followed.

'Don't hit your captain!" the second voice replied. Bother were very familiar. "We didn't take a wrong turn; we just have to pass, through this mountain to reach the next town. Keep going."

"YOU'RE NOT CAPTAIN FOR THE LAST TIME! She only left you in charge until she returned. And I'm not taking another step until you let me see the map you _Nadorhuan."_ (Cowardly dog.) snarled the first voice coming closer and closer.

"_Lle holma ve' edan_" (You smell like human) replied the second voice.

"No kidding Bart. The whole cave smells like human. Shithead. No wonder Esme didn't like you." replied the first voice. If Eowyn had spared a glance in my direction she would have seen a smile dorky enough to make a toddler proud, I knew those voices, and names. The insults too. We may be clever cobs us pirates, but we were never good for insults. I leaped up and sprinted towards the two people I missed more than anything in the world. Well, the one.

"BARTIE!!!! EDDIIIEE!" I launched myself on the unsuspecting elves. I could hear Eowyn huffing along behind me.

"Esme? Is that really you?" Edward questioned after a few seconds of silence, in which we were scuffling in order to untangle our limbs.

"In the flesh." I gave a wolfish smile before attacking Edward in another hug.

"It has been too long Captain. We've missed you dearly" I heard Bart simper.

"Unless my ears have deceived me, I believe you were calling yourself, 'Captain", honestly, how stupid would that sound, Capt. Bart. Gah. Has a nasty after taste." I smiled at Bart before giving him a hug. Yes, I missed that blighter too. "So how goes my ship? And the others?"

"I thought I heard a familiar voice?" another pirate came around the corner. I turned to find Charlotte, my bestie. Funny little women she was.

"Well, if it isn't Charlotte." I said before engulfing her in a bone crushing hug. "Hope you've been keeping the scallywags at bay. Particularly these two." I nodded to the two standing behind me, she laughed before walking to Edward and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Well, I suppose you lot have been busy, have you not." Stunned is not the word to describe it. They never stopped fighting long enough to find out each others name. I remember perfectly the first time the two of them ever met, I had to tie them to separate ends of the ship to keep them from slitting each others throats.

"Aye, we have been. We came to find you miss. You're Piece of Eight has been ringing." Bart said stepping forward, handing the little piece of silver.

"So it has." I sat musing over why that thing could have been activated.

"Hello, yes I understand this is a wonderful reunion and everything, but, WE NEED TO GET MOVING SO WE AREN'T KILLED BY THE URUK-HAI!" I fell over startled at the outburst, and then I remembered who it was. Eowyn. I'd forgotten all about her. By the time I'd gotten to my feet, my crew had her pinned to the wall all three's swords pointed at her neck.

"_DARTHO!"_ (Hold). Aragorn would have my head on a silver platter if I let them kill her. "_Re nayassen amin." _(She is with me.)

"Our apologies Miss, we didn't' know you were with Capt." Edward, always the charmer, gave Eowyn a wink and a kiss on the hand. Eowyn is now the color of a poison berry, and Charlotte looks about ready to chop Edwards hand off.

"You don't understand how good it feels to be called Captain once again." I sighed oblivious to the pointed stares Eowyn was sending in my direction. Only once she started sighing did I pay any attention. "Ok, what is it?"

"We must hurry. We need to get the people out of here."

"We can show you an exit." Bart said coming so close to me I could feel his breathe on my arm, it gave me shivers, unlike the way...not going there. Anyway. "Captain?"

"Give me a minute!" I yelled bopping Bart on the head; he scuttled back as quickly as possible. "Ahah! Here's what we'll do! Eowyn, you go back to the keep with the women and children, me and my crew shall go join the feud and shall come to guard the door. How does that sound?"

"Like you're disserting us." she replied, raising her eyebrow.

"NEVER! It's like you don't know me at all mate! Don't say anything. I promise to return." I said bowing to her, winking at Edward and Charlotte while I was at it. "Plus, I have an elf and a human to thwart if you don't mind." With that I set off following Charlotte and Edward towards the exit. Bart was back to his old tricks, following in the rear for a certain purpose. I turned and smack him on the top of the head. "_E'ale'quel. SII'!"_ (In front. NOW!) He ran forward as fast as he could, I smirked. It was good to be home. Well, close enough.

By the time we had excited the cave, it was mid-day. Turns out the three of them had arrived on horseback. Unfortunately there wasn't one for me. It was either I ride with Bart, or walk. Neither would do.

"Charlotte, shack up with master Edward won't you darlink?' I asked sweetly, still exuding my captain's air.

"Most certainly captain." she replied, she looked quite happy to me. I mounted her pitch black horse and turned to head towards the front of the keep. Yet, no one followed.

"Is there a problem?"

"Well, you weren't really going to go back were you? I mean aren't you ready to go back to the ship. The whole crew misses their captain, and need you something fierce." Bart whispered.

"I leave for five minutes, and everything goes to pot. Yes I'm going back; I have people I have to help. And friends that need me. Duh. So come or go, you're choice, I won't make it for you. Whoa, did anyone else think that was weird coming out of my mouth?' All three nodded. I shrugged and continued in the direction I started, and was satisfied to hear two other sets of hoof beats following.

I jumped off of my horse once we reached the last hill separating us from the battle. Uruk-hai were everywhere you turned. I could see where Aragorn and Theoden were leading the charge. My only hope was to slip through here un-noticed. Unfortunately fate had other plans. At the exact moment that I planned on running against the wall of the mountain and down the hill, Gandalf rode up on his high and mighty Shadowfax.

"Oh mighty nice of you to come Gandalf. A little late don't you think?" I asked crossing my arms, he glared in my direction and turned to motion towards something over the crest of the hill. Another horseman rode forward; I exchanged a shrug with Charlotte before turning back towards Gandalf and the other guy. Only it wasn't just them now, it was a whole bunch of people. "Well, let me get my horse if you please." I mounted my horse and gave Gandalf a nod who then signaled the charge.

'ROHIRRIM!" the other guy, whose helmet hair looks oddly familiar, screamed before following after Gandalf, who was now blinding everything, including those behind him, with that infernal light he enjoys blasting everywhere.

"GANDALF! My eyes if you don't mind!" I shouted trying to make sure I didn't run into any of the spears the orcs had pointed towards us. None came. I opened my eyes and saw that they were in fact, running in fear. "THAT'S RIGHT YOU CURRS!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! AHAHAAHA!" I jumped off my horse and did a victory dance until I realized all eyes were now on me. "Sheesh, can't anyone get excited around here?"

**Author's Note:** Reviews por favor! You know you want to.


	22. Chapter 22

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: **Yes this is another update, I've had soo much time to dedicate to my story, and as then say, Take what you can, give nothing back. Whee… my favorite movies. Ahem, moving on, hope you enjoy!

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4:**I too, am a Pirates fanatic. I was like, perfect moment to add one of my favorites movies, into my fic! And now I can't stop listening to the Davy Jones' song from the second movie, I have it on my ipod and I'm always listening to it. George's cousin says hello by the way.

**Erid'Lor:** Thank you! Well, if you remember, Legolas had wanted her to go in the first place, so I suppose it all branched off from there hmm? Ahah, you're probably not the first, nor the last on that, guess I should have specified. I thought I did though; hmm...I'll have to look into that.

**Hallows07:**We shall see, we shall see. Thanks!

**Hikitsulover-818:** It's amazing how often that happens. Thanks for the review.

**Smileybabie:** I understand your plight, but like I said, I don't want it some aggressive, love at first sight thing. Exsnay on the Mary Sueway, follow? Anyway, thanks for the review, and you'll get your wish soon enough!

Chapter 22: I will not!

"BART! For the last time! Leave me ALONE!" I screamed, ah this is why I never liked the curr. For the past hour it has taken us to get across this stupid battlefield, he's been bugging me about coming back to the ship with Edward, Charlotte and him. I've yet to give him and answer, so now he's taken to ride along side me with his knee whacking mine; I believe I now have a bruise.

"But Captain, are you coming or- CLANK" I whirled around to see Edward with his sword out the flat side up, and his eyes closed in peace.

"Edward... I LOVE YOU!" I pointed and laughed manically in Bart's direction before speeding my horse for the last stretch between me and L-lovely old Helm's Deep.

"It was a duty Captain." Edward replied keeping his horse paced with mine, I turned to see that some Rohirrim had stopped to help Bart back upon his mount, and cursed silently.

"I believe I have taken advantage of these last few Bart-less months, now I fear the Valor are trying to make me see the fault in my ways." I said, mopingly.

"ESME!"

"Well hello, short moving blur of red hair." I said before me and the person who tackled me rolled down the ramp until I hit the bottom and he jumped off. Too bad he couldn't really go anywhere, Edward and Charlotte had their swords targeted on his throat. 'Really you guys, you've got to stop with this whole being protective over me, honestly, it's not like I'm married to you. Anyway, lovely to see you as well old chap!" I smacked Gimli on the shoulder before walking back up the ramp where Aragorn and Legolas where standing with grins on their faces. I walked to Aragorn and engulfed him in a hug.

"Funny how much this feels like deja vu." He said before setting me back on my feet. Legolas was kinda staring in a funny, "I want to pummel you, and hug you at the same time but I'm scared to either" sorta way… So I did it myself, I launched myself into him, unfortunately I don't think he was suspecting it, and we tumbled over. I could hear everyone snickering, and didn't catch why until I saw I was straddling him. I made to jump up but my boot that had some how gotten tangled in the string of his bow. I sat for a good while trying to untangle it before he whispered for me to take my boot off.

"Aragorn, I do believe it is a strange case of deja vu, I believe I've been in this position with her before." Legolas said through his gigantic smirk, I heard Gimli gasp in the background which was enough to set me off in a fit of laughter. When I'd finally reclaimed my breath, I noticed my crew mates were staring with huge sweat drops rolling down the side of their faces.

"I suppose it's time for an introduction eh?" I proceed to introduce everyone, rather quickly until it came to Edward and Legolas, they began this little, "whose the more manly of us elves here" competition, including, staring, grinding teeth, and much knuckle cracking. I exchanged a pointed look with Charlotte who rolled her eyes before grabbing Edward and pulling him backwards, I grabbed Legolas by the ear and frog marched him to Aragorn. "Stay, be good boy." He's glare was murderous. "Anyway what's on the agenda for today?"

"Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness" I nearly jumped out of my skin when Gandalf said this. I didn't even know he had reached us yet.

"Dear god man, a warning would be nice." I shouted panting and holding my heart. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder; Legolas wrapped one around my waist. "The last person to remove their arm shall have them forcibly removed." They were gone in a flash.

"Sorry my dear, surprise is my element." Gandalf smirked at me before walking into the keep to meet with Theoden. I started to follow after him to hit him but Legolas picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, much to Edward's chargin. Honestly, how childish.

"How did you get out? I thought they had you tied and gagged when they threw you in the cave?' Asked Theoden thoroughly stumped as to my miraculous escape. I exchanged a look with Bart, bad idea he smiled like a freak, I turned back around rather quickly.

"Sea turtles mate." My crew laughed, Theoden looked stumped, and Aragorn looked up at the ceiling as if asking the Valor to take him then and there. Legolas was giving me a strange look; Gandalf had his head in his hands.

"How strange, I didn't know they originated in this part of Middle Earth." Theoden dead panned looking curiously in my direction. My mouth was standing wide up with astonishment.

'And you're king?" Edward asked, walking forward giving Aragorn a look along the lines of "why aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. Theoden King."

"Yeah, and you think you have SEA turtles in where ever we are now?"

"Well, Esme just said-"

"Dear ERU! She was just kidding, me, Charlotte, and...Bart, were the ones that led her out. Geez." With that he turned and headed back to stand next to Charlotte shaking his head all the way.

"Oh."

"Oh." I repeated, still slightly startled by idiocy.

"Anyway, as I said before, Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness." Gandalf said, looking pointedly to the east.

"What's over there sir?" questioned stupid old Bart. I bopped him on the head and drug him back over to his comrades.

"We shall ride to Isengard, where the Ents have been at war themselves."

"With what? Stones?" I asked, knowing that Isengard had indeed, emptied all it's contents to meet us at Helm's Deep. Gandalf quickly turned and silenced me with one of his glares, Legolas again tried to copy one, and I started giggling. Until I realized I was indeed giggling, then I stuffed my fist into my mouth. Legolas just raised his eyebrow at me, I tried to smile, no progress. Edward then bopped me in the back of the head for being an idiot. So I turned and started to slap him, which began and all out slapping of the hands battle. "EDWARD! YOU SHALL NOT WIN!" I launched a new attack with more ferocity, cornering him between me and a column, and then Legolas decided he was going to help Edward, and began tickling me from behind. "TRAITOR!"

Then we heard Gandalf clear his throat, what an interesting position we must all be in, I had two handfuls of Edward's hair trying to keep Legolas from pulling me off of him, Edward was hugging the column he was up against, and Legolas was pulling me as hard as he could.

"If we are done being childish, we may want to prepare for the ride ahead." Gandalf said matter-o-factly, staring intensely at me and Legolas.

"Yeah yeah, ok, we're going. But first, can I have my face back please Gandalf?" I said placing my hands on my hip, Gandalf finally stopped staring and turned to start another conversation with Theoden. I set off to gather my belongings; it wasn't long before Charlotte had me cornered for questioning. 'You see, I knew this was coming, that's why I didn't try to stop it."

"Sure you did."

"I did! I promise!"

"Right anyway, what is going on with you and Blondie?"

'Aha, that's what I call him too!" She got an angry glare on her face, and with that look, comes pain. "Ok ok what do you want to know?"

"Do you like him?"

'Of course, how could you now like someone you have to travel with for Eru knows how long? I mean I didn't like him at first, he was a pigheaded snot buck-"

"Esme, you know what I mean..."

"No I don't." I stood with my chest stuck out defiantly. She poked me in the chest, deflating me rather quickly. "Ok fine, yes I do. Happy?'

"Finally, it's been the longest time since you've shown any interest in anyone but treasure, which you are obsessed with."

"I am not obsessed with Treasure, merely shiny things."

"Does he like you?' She asked ignoring my previous statement.

"How should I know? I'm not exactly going to go up to him and be like "Hey Legolas, do you like me, cause I like you?"

"You just did." I whirled around to see Legolas with his eyebrow raised, leaning against a column across the room.

"Oh you're evil Charlotte, and you will pay for this!" I stood shaking my fist at her retreating back until I heard Legolas clear his throat. "What?' I snarled whipping around and my chin in his chest. 'I thought I told you before not to sneak up on me like that."

"Sorry, comes with being an elf."

"Was that supposed to be an insult?"

"No, I meant none, just stating the facts." He smirked when I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out. 'Anyway, to answer your question-"

"Legolas, Captain Esme, are you ready to leave."

"DAMN YOU AND YOU'RE BAD TIMING BART!" I shouted running over to him. He backed away slowly.

'My apologies, Esme, Aragorn's orders." he whimpered covering his head like a little twerp. I looked at Legolas; he shrugged, so I decided not to hit Bart.

"Well, tell master Aragorn to shove it up his as-"

"Well, I've already heard it myself. Thank you though Esme." Aragorn walked towards us, replacing all of his daggers. Suppose he finally cleaned them. "Anyway, we need to find you a new horse, we let your's go, she was rather annoying." I smirked. They finally got why I didn't like her.

I narrowed my eyes at Legolas and Aragorn, Legolas was the first to get what the look was about.

"No worries Esme, we won't be locking you up now, more sea turtles might come to save you."

"Captain, you may still ride my horse." Charlotte said from somewhere behind me. I turned to see her sticking her head out around Edward, who looked utterly confused.

"You dare show your face you cowardly dog!" I shouted before lunging towards Edward and Charlotte. Edward let a squeak like a girl before diving to the floor, Charlotte started to run off. I didn't get far however before Legolas captured me from behind. This didn't slow my fight any.

"Just take the horse Esme." Legolas sat me down when I finally subdued.

"Fine I will. Edward, you can get up now." I squatted down in front of him, to see his eyes with little swirlies in them. Poor baby. I jumped on his back, he finally got up.

"Where's Charlotte?" the poor innocent fool asked.

My eye started twitching; Legolas had to grab me to make sure I didn't run off to find her.

"Right here." Still wearing that innocent smile. Evil conniving cuttlefish.

"So are we ready to depart?" questioned Gandalf surveying the current scene without the slightest interest. We all nodded and left to mount our horses.

The whole journey to Isengaurd included a lot of me chasing Charlotte and Legolas holding back my horse, until he finally jumped on my horse to keep me from controlling it.

"You know, I like you less for this." I said huffing and puffing trying to get him to have my horse back, although I don't really mind this close contact.

"I'll live with that" I could here the laughter in his voice. I huffed and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep, which I did, on Legolas' back. Hope I don't slobber too much.

"Welcome my lords, to Isengard." shouted someone in the distance waking me from my slumber. I instantly sat up, and fell of the rear of my horse. Legolas stopped and looked down at me, laughter showing in his eyes. I grabbed a handful of mud and threw it in his face. Target.

"Ahahah! You look like a mud monster!' I gasped through my laughter; Legolas looked over at Aragorn before jumping off his, my, Charlotte's horse, and began tickling me unmercifully. 'Stop- snort- I yield- snort!" He gave a satisfied smirk, jumped back on the horse and prepared to leave until he remembered I was riding with him.

"Can you please get on now?"

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't, I'll tickle you again."

"I shall force you to ride with me." Gandalf said pulling his horse to a stop almost inches from my forehead. I nodded and jumped quickly on to my horse.

"Alls well!" I saluted him before urging Legolas to move forward.

"You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you feasting and, and smoking!" Gimli ran forward to two figures sitting on the wall in front of us. They looked suspiciously like hobbits. Hobbits we know. I whispered this to Legolas, and reveled in the fact that every time I whispered, his ear would twitch, and he would stiffen. So I took advantage of this knowledge, and continued to blow air on his ear the whole way into Isenguard.

"We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good." yelled the one walking towards us, he slurred every word in the sentence which led me to believe that the young master hobbit, was indeed, drunk.

"Like ale, I suppose?" I yelled catching the attention of the hobbits.

"ESME! You're still amongst the living!" yelled the one who was still sitting on the wall; I suppose he was too drunk to walk.

"Do I know you? Why wouldn't I still be here? Are you implying something hobbit?" I jumped down from the horse and ran over to the hobbit on the wall. "MERRY!" I would have hugged him, but thanks to previous events, I knew we'd probably tumble off the side.

"Nice to see you too Esme." shouted what must be Pippin on the ground. Gimli was going on about salted park. I threw a piece of wall rock at him to make him stop.

"Hobbits." Gandalf said disgustedly. For some reason that made me laugh really hard. Legolas gave me a confused look, so I stuck my tongue out at him.

"We're under orders from Treebeard who has taken over management of Isengard." Merry said making to stand, he didn't get far before he toppled over and brought me down with him.

"Fool of a hobbit. Now look what you went and did. What possessed you to do something that stupid eh? Do you hear me Merry?' I looked to see him with eyes the size of dinner plates staring at the tip of Bart's sword. "Good gracious, I thought I made it clear to you, NONE OF THIS PROTECTIVE SHIT! I'm not married to you, nor am I in anyway in love with you. Sheesh, how do you think I survived without you here, hm?" I brushed past him mumbling curses; Gandalf boxed my ear to make me shut up.

"We head out to see Treebeard. Come along." I rejoined Legolas on our horse and gave him a smile, before blowing on his ear. He glared and turned back around. I love that.

By the time we had reached Treebeard, I had annoyed Legolas so much, that he had put his hood up over his ears so that I couldn't do it to him anymore. So now I was moping because I had nothing better to do. Edward thought it would be fun to bring Charlotte close every now and then, in which I would lash out to reach her, then Legolas would grab me, Edward would ride off laughing with a queasy looking Charlotte holding on for dear life.

"Hm, young Master Gandalf, I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master. But there is a wizard to manage here -- locked in his tower." Treebeard said pointing to the tower. I was more amused by how long it took him to say that. And I said so; Legolas slapped his hand over my face and gave the big scary tree a forced smile, which could be because I had just bit his finger. I could hear Charlotte sniggering.

"There Saurman must remain, under your guard, Treebeard." Gandalf said ignoring the last comment I had made.

"Well, let's just have his head and be done with it." Gimli already had his axe out polishing it, hoping he would be the one to kill Saurman.

"No, he has no more power anymore." Gandalf replied eyeing Gimli's axe to give him a push to putting it away, too bad Gimli's too dumb to sense these type of things.

"The filth of Saruman is washing away. Trees will come back to live here." Treebeard commented, like he was stating the weather. I stared at him with an incredulous look, we were talking about some evil wizard and here he is talking about vegetation.

"Pippin!" Aragorn drew everyone's attention to the poor hobbit that looked like a deer in the headlights right about now.

"Peregrin Took, I'll take that my lad." Gandalf rode up and snatched the ball thing out of Pippin's hands and wrapped it in his cloak before turning back to Treebeard. I could still see Pippin trying to catch another glimpse of the ball.

"So, are we going back now?" I asked when the silence fell upon us. Everyone closed their eyes for a few seconds before Gandalf nodded. "Excellent."

When we reached Edoras, a party was well on it's way. I love parties, but I doubt this could be as good as mine. Edward said so himself, Bart was saying it just because he's a lame-o.

"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!" I looked around confused because no one else seemed to catch his mistake.

"Um Mister Theoden, king, man, how can the -muhthfphm." Legolas had some how found his way to place his hand on my face, yet again. Giving another forced smile he dragged me out of the room leaving a very confused looking Theoden.

"What is you're problem?" He asked, still not releasing my mouth. "Are you going to answer?" I moved my eyes from his hand back to his face. 'Right sorry. Now answer."

"Well didn't you hear what he said? How can you be victorious if you're dead? Hmm? Seems to me like you lost! Big time. I mean, It's like you lost the championship of championships. The best competition, and you lost-" He rolled his eyes in reply.

"OK I get it. He's just, I don't know, trying to make everyone feel better about it or something, I don't know. But don't make him upset, we really don't need an angsty Theoden on our hands do we?

"No I guess not. Hey wanna walk; I don't really want to go back in there yet." Without waiting for an answer I ran outside to stare at what was left of the sunset. I heard him chuckle before following after me. "You know, they say that every time the sunsets, and there is a green flash, a soul is returned to the world from the dead. Cods wallop I say, but I still wonder what the significance is. Anyhoo… can you even see it on the main land. Have you, ever gazed upon the green flash, sir Legolas." He stopped to stand on my right side, staring off into the distance.

"Can't say that I have. Interesting tale comes with it hm?"

"Were you even listening to me when I just told you what it meant?" He didn't speak. Answer enough. "Then, seeing as I am not in a very divulgetory mood shall make you suffer by keeping you in the dark. Aha." He rolled his eyes and snorted, kinda reminded me of a horse. But I never told him that.

"I heard you crew speaking of trying to convince you of coming back with them. Are you going too?" The look he placed me under was enough for me to almost kiss him right then and there. But seeing as he might not appreciate that, I kept my distance, as heart wrenchingly difficult as it was.

"I don't know, I wish this was an easy decision, but it's not." The sky flashed green. There goes some lost soul back amongst the realm of the living. Or maybe some a Nazgul ate some really bad eggs, and he couldn't contain himself.

"It should be."

"What?"

"You'd just think it would be an easy decision." Legolas wasn't looking at me.

"Well, if that's what you think, you make it for me. Think like I would in that situation."

"Easy, stay with us. We need you."

'For what, a laugh or two?"

'I need you." I turned to see him walk away.

"So, what am I, you're comedic relief?"

"And to answer your earlier question," He stopped but didn't turn back to face me. "I do."

"Oh, so I am just a source of entertainment to you? Well I feel loved!" I stomped my foot before following him back to the celebration.

I walked in to see Merry and Pippin singing some bar room jig on top of a table. I shook my head and walked over to Charlotte and Edward, who were hiding in a corner staring around the room in apprehension.

"So, how goes it?' I asked draping myself across one of the chairs next to them.

"Like a human disaster." scoffed Edward watching one of the men stumble to refill his goblet.

"Aha, sounds about right." I pulled out my sharks tooth and was about to try and crack this riddle of the piece singing, only to be interrupted by Charlotte.

"Where did you and Legolas disappear to, it doesn't take that long for a mommy to scold their troublesome child."

"Stop insinuating things that aren't true" I snapped slamming my necklace on the table, making the occupants of some of the surrounding table flinch.

"It's true though Esme, he has taken some sort of liking to you. I can already tell, and I've known him, three days?" Edward replied, coming to his lover's defense.

"Double teaming, is unsportsmanlike like conduct." I snarled making to stand. "He shows no affection to me what so ever, all I am is his entertainment for this stupid journey."

"He does love you Esme!" protested Charlotte, only to be cut off by Legolas.

"Let's here a song Captain Esmeralda, how about it?" He sent me a smirk.

"How about, NO. Oh yeah and Charlotte, point proven." I was on my way out of the door when Legolas caught me by the arm and drug me up to the front. "_Lle umgurther naikelea gurtha." _(You will die a painful death.) I snarled wrenching my arm from his grasp.

"That is a chance I'm willing to take." He said, still smirking that obnoxious smirk. I don't even understand why he's smirking.

"Good."

"Proceed if you will" He mock bowed himself off the stage.

"I shall."

"The king and his men

stole the queen from her bed

and bound her in her Bones.

The seas be ours

and by the powers

where we will well roam.

Yo, ho, haul together,

hoist the colors high.

Heave ho, thieves and beggars,

never say we die."

By this time Charlotte, Edward and Bart had joined in.

"Some men have died

and some are alive

and others sail on the sea

– with the keys to the cage...

and the Devil to pay

we lay to Fiddler's Green!

The bell has been raised

from it's watery grave...

Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?

We're call to all,

pay head the squall

and turn your sail toward home!

Yo, ho, haul together,

hoist the colors high.

Heave ho, thieves and beggars,

never say we die."

By the end of our song, an eerie silence had overcome the audience.

"_Edward, Charlotte, Bart, desiel i'rokko, lye autdome." _(Ready the horses, we leave tonight.) I marched right by Legolas, ignoring the imploring look his was sending in my direction. Even Aragorn looked surprised, and he made to follow after me, but I shook my head, reclaimed his seat and I followed after my crew.

"Do we have a-oomph!" I was cut off by a hand mysteriously appearing over my mouth, again. Legolas pulled me into a room conveniently placed for this type of thing. I bit his finger and made to dart out the door, until he stepped in front of it. "You know, this ambushing thing you enjoy, is getting really annoying."

"Whatever it takes."

"You don't know how good of a pirate you'd make." this comment startled him enough for me to push him off the door. We stood fighting over the handle for a good five minutes before he won, again. "Fine say what you have to say and be done with it."

"First what does that song mean?'

"I don't know! My dad just always used to hum it, and one day I made him tell me the words. Happy?"

"For now." I rolled my eyes at his insistence. "Second, what made you make this decision?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe my lack of importance to this whole thing anyway? I mean seriously, let's say I'd never met Aragorn, I never would have had to help him capture those hobbits and then I wouldn't have had to go to Rivendell. Or attend that stupid council, or be thrown into this stupid fellowship. And I sure as hell wouldn't have had to fall in love with you, and be disappointed. So if you'll excuse me, I have a ship and crew that I miss most dearly to return to. Good day and good luck." I threw the door open and took maybe two steps down the hall before Legolas whirled me around and planted a kiss on my unsuspecting lips.

"Hubba hubba." was all I heard in the background before submitting into bliss.

**Author's Note:** Well, I tried to make that work. I'm not very talented when it comes to writing that type of romance thing, so be easy. Anyway, if you could tell I wrote this while watching final installment to the Pirates of the Caribbean three, and I love it!! Anyway, reviews please!


	23. Chapter 23

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Here you go, one last update before my break is finally over. Boo-hoo. Hey! I just noticed! This is the first chapter I've written in 2008! Woo-hoo! Sorry, I'm a sap for these kinda things. Anyway...here you go.

**Review: **

**bubblymuggle4:** Just for you mate, just for you. Thanks as always!

**Readerfreak10:** So I've been told. Thanks!

**Hikitsulover-818:** I've been looking for that book and I can't find it anywhere. I will continue to look though. Sounds interesting. Thanks.

**Hallows07:** I don't know if the real Theoden would have believed it, but I always thought of him as somewhat of an idiot for many reason, coughWormtonguecough, so that's how I chose to portray him. Anyway, thanks!

**jennfire:** Yeah, I know, I just haven't gotten around to fixing some of that yet, I will though, I promise. Anyway, thanks for the reviews!

Chapter 23: On second thought...

"You can stop smiling now Esme, it's getting rather annoying." grumbled Aragorn for the thousandth time that night. Ever since the moment in the hallway, I'd been walking around the party wearing the same goofy grin as Legolas, only, he somehow manages to make it less goofy looking.

"Fine, rain on my parade then." I jumped from my seat and stomped over to stand by Gimli and Eomer who were busy trying to get Legolas to participate in their little drinking game.

"No pauses, no spills." Eomer sat prattling off the rules of the game so many have played before. Honestly, it's not something new, it's a tradition everywhere.

"So it's a drinking game?" Legolas asked tilting his head to the side in the cutest way. I just wanted to kiss him right then and there, although I don't know how people would react to that.

"Duh, what else would it be?" I asked pulling up a chair beside them "I'm in." I winked at Legolas who was busy staring at me like I had ten heads.

"Are ye lass? So tell me elf, are you going to let your sweetheart beat you out?" Major blush. Gimli winked at me continuing to stare at Legolas hoping the elf would say he was in. 

"I'm in." I slapped him on the back before grabbing the mug that was being pushed my way by Eomer.

"Wait, you're going to let a maiden join the drinking?" some random man in the background asked astounded.

"Pirate!" I said standing and pointing at myself. There was a collective 'Ah, of course." I nodded, and sat back down waiting to start.

"Last one standing wins." Gimli chugged his mug before me or Legolas had even reached for ours. I knocked mine against Legolas', successfully spilling some, before throwing it back. The prissy little elf sipped it, making funny faces at the bittersweet taste of the ale. I grabbed the bottom of his mug and pushed it up, effectively making him chug it.

"You cheat!" he spluttered through the ale dripping down his chin.

"Pirate." I smiled innocently. He rolled his eye before reaching for the next mug. And me being stupid didn't realize he would return the favor, as I went to drink he smacked the bottom of the tankard effectively knocking it out of my hand making me fall backwards over my chair trying to get out of the way of the liquid. I stared at him.

"Almost pirate." he smiled pointing at himself. I started laughing at the irony of that statement. Gimli continued to drink any and every thing that his hand came in contact with.

A few minutes later I was joined by Edward and Charlotte who began to down ale as fast as I was. Legolas still held his nose up before draining the drink.

"Here, here. Raugh! It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy women." Gimli stood, almost falling in the process, before belching directly in Legolas' face; I started laughing at the rater appalled expression placed on his face.

"Girly man!" shouted Charlotte upon seeing his expression, which turned murderous when he heard her comment. 'Eep!" She ran to hide behind none other than Edward.

"I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers." Legolas looked at his fingers before giving me a confused look, I merely shrugged and downed another tankard, I'd yet to reach that stage. "I think it's affecting me. Is it not affecting you?"

"How many times am I going to have to say this tonight? Pirate! I've become rather tolerant to ale. Savvy?" I asked leaning in to peck the poor elf on the cheek.

"What did I say? He can't hold his liquor. "Gimli eye's crossed before the poor dwarf fell over side ways, passed out.

"You know, this calls for a song my friends!" Edward shouted wiggling his eyebrows at me, Charlotte, and Bart, who had appeared out of no where just then.

'AYE!" we all shouted before breaking into our favorite song.

'AND REALLY BAD EGGS!" Charlotte and I continued to spin in circles with our arms around each other's shoulders, repeating this one line, before she finally fell down pulling me with her. She landed on Edward who had already claimed a seat on the floor, I unfortunately face planted into the stony ground.

"Ow, that was rather painful." I muttered pushing myself up and shaking my head.

"Game over." Legolas shouted, smiling boldly at us all.

"Congrats, you've won, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" I laughed and pointed in his face until I caught the rather lecherous look on his face. "Yeah. Right. Fresh air anyone?" With that I turned and sashayed across the floor managing to step on none of the men knocked out on the floor. I didn't hear Legolas come until I felt him standing beside me.

"So, is you're decision not changed then?"

"You know I have no importance to this mission, I'm more of a distraction really." I said, staring at the stars that had now become visible. "And don't say the reason you want me to stay is for you. I know, I would love to stay just for you and say that I was doing any good, but honestly, tell me what I've accomplished other than making people laugh, hmm?"

"Well laughter in these bleak times is a blessing in it's self." I eeped before falling on my butt because stupid Gandalf had to be all surprising and sneaky.

"Stupid wizard. Thought I told you not to that." I muttered accepting Legolas' help up. "Are you trying to tell me that you would miss me if I left?" I said putting on a puppy dog eyed look staring at Gandalf.

He snorted before turning to head back in, "Not in the least. Think about Esme."

"GAH! YOU'RE ALL TEAMING UP ON ME! FINE I'LL STAY YOU BLOODY WANKERS!" I shouted before smiling at Legolas who was covering his ears.

'I already have a headache forming and don't wish for it to get any bigger thank you." He said easing his hands off his ears.

"Poor bwaby." I cooed before wrapping my arms around his waist and standing on my tiptoes to kiss his temple. "I'll be quiet just for you."

"You would face such a feat, for little ol' me? I'm honored." he said laughing, I slapped his chest before turning back to the stars.

"You are quite old actually." I smirked looking up at him. He turned his face down towards me smiling.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

The peaceful silence that had fallen over the two of us as we stood with our arms around each other was only interrupted when we heard Aragorn clear his throat before joining us.

"The stars are veiled. Something stirs in the East. A sleepless malice. The eye of the enemy is moving." Legolas kept his face pointed up to the sky ignoring the looks both me and Aragorn were giving him.

"What are you know? A cryptic ol' star gazer?" I asked prodding him in the chest.

"I noticed you threw old in there again." Legolas said glancing down at me for a split second.

'I could never lie." I sent Aragorn a glare when I heard a cough of disagreement. "Fine, not often."

"If you say so."

"Now loo- Legolas, _mani naa ta?"_ (What is it?) I could feel his body go rigid, almost like some hound dog on the hunt. That actually made me snigger a little causing Aragorn to send a glare in my direction, I returned it gladly. If he'd heard the comparison he would have laughed just as well.

"He is here." He turned and fixed Aragorn with a pointed look, Aragorn in return started sprinting off. Legolas and I followed him to the sleeping chambers where we entered to see Pippin struggling to drop the ball we had seen earlier. I ran forward to help him only to have Legolas stick and arm out to stop me.

'What are you doing!? Look you great brute! He can't get rid of it!" I continued to struggle with him until I saw Aragorn dart forward and grab the thing from Pippin, who immediately fell over with relief, I suppose. I turned back to Aragorn to see him struggling with it as well, I ran over and grabbed his shoulders only to have him almost pass out and drop the ball. As it rolled away Gandalf came out of nowhere and threw some blanket on top of it. The whole room sat in a stunned silence looking around in what could be considered fear.

"Fool of a Took!" Leave it to Gandalf to be the one to crush the silence. He knocked Merry out of the way to lean over Pippin, who looked like he wanted the world to open and swallow him whole. I feel his plight. I ran over to merry and wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he watched Gandalf scare the living shit out of his own cousin.

"Look at me" Gandalf said grabbing Pippin's chin and making him look at him.

"I wouldn't want to look at him either." I whispered to Merry who tried to desperately hide his snicker. Legolas sent us a look meaning, shush. So I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Gandalf. Forgive me!" Pippin had his eyes pointed to the ground. There's nothing Gandalf can do to get him to look at him now. For Pippin's sake I hope there isn't.

"Look at me. What did you see?"

"Ah... a tree. There was a white tree, in a courtyard of stone. It was dead! The city was burning."

"Minas Tirith. Is that what you saw?" Gandalf asked trying to pry more and more out of Pippin.

"I saw... I saw him! I could hear his voice in my head!" Pippin burst out crying and Merry made a move to go comfort him but I grabbed his tunic so he couldn't move.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Do you want Gandalf in your face like that?" Merry adopted a face of realization over the confused and hurt one that had previously been occupying his face. 'Didn't think so."

"What did you tell him? Speak!" Gandalf said with a sense of great urgency. Why I couldn't tell you.

"He asked me my name. I didn't answer. He hurt me." Pippin sniffled a few times before glancing up at Gandalf again.

"What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?" Gandalf was almost shaking the poor hobbit.

"Nothing." With that Gandalf stood and walked swiftly out of the room. where to know one knew. Me and Merry ran to Pippin who was now letting his tears fall freely.

"Shh Pip, it's alright now." I said sending a reassuring smile to Pippin. I have to admit, he always has been my favorite of the hobbits. I let Merry and Pippin to join Legolas and Aragorn, the latter looking more worn and tired then I had every seen him. "_Sut naa lle?" _(How are you?) He shrugged and turned to follow after Gandalf, I turned to Legolas who shrugged. I stared.

"What, everyone else was doing it." He replied.

"Oh, so if everyone was to jump off the top of some mountain, would you jump off as well?" I asked. He shook his head. I scoffed and followed after Aragorn. Stupid elves.

"There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool, but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and the Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing. He knows the heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still -- strength enough, perhaps to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of middle earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the throne of Men. If the beacons of Rohan are lit, Rohan must be ready for war" Gandalf was sitting in front of Theoden, while the rest of us were just milling around. Me and Legolas were taking turns flicking things at Gimli to see if he would react because of his hang over, he hasn't blown up yet so I can't say if he has or not. Pippin is moping on some stool off to the side, where Merry stands faithfully beside him. How cute. Eomer is acting like he's paying attention while he is really looking at his fingers and wondering what color he should paint them as soon as this is over. Actually I don't know what exactly he is doing; I suppose he really is listening to all this hubba baloo about nothing.

'Tell me, why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?" Theoden snapped looking furious as if the very idea were preposterous. Eomer merely looked bored at the outburst.

"I will go." I fell out of my seat in surprise when Aragorn came out of nowhere and spoke right behind me.

"Where in Valor's name did you come from?" I said standing and rubbing my sore butt, Legolas snickered before I kicked him in the shin, which happily shut him up.

"No." Gandalf said giving him THE look.

"They must be warned." Aragorn said, ignoring said look. Bad idea, I say, I've learned from experience with that old man. It usually ends in being blinded by his ethereal light.

"They will be." Gandalf leaned over to whisper something in Aragorn's ear. Unfortunately they were too far away from me, and I couldn't hear what was being whispered, which I don't like.

"Secrets don't make friends." I said crossing my arms.

"Then it is a good thing that is not what I'm looking for." stated Gandalf ignoring me.

"Excuse me?" I started to go off on how rude that was when Legolas placed his hand over my mouth. I licked it, and amazingly he didn't move. Now I have no way of getting him to let go. "MRPHMAHFFHPPHFEFFEHPH!!" Everyone just stared at Legolas and I while I tired to get him to remove his hand, he just smiled like nothing was wrong.

"Understand this; Things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith. And I won't be going alone." Gandalf stood and beckoned for Pippin to follow him.

"What's going on?" I jumped in surprise when Edward came out of nowhere.

"CAN PEOPLE STOP DOING THAT?" I shouted attracting the attention of everyone in the room. I smiled before waving for them to continue. "About time you three showed up, I was beginning to think you'd disappeared on me." I said seeing Charlotte and Bart walk out of their little hiding space.

"We just didn't think we should have interfered last night, so we waited until today." Charlotte replied, I cocked my head to the side. Charlotte got what I meant and slapped me on the shoulder. "No we weren't doing that, if you must know we were passed out on the floor in there most of last night and today. Better." I smirked and nodded before walking back over to Legolas who was giving me a questioning look.

"Hangovers."

"Ah."

I was playing cards with Charlotte when flickering outside the window caught my eye. I turned to look closer and saw that they were flames burning in the distance.

"Aragorn, the beacons, they've been lit!" I shouted causing him to drop his bowl and run to find the king. Unfortunately, the contents of his bowl, whatever it was, was now covering every inch of my body, including my face. "Ok then." Legolas laughed before helping my wipe some off of my face and grabbing my hand to drag me along behind him.

"The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid." Aragorn came skidding into the room where Theoden, Eomer, and Gamling were meeting. Everyone stopped and looked up at his entrance. Eowyn came in and stood beside Eomer, waiting for the reply.

"And Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim!" Theoden shouted before turning to give out orders. Aragorn smiled triumphantly, I rolled my eyes, and looked at Legolas who merely shook his head.

"Captain, that brings up the ever impending question. Are you going to stay and fight, or return to the ship?" Edward asked crossing his arms while leaning against the wall. Charlotte walked over and leaned ageist him while continuing to stare at me, waiting for my answer.

The something clicked; I knew how to do both. No it doesn't involve being in two places at one time literally, only figuratively. 'Legolas, could you excuse us for one minute?" I said slowly pushing him out of the throne room. He gave me a questioning look before finally agreeing and walking the rest of the way out. Good thing too, I almost ran out of energy there. The crew were wearing the same expression he was. I rolled my eyes before I draped myself across the closest chair.

"I have a proposition for you." All three took a step forward, ears literally perked with anticipation. "It's like this, we travel with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli so far as the Dunharrow encampment, and from there we return to the ship." They cheered and were prepared to dance when I interrupted. "But, we are only returning to the ship to make port at Minis Tirith's wharf, so that we may also participate in this battle for Middle Earth." I said ending with a smile. A stunned silence followed.

"So you mean to return to the Daerochon only to take the crew into harbor to fight for a war that isn't ours?" Edward questioned moving to place his hands on the arm rest of the chair I was currently occupying. "Does that sound fair to those who care not for the outcome of this war? We're pirates we live out to sea, not on land." I smiled sweetly up at him for a minute before replying, best to keep my temper under control if I want to get this anywhere.

"Do tell, master Edward, when we need supplies, gun powder, ammunition, swords even, or bombs, where we shall procure those items, if the ports are over run by Corsairs or uruk-hai? How many elves do you think they will serve elves, even pirate elves hmm? Tell me how do you plan to remain a pirate and gather your treasure if the only ships occupying the oceans are those of the Corsairs destroying the likes of us? I would greatly appreciate you're fantasy world you live in where this war matters not." I pushed him out of my way and made to walk out of the room only to be stopped by Charlotte.

"We understand your plight for your friends, but why should the crew have to sacrifice themselves for the race of Men. Their age is over."

"As is ours Charlotte. If they go, Pirates go with them. Do you not realize the relationship? Fine if you don't want to join, I suppose I can leave you stranded on some island so that when this war is lost the two of you can grow old together with the Corsairs. At least I will die knowing I'm fighting for something I love, not cowering behind others. I'm sure there are some of my crew that have not grown so bold as to refuse an order. Bart where is your standing?" He didn't move or reply, I nodded and jerked my arm out of Charlotte's hand and threw the doors open, almost smashing Legolas in the nose. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear your plan."

"What of it?" I snapped still angry with the last argument.

"Do you still plan on going through with it?"

"Yes I do, they can not stop doing what I feel is right."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Aren't they representing what most of your crew is going to feel when you present the idea to them yourselves?"

"I don't know but Legolas, I've got to try. There is no way that we have enough men to win this battle. I have to figure someway to help. And if the rest feel the way they feel, then so be it, I tried."

"Do you plan on telling Aragorn?"

"I suppose I'll have to won't I?"

"I wish you wouldn't risk it. Alone at least.'

"Are you hinting that you wish to join me?" I asked smiling.

"Maybe."

"I think you are." By that time we had reached the stables where Aragorn had completed his preparations. "I think I can allow that."

"Excellent."

"What's excellent?" Aragorn asked stepping out of his horse, Brego's, stall.

"I have formulated a plan that sir Legolas would like to be a part of." I said leaning against the cross ties.

"Oh? And what pray tell is this plan?" Aragorn looked nervously between Legolas and I, causing me to chuckle.

"Nothing dangerous, yet. This is the plan, we will travel to Dunharrow with you, and from there we shall travel up river to were my ship, the Daerochon, is in port. Upon which we shall board and try to convince my crew to travel to participate in the battle, destroying Corsair ships as we come along, and make port in Minis Tirith's wharf to help on land." Once the plan was laid out I smile brightly at Aragorn, whose mouth had fallen some what open.

"And you're planning on allowing her to do this?" Aragorn asked Legolas.

'Hey, he's not my father you know!" I stomped my foot to try and get their attention.

"Well, I was wondering if you would allow me to accompany her on this." Legolas said looking at Aragorn meaningfully. Aragorn looked between us for a few minutes before sighing and nodding his head.

"You know, I never really needed your permission did I?" I asked knowing the answer; he wasn't the boss of me. He shook his head, I felt like an idiot. 'Gah, I just did it for your benefit ok, only to make you feel like you were boss."

"What of the others, those that came to get you." Aragorn asked smiling his all knowing smile that drives me nuts. I just waved me hand.

"Who knows, they are no longer under my command. Or so they chose not to be. By the way, what horse do I use, seeing as I am in need of one, my first one seems to have gone missing, maybe she met her match in the shape of a cliff." Aragorn laughed before going to find a horse for me.

"Do you really not care where they go?" Legolas asked wrapping his arms around me from behind and placing his head on top of mine.

I tore my gaze off of the stack of hay and turned into Legolas and shrugged. "Who needs mates that won't follow you for something much bigger than themselves because they're afraid? Sure, I'll miss them, but life goes on." Legolas nodded, and we sat in silence for a good few seconds before a voice broke it for the second time.

"What if they felt sorry and wished to apologize for their stupidity or disloyalty, whatever you deem it."

"Especially those who had the nerve to come that close to your face and down right defy you?" The voice was quivering with fear, my evil side wanted to burst out laughing, but I some how managed to control it.

"I suppose I could forgive them, for a hefty price." I turned to smirk at Charlotte who was now standing in front of me shuffling her feet.

"_Lye hiraetha, Nikerym" _(We apologize, Captain.) she said, still not looking me in the eye. I glanced at Legolas who shrugged his shoulders smiling.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to except that apology." I said acting as if I were still angry. Charlotte's head snapped up with a gasp as she locked her tear-filled eyes with mine. It was enough to make me start laughing, and flip off the cross ties I was sitting on. Brego started licking my face while I was there while the rest of the people laughed. "Thanks Brego, at least I know I'm loved."

"I suppose that means you forgive us then?" Charlotte asked timidly walking forward.

"I don't know, Brego, what say you?" He snorted in response, and nodded his head. "Uh huh, should they pay a price first?" Same answer. 'You know I'm beginning to like you, too bad Aragorn already has a claim on you. The horse has spoken, I forgive you, but you owe me." Charlotte launched herself on me, closely followed by Edward and Bart.

"So when do we leave?" Edward asked finally removing Charlotte from me so that I could breathe.

"As soon as I get a horse."

"ESME!" I jumped ten feet in the air, effectively falling off the cross ties again. Aragorn walked in pulling a white horse behind him. "You're chariot awaits, where is she?" I could all see them point the where I was sitting. Behind Brego's front legs. "Aha, I see."

"EWWwwwhooooo! What's this horse's name?" I ran over to the horse, which in turn didn't bite me. Score. I like him already.

"His name is whatever you decide it to be." Aragorn replied shaking his head.

"Hmm….how about Wheat Thins?" They all stared at me, including the horse. "Oh come on, how do you not get that reference?"

**Author's Note:** There you go, first update of 08. It rhymed, yay! Yeah, um anyway……reviews are loved! Happy New Year!


	24. Chapter 24

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** OK, so I'm sorry for the long wait period, I've just had a rather hectic week. So I had this chapter already typed up, and was going to post it on Friday after I went out to celebrate my year anniversary with my boyfriend, but turned out he had a basketball game and didn't get done until like nine, so we waited until after hi game. Then when I got home my sister wouldn't let me use the computer because she was busying talking to people before she left for college again, then I was gonna do it this morning but I practice. After practice I had to take my sister to the airport, and this was the only time I could do it, so, here you go! Enjoy!

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4: **You're probably not the only one. I suppose it helps to have heard wheat referred to as such, anyway, thanks for the review as always. As to the POTC references…you may be getting more than just that in a little while. But I'm mum on such subjects, for now.

**Readerfreak10:** Yay, I'm glad some one got it.

**Hikitsulover-818: **Mwuahahahaa. Maybe.

**Hallows07: **I concur.

Chapter 24: How lovely to see you, really.

It took us about two days to reach the Dunharrow camp, by that time men from all over had begun to gather.

'Make way for the king. Make way." Some random rider was yelling riding through the camp. They acted like he needed a formal introduction; every one knows who he is honestly.

**  
"**Grimbold, How many?" Theoden asked, ignoring how the soldiers were crowding around him. I leaned over the shoulder of my horse to stare down at one of the soldiers that looked like he was about to faint with excitement.

"Boo." The soldier spazzed and ran away, I sniggered before I caught Aragorn's glare. "Fine, ruin my fun you old party pooper." Legolas tsked at me before dismounting and walking over to Theoden and Aragorn.

"I bring five hundred men from the Westfold, my Lord." Grimbold replied bowing down.

"We have three hundred more from Fenmarch, Theoden King." Gamling added once he reached us.

"Where are the riders from Snowbourne?" asked Theoden surveying the tents in front of him.

"None have come, my Lord."

"Pansies." Every head turned to look at me in astonishment. Theoden looked like he was about to ask how a man could possibly be a flower. I just held my hands up and shook my head. Best to humor him. Legolas grabbed my hand and gave me a look to stop being obnoxious, but that's almost impossible for me. I smiled innocently and blinked my eyes.

"Does Lady Esme have something in her eye?" questioned Bart jumping down from his horse to come to the rescue. I bopped him in the forehead, and shook my head no. He just remounted and followed after Theoden and Aragorn who were heading for the higher part of the camp.

"She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes, yee-ha!" I sang before jumping on my horse and beginning to follow the procession.

"Six thousand spears. Less than half of what I'd hoped." Theoden was pacing around his rather luxurious ten while I sat trying to braid his fancy little rug. Yes, he had a rug in his ten, imagine that.

"Six thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor" Aragorn replied not looking Theoden in the face.

"Gah, what a damper you are Aragorn." Is aid looking up from my craft. Aragorn blew a raspberry at me before turning back to Theoden, who continued to pace. "You know, if you keep that up, you might leave a mark." He ignored me.

"More will come."

"Every hour lost hastens Gondor's defeat. We have till dawn. Then we must ride." Aragorn stood and made to leave the tent before turning to me and raising his eyebrow. I finally caught the hint and followed after him. "Do you plan to leave at that time?"

'I was actually thinking a little earlier, so that none saw us leaving and would think we were deserting them." He nodded but didn't reply until we reached his tent.

"You will return then?"

"Duh. Who do you think I am?" He shrugged and lifted the flap of his tent, I caught a glance of a rug in his too, I was about to protest when he cut me off.

"Wait one moment?" I nodded craning my neck to see what else was hidden in his tent. It took a hell of a lot longer than one minute for him to come back out. " Thank you."

"You're lucky you came out when you did, I almost left you because you were taking too long, plus, I really want to go make Gimli jump!" I pointed at the dwarf who was enraptured in Legolas and Eomer's conversation about haunted mountain paths.

"Ah." Aragorn only shook his head before following after me.

None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil." Eomer stated hoping to quell the talk of such a subject; I took that moment to make my presence known by trying, trying being key, to hum some strange eerie creepy song. Gimli was the only person it affected, Legolas snorted, and Eomer merely stared at me, I just smiled and wiggled my eyebrows. Yes I can do that, but can't cock only one up at a time. It's depressing.

"Aragorn!" Gimli shouted knocking Aragorn out of his thought process, you could see the confusion written all over his face. "Let's find some food." Aragorn merely raised his eyebrow and followed after the dunce on a mission.

"Well that was random wasn't it?' I jumped into Legolas, who I'm happy to note made a noise of pain, yes the first one ever, I guess I crushed his toe; when Edward came forward holding Charlotte's hand. "When are we leaving?"

"Tonight.'" I said trying to get my heart to slow down.

'No duh, when tonight?"

"When I say so."

:"You're acting like a child."

"You are a child." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're acting like Jack." That was the bottom line and he knew it, he started to smirk.

"I am not, he's dumb, and…and...he smells funny!" Edward snorted before walking to his tent with Charlotte snickering in tow. "Yeah laugh all you want!!" I stomped my foot, unfortunately Legolas' foot happened to be where I decided to vent my anger. I hope I didn't break anything…

"Who is this Jack?" Legolas asked after the wave of pain had lifted.

"A loser." I huffed and walked to my tent. "By the way, we're leaving before dawn so that we can go without being seen, savvy?" He nodded and followed my in my tent. "What are you doing?" I turned to see him sitting and hopping on my bed. "Is it to you satisfaction?"

" No, no not really." He smiled at me. Flippin nerd.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I turned back to my pack waiting to hear what else he was gonna say, only it never came. I looked back at him to find him passed out on my bed, and this was a chance I couldn't miss out on. I grabbed my face paint, yes, I have face paints for battles, sheesh, show some spirit. Let's say he looks much better now.

"Dear Eru elf, what is on your face?" shouted Gimli upon our arrival to the fire.

"Are you trying to imply something master dwarf?" Legolas said turning his glare on, Gimli tried to sputter out what he was seeing but Legolas ignored him. "Esme? Are you alright?" He caught sight of my trying to stuff my fist into my mouth so I wasn't caught laughing.

"Oh yes, dandy." I snorted, making him look at me funny again. "I love you?" I smiled hoping that would make him stop staring at me.

"And I you…" he shook his head and took a seat on the ground. I excused my self so that I could go get a good laugh. I ran into Aragorn, literally, on my way back to camp.

"What's up sir Aragorn?" I asked curtseying.

"What did you do?" He studied me suspiciously for a few seconds/

'Why do you think I did anything?" He stared at me awhile before saying he was in a hurry, something about meeting with Theoden. Maybe I'll follow; Legolas is coming my direction with a murderous glare on his face, yep, following Aragorn.

"I take my leave." I barely made it out of the way in time, Theoden almost caught me in action, then I would have had to leave. I picked up the corner of the flap and took a look around. Aragorn was left with some cloaked stranger, who looked suspiciously like an elf, and I should know. Wow, just realized how stupid that sounded the thing reaches to pull his hood off, nothing but porcelain skin, and then….

THOSE EYEBROWS!! EGAD! If he doesn't take care of those there going to take over his face one day. I saw Elrond's eyes flash in my direction, he must have heard my hands slapping over my mouth to keep from being heard.

"My lord Elrond." Aragorn bowed in front of him while Elrond continued to stare in the direction of my corner for a few seconds before turning back to Aragorn when he cleared his throat. Man he's a lifesaver even when he doesn't realize it, stupid Ranger.

"I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the Evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows her strength wanes. Arwen's life is now tied to the fate of the ring. The shadow is upon us Aragorn. The end is come." Elrond took a seat, wrapping his cloak around his crossed legs, very much like a girl. But we won't say anything about this to anyone, worth importance anyway.

"It will not be our end, but his." You know what's funny, is this seems very familiar. Like between Aragorn and said King of Edoras, eh, who cares.

"You ride to war, but not to victory. Sauron's armies march on Minas Tirith, as you know. But in secret he sends another force, which will attack from the river. A fleet of Corsair ships sails from the south. They'll be in the city in two days. You're outnumbered, Aragorn. You need more men." Elrond never did come off to me as the one who stated the obvious; I suppose you learn something new everyday.

"There are none." Aragorn sat across from Elrond, thank god he didn't cross his legs, I don't think I would take well with a gay ranger and elf in the same tent. Ew..nasty images. Yech.

"There are those who dwell in the mountain."

"Murderers, traitors. You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one." I could practically hear Aragorn's eyebrow rising up on his forehead.

"They will answer to the king of Gondor!" Elrond whipped out some sword that almost made Aragorn swallow his own foot with amazement. So I exaggerated, but you get what I meant. "Anduril, the Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil."

"Sauron will not have forgotten the Sword of Elendil." Aragorn walked forward placing his hands on the sword like it would break again. If we're not careful, he might have a joy-gasm. Not something anyone wants to see. "The blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith."

"The man who wields the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the Ranger. Become who you were born to be. Take the Dimholt road." It's amazing how creepy his eyebrows make his smirks look, if I wasn't completely enthralled by the importance of this little meeting, I might have gone running away by now.

"_Ónen i-Estel Edain._" (I gave hope to the Dunedain.) Elrond finally covered those puppies back up with his hood.

"_Ú-chebin Estel anim._" (I have kept none for myself.) Well, that's a cryptic way to end a lovely conversation such as that one. Time to take my leave.

By the time I got back to my tent, it seemed Legolas had figured out about his little makeover this afternoon. Poor Gimli was the item of his fury. Gimli was sprouting twigs from hi ears and leaves in his beard and hair, I almost busted my gut trying not to laugh at the surly dwarf. Unfortunately Charlotte wasn't as good as keeping it in.

'What ever happened here master Gimli?" Charlotte asked when she finally caught up with us. He grumbled and glared before walking away and disappearing into what he assumed was his tent. Unfortunately it happened to be Eowyn's. She promptly screeched and threw him out. I had to lean against Charlotte as not to fall into the fire. That's how we were when Legolas approached us.

"Why hello miss Esme, where have you been?" He simpered wearing the most frightening expression I'd ever seen.

"Why taking a walk in the woods, why do you ask?" I smiled innocently and then looked pointedly at Charlotte who was too busy laughing at Legolas' face to help me.

"No reason, just wondering how you could leave such beautiful art work to roam around by itself is all." He shrugged, the strangled expression still present on his face.

"What ever do you mean by that master Legolas?" He pointed at his head, I couldn't help it, when but on the spot like that no one could contain there laughter. I was doubled over laughing when I heard him growl, so I tried to calm myself, I looked back up at him, which sent me into another fit.

"Are you quite finished yet?" HE snarled. I nodded.

"Oh come on, you know if it were me you would have do it too!" I said walking forward to give the poor fuming elf a hug. He stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms. I shrugged and walked by him to Charlotte. I turned back to see his mouth wide open. Little horndog thought he had me. I wiggled my eyebrows and linked arms with Charlotte. "We're leaving soon darling, are you all ready?" I yelled back at the self pitying elf. I heard him curse, but it wasn't elvish, it was in dwarfish language. Been hanging around Gimli too much.

"Yes I am thank you."

"Good now we'll go clean your face. C'mon." I grabbed his hands and drug him half way to the wash stand when I caught sight of Eowyn and Aragorn. I threw Legolas behind a random bush, how convenient, and stared through the branches.

'What in the world was that for?" He asked picking leaves out of his hair. I pointed at them, I'm guessing he saw because he gasped like he saw a ghost or something.

"Why have you come?" He glared at her exasperatedly, wishing for nothing more than to get up on his horse and leave.

"Do you not know?" She looked at him like he was crazy, his mouth literally dropped, he had to know it was coming at some point in time. I felt Legolas make to stand beside me, so I jerked his legging's leg, you know what I mean. HE sat back down in a hurry with his eyes wide open, I couldn't help but laugh at him

"It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek." I punched my fist triumphantly in the air, you don't know how long I've waited to hear him tell her off, but then I felt Legolas tugging on my sleeve, I turned back to see that little prick touching her face. I jumped up and began to march towards him when he finally walked away from Eowyn. It looked like some one had finally told her how bad her cooking was. I left her crying in her little pity party and marched right up to Aragorn.

"Just where do you think you're going mister?"

"Good gracious, can some one not get the chance to leave with dignity!" He yelled up to the sky. 'What is it?'

'Where are you going?" I enunciated every syllable just to help him of course.

"I have a mission."

"Well I should hope you weren't thinking of going alone laddie." I jumped into Legolas' arm when Gimli popped out of nowhere.

"Why must you always do that?" I snarled. He ignored me, I heard Charlotte clear her throat, at least she warned me of her, Edward and Bart's approach. Gimli ignored me.

"Great, a going away party, just what I didn't want." Aragorn sighed exasperatedly at me before jumping on Brego. "Fine Gimli, if just get one and stay quite for the rest of the ride through the encampment you can come, only then." Gimli nodded and struggled a few minutes before finally managing to get on the horse. I smiled at Aragorn, who merely rolled his eyes at me and Legolas, who I realized was still holding me in his arms. I'm not planning on going anywhere soon if you know what I mean. Aragorn and Gimli then headed to the path in the mountains hoping to get the rest of the way without a disruption, I turned to the few of us left, we all looked apprehensive, except for Bart who was looking determinedly away from me and Legolas. What a prat. I jumped out of Legolas' arms and bopped him in the head.

'Wake up Bart; I hope you'll be ready to leave at dawn, the lot of you!" I said pointing to Charlotte and Edward as well, they all nodded before departing to finish readying themselves. "Are you ready? "I asked causing Legolas to jump from surprise, finally caught him off guard.

"As ready as ever I suppose."

'Good, we're leaving soon!" I smiled, gave him a kiss and ran of to my tent.

When morning came we met at the top of the trail heading down from Dunharrow, around us soldiers where gathering whispering rumors about why Aragorn had left, none even close to the true reason. I rolled my eyes and jumped up on Wheat Thins and waited for the other to follow my lead.

'Esme, Legolas! Could you not eat before you depart" I mentally cursed before turning to see Eowyn come running towards us with one of her famous stews. Bart looked ready to oblige but I kicked him in the shin to stop him.

"No thank you Eowyn, we must be going."

'Surely you are hungry?"

"NO. I mean no thank you. We aren't hungry."

"How is that possible?" damn nosy ass prick.

"Because…because elves don't eat? We just don't ever get hungry." I smiled ignoring the incredulous looks the other elves in my party were sending me; I gave a forced smile at Eowyn's bewildered expression.

"But surely I've seen you eat?"

"Yes, but that was an act, I didn't want you to find out the truth, alas seems I have spilled the beans so to speak." Legolas was fixing one of his "Let's see you get out of this one smoothly' smirks, so now I'm determined to make this work.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for forcing you; your secret is safe with me." She smiled at us all, I smirked at Legolas and the others who were staring at her like she was mental, which I don't doubt she was.

'Where may I ask are you going?" I wanted to have Wheat Thins kick her in the jaw, but I refrained I was saved from answering when Eomer walked forward.

"They leave because there is no hope" Eowyn looked startled before turning to face us with tears in her eyes. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Yes my dear sir, I'm leaving because I think you will all fail, so I'm trying to run away so that when it does happened I can be left in a world with nothing but orcs and slaves. Yup, sounds about right." I turned my horse around and signaled to leave. I could feel a prickle in the middle of my shoulders which told me that Legolas was glaring at that point. Great just what I need this whole trip. He rode to the front to catch up with me; can anyone sense a lecture coming my way?

"Why did you do that?"

"Because they were being annoyingly nosy. I like my privacy thank you." He continued to glare. "Not good enough huh?" He shook his head. "Because I felt like being an ass ok? Better?" He nodded and smiled at me. Oh how he would pay. Edward rode forward breaking the silence that fallen upon us both.

"Do you know where we are going?" I fixed him with a glare.

'What do you think Sunshine?"

"No."

"We have a winner." I cheered!

"Well then let me lead us there!" I waved him on rolling my eyes until he rode in front of me. I could hear Legolas' snickering. Edward must have heard it to because it turned back around and glared.

'What is it _Leggy_?" That shut him up; it was my turn to laugh.

"It's beautiful." Was all I could say when I finally reached my ship. "Oh how I'd missed it." I literally flung myself against the side of it, only to have Edward roll his eyes and pry me off of it before carrying me up to the deck. Every eye turned to face the intruders. Or so they thought.

"Is, is, is that the captain?" A random voice called out, I was still in my happy place.

"Aye, it is." replied Bart, pulling our supplies aboard. "Call a meeting; we have a plan to unleash." No one moved. "I said call a MEETING!" He roared, still non one moved. "Have you gone daft while we've been gone?"

'No, we ain't got to listen to the likes o'you no more do we now the Capt.'s back." shouted another sailor. This popped me out of my state of delusion.

"You speak the truth good man; now do as Bart-o-mule says savvy?"

"Aye aye captain!" They rung the bell and began to gather on the deck. I took the time to show Legolas around the ship, hey, he'd never been on one before, it was only right.

"So you see, it is quite lovely is it not?" I asked smiling leaning against the side of the ship, it felt good to be home.

"I'm still a little iffy at the moment, give it a few hours, it might grow on me." The poor elf was already green, and we hadn't even started moving. I moved closer to him and was about to kiss him when we were rudely interrupted.

"Captain, we have some, ah, prisoners if you'd like to call them that." I whirled around to find Rian wringing his hands and blushing, poor little thing, only a minor in years. I smiled and threw my arm around his shoulder; he looked startled out of his mind at the contact.

'Well, take them too my young master. Well, after I change, hold that thought won't you." I pecked Legolas on the cheek and ran off to my chambers. They were still the way I left them, thank Eru. I grabbed a navy blue gown, with sleeves that hung at waist length. I braided my hair to the side as usual and ran back up deck. Legolas smiled and clasped my hand in his, while I motioned for Rian to lead us to the barracks.

"Well well well, look what the Krakken dragged in." I smirked at the man behind the bars. 'Who would have thought you finally got caught, by my men none the less?"

"Well, it wasn't really my fplan to get caught. I was just going to make off with the ship, but then I realized I couldn't do that with only me and this young man here Esme, surely you realize that." The Pirate pointed over his shoulder to the boy sitting behind him, he looked strangely familiar, but not someone I'd met before.

"Captain Jack Sparrow, behind bars at last. " I smirked at the expression on poor old Jack's face. "Jack, who is this boy ye have with you?" I asked placing my hands on my waist, just like him to capture some poor thing for ransom. "Rian, the keys if you please." Rian ran off to catch the dog who held the keys, why we have him I'll never know.

"This here is none other than Bootstrap Bills son." Jack said smiling and wiggling his eyebrows. I merely looked at the boy, he didn't look like much.

'Are you saying his father was a boot?"

Legolas was an idiot.

**Author's Note:** I suppose I should mark it as a cross over now, hmm…alright well. You know the deal, this time though, you get a choice between a freshly baked chocolate brownie, or a Legolas plushy you're the first to review! Woot! Exciting no?


	25. Chapter 25

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Ok so, you don't know how exciting it was for me to check my emails, and to have found out, I know have 100 reviews. Yup, 100. I love you guys to death! Woot, you can tell I'm ecstatic! Anyway, on with the story! 

**Reviews:**

**bubblymuggle4: **Hope you enjoy your little surprise I threw in there! Thanks!

**Hikitsulover-818: **Ahah, that's what made me write it, thinking how awkward that would have been.

**Hallows07:** Well thank you very much!

**Readerfreak10: **Glad you think so!

**jennfire: ** Oh me too! I think I ate about a pound of them by myself!

**Sparkling-stone: ** That was exactly what I was going for; sad thing is that's exactly how I am. Glad you're enjoying the story. P.S. I think it would be a little hard to find me…seeing as I'm never in one for a long time..mwuahaha.

**Lettres d'amour: ** Still gotta love the cutie.

**Slieu13:** Thanks!

Chapter 25: Oh Snap!

"HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS ARE TWINS!" I shouted pointing in between Legolas and Will. They both looked at each other, and then at me like I had ten heads. "What, don't tell me you can't see it..? You can can't you, Jack?"

"A little. Actually quite a lot." He caught sight of my glare obviously.

"Good, problem solved. I suppose I'll let you out now, I've got a meeting to attend, do be a good pirate and stay away from the Bridge?" I said patting Jack on the back as he walked out of the cell.

"Fine." He huffed and puffed like a little kid until Will boxed him in the ear, which started an all out slap battle that only ended when Jack ran into a wall. Dear Eru, what have I gotten myself into?

"What's going on then captain?" Rian pushed his way through the crowd to reach where Legolas, Jack, Will, Edward, Bart, Charlotte, and I stood watching the crew get settled.

"Well for starters, it's great to be back!" I shouted smiling, the crew just stared at me suspiciously, they were already on to me I bet. "Right well, here goes, no use beating around the bush, I mean really just get straight to the point is what I always say…"

"You're beating around the bush darling." Jack said cutting me off.

"Ah, so I am anyway….here goes nothing. Ithinkweshouldhelptheraceofmeninthebattleagainstsauronbecauseitisinourbestinterestaswell." I smiled at all the confused looks I was getting. Perfect, they didn't need to know what they were getting into.

"Wait a minute.." Damn .There always had to be a smart one. "You want us to sacrifice our lives for those of men?" shouted someone in the very back row.

"Precisely" Jack smiled at the crew who had now focused all attention on him.

"Jack, what are you doing?" I forced a smile at him.

"Only trying to help."

"Whatever. Anyways, technically it is in your best intrest. Because, if we don't help them fight and they lose, which the most likely will, we shall be negatively effected as well….because…..we…won't…we just will be."

"How so?" Someone should throw him over board.

"Because we'll run out of RUM!" Jack piped up from behind Edward. All of us turned to give him a strange look; he shrugged his shoulder in return.

"Yes." I said rolling my eyes." We'll run out of places to get rum."

"RUM? BUT WHY THE RUM?" shouted most of the crew.

"Because-"

"Because there will be no one to make anymore if all the men are killed." I turned to glare at Jack, he was stealing my spotlight. "Only trying to help love."

"AYE! We shall fight in this war! FOR THE RUM!" the crew stood and shouted agreement to the statement, my mouth was literally on the floor. I turned to look at Jack confusedly.

"Just threaten to take their rum, and pirates will do anything." He shrugged and waltzed towards the hull of the ship. I turned to Legolas who merely raised his eyebrow and shrugged.

"I hate pirates." I grumbled and stalked to the end of the ship. "Release the mooring line, release full sails, we've got no time to waste!" I leaned against the side of the ship waiting for us to finally make departure.

"Esme, where are we headed?"

"DEAR ERU! Can you stop sneaking up on me! I almost fell over board Will…er…Legolas…er…Will?!" I shouted trying to figure out which one it was, then I saw the ears, obviously it was Legolas. He was glaring quite ferociously now. "Sorry, my fault Legolas."

"Right. Where then?"

" Umm…I guess to the port closest to Minas Tirith." I smiled hoping it would help lessen the wound of being called Will. HE snorted and turned to leave. 'Oh come on, you can't blame me for calling you the wrong name! I mean you have to know you guys look alike, I mean it's not like I tried to kiss Will or anything?" I started waving my hands around like that was preposterous, until I saw Legolas face. 'Oh dear, I didn't say a word. I mean honestly, that can't happen, you know that!" His eyes looked like they were gonna pop out of his head, he turned and started to walk to where Will was talking with Jack. I took a running start and jumped on his back, and by the time he had gotten over to them, we both ended up rolling down the stairs and we finally got untangled Willa and Jack were laughing at our misfortune, so I lobbed a boot at Will, missed and hit Jack in the head, who fell down the stairs as well.

"Whose turn is it to laugh now?" grumbled Legolas making to stand, he slipped and fell back down.

'Mine still, apparently." Jack said grabbing the railing to help him up, he didn't get far before Legolas whacked the back of his knees making him fall again. Legolas was wearing a smirk until Jack returned the favor while Legolas was mid standing. I just sat and watched with interest, who would have thought Legolas to do such things?

"ARE YOU TWO THROUGH YET!" shouted Will making his way down the stairs, he slipped on some random hat lying on the stairs, Jack and Legolas stopped mid trip, looked at each other and bent over laughing. Will stood up and marched over to them and started yelling about being rude and obnoxious, and that's how my crew found us. Two laughing while being yelled at, while I sat on the floor crying with mirth.

"Do you think she's been gone so long that she already has scurvy?" Bart asked looking at me weirdly, that shut me up in a hurry.

"I most certainly do not have scurvy!" I placed my hands in my hip and thrust my nose in the air. "That's a preposterous notion!"

"What's scurvy? Sounds like a dance to me." Legolas said coming to stand next to me. This statement through Jack into a new laughing fit, Will now joining him. I started to chuckle until I saw his famous glare.

"Ok I'm sorry, I just have never met anyone who said scurvy sounded like a dance, I mean, come on, that's ridiculous." He continued to glare only now he had one eyebrow up. "Fine, scurvy a disease you get from a lack of nutrients of something. But there's no way I have it! No worries!" I added after catching his worried expression.

"No wonder the poor elf has so many wrinkles; he's had to be around you so long." Jack said standing to throw his arm around Legolas' shoulder, Legolas turned and glared at him, Jack pulled his arm off his shoulder and tried to play it off as nothing.

"I do not have wrinkles." Legolas pouted. It was just so darned cute I had to contain myself from glomping him right then and there.

"He would know too." I said acting like that was a ridiculous notion. "Or else I would have already counted them! He does everything in his power to keep his 'manly' physique." Will sniggered, but readily stopped when Legolas turned to glare at him. "Now, if he keeps glaring, he might actually form some glare lines on his forehead." This made the brunt of the glare land on me.

"I will not." Her huffed before crossing his arm and sticking his bottom lip out. You'd think he was still an elf ling the way he was acting. The crew just shook there head and left us standing there with a sulking elf. "Will I?" he whispered to me when everyone was gone. I couldn't help but laugh, he looked like his darkest nightmare was coming true. I swear, I thought he was gonna start hyperventilating.

"No, I was just kidding!" I said holding my hands up in his face. He let out the breath he had been holding for literally five minutes. I nearly expected him to place his hand on his chest and act like some girl about it. But he just smiled and headed after Jack. Now it was my turn to breathe, I always knew he was a pansy.

"You know, we've been on this ship for at least three days, and we still haven't gotten to your destination, but mine, is only a couple leagues from here, at most." Jack said trying to get my attention, he'd been bugging me to let him lead us to some strange island to help end some curse and kills some baddie pirates.

"Jack, no! I've made my mind, and even if I hadn't I wouldn't do that. I could drop you off on some island and let you swim there if you like!"

"No! No more islands. "He started shaking his head and hands, so I just turned to look at Will…er…I think it's Will?

"He must have run out of back hair."

"Right…" What a strange group of people.

"Esme love, couldn't you just take me to my ship! Then me and Will would be off your hands forever! Not to mention, Will's missing his bonnie lass that's on my ship. Surely you can recognize what that feels like."

"I assure you, I can't. Not interested in other women, sorry. And why are you on my ship, if you have a ship?"

"He doesn't." I turned to look at Will who was trying his best to hide behind Legolas so that Jack wouldn't find him.

"I do so! Stop telling lies Legolas! I don't know you well enough yet!" Jack said brandishing his finger at him.

"I didn't say a word! It was your little friend here!" Legolas said pointing to Will who waved at Jack.

"Anyway, sorry about your girl, but I've got more important things to deal with." I patted Will, I think it's Will on the shoulder, and wrapped my arms around Legolas.

"I'm already taken, remember, we just had this conversation."

"SHIT! Sorry Will!" I ran over to stand next to Legolas who was laughing at my insane blush. "Yeah yeah, yuk it up you big pansy."

"Can't you just help us to rescue Elizabeth, then you can go on you're merry way to war. Please, I'm begging you." Will said, practically falling to his knees. I looked to Edward who shrugged.

"What say you Edward, should I help these two blighters in need?"

"I don't know, you're the captain, you have to decide." Edward shrugged before running away from the pail aimed at his head.

"Fat lot of help you are!" I shook my fist at his retreating back until jack cleared his throat bringing me back to the matter at hand. "Oh fine, we'll go save the girl, and then we'll go to war. First, what do I get out of this?"

"More people to fight in this war with you." Jack said smiling.

"Oh boy, one more person, fat lot that will do."

"Two."

"What?"

"There will be two."

"Two what, Jack, what are you going on about?"

'Two more people to fight in this war with you. Will and his lass."

"HEY! If we're fighting, you're going to fight to you cheating pirate!" Will stood to hit Jack, who ran behind Legolas, who looked confused, as usual. 'Don't make decisions for us, if we fight, you fight."

"Ah but see, we're not going to rescue my girl, so I am in no way in debt to this fine pirates as you are good sir."

'Actually, I believe you will be." Oh-ho, so Legolas had been paying attention.

"How so good elf?" Jack said through a forced smile.

"You'll be getting your ship back as well, will you not?" Jack looked as if he could have hit Legolas, but decided better of it considering he was an elven warrior, ad Jack was, well, just Jack.

"Aha! Jack Sparrow you will have to fight now!" Will shouted jumping around like he'd won some ferocious battle.

"It's Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack said sulking.

"Won't be until you're on your ship I'm afraid. Here's a deal, if I help you to get your girl, and your ship, then you must help me fight in the war. I won't budge on any part of it."

"Um, I guess it wouldn't do to say, Parlay would it?" Well he just beat Legolas out for the stupidest statement I'd ever heard.

"No, it wouldn't. Stupid." I shook my head and turned to Will for there decision.

"Done." I reached to shake his hand only to have it slapped away by Jack.

"No, it is not done." He turned to glare at Will. "I told you not to do something stupid." He whispered.

"I can hear you."

"Damn you elves and your hearing." Jack muttered before turning back around.

"Done." Will said over his shoulder.

"STILL NOT DONE!' Jack shouted trying t hide Will behind his dread locks. 'I'm CAPTAIN SO I GET TO DECIDE!"

"Captain of what ship might I ask?" Legolas, the poor confused elf.

"No ship." Will said smirking at Jack.

"I have a ship. It's just not with me." Jack turned back to me. "I say what is done, and I don't like the deal."

"Then no ship." He shrugged. "Or anymore of my rum. And you still have to fight in the war."

"But why the rum?" I shrugged and turned to walk away before he ran to cut me off. "Fine, it's done. But can I have some rum now?" I rolled my eyes and nodded before walking around him.

"I suppose you should turn the ship to port side, we're making a pit stop my friends!"

"Why, does someone have to go to the potty?" Bart asked looking down form the crows nest. The entire crew had a sweat drop moment.

"So how exactly do you want us to save this girl, and get you're ship?" I asked Jack as we boarded the dinghies to use to get to shore. Will, Jack, Legolas and I where in one, while Bart Edward, Rian, and Charlotte filled the other.

'Well, here was what I was thinking. We could all rush in, scare the bloody pirates, end the curse, kill them all and then happily row out to the Pearl sitting behind those shoals there. With Miss Swan of course." We all stared at him, what an idiot. "Only joking."

"Fine, I'll decide, Edward take your ship and go out to the pearl, make it ready to sail. I'll take my ship and we'll rescue said girl, and meet you back at the Pearl, once upon the ship, we shall return to our own, and Jack will follow us to port, savvy?" Edward nodded before signaling to head out.

"Why can't I go with them to the ship?" Jack asked looking longingly in the direction of the Black Pearl.

"Because we know you'll never come back." I think it was Will said starting to row towards the caves.

"I'm still not exactly sure where we are." Yup, that must be Legolas, as confused as ever when it comes to the sea. See if we were on land, he'd be the one directing us everywhere, I finally found something I'm better than him at! Woot! Victory dance.

" Esme, you're rocking the boat." Opps, can't do that then.

"We're now entering the Isla de Muerta. Now we must all be quiet, and not do, anything, stupid." He gave a pointed look at Will before rowing into the darkness of the cave.

"Look, through there, they're all gathered right there. And Elizabeth, she's at the top. Do you see it? "Will whispered pointing through the hole in the wall we were hiding behind.

"Yes, believe me, if you can see it, we can see it better." I said patting Will on the back, hoping he would calm down soon.

"For ten years we've been tested and tried, and each man jack of you here has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!" Some old man was standing at the top of a mound of treasure brandishing his dagger around like a maniac, if he wasn't careful he was going to take that poor girls head off. She must have realized it too because she stuck her next a little to the right so he couldn't hit her. "Punished, we were. The lot of us - disproportionate to our crimes! Here it is ..the cursed treasure of Cortés himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned...save for this. " He pointed the dagger at the girls neck causing Will to try to run forward.

"Not yet!" Jack snapped holding him back.

"Why won't you just let me shut him from here?" Legolas asked, only he didn't whisper it, and even the deafest of people could have heard him, and they did.

"Who's there?" asked the man who I am guessing is the captain. "We already know you're there, we heard you, no use hiding now." I heard something slide and turned to see Jack slinking slowly back to the dinghy to make a get away, I nudged my head to get Legolas' attention; he caught my drift and jumped on Jack so he couldn't move.

"Wow, wow, wow. What, a touching story" I stood and stepped over the wall to get in the light of the room. "Man, I'm glad I came all this way, to find out about this lovely story. Man, it just makes my heart sing." I placed a hand over my heart and smiled at the pirates who were looking at me as confused as hell. I looked at Elizabeth who was staring at me warily, and then back down to the pirates who were still staring so I did the most mature thing; and made a weird face back.

"You are rather immature aren't you?" Legolas asked form the floor, guess he saw my expression.

"You wouldn't like me any better if I weren't."

"Who are you?" The captain asked walking to me, he left Elizabeth unattended, so I started waving my hands like a maniac for her to start running away, she only looked at me like and idiot.

"GO STUPID!!!" I shouted The Captain raised his eyebrow. "I mean GO, AWAY STUPID TEARS! Your sad story, man it turned on the water works." I acted like I was crying, and caught her making a face of understanding before heading down the back side of the mound she was standing on. At least she understood common.

"Of course, who did you say you were again?" He was getting closer, he smelled like decaying meat.

"Ew, man, they have stuff to help that odor." I wrinkled my nose trying not to throw up.

"Who are ye!" He shouted, his breath was even worse than his B.O.

"I, am a poor shipwrecked maiden, lost at sea." I pretended to fake cry until I noticed he wasn't buying it. "Fine, what do you want from me?"

"Your name would be nice."

"I'm, Captain, er….Speedy Clack Clack Clack." His eyebrows rose up to his hairline. "My ship crashed on the other side of this island, and I swam in and found myself this cave full of treasure, and decided to stay." He narrowed his eyes.

"Did ye take any treasure out of the chest?"

"No, why should I have? Is it the best? You know I thought it was gonna be the best, but I changed my mind and went for,..that….crown. Over there. Ain't it a beaut?"

"Good. Now I won't feel so bad killing ye." He smiled before turning to leave. Shit, I knew he was gonna find out Elizabeth was missing and go looking for her; I just hope she got away.

"Wait! Why would kill me? I've done nothing to you." I smiled my most dashing smile, and caught Will and Elizabeth sneaking behind me, Legolas motioned for me to hurry up and leave. "Oh fine, if you must, shoot me now. At least I won't have to smell you anymore. Gah." I spread arms out and stood waiting to hear the shoot go off, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see him just staring at me. "What?"

"Ye are a strange one. I like you."

"Oh man, I'm sorry; I'm already involved with some one. Some one you might now. In fact, I know you know him. His name is Jack, Captain Jack Sparrow." I smiled at the fact that I could practically hear Jack's mouth fall open.

"Are ye now? Well don't that beat all? Did ye hear that lads? He lived." They all shouted in outrage. I smiled. "How is it he came to survive then?"

"You know, all I've heard, is it had something to do with back hair, but I'm not sure how. But I can tell you guys don't like him, so, if you let me go, I can kill him for you. A life for a life? Eh? Fair enough?" The man started laughing, his hot breath getting all in my face. I closed my eyes and scrunched my nose hoping to stop at least some of the smell from knocking me out.

"Would you know?"

"Yup, I would." I smiled, he started to laugh, more stanky air coming my way. "Got mints?" I whispered, I heard Legolas snicker, but Captain Stinky didn't hear me.

"Fine, a deals a deal." He did this weird thing with his eyes and then turned back around to head back amongst his pirates, as soon as he had turned all the way around I was about to run, he whipped back around, I caught myself mid flight and smiled. "Tell him I said hello before you do it, won't ye?"

"Certainly." I said smiling.

"Thank ye." He made to turn, I turned to run, but I heard him turning back around so I smiled and waited. "Thank him for my ship won't ye?"

"Definitely." I nodded. He made to turn again, so I began to turn. 

"And for my loyal crew, and all this treasure. Make sure you enunciate loyal won't ye?"

"Sure. Anything." He nodded and began to turn around, but whipped back around, I cut him off. "In fact I'll tell him you said thanks for the hat, thanks for letting you be captain, thanks for all the good times of watching you standing on that island, and thanks most of all, for dying. Sound good?" I was now giving him a smile I know looked insane. He nodded and turned, and stayed that direction and walked down the hill. I took that chance to jet out of there.

"Well, that went well." I said smiling once I reached the dinghy. No body moved. "Well, it wouldn't be a good idea to just sit here like this considering they're probably gonna come running and screaming trying to find both me and this girl. So.. MOVE!" Legolas and Jack started rowing faster than I'd ever seen them do it before. "Much better. Now, my name is Esme, and I assume you are Elizabeth?" I stuck my hand out for her to shake; she just looked at it disgustedly.

"It's Miss Swann." Why that little my temper. I forced a smile.

"Elizabeth, she just helped to save you, be nice." Will whispered furiously.

"But she is a pirate." Elizabeth said just as nicely.

"She's sitting right here, and can hear everything you're saying. Now, Elizabethhhhh," I smirked at her glare, "I just helped to save your little damsel in distress self, so you could at least act a little bit more thankful. Or if you want, I can throw you over board now to be found by those enraged pirates, who would most likely drain every once of blood in your body just to make sure they didn't chose the wrong person. You're choice darling." I smiled at the incredulous look she was giving me. Will looked scared himself. "Now then, I wonder if Edward and the others got everything fixed up right for leaving, we'll have no time to waste."

"I'm sure they have." Legolas said through his chuckles.

"I'll have you know, they can walk under water." Jack piped up, looking queasy. "And they will most likely follow us to where ever we go." I felt my heart drop.

"Thanks for that lovely bit of information you've decided to give us so late." I smiled; I could feel my eye twitching.

"Esme, are you alright?" Legolas whispered, looking frightened.

"Fantastic, I just feel like I had a conversation with Death itself, and now I know that Death is indeed following me to war. Lovely omen wouldn't you say?" I smiled broadly at the occupants of the dinghy. "Oh by the way, Jack, I'm supposed to kill you and the Captain said thanks for a lot of things before I kill you, so there you go. And now seems like a good time to end you're life you no good lying cheat. "I lunged at him only to have Will grabbed me around my waist and sit on my lap to keep me from moving.

"That will have to wait until we've gotten aboard the pearl and won't have to be worried about getting caught." Will said trying to calm me down.

"Good idea Will and look it's there." Jack said pointing to the ship looming a few leagues away form us. "So, please, wait until I've had sometime to say good bye to it." I nodded before sitting down in the back of the dinghy and sulked.

"Stupid Pirates."

**Author's Note:** So tell me what you think! And just to let you know, this event will play a big role in the next few chapters; it just wasn't a time waster! Hope you enjoy! This weeks prize, a wonderful, manly, good boy gone pirate, WILL TURNER, in the flesh. Enjoy!


	26. Chapter 26

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note: ** I'm back again! I hope you enjoyed to last chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! Anyway, for all of you that are reading this story and my other story, Big brother, I just want to say that I haven't stopped writing that story, right now I've just been focusing my attention on finishing this one, Big Brother will be completed, I promise. Anyway, here you go!

**Reviews:**

**Readerfreak10:** Thank you as always!

**GwenevieveGreenleaf:** I'm glad you think so! I wrote that last chapter enjoying some mac and cheese myself, so I can understand you're thoughts.

**Hallows07**:Cheers!

**emerald lady:** Mwuahahaah…soon my friend, soon.

**Hikitsulover-818:** Thanks! I loved them toO!

Chapter 26: Stupid Parrot.

**Legolas' POV**

"ESME!! Please I've only just gotten back on my ship after such a long time! Let me get reacquainted with her before you end my life, please!" Jack squealed trying to dodge Esme who was going on a rampage destroying anything she came in contact with. Just ask Will, he couldn't feel his right arm anymore.

'YOU STUPID IMBECILE! You could have mentioned they were undead pirates! "OH, he just barely missed the sword she just threw at his head.

"Aye, Legolas sir, what has Jack done to anger the maiden so?" I turned to see Jack's first mate, Gimp, er, whatever his name was staring at me in awe. Yes, my ears are pointed and I'm rather tall, big deal.

"He didn't tell her the pirates we met back there were cursed and can walk under water. Which means, they're most likely going to follow us to our next destination." I crossed my arms, and smiled when I saw Esme had Jack cornered between the mast and herself.

"I've got you now, you sneaking coward!" She lunged and barely missed him as he began to climb up the mast.

"Aye, I would be angry as well." Gimp said nodding watch Esme throw things at Jack who was still climbing to reach safety.

"I'm sure. Esme, that's quite enough, you can kill him after he comes down, I need to ask you something." She looked like a mad woman when she turned to face me, it's a good thing I already fell in love with her or I might never have fallen for her with that face. "Smile?" She forced an ugly smile, threw one last pail up at Jack, and walked over to grab my hand.

"You know what I think is funny?" She smiled down at our entwined hands and then looked back up at me. "You're the male in this relationship, and you have softer hands than I do." I blanched and hand jerked my hand away.

'What are you implying?"

"Nothing." She hastily planted a kiss on the corner of my mouth before running off to find Edward, I suppose. Really, what did she mean?

"Why are you staring at your hands? They don't look any different to me mate. By the way, thanks for saving me." Jack slapped his arm around my shoulder, I turned to glare at him, he gracefully removed his arm like nothing happened.

"I wasn't helping you, she had just run out of ammo." I smirked while his grin slid off his face.

'Mad temper that one's got, how are you gonna handle that?" Jack shook his head before walking over the where Will nursed his throbbing arm. 'Gibbs!" Ah so that was that thing's name! 'Get a sling for Master William would you?" I snorted and walked to find where Esme had gone hiding.

"EDWARD! Where is our ship?" Esme snarled smacking her fist on the table.

"Well, gulp, they were supposed to meet us around this time today right here, but they're not here." I'm glad I wasn't that poor elf, she looked like she would tear him limb from limb and not care.

"You're joking right??" Charlotte shook her head no. Esme, turned red in the face, looked at me, smiled sweetly and then turned back to Edward and Charlotte. 'Who did you leave in charge?"

"Corolla." I don't remember that one.

"Ah, that would explain it! You know that dummy can't tell his left from his right! They're probably lost back somewhere in Rivendell for all we know!" She threw her arms in the air before stalking out of the room. I followed her over to the railing where she proceed to leave fingernail marks in the wood. She tensed when she felt me wrap my arms around her.

"_Suula, Melamin." _(Breathe, my love.) I felt her huffed before turning to face me.

"I believe I've become bipolar." She nodded before turning back to face onto the ocean. 'I wonder how Aragorn is fairing, with no one but that dwarf to deal with." I smiled at the thought of Aragorn shoving Gimli off into some bush and leaving him there. I shouldn't be mean, Esme does that for me.

"I don't know, we'll see soon." I replied resting my head on top of hers. I wonder if she can see hear Jack trying to sneak by us.

"Jack, you're so loud I could have shot you in the dark." Hey! She stole that line; she must have known what I was thinking because she winked at me before ducking under my arms to get around me. "You wouldn't be trying to escape me now would you?" Oh it was funny to see that human quake.

'Now what would ever make you think that Esme? I would never try to escape such beauty." Hold it there buddy, she's mine.

"Cheap talk for a two timing pirate." She still held that smirk on her face before brandishing a shoe out of nowhere. I always wonder where she obtains these random clothing articles she is known for throwing. "Do you know what this is?' She asked, her smirking growing wider.

"Ah, fancy that, a shoe." Jack's eyes were fixed on the heel of the shoe.

'Not just any shoe, a steel toed shoe." Oh she was evil.

"Even better." Jack started slowly backing away, but Esme matched his every step. Maybe I should help the poor blighter, after all, he, well, he, um…he never did anything actually. I really wish I had some peanuts to eat while watching this.

"Did you say peanuts?" Jack was instantly at my side.

"I said that out loud?" Esme gave me a sympathetic nod, I've been around her too long.

"Do you have any?" Jack started to sniff me trying to find my 'hidden stash of delicacy" as he called it. Does a peanut even have a smell? 'AHA! I think I've found one!" He grabbed my quiver and yanked it off my shoulders, knocking me over in the process.

"DON'T DUMP THAT OUT YOU IDIOT! THEN I HAVE TO PICK THEM ALL UP! GIVE IT TOO ME!" I could hear Esme laughing at the two of us tugging on the quiver for two very different reasons. Plus, if there was a peanut in there, it was mine anyway. I finally jerked the thing away from Jack, and gave him a good smack on the head with it before replacing it on my back. Heathen of a man really.

"Now what could be in that bag that you want no one to see, hmm, my dear Legolas." Her whisper in my ear made it twitch and I tensed, she giggled before grabbing my quiver and running off with it. Damn these hormones.

'Esme! Give it back." It was a very special quiver, from my father when he taught me how to use bow.

'Why should I? How are you gonna make me?" She stuck her tongue out before running up to the top deck. She could be insufferable at times.

"There are a few ways I could make you give that back." And there were a few ways I could think of…mwuwaahha. Ahem. She tried very hard to raise her eyebrows, sadly each effort failed, and she knew it. I took the chance to grab her and try to wrestle the thing from her grasp. Damn her strength. That sounded really wimpy, let's pretend, I never said that.

"Can't get it can you?" She taunted, laughing full out in my face. I'm never one to lose. Ok, maybe I am…but not today! "Why are you looking at me like that? Legs…what are you doi-" the moment she closed her mouth I kissed her ,I could feel her letting go of the quiver, but I think that can wait for a minute.

"ESME!" We both jumped apart blood red, Esme quickly dropped the quiver and smoothed her hair down. 'We've spotted our ship!"

"Have you now?" she winked at me before meeting Edward as he climbed the stairs. 'It's about time. I'm ready to get off this ugly ship."

"Excuse me! It's is a beautiful ship thank you very much!" I saw her jumped when she heard Jack speak. He is a fan of materializing out of thin air. As is Edward, much to my dislike.

"I would have to disagree with you there Master Jack, especially now that Hurricane Esme has blown through it." Gibbs said, he too was a fan.

"Esme's still standing right here!" She waved her hand as if to catch everyone's attention. Gibbs grunted before looking back at Jack. "Where to after we drop this lot off on their own ship, Cap't?"

'To war!" Esme said pumping her fist into the air, she really was a child at times, but that's one of her best qualities.

"I don't believe I was asking ye." Gibbs said glaring at her. She stuck her tongue out at him before coming to stand by me.

"You didn't need to, I was telling you." she wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a hundred watt smile before turning to glare at Gibbs. "Just ask Jack, he agreed to it." Gibbs looked at Jack, flabbergasted.

'She threatened me with Rum mate, what could I do." Gibbs gave an understanding nod. Pirates, a dodgy group.

"Well, we're leaving your ship in a few hours, afterwards, just follow behind us." She smiled and turned to me. "That way they'll be the first ones met by the stupid undead pirates." I snorted, she was rather mean to this poor creatures.

"I heard that, you're going to leave us to be captured by those other pirates aren't you?" We turned to see Elizabeth glaring at Esme like she was some nasty thing on her shoe.

'Damn that insufferable girl. Damn her to hell." Esme continued to stream curses until I smacked hand over her mouth, just for old time's sake.

"Of course not, why would we ever do that?" I asked smiling.

'Because you're pirates." She said moving her neck in a very strange matter, almost like a snake. Fascinating.

"I'll have you know, I am no pirate!" I crossed my arms and glared down my nose at her. She did the weird neck thing and raised her eyebrow.

'Then why are you with her?"

'Because if I wasn't, I probably would have ended up with someone like you. Snobby and annoying to boot." Her mouth opened and closed like a fish. Yes, I was rude, to a woman none the less. "Besides, I love her." Elizabeth continued to blow air like a dying fish.

"Well, I'm coming with you on your ship, and you shouldn't disagree with me if you aren't trying to set it up so that I'm captured again." She said glaring triumphantly like she'd won something.

'Sorry hun, we've reached maximum capacity with this one aboard." Esme prodded her thumb in my chest and nodded her head. I nodded with her, wait, is she calling my fat? I turned to ask her but she gave a subtle shake of her head, I guess she wasn't.

'Then he should stay here so I can go on your ship." Elizabeth glared at me and crossed her arms. I wonder if she knew who she was talking too?

"I'll make my own decisions very much, and you can't tell me what to do. I'm going with Esme, and your ass is staying on the Pearl. End of discussion." by the time I was finished everyone was staring at me with mouths open. 'What?"

"You. Just. Cussed." Esme said her mouth touching the floor.

"Oh bother." I flicked my wrist; they should hear me when I'm no duty.

"Just who are you to talk to me like that! Do you know who I am?" Elizabeth was so close in my face I could smell her breath, it was quite disgusting. "I'm the Governor's daughter; you have no right to talk to me like that!" I gave Esme a look, she was busy trying to stuff her fist into her mouth so as not to be heard laughing, before turning back to Elizabeth whose nostrils were raging like a bulls.

"I'm the Prince of Mirkwood actually. " Her face turned this nasty white color and she quickly backed away from me and started apologizing profusely. Eru I hate it when people do that. 'Stop, I really wish you hadn't made me do that. I hate it when people treat me like that." She stopped her stammering, but she was still breathing really hard.

"You're ship is about a league away." I heard Esme cuss, and turned to find her in Jack's arms, I suppose Will scared her when he spoke. Sometimes I wonder if she really is an elf, she's forever getting frightened by that.

'Thanks Will, you guys ready to go?' She turned to Edward and I, who nodded, before she skipped down to the cabins to find Charlotte.

"Where did you come from?" I asked Bart when he appeared out of no where to return back to the Daerochon.

"I've been here the whole time." He stared at me like I was crazy. I really never saw him our whole stay on the Pearl. I turned to Esme who just shrugged before jumping into the dinghy. I followed suit shaking my head the whole time. Behind us, Jack, Will and Elizabeth, were loading their own dinghy to come finalize plans. I thought it was easy, get on their ship, get killed by those pirates while we go to war? What's so difficult about that? Apparently a lot.

"Well, it'll feel good to finally get back aboard my vessel." Esme was sprawled out across the back side of the dinghy, her foot resting on my knee. I wonder what she would do if I tickled her foot…hmmm…"I wouldn't do that if you want to keep your nose the shape it is." Darn. Caught in the act.

"They're arrived! Through down the ladder." I looked up to see some pirate glancing back down at us.

"Don't forget to drop the anchor first Corolla, it wouldn't do for the ship to be moving while we're trying to board." Esme said rolling her eyes, maybe this Corolla person really was a simpleton.

'Aye aye Captain!" Corolla nodded to some one aboard the ship before throwing the ladder over board. It almost hit Bart, shame it didn't. Note to self, must stop being cruel.

"Um Legolas dear, are you planning on staying in the dinghy then? 'I looked up to see Esme waving at me from the deck of the ship.

'You could have told me it was my turn you know." I huffed before beginning the ascent.

"But you looked so deep in contemplation." I blanched, who knew she knew such words? Damn, stop!

"So it would seem." I nearly dropped my hold on the ladder when I heard some random voice. How many new people would I have to deal with?

"Commodore!" Elizabeth ran over to some man standing in the middle of the ship like he owned it.

"Elizabeth, I thought we would never find you!" He leaned to wrap her in a hug when Will came out of nowhere and stuck his hand out.

'Nice to see you again Commodore Norrington.' This commodore man looked anything but happy about seeing Will.

"Mister Turner, what a pleasant surprise, spending time with pirates now are we?" I could hear Esme cussing about intruders on her ship, I knew this was coming.

'So it would seem you are too." Will shot back, not moving from between Elizabeth and Norrington.

"Only to find Miss Elizabeth I assure you. It wasn't by choice." Norrington spat, Will merely wiped the residue off his face. That's disgusting.

'Well, it's not by my choice, that I return to my ship and have it covered by RED COATS! And it definitely wasn't by CHOICE!" Esme shouted right in Norrington's ear. I bet he'll be deaf for a few weeks. 'Now that I have your undivided attention."

"I'm listening." He was busy trying to regain the hearing in his right ear still. I knew that would happen. Esme turned to Jack, grabbed his sword and pointed it straight into Norrington's face. She is rather violent at times. I went to lower her sword but Will yanked me back. "I'm listening, intensely."

"Will, let me go, she' gonna kill a man." I said rolling my eyes, if I really wanted to get away he couldn't hold me back, he just shook his head and continued to watch with a rather sadistic gleam in his eye. Humans. Dwarves as well it would seem.

"Excellent. You will now remove your self and your crew from my ship, and never come back, or else. Oh, how ominous did that sound?" She turned laughing at me. Norrington merely rolled his eyes.

"Leave him alone!" Elizabeth jumped in front of Esme, and if I believe what I'm seeing, her smirk just got even bigger.

"If you don't move, I shall run you down as well." She said, more for show than truth. Norrington scoffed and Elizabeth raised her eyebrow. "You don't think I will?"

"_Amin umilnow ro lledur." _(I don't think he believes you.) She narrowed her eyes end turned back to Norrington, dropping the sword while she was at it. A lot of good will come from that.She took a step forward knocking Elizabeth out of the way as she went; I have half a mind to think she really would have hurt her, had it not been for Will.

" _Lleum ro risamin?"_ (Do you think I lie?) He gulped and took a step back.

'What? What did you say?" He continued to back away as she advanced he signaled for his little lackeys to come help him, they didn't move either. Esme is quite frightening when she's angry.

"LEAVE!" They were rushing to their boats before she even stopped screaming. 'Perfect."

"Commodore! You don't have to go anywhere." Elizabeth ran to the side of the ship and tried to convince him to return aboard, all he did was babble and point behind her. We all turned to see Esme looming over her; it was like she was making all the light around her go out, it was down right creepy.

'You can join him if you like." Her hands were twitching as if she wanted to throw her overboard to go with them. Elizabeth shook her head frantically and ran over to Will who hugged her. Esme stopped looming. Thank Eru.

"Must be her time of the month." I heard Jack whisper to Gibbs, before he was knocked over by a pail pitched at him. That was it, I just started laughing. "What's wrong with him I wonder?"

'Legolas?" Esme asked coming closer to me, I was bent over laughing and had to hold my hand up.

"Sim?" I had finally caught my breath and stood to find everyone staring at me.

"That was something we expected out of a lunatic like Esme, but not you really." Jack then received a kick in the shin by Esme, who smiled at me before tackling me in a smothering hug. Hey, I'm not one to complaining.

"Legolas?"

"You still smell good." Sweat drop anyone?

**Author's Note:** Thought I would try it in a different POV for a change, it'll be back to normal soon I promise, but let me know if this was any good for him? Anyway, you know the deal!


	27. Chapter 27

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Note:** Well, I just thought I would try something new with the last chapter, but it's going back to Esme's point of view. I just saw the movie Cloverfield and I just need to vent so here goes. **includes spoilers, please do not read if you haven't seen movie yet** They all died because of that one stupid girl who was such a lameo and had to storm away from the party in a fit of rage. If she had stayed at the party and had fun, they all would have lived! And what's up with that lame ending, I seriously sat in the theater until the end of the credits thinking something else was going to happen. I mean over all, it was a great movie, except for them ALL DYING! Okay, so one girl lived, actually, I don't even know if she lived, she probably died too. AND THEN! They killed off my favorite character in the whole movie, Hud. I swear, he made me laugh the entire movie, and then he got eaten. Gah...that ruined the whole movie for me. **rant now complete** Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

**Reviews: **

**emerald lady: **Thanks!

**s****parkling-stone** Yeah, well, it was just an idea to change things up a bit, I don't know if I'll do it again so...we'll see thanks anyway!

**Readerfreak10: **joins her in the search

**Lady Lea: **Thanks a lot! I'm glad you like it! I don't know if there will be another in Legolas point of view, but there might be, just depends.

**Hallows07:** I thought that chapter just needed some fluffiness.

**Hikitsulover-818: ** Thanks!

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0oooo0o0o0o000o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o0o0

Chapter 27: Holy Mackerel! Seriously.

"So that is the plan?" Elizabeth asked staring at me incredulously. If she doesn't be careful she might not make it much farther on this ship. She might become mighty acquainted with the little fishies of the sea. "For us to be ambushed by those pirates while you sail away free? You are a true pirate."

"Thank you." I turned to see Jack who had replied the same as me. Elizabeth scoffed at us before walking over to where Will was sitting staring at his arm. "OH yeah, sorry about that Will, I really didn't mean anything to you personally only Jack." Will gave me a smile before turning to Elizabeth who was whispering furiously about how they should have gone with Norrington.

"Well, we can always throw you over board and let you swim to them." Legolas said smiling sweetly at the death glare she had pointed in his direction. Just goes to show you how much the two of us have in common, same death wishes.

"I don't believe I was talking to you." She placed her hands on her hips and took the stance of a woman who was about to let out a huge lecture. One can always tell when a girl was about to fuss and release some mind nuke on your ass. She takes three steps, flicks her hair back, places her hands on her hips and begins to nod her head. I would know, I do it all the time.

"If you weren't so loud we wouldn't have had to hear you." He retorted leaning into her face. She snorted and he pulled his head away scrunching his nose like she had gotten a buger on him. Which is actually very disgusting to think about. Actually, I think I just gagged a little in my mouth. "Ew, that was foul play!" He pointed an accusing finger in her face, she almost looked like she wanted to bite it.

'If you weren't listening so hard you wouldn't have thought we were loud." She stomped her foot like she had made an amazing point, Legolas' hand was quivering like he wanted to chop it off.

"You guys, this is ridiculous, here's the compromise. Maybe you just shouldn't talk because no one wants to hear what you have to say anyway," I smirked at her indignant gasp, " and Legolas, I would rather not have to tell Aragorn that you had been murder by the royal navy for killing the governor's daughter, savvy?" She gasped again, I smiled sweetly at her before wrapping my arm around Legolas' waist and sticking my tongue out at her.

"Esme, you have the maturity level of a child, did you know that." Will glared at me before going to comfort miss Cry baby. 

"At least I don't' live off of DADDY!!!!" I shouted pointedly at Elizabeth, who immediately stopped the fake tears and marched over the get in my face, I didn't remove me arm from Legolas' waist, I could feel him shaking with silent laughter.

"How dare you insult me like that." She looked very close to hitting me, and I wish she would have so I could have an honest reason for knocking the mess out of her, but Jack came running over to save her.

"Now now children lets allow this little feminine spat behind us so that we may leave the baddies behind us savvy?" He slowly pulled Elizabeth back towards Will before running back over to me. " We must really start moving, or I'm afraid we'll be ambushed here, we'll follow you?" I nodded and turned to Legolas.

"Ready?" 

"Sim." He kissed me on the forehead before going to prepare the dinghy for the returning party.

'You did her a good favor Jack, not letting me hit her."I stopped in my steps to hear Elizabeth blowing wind, again.

"I wasn't doing any favor to her lass, only you." She looked so shock it was hard for me not to smirk I just continued to walk over to Edward, she'd learn one day.

"Man, I had money on you, why'd ol' Jack had to show his soft side then?" Edward was grumbling, glaring at said Pirate. I laughed and smacked him on the back.

"How much did you bet?"

"Fifty."

"Good man! Anyway, on with business, ready the sails, as soon as this nasty lot is off my ship we're moving out, savvy?" He nodded before shouting orders out for the crew to get ready.

"I hear he out bet me then?" I jumped when Legolas snaked his hand into mine. Good thing I'm an elf right?

"By a lot it would seem." He shook his head before smiling at me. "Oh look, miss Governors on her way."

"Esme."

"Sim?"

"I just wanted to apologize for Elizabeth;s behavior, she's been through a lot the past few days give her some leniency." Will said taking my other hand. Elizabeth just glared in the other direction, good thing looks couldn't kill because I have a feeling half my crew might no longer have been with us.

'Eh... I'll think about it He glared and dropped me hand. I loved making people angry. I have such an art with it. 'fine, as long as she keeps her mouth shut, of I may have probable cause to make it stay that way." She turned her glare on to me, so I returned one. Jack began to shepard them onto the awaiting boat.

'Until we land. Salud." He tipped his hat before joining them and heading off. I waited until they were out of ear shoot to yell some choice words about what I thought of miss My Father Owns Everything. They would have made the burliest of pirates beards curl.

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"How much farther?" I swear if Bart asks me that one more time I'm going to throw him off the crow's nest myself.

'As far as it looks Master Bart, now, for the last time, LEAVE ME ALONE!" HE took a step back before nodding and running off, finally some peace and quite.

"Captain, we're almost there."

I lied.

"So it would seem, good thing you can find that out your self." Edward gave me a questioning look before shaking his head and walking away. So I scare some people, big deal. "Legolas!" The poor elf started turning in circles trying to find me.

"Valor? Is that you, it's me Legolas." Excuse me while I die of laughter, would you? "Oh, it's you Esme. Why couldn't you just have told me that?" He huffed and stuck his bottom lip out, I had to hold my hand out for a minute so I could catch my breathe.

"Because that made it so much more interesting."

"Glad to know you use me for your entertainment." He scowled before beginning to climb up to the ladder to the crow's nest.

"Oh don't worry, at least that counts for something." I gave him a huge grin, he just glared at me.

"What?"

"Cheer up Grumpy, just thought I would let you know we were almost there." He nodded before looking out over the ocean and the upcoming land.

'Esme. Are those our ships?" I squinted out where he was pointing to see black sails. Shit. This could not be good.

"Damn, well that makes things rather difficult, oh well, we can take them out here, and then they'll never make it on land. Come we've got to ready the troops. " I slid down the ladder and practically knocked Edward over.

"The Corsairs."

"We need to get ready to fight."

"Are coming."

"What?" Legolas interrupted our little confused sentences with his own confused one.

"Captain." Edward began, I smacked my hand on his face his eyes got huge. Legolas raised his eyebrow.

"So I learn from the best. Anyway, yes I know, the Corsairs are up ahead. I don't want them to see our ship, so here's what we're going to do. But first, I need someone to go tell Jack. We're starting the fun a little earlier." I didn't miss the look in Legolas eyes when he caught on to what I was planning. Males, there all alike.

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"_Nadesiel a'dagora_?" (Are you ready to fight) I stood in front of my whole crew, their answer was unanimous, I think I went deaf from it all actually.

"what, what did she say?" I rolled my eyes and turned Elizabeth who was glaring at me like I'd asked them to eat her for breakfast.

'I sai-"

"She said, you lose." Shouted Edward jumping in front of her, she screamed and jumped behind Will, Edward began to laugh before walking over to me. "Ready?" I nodded. "To the sea you dogs!" The crew dismantled and began to swarm to the sides of the ship, which was sitting a few hundred leagues from the first Corsairs' ship.

'Wait a minute, are you telling me, you expect us to swim that far, and then have to fight? Have you gone mad, or madder than you already were? Elizabeth shouted in my ear looking over board at the elves swimming towards the other ships.

"I didn't say you, I said us, so you can come and go if you please, I'm not really in charge of you am I?" I asked throwing my leg over the rail, beside my Legolas was p[preparing to dive. HE made a perfect looking arc before hitting the water. 'Always have to be the show off don't you, you poncy elf." He grinned and winked up at me. I wish I had something to hit him with, or I could kiss him.

"You still haven't answered my question!:" Shouted Elizabeth recapturing my attention.

"I have, you can come if you like, if not you'll be here by yourself."

"I will not, Will is here with me." She crossed her arms and made to sit down.

"Sorry, I think you're wrong, he and Jack were some of the first ones off mate."

"You're joking!"

"No, but I'm done talking with you, good bye." 

"Wait! How am I going to swim in this dress?" I preformed the ever common, hand to forehead technique before joining her back on the deck.

"You're much more trouble than you're worth, I hope you know that." I jerked her to my cabin, grumbling all the way. Who would come to fight wearing a dress, an ugly one at that? I yanked my draws open and grabbed some leggings and a tunic and threw them at her. My aim was perfect, they hit her right in the face. "Well, don't just stand there. Put them on!"

"They'll be too long." She said pouting. I was itching to reach over and strangle her with the article of clothing in her hand, but I would be ruining a pair of perfectly good leggings.

'Put. Them. On. NOW!" I shouted, I suppose I spouted fangs and claws or something because she was into the clothes I gave her in a second flat. "Good, is there anything else, your highness?" She shook her head, still looking scared. 'Very well, lets' go then."

'By the time we had gotten back up on deck, the others were already half way there.

"I suppose this is a stretch, but you do now how to swim don't you?" Damn ,I should have asked that in the first place.

"Of course, what kind of question is that?" She said glaring at me before clambering over the railing and into the water.

"Just making sure." I yelled before joining her in the water. She was already complaining and we had just gotten in, this was going to take a long time.

"I can't believe I'm doing this, it's insane. And it's all your fault!" She shouted, she was already breathing hard and we hadn't gotten out of the shadow of the ship yet. I'm afraid she won't make. Shouldn't get my hopes up.

"Focus all your energy on swimming, less talking from you the better." She huffed but ended up getting water down her nose, if there was anything hard near me, I might have starting bashing my head against it. Lucky for me there wasn't. "And don't do anything stupid like what you just did." She glared before continuing to swim forward.

"What are you, some specialist on swimming?"

"Well gee, let me check. I haven't lived on a ship most of my life and I definitely haven't had to swim my fair share of times." I said shaking my head. 'You're right, I don't knowing anything about it." She glared even harder.

"I hate you."

'Oh Eru." I clutched my heart and pretended to roll over dead. "How could you hurt me so! What have I done to make her hate me?" I pretended to bawl my eyes out before she started screaming it was enough. "Does that mean you like me again?" I put on a fake grin, she gave me a very vulgar hand gesture. I returned it with relish.

"ESME! WATCH OUT!!!" I looked ahead to see Legolas swimming towards us I, rolled my eyes and was about toe yell we were fine before I felt someone grab my hand.

"Now really Elizabeth, don't try to drown me with you." I tried to jerk my hand away but it had a very tight grip, and the dry calluses weren't helping. "Now I know what to tell will to get you for a wedding present, some lotion."

"Shut up Esme, I'm not the one holding you're hand." She shouted, I turned to see her in the grips of one of the ugliest men I've ever seen in my life.

'Gross, what is that thing?" I squinted at it before I realized she wasn't holding my hand, I turned around to see the brownest set of teeth I've ever seen, they smelled just as bad. My eyes just started watering.

"Hello poppet." The rotten thing said. I covered my nose with the other hand hoping to keep some of the stench out.

"Could you please back up, I can't breathe through your stench." I heard Elizabeth sigh, then I heard a rather familiar laugh.

'Seems, you are still alive, Captain Clack." I turned to see captain Smells Bad rowing swimming up to me.

"And you. You know, you don't look as intimidating swimming as when you're standing on a pile of treasure." I gave him a cheek grin before turning to glare at Elizabeth. 'This is all you're fault miss I'm going to wear a long gown so I can't swim and make us late!"

'It wasn't my fault you decided to make us all commit suicide! How was I to know you wanted us to swim that far!'

"Well if you listened to things other than your father or your breathing you might have known better!" I could feel my face turning red.

"Well if you were a better captain you wouldn't have let Jack convince you to come save me."

"Do you know where you'd be if we hadn't miss Ungrateful? You'd be dead! I wish we had left you there you stinking no good prissy!"

"Now now lasses, we wouldn't want ye to be fighting over such trifling matters when you're floating in the middle of the ocean now would we? Come let's resolve this aboard my ship." captain Needs a Bath something fierce simpered swimming closer to us, we both turned to face him.

"NOT NOW SMELLY! WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!"

"Oh well, please continue." he said shaking, his hair on the back of his head was standing up straight.

'I wish you had left me there, then I never would have had to meet you!" She shouted, her face turning a nasty purple.

'Well, you can thank you're stupid Will that we did save you, he was the one who loved you, I sure as hell didn't. You ungrateful cow!"

"You, you, you pirate!" I turned to look at the other pirates, then we all busted out laughing.

"You call that an insult?" I asked through trying to catch my breath.

'Yes, it should be for any decent woman." She said trying desperately to defend herself in front of us all.

"Well, shame I can't say I was one of them."

"You're despicable." 

"Thank you," I gave her a cheeky grin before turning to their captain. "Now,what did you want?" He gave me the creepiest grin before turning to Elizabeth.

"Only the girl, for now anyway." He winked at me before swimming over to Elizabeth whose eyes were flashing in between me and Captain Smellypants.

"She's all yours." I said waving my hands at him and preparing to swim away.

"You're gonna leave me?" she sounded like she was about to cry.

"Hey, you won't have to deal with me any more and I won't have to deal with you anymore. It's a win win situation, savvy? Tata!" I began to swim away until some one grabbed my foot. "Oh come on, what now?"

"Where do you think you're off to in such a hurry?" Captain Knock you Out With BO.

"Well, actually, I was going to find my boyfriend, so we could enjoy a victory dance but obviously you're not gonna let me do that are you?" He smiled through those brown teeth of his.

"Precisely."

'Oh poo."

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"Well, back aboard the Black Pearl. Not really where I want to be at the moment. Especially in the barracks, with you." I glared in Elizabeth's direction, the girl was crying and blubbering like a whale. I wanted to end her life my self, but she was actually the only reason I was alive to tell you the truth.

"Shut up, this isn't my fault. You're the one who decided to swim in the ocean."

"You're the one who had to wear a dress and take you precious time."

"You-'

"SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!" We both turned to glare at the fat pirate and his friend they had stationed to keep us in the broken barrack. Why they didn't out us in one that locked I could never tell you.

"Sheesh, calm down, we get you're point." I said rolling my eyes at him.

"You two have been going at it for the past hour, and I don't think I can handle it anymore." shouted the skinny one.

"Then leave, we're not keeping you here." I replied starting to chip the floor with my sword, what Jack would if he saw me doing this to his ship now.

"You stink you're smart don't ye elf? Well, we're here under Captain's orders, and we're not leaving until he tells us too."

"Funny, I haven't heard any noise form above for a few hours now, I wonder if they're still there or not? Why doesn't one of you go check hm??"I asked looking pointedly at Elizabeth hoping she would get where I was going. The blond one came through finally.

"She's right you now, maybe you should got check Pintel." said the skinny one pointing at the fat one.

'No, don't be stupid, they're still there. You go Ragetti if you're so worried." Pintel said scoffing at Ragetti. Sounds like Ravioli to me. He nodded and began to climb the stairs. 'No, if anyone goes it's me, so you stay here and guard them." Pintel ran up the stairs, I waited until I couldn't hear him anymore before running and kick the door open.

"What are you doing! Get back in there!" Shouted Ravioli trying to push me back in, Elizabeth swung the bench she had been previously occupying in hit him right in the stomach, knocking him in to cell in front of us. I slammed the door, and stuck my tongue out at him.

"Now's not the time for that! Let's go!" Elizabeth grabbed my hand and ran towards the stairs, but we could hear Pintel stomping back down them.

"Ragettit, they've all left! We shou-AH!!!"We tripped him and pushed him into another cell slamming it as well. "How did you get out! Ragetti you let them out?"

"No I swear I didn't! The elf, she caught me off guard." I smiled and waved at Pintel when he turned to glare at me.

"Remember this day as the day, you almost caught, Captain Esmeralda. Good day!" I darted up the stairs after Elizabeth only to come face to face with a very familiar chest. "ACK! I"M SUFFOCATING! CAN'T BREATH!"

"_Amin dele ten'lle_" (I was so worried about you.) Legolas mumbled into my head. It would have been sweet if I could breath.

"Legolas, um..if you don't let go, you just might kill her." He pulled away and smiled down at me.

'How did you get out?"

'What can I saw, I'm an escape artist."

"So it would seem." I whirled around to see Jack, Edward, and Will walking towards us, Elizabeth ran to Will who twirled her in his arms. How unflatteringly gay of him.

'Did you decide to bring the whole army with you? Which reminds me, we need to go now, have the other boarded the ship yet." All I got in reply was a nervous smile." Well?"

"Um no, they'reallactuallyheretooincaseweneededtofighttogetyouout." Legolas mumbled as fast as he could.

'You did what?" I shouted before running over to the railing where most of my crew were treading water. "You've got to be kidding me."

'Well, I suppose we should go now ' Edward said breaking the tense silence, I looked at him before shaking my head and jumping over board.

'Does anyone know where they went?" I shouted back up to Jack, who was the last one on board.

'We're not quite sure,but...I believe it has something to do with the Royal navy at the moment." HE replied before diving in to the water. "If we hurry, we may be able to put enough distance in between us to not have to worry about them catching us for a while."

'Fine, let's go. Elizabeth, you don't need to change or anything do you?' I snapped at the girl who had caused this all. I saw her bristle but, Will whispered something in her ear and she stopped before swimming by me, Legolas shook his head before following after them.

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"Ok, here's what we're going to do, when I give the signal, we're going to climb aboard, silently as possible, and ambush them. They won't know what hit them. Spread the word to the others, and tell them to split up and give the same number to each of the ships." The Corsair's had a fleet of about five ships, just enough for us to take care of. Edward nodded and swam over to Corolla who was waiting to give the orders. I spent the twenty minutes it took to finally get the ok, playing I Spy with Legolas, and destroying him at it. I was amazing.

"Captain, we're ready."

"Good, let's go." I grabbed the anchor rope and started to climb up it, hearing Legolas, Jack, and others follow me.

"It's empty , save for one lone creature standing on the far side of the ship." I whispered to Legolas, peering over the railing. "Easier to take out that way, come on." I jumped aboard and silently sprinted along the walls of the ship. (Think Mission Impossible music if you will) I hit a corner and crouched low to the ground and looked around it, the thing still hadn't moved. I flipped around the corner and sat hunched on the ground waiting for Legolas, who merely walked around the corner without even stopping. I continued to roll down the starboard side of the ship, Legolas walking beside me the whole way down. What a party pooper.

'Esme, are you sure that is all really necessary?' Legolas mumbled grabbing my hand to pull me up. Told you he had no fun.

"Come on, let's make this interesting, we run and ambush him at the same time so that we can scare him into submission?" He shook his head before yanking me behind him and tiptoeing to hide behind the mast.

"No, I'm going to shoot him with an arrow, while you sit here and stay still, savvy?" You have no idea how funny he sounded pronouncing that word, it took all my will power and more not to bust out laughing and give us away. I nodded with my fist in my mouth, he rolled his eyes and prepared to fire. Until Edward came tumbling into us.

"What the hell man?" I shouted, he made me hit my head on the mast, there was already a bump growing there, I can feel it. "Oh hell, Legolas, there's no point hiding now." I pulled my sword out and ran to the thing that still hadn't moved. I could see it's shoulders shaking with laughter. "Ungaurd you filthy beast!" I brandished my sword, I could see Legolas with his bow taunt and ready to my right, the thing merely started laughing harder. It actually sounded very familiar to me. "Um excuse me, this is the time you start cowering and begging for your life if I'm not mistaken." I said poking the thing on the back.

"So it would seem." Said beasty turned around and I nearly had a heart attack.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU NINCOMPOOP!!"

**Author's Note:** Dun Dun Dun, who could it be? Review and Review some more!


	28. Chapter 28

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

**Reviews:**

**emerald lady: **Believe me, no offense taken, I probably would have taken that as a compliment whether you meant it that way or not! Thanks as always!

**Readerfreak10:** evil laughter from author sitting in a very dark corner

**Hallows07:** Neither actually, but they'll be popping up in the chapter, so no worries.

**Hikitsulover-818**: I'm sorry to say that it is not.

Chapter 28: Siblings are lame.

"Morgan! You always beat me to things! I hate that!" I poked the pirate in the chest hoping it would leave some bruising, he just laughed and grabbed me hands.

'Now, is that anyway to treat the older brother you haven't seen for quite a few years?" He continued to chuckle when I stuck my tongue out and ripped my hands away.

"Yes."

"Now now, you can't truly be that angry? 'He continued to smile, he almost blinded me with his white teeth, the whitest I've ever seen on anyone, elves included. "Smile." Not when my teeth would look black compared to yours, thanks. 'That was more of a grimace, here, I shall help you!" He leaned forward and placed his fingers on the side of my cheeks and was about to force me to smile until Legolas stepped forward and cleared his throat. "Oh, who could this be?" Did I mention he was slightly fruity? I took a step in front of Legolas clearing my throat to get Morgan to take his eyes off of, well places he shouldn't see.

"Morgan, this is Legolas of the Woodland realm, Legolas this is Morgan." Legolas bowed his head, Morgan licked his lips and took a step closer.

"Well, fancy meeting such a fine man in such a place." Morgan gave Legolas his biggest smile, Legolas smiled back, the poor elf, never catches anything.

"Morgan." He continued to stare at Legolas who began taking steps back. 'MORGAN! Now that I have you're attention, he's not gay." He visibly deflated, Legolas raised his eye brow at me, I just shrugged and walked over and wrapped my arm around his waist. "Don't worry about it."

'OH Esme, you have snagged a cute on haven't you?!' Morgan began wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, until I threw a shoe at him. He dodged it and it hit Edward who was climbing up the side. I ran over to the rail to see him rubbing his forehead and shaking it to clear his sight.

"Sorry Edward! That wasn't meant for you!" He rolled his eyes at me and began to climb up again, I turned to see Morgan primping and smiling like a hyena. I wonder how many elves he's going to try and seduce today. "He's taken."

"Well, that can easily be undone then." Morgan took a step towards Edward with his hand stretched out to shake Edwards, too bad he walked right by him, didn't even give him a second glance. I snickered and pointed at Morgan who huffed and pointed his nose into the air. Sore loser.

"Well, they've finally stopped fighting. And I've found something you might want to see, he's wounded quite a few of our men single handedly, except for these weird green things that have been floating around him, they really wanted to kill Bart, but the man kept them from it." Green things floating?

"Edward, I believe you've had enough rum for the time being." I patted him on the shoulder and gave him a sympathetic smile, he looked like he was trying to control his breathing so as not to lash out at me. Like he would.

"Just. GO." He pointed to the ship next to ours, still controlling his breath, and keeping his eyes shut. Someone needs a time out. I grabbed Legolas' arm and drug him to the side with me.

'Well, let's go see these green floaty things Ed's talking about." I jumped off the ship and began to swim over when I felt some one breathing rather hard in my ear, guess who. Morgan.  
"What. Do. You. Want?"

"I can't really swim that well." He smiled innocently and continued to latch onto my arm.

"you're a pirate."

"Yes I know."

"What the hell?" I looked at Legolas who was shaking his head and laughing. "Go to Legolas instead." Morgan's face practically lit up like the sun. "But don't do anything dirty, he's mine remember?"It went down a few notches. Morgan swam faster than I've ever seen anyone swim over to Legolas who stared at him like he was crazy. Wait a minute, if he could swim over there, I just told him to do what he wanted to do. Man I'm an idiot. "MORGAN GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU FREAK! I've got your number now!" I swam over to them and pulled Legolas away from Morgan and began swimming back towards the ship, faster this time. "Manwhore."

"What was all that about?" Legolas truly looked confused. I smiled and kissed him on the cheek before clambering up the side of the ship.

"Ah, Esme, I was wondering when you would show up." I whirled around to see the same greasy hair that I had become so acquainted with for the past few months. Aragorn was here!

"Yous how up in some of ht oddest places, you know that?" I walked forward to give him a hug but was beat by Morgan, who sprinted past me with a huge grin and his hand out stretched. Aragorn looked at him apprehensively before grabbing his hand to shake it.

"My name's Morgan, what's yours?" I'm surprised Morgan didn't start fluttering his eyelashes. I ran up and grabbed him by his collar.

"Down dog." Aragorn merely chuckled before wrapping me in a hug.

"Glad to see you are ok, but, what is wrong with your friend over there?" He shook his head over to where Morgan was nursing a bruised neck, I just flicked my wrist and said nothing.

"It is good to see you again Aragron." Legolas walked up, didn't plan on hugging Aragorn, who obviously had different plans.

"And I assume he's pretty darned happy to see you as well." I crossed my arms, Edward's little floating things weren't anywhere to be found...liar.

"Lord Aragorn, are we to head out now!" Ok I lied, I'm now shaking in Legolas' arms because some weird ass green ghost thing just floated right through me and talked to Aragorn. And you know what's ever weirder? Aragorn responded.

"I suppose, are you all ready to leave?" He looked to me and Legolas, we were just to busy staring open mouthed at the thing ghost. It was truly disgusting.

"What is that?" I asked slowly sticking my hand out at it, Legolas grabbed it with his own and shook his head at me. "Party Pooper."

"It is one of the cursed soldiers, is it not?" Legolas looked at Aragorn, then back at the ghost, and then made some noise of understanding. Too bad I'm still stuck in the dark.

"So It is, in fact it is the King of the Dead Soldiers." Aragorn smiled at Legolas, what a smart cookie, not.

"So, Esme is still lost, plan on helping her any time?" I asked pointing at myself, Aragorn rolled his eyes before launching into some drawn out story, about mountain doing something stupid and being cursed. Only my version is about thirty minutes less time. "You know what I've noticed, we have yet to see the dwarf...did you lose him?" I smiled all big, until I heard loud heavy foot steps, and even louder chewing. Scratch that.

"Elf! And the other one! How wonderful it is to see you?" He smiled through the crumbs on his beard. Legolas smiled back before clasping his shoulder.

"And you too."

"As wonderful as this all is, I most intrude and say that we should get going, it will only be a little while longer before the pirates find us you know. So, can we move on?" I nearly jumped over the side of the ship.

"Holy mess where did you come from Will?" I placed my hand on my chest and tried to calm my heart, it wasn't working very well.

"Um, I've been here the whole time?" He looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Have you really?"

'Yes. Can we go please?"

"Oh right yeah. Back to the ship." I was about to walk off until I heard Aragorn clear his throat. "Yes?"

"Introduction really are good things."

"Oh fine, Will Aragorn, Aragorn Will. Happy?"

"Most definitely."

"Dear sister, how were you planning on returning to your ship so far away?" damn I forgot Morgan was there too, I'm going to die of a heart attack one day.

'Swim? The same way we got here." Duh I continued to walk to the rail until I was cut off by Jack.

"I hope you weren't planning on returning to your ship now were you?" He had a weird smile that was kinda creepy, even for Jack.

"Yes I was, why?" the look got even stranger.

"Well, Barbossahascaptureditandifyougobackhewillgetyouaswell." Can we say huge smile. I just patted him on the shoulder and walked by him, Jack and his funny fantasies.." Can't you see the sails?" Wait. What? I looked out over the horizon and sure enough my ship was on it's way over here. I gulped and turned back to Legolas, Gimli, and Aragorn.

"Time to go."

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"Esme, how much longer do you plan on trying to run away from them?" Aragorn asked glaring at me while I was yelling orders to let out full canvas.

"Running, who said anything about running? Do I look like Jack to you?" Said man popped up and growled at me before returning to his station, helping Will calm Elizabeth down. I still don't know what is making her freak out like that. Maybe the prospect of actually having to help fight something?

'Who is Jack?" Aragorn scratched his head for a minute before rolling his eyes and going back to bugging me.

'Lad, just let her be, she must have her reasons, although I too wish to know. Maybe the elf knows somethings we don't seeing as how _close_ they are." I knocked him off the barrel he was lounging on and glared at him.

"You're just jealous that you can't have him." I said sticking my tongue out at him why he grumbled and mumbled about being knocked over. "As to what we are doing, we're recruiting them into the war, they just don't know it yet. I just hope they don't figure out about the paddles, because right now we've got a pretty good lead on them." I turned to see Edward sprinting up to me, guess I spoke too soon.

"They've got the oars out." I'm pretty sure I made Gimli's ear hair curl with my string of curses.

'This ship doesn't have any does it?" I turned to Aragorn who obviously knew whether it did or not, he shrugged his shoulders. Guess he's not as intelligent as I thought. 'MORGAN!" My brother practically fell out of the crows nest when he heard me yelling, shame he didn't really. I never said that.

'Eru. Did you have to do that?" He climbed down and walked as slow as he could over to me. It practically took him an hour to walk the two feet between us, so I whacked him int eh back of the head. 'Ow, what was that for?"

'Being slow. In more than one way. Now, I need to know, does this ship have an oars that can be let out, like my ship does?" Morgan made a weird face, I suppose he was thinking, nothing good can come of that.

"This is a corsair ship, do you think they're smart enough to do something like that? Even I knew that, and I am slow." Touche. Jack does know something.

"True. Okay, never mind. WE'RE SCREWED!" I started running in ac circle waving my hands and screaming, until I ran into Legolas and he smacked his hand over my mouth. Gee, this is oddly familiar.

"Shh, we're only a few leagues away from the wharf, if we lighten the load we should be ok." I took a calming breathe,nodded, straightened my tunic, and turned to Edward, who was snickering.

"What?" He caught my glare.

"Well, why are you just standing there? Get to it!" He nodded and ran off yelling at the crew to start throwing things over board.

"We have the Corsairs in the brigs, we could always throw them over board?" We all turned to Morgan with our mouthes open, who keeps things like that? "What?" He stopped cleaning his finger nails, which were already cleaner than mine, to stare back at us. I hid my fingers from sight.

"Why, did you keep them alive?" Legolas asked walking forward, his hand twitching like he wanted to strangle Morgan. He shrugged.

"Who knows, they could come in handy." I fell over, nope, I'm not related to him.

"Well he sure is a keeper." Jack said smiling down at me. I kicked him in the shin.

"Throw them over board!" I ran over to the stairs only to have Morgan ump in front of me.

"No! Don't kill them! They're my friends now."

"Esme...? Are you alright?" Legolas took to waving his hand in front of my face. Who would think I had such a weird brother? "Esme?"

"I feel like I just got hit in the face by Sam's pan, but I believe I shall make it through it." I placed one hand against my chest. "Morgan, I'm sorry but, WE'RE GOING TO GET RID OF THEM! NOW MOVE!" He jumped out of my way the fastest I've ever seen him move. "Good brother." I pulled out my sword and began to walk down the stairs only to be stopped by Aragorn.

"Do you really need to have your weapon out?"

"You never known, Morgan could have let them keep their weapons because they said they would play hopscotch with him." I glared once more in the quivering pirates wake before continuing the descent. I heard Legolas walking behind me mumbling about hating stupid people, manly my brother, I started to laugh at this, which caused my down fall. Literally. 'OH SHIT!" I started to tumble down the stairs trying hard not to hit my head, but it didn't take too long for me to roll right into one of the doors of the brigs, which opened right up and I rolled right into the wall. Yes, I did just say the door opened right up. If I make it out of this, Morgan sure won't.

"Esme, the door it's locked back!" Legolas shouted rattling the hinges. Just my luck, it locks after I get stuck in here. "I'll be right back, here's a sword in case they try something!" the stupid idiot, whom I love, throw an unsheathed sword at me, it barely missed my face. It actually cut a piece of my, lovely, beautiful hair off. I think I'm going to cry.

"Are you alright miss?" I felt some bumbling thing try to help me up but I jerked my arm back away and snorted at him. What? He smelled bad.

'Stop being so nice Earl, that's what got your cousin killed at Helms Deep." Another one grunted form the corner.

'Don't you dare mention George, he was twice the orc you were!" The one I surmised was Earl. Wait, they can't be talking about George from the war can they?

"This George character, was he big, black and hairy?" I said poking Earl on the shoulder.

"Why yes he was. He was the spitting image of myself." Earl stuck his chest out mighty proud of his cousin.

"Oh I know, well, knew him! We had a wonderful conversation during the battle at Helms Deep." I smiled and nodded my head at Earl, who looked like he couldn't decide whether to hug me or pee his pants. I turned to look at the other one in the cell with us, he was chuckling in his little corner. " Is there a problem?"

"You. Had. A. Conversation, with an orc during a war?" I could hear him laughing, stupid thing.

"Why yes I did. Is that a problem?" I stalked over to him with my fist up in his face. He continued to laugh, I was about to knock his brains out when Earl pulled me away.

"So how was he doing?" He was still smiling like a freak, it distorted his features.

"I don't want to sound rude or anything, but, can you grimace or something because you're creeping me out with that smile big guy." HE nodded and replaced the smile with a glare. Much better. "Yes I suppose, until someone ran him through. Which I'm deeply sorry about. I severely punished the guy afterward, I promise." The thing was crying freely now, my eyes must have been the size of a frying pan. Who would have thought that an uruk-hai had feelings?

"ESME!!! I''ve got it!" I jumped up and ended up tripping over Earl who was still sitting on the floor blubbering, the thing in the corner laughed. I popped up and glared at it before walking over to the cell door. Legolas was trying to figure out which key it was.

"Honestly, how hard is it?" I placed my hands on my hip and just stared at Legolas who glared at me and stopped trying to find the key. "Ok, I'm sorry!" He smiled and continued his search. Finally we heard the click of the door and it swung open. I Ran forward and gave Legolas a hug. "Finally you got me out of that stupid thing!" He kissed me on my forehead before walking forward and retrieving his sword.

"Up, both of you, out now." Earl was still crying and carrying on, the other one spat on Legolas who kicked him in return. "Out!" The thing finally wobbled by him and up the stairs. I took to letting the other ones out of there cells and directing them up the stairs. This should be interesting.

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"Now, all of you, jump off. NOW!" Not one of them moved, so the men took it upon themselves to start knocking the things off the side. IT was actually quite funny to see it, they had barrels and took to rolling them across the deck to see how many of the orcs they could knock over at once. I convinced them to let Earl stay aboard, I knew he wasn't much of a harm, who knows, he could help us out a bit. So we took to singing a song while watching the guys have a little bowling game.

Sail away where no ball and chain  
Can keep us from the roarin' waves  
Together undivided but forever we'll be free  
So sail away aboard our rig  
The moon is full and so are we  
We're seven drunken pirates  
We're the seven deadly sins  
We're seven drunken pirates  
We're the seven deadly sins

Envy and its evill twin  
It crepy in bed with slander  
Idiots they gave advice  
But sloth it gave no answer  
Anger kills the human soul  
With butter tales of lust  
While pavlov's Dogs keep chewin'  
On the legs they never trust

Sail away where no ball and chain  
Can keep us from the roarin' waves  
Together undivided but forever we'll be free  
So sail away aboard our rig  
The moon is full and so are we  
We're seven drunken pirates  
We're the seven deadly sins  
We're seven drunken pirates  
We're the seven deadly sins

But It's the only life we'll know  
Blagards to the bone  
So don't wreck yourself  
Take an honest grip  
For there's more tales beyond the shore

Earl and I were busy doing a line dance and didn't notice all the attention we had attracted until Aragorn cleared his throat.

"Oh hello." I smiled and waved, Earl bowed.

"Are you done yet?" HE grimaced when Earl continued to hum the tune.

'NO! We've only just begun!" Edward came out of nowhere and continued to sing the song until Charlotte knocked him out.

"Now we are." I smiled and turned to look back at the trail of orcs we left floating. We still maintained the same distance between Barbossa and his thieves, so we had no problems, especially since we were almost to the wharf. Thank Eru.

'Hey, can we do that line dance again?" Edward stood up for a mere two seconds, before Charlotte knocked him back out.

Lovely woman, isn't she?

**Author's Note:** The Song is called Seven Deadly Sins by Flogging Molly. I love them! Anyway, you know the deal!


	29. Chapter 29

Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir

**Author's Note: **Well I was home sick today and decided to write you lucky devils another chapter! Woot. Anyway, I'm so excited because basketball is almost over and I'm so excited for soccer to start next week, it's going to be amazing! Not to mention I enjoy playing soccer better than basketball anyway... but shh, don't tell my coach.

**Reviews:**

**Readerfreak10: **Mwuhahahaha.

**jennfire: **Well, have no fear, Earl is here to stay, for a while anyways.

**emerald lady: **I'm guessing thats a compliment, if it's not, too bad. Thanks!

**Hallows07:** Thanks a lot, I really mean it.

Chapter 29: Pirates to the rescue.

"EDWARD! Can you stop humming that infernal song!" I whirled on the elf, I suppose I looked like some rabid freak but I couldn't help it. Three hours after we stopped singing it, there was only so much one person could take.

"But I like that song, I thought you did too?"

"Three hours ago." Legolas piped up, I turned to find him sitting in the corner massaging his temples with his knuckles. "Could you stop, if not for us, at least for Charlotte, she's been looking for something to murder you with for the past half hour." Edward gulped and nodded before running down to the galley to hide, too bad that's where Charlotte was last seen going, the last thing we heard from him was a screech, and a sharp chop. Goodbye dear Edward.

No I lied, we could hear him scream and then her yelling at him, but he's still alive. I believe.

"Finally, some quite. I thought Elves were supposed to be soft spoken and hard to hear." Gimli grumbled pulling a tankard out of his vest, I swear I saw Legolas look to see if there was another one.

'Well obviously, you shouldn't think." I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at the reddening elf before running off to hide behind Legolas, who merely shrugged his shoulders and continued to massage his temples. "Oh here let me help." I ran down to the galley, bypassed the couple, ahem, forgiving each other, grabbed a towel, threw something at the couple while leaving, laughed at them and ran back to Legolas. He looked between me and the towel warily, honestly like I was really gonna hurt him, when have I ever hurt him? Ok don't answer that. I ran to the rail and grabbed a pail that I had managed to miss when I was throwing things at people, which happens quite often, and lowered the towel in the pail over the side.

"Esme, you're not going to catch anything with that love." Jack said smiling and patting my shoulder, if my hands weren't full I would have hit him.

"Then it's a good thing I'm not fishing." I tried to pull it up, but it was caught on something, oh bugger. 'Hey Jack, I think I've caught something, want to help me pull it in?" He smirked before grabbing the rope and pulling with me, it took us a good five minutes before the pail, towel, and strange fish man finally arrived on board. Did I mention thing was very ugly, green, had seaweed all over the place,was wearing lipstick and was wearing the strangest outfit. A jacket and some pink net like thing that was really really short. All in all, he looked worse than Bart when he gets dressed.

"Hi there." Said fish thing smiling at Jack and Legolas who had now decided to join the who ha. We all just stared at him, then looked at each other, than back at the man, fish, fish man.

"Who are you?" I asked slinking behind Jack who was closest to me.

"I'm Old Gregg, pleased to meet you." He smiled that creepy smile of his and then looked at Legolas who w as shaking believe it or not, whether from laughter or fear I don't know.

"What do you want?" Jack was still trying to push me in front of him.

"Maybe I should ask you the same question." Old Gregg stuck his finger out and took a step forward, we all took a collective step back, I ran to hide behind Legolas, at least the view from behind was better here...didn't think that. "What'chu doin in my waters?" I was about to let him know these waters were not his, but Legolas smacked his hand over my mouth, if he keeps this up, he might lose a finger one day.

"Just taking the air you know, not fishing. Not at all." Jack tried his best innocent smile, too bad it didn't work on the man, fish. Oh bugger.

"Then how come that pail hit me in the head?" Old Gregg picked up my pail with the towel in it and waved it in Jack's face.

"Well now, you can't really fish with that can you? I mean honestly, what can we catch, other than you? Plus, how can you say that's ours?" I asked, looking at him like he was stupid, until he flared his nostrils at me and I eeped and flew back behind Legolas who was shaking with laughter I know, so I punched him in the back.

"IT"S ATTATCHED TO YOUR ROPE MOTHER LICKER!" We all jumped back while he fumed.

"Don't kill us! I've got so much to give!" Jack begged falling on all fours, Legolas kicked him in the back and motioned for him to stand up.

"Easy now fuzzy little man peach. Ever drunk um from a shoe?" Excuse me while I go cry with mirth won't you?

"Did someone mention rum?" Jack popped up and smiled. Sweatdrop.

"want to come to a ship were people wee on each other?" The thing took another step towards us.

"No." Legolas shook his head and stared at the thing like he thought it was going to pee on him right then.

"I'm gonna hurt you.' Jack stuck his chest out until the thing turned to look at him, then he ran behind me and Legolas.

"Scuse me?" I asked looking around Legolas' shoulder, he honestly didn't think he could hurt us.

"I like you." We all cringed and dry heaved, taking another step back, nasty nasty. 'What do you think of me?'

"Well personally, I think you'r-" Legolas had his hand over my mouth in a flash.

"We don't rightly know sir." Legolas smiled, the thing stepped forward.

"Make an assessment."

"I think you're a nice man, fish, fish man, thing." Jack said smiling from over my shoulder.

"Don't lie to me boy!"

"I"M NOT LYING!" Jack had his hands over his head as if t hat would help, me and Legolas stared at him like the idiot he was.

"I know what you're thinking, here comes ol'Gregg, he's a scaly man fish. You don't know me." He took another step forward, we all stepped back. "You don't know what I got!" He reached for his little, skirt thing, we all thought he was about to pull out a sword, so we naturally drew ours, he didn't waver. " You know what this is, It's ol'Gregg's mangina!" I don't know about them, but I'd had enough of this strange man, and his little downstairs mix up. I grabbed a piece of plywood, and whacked him over the head with it, then I whacked him again so that he was near the rail, I was raising the thing one last time to hit him over when he pulled his skirt up and I got blinded from some weird ass light, I flailed the wood around and heard it make contact with some one. I squinted my eyes open to see Edward knocked out in front of me.

"Oh now you show up." I looked over him to see The Man fish smirking at me, so I threw the board at him, and knocked him over the side.

"I'm Old Greggggggg!!!' He shrieked until he hit the water. I walked over to the rail to see him sinking back down to the bottom. Thank Eru.

"That, is the last time, I ever try to help you with you're migraines Legolas. That was all your fault." I leaned against the railing and tried to catch my breathe, I've been scarred for life.

"Mine? You're the one who had to go fishing in the ocean, with that THING down there." Legolas protested gesturing wildly to the sea. His angered, confused, and frustrated expression was enough to make me loose it. "What, may I ask is so funny?"

'You're face!"I continued to laugh, missing the affronted look that replaced the confused one.

"Excuse me?" I stopped laughing and looked at him, he looked absolutely pissed. I rolled my eyes and walked over to give him a hug.

'I wasn't insulting you, you crybaby." I shook my head and then left him to go find Jack. "Jack, do you know about how far it is now?"

"Perhaps around twenty leagues or less, it won't take us long, we should ready the troops." He smirked before throwing back down this strangely shaped piece of gold. Leave it to him to plunder on some orc ship, I shook my head before turning back around, right into Legolas.

"Some else is fishing.' Jack turned to look at me, before the three of us ran on board to find Gimli standing at the rail with a fishing rod.

"NO!!!!!!!!!"I jumped across the deck and knocked him over, then I turned and threw the rod into the ocean. We all let out a sigh of relief, except for Gimli who was till trying to stand.

"What was that about lass?" He grumbled glaring at me.

'Yes, do tell." I turned to find Aragon staring at me like I was a time bomb about to explode. I turned to look at Jack and Legolas for help but they'd already disappeared. Fat lot of help they are.

"Long story, and we don't have enough time to tell it, so you'll have to ask me about it later. We've got to get ready to make port, and fight." I smiled and tried to skip by Aragorn, hoping he wouldn't make me promise to tell him later, but that just wasn't my luck.

'We will have lots of time later, I expect to hear why you are scared of fishing." I nodded, maybe he'll forget. 'I won't forget." Oh darn. I stuck my tongue out before going to find Edward, who was hopefully not attached to Charlotte still. Found him, he still hadn't moved from where I'd hit him, so I kicked him to wake him up, it worked.

"What was that thing?" He asked scratching the bump that had formed on his head.

"That my friend, was what we call a freak. Now, get the others ready, well reach the wharf in an hours time, and I expect us to be ready, is that clear?"

"Aye aye captain!" he ran off shouting orders and yelling at the other ships for them to get ready as well. There's no turning back now.

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"_Sut naa lle umien?_"(How are you feeling?) Legolas wrapped his arms around my waist, as I stood looking out out over the approaching wharf, it looked a mess.

"Well, I feel a little strange after the ordeal with the weird fish man, I'm kinda nervous, and then again I really want some rum. You tell me." He chuckled and stuck his chin on top of my head. I rolled my eyes and continued to stare ahead, until I heard Aragorn clear his throat. He has a bad habit of doing that. "Yes?"

"I think it would be best if we didn't just stand for the corsair's to see us, considering we're not suppose to be on these ships, remember?" So he had a god reason to interrupt this time, we followed him into the middle of the deck and sat down, not much better if you ask me, but, oh well. "Wait until I've given the signal to move, alright?' we nodded, and he crawled over and laid down beside the rail, always the strange one that man. We sat in silence for about twenty minutes until I head some weird raspy voice yelling at us about being late.

"Late as usual! Pirate scum! There's knife work here that need doing! Come on, you sea-rats. Get off your ships!" I could practically hear the spit hitting the ground.

'Miss, what are we doing?" I almost had a heart attack. I turned to find Earl looking at me apologetically, I shook my head and motioned for him toe be quite, he nodded before sitting down beside me. I hate getting scared like that, I heard Legolas cover a laugh with a cough, so I hit him.

"Now" Aragorn jumped over the ship, Gimli followed after him, then we all joined him.

"There are plenty for all of us, may the best dwarf win." I started to protest until I was cut off by my mouth being covered by someone else's. People just can't give me a heads up.

"_Amin mela lle."_ (I love you) Legolas kissed me on the cheek before running off.Flouncing elf.

'HEY! WAIT FOR ME!" I was about to run until I felt something ghostly float through my body, I started screaming obscenities at the dead army who continued to run fly through, not one of them listened. "Stupid dead people." I ran off after them and ended up running into Jack. "Well, how are you doing?" He was in the middle of fighting some really ugly orc, he gave it one finally stab before turning to me.

"Just peachy," He caught himself, and gave a disgruntled grunt. "Just great, and your self."

"Fantastic." I smiled before waltzing off and leaving him with Will, who was locked in battle trying to protect Elizabeth who was sitting and staring at the the orc in shock. "What's your problem dear? Don't tell me you've never seen an orc before?" She nodded and continued to stare. "My, you have been sheltered have you not?" She glared and whipped her sword out, I smirked and continued to walk through all the battling, until I ran into the one man I had hoped not to see for quite some time. "Oh, it's you."

"You and miss Swann made a fool of me hospitality, it won't be happening again." Barbossa grinned his nasty brown smile and grabbed my arm. I jerked as hard as a I could but nothing happened, he continued to smile, so smiled back, and kicked him where it hurts. I bowed and started to run off, still dodging oncoming orcs, I could hear Barbossa's men chasing after me, cutting down orcs that got in there way, I knew they would be good for something.

"ESME! Where are you going?" I turned and waved at Legolas and the orc he had been battling, they stopped when I ran right in between them being chased by pirates.

"Good day!" I continued to run and finally pulled my sword when I was a few yards in front of them. Thats when all the orcs started to attack me. "Oh bugger."

"You're not getting away this time poppet!" Great, he sent the bumbling fools after me. I turned and smiled at them both, they stared at me warily.

"What do you want?" I smiled, and stabbed an orc that had been coming from the side.

"Only you're blood." He smiled, I swear I just saw something crawling in between his teeth, the mere thought of it made me shiver.

'What for? You can have Elizabeth's, or even better, master Turners." They stopped.

"You know Bootstrap Bill's son?"

"Of course, don't you?" I smiled and then Jack ran by and smacked his hand on my face and continued to run.

"They don't know who he is yet, and we'd like to keep that way, savvy?" I nodded and he finally released my face. I bent over the breathe, and ended up stabbing some orc behind me, I really got to stop doing that. "Wonderful." He ran off screaming in the other direction, I turned to see what had scarred him ,and it was some monstrous beast, with a trunk. I really didn't need anymore weird creatures at the moment.

"Oh bother." I jerked some orc's sword out of his hand, he turned and glared at me, so I stabbed him. I stood still and watched the weird monster running towards me, all the Rohirrim and their little horse were running away, I rolled my eyes, and stuck my swords out with my arms outstretched and waited for them to make contact with the thing's thick legs, when it did it almost tore my arms out of socket. I heard the thing wailing and I walked out form under it as it fell. I felt all important for killing it, until I saw there were about twenty more.

"That only counts as one, says the dwarf." I whirled around with my sword pointing at the person's chest, they caught my with theres, it was only Legolas.

"How would you know, I say at least four or three and a half." I smiled before running and giving him a kiss, sure we were in the middle of a battle, but I had a favor to return. "_Amin mela lle __ner_." ( I love you more) I laughed at him rolling his eyes before running off to join the fray, again.

"We've got you now poppet." I rolled my eyes and turned to find Ravioli and Pinto on my heels again.

'Honestly, you to need to find yourselves a girl, thats not taken. Savvy?"Hey blanched and looked at each other, well that would explain things. "Are you two gay?"

"Hell no!" shouted Ravioli scowling at me before running at me with his sword drawn, I eeped and turned and fled, running right by were some women was fighting something in a cloak, I stopped and Ravioli ended up blowing right into me knocking me over.

'GET OFF!" I heard the sound of the fighting beside us stop, so as soon as the fat one got off of me I smiled at the black cloaked thing, who in return swung his mace at me, I dodged it, but Ravioli didn't move fast enough. I started laughing, until I realized, he couldn't die. 'Damn." Then I noticed just who the girl was, Eowyn I smiled at her before turning to the cloak figure. "Carry on."I bowed before running away, I could hear Eowyn yelling at me to help her. I just acted like I didn't hear her.

"Esme, help Legolas!" I turned to see Aragorn pointing at another one of those huge trunked animals, and saw a little speck crawling up the side I suppose that was Legolas. He's always like that, on some ego trip. One I'm happy to break. I nodded and ran forward pulling a sword out of one of the dead soldiers hands and mine own and ran underneath the creature slicing it's legs. I heard the thing fall and turned to see Legolas sliding down it's trunk to land right in front of me and Gimli in some fancy little hero pose.

"Bravo, Super Dork." I said crossing my arms, he cocked his eyebrow at me.

"That still only counts as one." Gimli grumbled, keeping true to his word. I heard Aragorn walk up beside us hissing through his teeth I followed his line of sight and saw the dead army tearing down another one of those creatures. Ouch is right.

"Release us." Gah, even they do it. The Dead King stood in front of Aragorn, while we were surrounded by the army.

"I wonder, how can you kill something, if we can't even tough you?" I asked tapping my chin, Legolas smacked his hand over my mouth, yet again, and smiled. I glared.

"Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact they're dead. "Gimli said smirking at Aragorn while leaning against his axe, I had half a mind of kicking it out form under him, but Legolas had me wrapped in a vice grip and couldn't move.

"You gave us your word " Never get on those ting's bad side, that my philosophy, that king for instance, looks like he wouldn't mind running us all through with his transparent sword.

"I hold your oath fulfilled. Go. Be at peace. " The King and his army just kinda, vanished, it was really creepy.

"Excellent decision."

"AHH!" I jumped and landed in Legolas' arms, so I wasn't suspecting Gandalf to pop out of the middle of some decrepit old battle field. I could hear Pippin giggling at me. I jumped down and straightened my tunic. 'Don't do that."

"My apologies." I snorted while Gandalf smiled at me. "To Minas Tirth if you please."

"Hope you weren't thinking of going anywhere with out us were you?" I whirled around too see Edward smirking, and all of my crew, Jack, Morgan, Will and Elizabeth included. I smiled and threw myself on Edward, and then continued to hug Jack and Will. I was actually planning on hugging everyone of my crew, until Gandalf pulled me away by the ear telling my not to be stupid.

"We're the Seven Drunken pirates.."

"EDWARD!!!!!!!!!!!"

**Author's Note:** Well, what say you? Review or feel my wrath!

MWUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ahem, excuse me, it;s the deliriousness getting to me, you know what will make me feel mucho better.


	30. Chapter 30

Esmeralda, th Ear'Quessir.

**Author's Review**: Back to back updates! You should feel honored. Just joshing, anyway, enjoy.

**Reviews:**

**Readerfreak10: **Thats what she said! Sorry, just had to throw that out there, it was national 'That's what she said" day today, and I've been saying it all day, now it's just habit.

**emerald lady: **Rad.

**Hikitsulover-818: **No worries, I know how that feels. That happened to my laptop two weeks ago when I had a major paper due, and I obviously couldn't get it off the computer, so I was screwed. And now I don't have a laptop, boo-hoo.

Chapter 30: The Last Debate. How lame.

"Esme. Esme. Esme! At least keep you eyes open so you look somewhat awake!" I squirmed away from Legolas' finger that was digging into my side to keep me awake. It's not my fault I haven't slept in a while and that Gandalf is not a great public speaker. I mean honestly, he even makes the end of the world sound boring.

"Frodo has passed beyond my sight. The darkness is deepening." Gandalf glared over in our direction before shaking his head and choosing to ignore us. Best decision he's made all night.

"If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it. "Aragorn placing his forehead in his hand.

"No shit Galadriel." I piped up before hiding behind Legolas to make it look like he said, it didn't work, Aragorn threw something at my head instead.

"It's only a matter of time. He has suffered a defeat, yes, but, behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping." Gandalf shook his head and continued to look straight at Aragorn and no one else, maybe it's because he really wanted to laugh, but is choosing not to?

"Let him stay there. Let him rot! Why should we care? " I cheered with Gimli before Aragorn's glare shot me down.

"I think it would be best if we didn't actually, and I don't now anything about this Frodo character." Legolas practically knocked me over jerking his bow out and whirling to aim it Edward, Charlotte, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth: Jack held his hands above his head acting like nothing was wrong with him just walking into a very private meeting. I think Legolas should just let go, but he didn't. "Hold on mate, I'm on your side."

'Who are you?" Gandalf stood up trying to look all high and mighty, I bet if I poked him he'd deflate. Oops, Legolas caught on to what I was trying and pulled me back down, he know has me in a very tight hug, not to show his love I mean.

"Captain Jack Sparrow, I really didn't mean to interrupt your top secret meeting of friends but, Esme, we've got a bit of a problem." He smiled and jerked his head over tot eh door? I squinted my eyes, he kept jerking his head.

"What? Is there a draft or something?"

"THE PIRATES! DID YOU FORGET ABOUT BARBOSSA!" Elizabeth shouted pulling away from Will and running to put her face closer to mine, I pulled an face and jerked back from her.

"Sorry, love."I smiled and continued to hold my face away from hers, Will finally came and caught his brod, I was scared I might have a cramp in there for a while. "I haven't forgotten, there's only been a minor set back."'

"OH and what's that? You're own problems?" She snarled trying to break free again, I ran behind Aragorn who looked as confused as Legolas usually is. Speaking of which, he was primping his nails in a corner minding his own business, I suppose he was trying to contain him self from jumping up and bragging that he knows whats going on.

'Now look here little missy, I didn't get you into that problem, only helped you out of it, you deal with it." I smiled and continued to hide behind the ranger who was sharing confused looks with Gandalf, man I feel smart for knowing something they don't. Let me revel in my victory for a moment.

"Yes but you were on the ship as well, they want you also."

"Oh contrare my lady, they only want you and de William." I winked at Jack who was glaring intently, the look didn't go well with his facial structure, I'm not going to tell him that though.

"What is that supposed to mean Esme?" Will was the one who was in my face this time, tut tut, they need to learn to back up, I breathed in his face, he moved back very quickly.

"Nothing it means nothing Will, we've just got to find a solution for our problem." Jack urged, giving me a pointed look, which I pointedly decided to ignore.

"They want your blood to end the curse. Opps, did I say to much?" Jack was grinding his teeth so hard I bet even the dwarf could hear it.

"Esme,can I speak with you for a moment?" I nodded. "In private."

"Oh yeah sure." We walked around the corner and the first thing he did was push me into the wall.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TELLING HIM AND OR ANYOTHER PERSON ABOUT HIM??" He was breathing so hard I thought he was going to explode, good thing he didn't.

"Not too?"

"Right, and what did you do?"

"Ignore you?" He snarled before jerking me back into the main room, all the heads swiveled in opposite directions when we came back in. Damn rubber neckers.

"Anyway, back to the point, guess you guys are screwed to say the least." I smiled sweetly before sitting back down by Legolas who had yet to pay any attention to the current predicament.

"That's it. You're not going to help us then?"

"Nope, I did what I set out to do for you all, and you helped me, debt resolved." I smiled her eyes turned black and she lunged at me and scaled over the table. Running now.

"STOP!" I got close lined by an old wizard Do you know how embarrassing that is for an elf? "This is ridiculous! We have more pressing matters than a bunch of unruly pirates chasing two dumb girls!" My mouth just it the floor, rolling up sleeves now. Not going anywhere, Legolas has found a way to keep me from moving, I'm currently tied to a column.

"A thought just crossed my mind." we all turned to Gimli who had been silent.

"So a thought crossed your mind??" I asked turning towards him. 'That must have been a long and lonely journey." Gimli looks like he wants to chop my head off with his ax, remind me to stay away from him when we next fight.

"This is not the time for your childish games Esme." Gandalf whispered, I suppose I should stop.

"Well as I was saying, didn't you say they were cursed pirates?" We all nodded. " Well, why don't we have some one take whatever they need and end the curse?" He actually did have a brain up in all that hair.

'Hey that's not that bad, we could get one of my crew to do it, since they don't know what they all look like. Will, I'll be needing that trinket, and some blood if you will." He looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Why would I give it to you? You'd run off with it." I rolled my eyes, he really was an idiot.

'WRONG! I don't need your little piece of gold, or blood actually. Here's whats gonna happen, I'm going to have..hmm...BART! I'm going to have Bart take the gold and your blood back to the Isle de cursed Aztec gold, end the curse, and we KILL THEM ALL! MWUAHAHAH. Done."

"Will that work?"

"Why not?" Legolas cleared his throat, obviously something was up. I whirled on him "What?"

"Well, what are we to do with the fact that we now have this problem to deal with, and Gandalf had some very important plans." We all turned to Gandalf who looked pointedly at Aragorn, obviously they'd finished the meeting without the rest of us.

"Well? Spit it out Aragorn."

"We're supposed to ride the black gate and draw Sauron's army out, giving Frodo and Sam free passage." He squirmed under or incredulous glares. What a dumb idea. What does he want to do, kill the people we were fighting to keep a live in the first place?

"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms. " Eomer stood, without his ugly helmet hair.

"HOLY MESS WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!" That wasn't me this time. Elizabeth was clutching her heart and leaning against Will, who was trying desperately to stop his shaking. From laughter I mean. I feel pretty good now that it wasn't me that time. Legolas even tried to be smart by saying something about it, I stuck my tongue out at him, and continued to try and untie my bonds. Yes, I was still tied to the column.

"I was here the whole time." Man he gave her the LOOK. I mean the look that says, my your a dumb ass brod, that's why women like you need to stay in the kitchens. She turned to glare at me when I started to chuckle. I can't help it I agree with him, about her anyways.

"Not for ourselves, but we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed upon us -- keep him blind to all else that moves." Aragorn looked at Eomer like he was an idiot, and I bet he feels like one too. So sure I sided with Eomer as well, but, I don't really care, I'm not doing any of the planning so it doesn't matter to me actually.

"A diversion." Legolas popped up and started smiling all around like an idiot.

"Good boy Legolas, you deserve a cookie. Too bad I'm tied up so I can't give you one." I grinned at his glare, and then made kissie faces at him, he just snorted and turned back to Aragorn who was blatantly trying to ignore us.

"Certainty of death, small chance of success. What are we waiting for?" Gimli slammed his tankard onto the table and smiled through his wet beard. What a sloppy thing he is, it kinda grosses me out a little bit.

"Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait. " Gandalf whispered closing his eyes, he hardly has them open now a days, I guess he really is getting old, old fart.

'Is that what you think?" He nodded and looked at me like and idiot, "Is that what you all think?"they nodded their heads as well. "Well, YOU'RE ALL WRONG!" I shouted and laughed when they jumped, Legolas groaned and Aragorn sighed before walking over to me.

"Do me a favor."

'Yes?"

'Do shut up." Well, how rude.

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"Bart darling, you've hear the plan haven't you?" I had Bart cornered in the stables trying to stay quite so we could do this as quickly as possible, we really had no time to waste. I know Barbossa and his mindless zombies would be popping up anytime soon, maybe we can make it to the gate first so that we can use them again. Hey, why not?

"Somewhat. But why did you chose me? Why not Leg-o-las." He waved his hands around like a dork, I just wanted to slap him.

'That's why."

"What is?"

"You annoy me, anyway, here's sir William's blood if you will," I handed Edward the coin covered in blood and smiled at the face Bart made at it. "Suck it up, e a man. And good luck." I patted him on the back and started to walk away.

"That's all you're going to say to me, and I could die?" He looked pissed beyond belief, don't even know why, he could take some pirates I know it. I acted like I was thinking for minute, you know, just to make him feel good.

"Yup. Bye." I turned to go but he grabbed my arm and whirled me back around.

'After all our times together, that's it?"

'Eru, you make it sound like you're going to your funeral. You'll make it through it sheesh, what do you want me to do, admit my undaunted love for you? I think not."

"You don't?" Whoa, stop the press, when did I ever lead him on? Unless he thought when I would hit him I was flirting.

'Um, no. I like someone else, where have you been you dork?" He glared and turned to go , I shook my head and also turned to go, who needs moody angsty emo pirates, not me.

"Fine, I see how it is, go to Legolas then, I care not." He tried to make some brave face as if he didn't care, it didn't work.

"Ok." I waved and continued walking, he was such a drama queen.

'Alright I lied, please tell me you return my feelings?" He was practically crying. I just shook my head and mouthed no. He acted like I had pierced his heart. "All these feelings I've shared with you!!ablskdjfna;ewncasidjf"

"You are the weakest link! Goodbye.." With that I ran away before I had a mental breakdown on my hands. That my friends, is why I never liked Bartholomew, my first mate. Really, I promise you, that's why.

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"You guys, I need a horse." I pouted and looked pointedly at Charlotte and Edward who were on two different horses, they blew me off, so then I worked my charm on Will and Elizabeth, they ignored me as well. "Fine. Be that way."

"Didn't you know, your horse is here." Aragorn pointed to the stables like I should have known thats where she was.

"Thanks for the heads up there buddy, now I have to go and still get her ready. Stupid rangers don't tell people nothing. Wait, whose horse is it really?" I turned to glare at him.

"Yours, I believe you named it, Thin Wheat? Or some crazed name." I didn't even hear the last part, I was already sprinting off to the stables to find Wheat Thins. What an amazing name. I plowed through all the other soldiers mounting their steeds and finally found Wheaty in the very last stall, she was eating wheat. Surprise surprise. She barely even looked up at me while I put all her tack on, she was too busy stuffing her face, I guess she thought this would be the last time she ever got to eat anything. Morbid horsey.

"Are you ready yet?" I yelped and whacked my head on the wall to the stall which made wheat Thins jerk up and smack her head, and then I heard the stupid elf int eh background laughing.

'NO thanks to you Legolas." I grumbled and finished tacking my horse before walking out to join him. Legolas put out his hand as if to help me, which I was gladly going to use until I remembered last time he helped me mount my horse. I backed away and stared at him ,he just raised his eyebrow and stared back. 'You don't have any rope on you, do you?" I controlled the urge to frisk him, I don't know how he would take that, especially in public.

"No. Just get on you horse Esme." Keeping a wary eye on him I walked over to the mounting block, and then got on my horse, and rolled his eyes and just jumped on his horse as pretty as could be. Pansy.

"What kept the two of you, getting a little friendly?" Jack smiled and wiggled his eyebrows pervertedly, so I kicked him a good one in the shin, hard to manage, but I try.

"No, Esme was frightened I would tie her up again." Legolas grumbled ignoring the looks I was giving him. He honestly wasn't upset about that was he? Now seriously thats a little much to get upset about.

'Hey! I had good reason!" I shouted trying to get him to listen to me, he scoffed and kept going. Stupid elves, so temperamental.

"Hush you two, we have a long ride ahead of us and I sure as hell don't' want to deal with the two of you fighting all the way there, understood?" Aragorn stopped his horse in front of mine and Legolas and glared at us until we agreed.

'Yes father." His glare just got darker. "Okay, keep going before you suck the life out of me with that glare you got going on, sheesh." Legolas snorted so I stuck my tongue out at him before smiling as largely as I could, he just started to snicker before riding up after Aragron. I swear I heard him say something about falling in love with an elfling, and I resent that. I thought he loved me, not some little kid. Oops said that out loud. He turned and gave me a very pointed look, guess I was wrong.

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It took us about three hours to finally reach the black gates, by that time, Edward and I had resorted to singing any song that came tom mind, except for his favorite one, I don't think I could have handled it yet. Aragorn, Gandalf, and Jack had all placed pieces of balled up leaves in their ears so they wouldn't hear us, do we just decided to sing louder so that the leaves didn't work. It was amazing, I don't think I've ever seen Aragorn that shade of purple before.

"You ought not to vex him so." Legolas turned back to face me. Wow, he still knows how to talk.

' Yes mommy." He glared, I just stuck my tongue out before riding up to join him. "Cheer up buttercup."

"I am happy." He looked at me funny, before smiling like an idiot, I almost fell off my horse laughing. "See, I'm fine."

'Whatever you do, don't ever do that." I was still trying to catch my breathe.

"What, smile?" He did it again, only this time Aragorn saw it, his mouth hit the floor and his eyes became the size of saucers.

"Who are you, and what have you done with the serious elf I used to know?" Aragorn stopped and allowed us to catch him.

"I ravaged him,body and soul, he no longer exists." I smirked at how blood red Legolas turned. Aragorn started to laugh as well, soon we were all laughing, most of us didn't even know why.

"See, you are worth something Esme." I turned to see Gandalf smirking.

"Oh, wizard got jokes huh? Let me tell you something mister..." I was cut off by Aragorn who turned to halt the riders, guess we'd made it.

"Where are they?" I wheeled around to see Pippin on a little pony behind me, I wonder how long he'd been there.

"The whole time love." Legolas smiled at me confused look, what am I, a book now? "No, it was just something you would ask, I guess." I continued to look at him. "Ok fine, I really guess but, now I just know it ok?" I snorted and look past him at Aragorn, who decided he wanted to ride to the gate, dumb man really. So of course a big group of us decided to follow, including, me, Edward, Charlotte, Jack, Will, Edward, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli ,Eomer, and Pippin. Loverly bunch huh? 

"Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him! " Aragorn shouted waving his little sword around as if that would scare anyone. Apparantly it did something because the gate opened, but only one thing came out.

"Oh yes Eomer, we're going to lose." Jack said turning on the new King of Edoras, said boy raised his eyebrow at him and jerked his head towards the gate as if telling him to wait.

"EWWWW!! Look at that thing! That's is disgusting! Gah, do you know what brushing your teeth is?" I about threw up right then and there, me and Elizabeth, who was clutching her mouth and open and closing her eyes , were both trying to get over the hideousness of the thing that came to greet us. All you could see was his mouth, of brown, gross, disgusting, chompers, surround by dried black lips.. I get shivers just thinking about it, unfortunately when I shouted that out, said thing turned it's head in my direction. "Nice creature?" Aragorn was glaring at me pretty hard.

"My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?" the Mouth said, black spittle fell down his chin as he talked. I believe I'm crying, Legolas is smirking at me, so I took one of his arrows and began to tickle his ears with it, and he can't really move to get away from me, I feel so much better now.

"We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed. Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return. " Gandalf sat all high and mighty on his horse, but I saw him deflate when the mouth turned to him, even ugly things scare the mightiest of men.

"Ahah. Old Greybeard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee." He searched around his little pack on his horse, did I mention that was just as ugly, before he found what he wanted. It was Frodo's mithril shirt. I saw Pippin squirm on his horse.

"Frodo!"

'Shut up." I glared at him, he just continued to glare at the Mouth of Sauron, said creature started to laugh, it was actually even more disgusting seeing him laugh.

"Oh now you want to stay mum on things?" Jack whispered furiously, one glare by Aragorn shut him up though. I stuck my tongue out at him. The mouth chose that moment to lob Frodo's shirt at Gandalf, too bad he missed and it hit me, and all most knocked me off y horse. You try being hit by metal and see if you don't almost fall?

"Frodo!" Pippin continued to whisper his name, I slapped me hand over his mouth and smiled At Gandalf who was glaring so hard he could have melted us both right then and there. Good things looks can't kill, or I'd be dead ten times over.

"Silence." what does it look like I'm trying to do?

"NO!" Mere shouted from Pippin's left, I couldn't reach that little munchkin.

"SILENCE!" Gandalf roared at the two of them, they finally stopped. The Mouth of Sauron continued to laugh, yuck.

"The halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who would've thought one so small could endure so much pain?" Gandalf handed Pippin the shirt, the poor hobbit was silently crying over it now. "And he did, Gandalf. He did. Ahah. " Aragorn chose that moment to ride forward. I was going to put Gandalf motioned for me to stop. For once I listened.

"And who is this? Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade." The Mouth of Sauron leered at Aragorn for a few minutes, before Aragorn chopped his head off. Well, that was a shocker.

" Well that's the way to end things." I smiled at Aragorn who just rolled his eyes.

"I guess that concludes negotiations. " Gimli grunted from behind Legolas. A little late isn't he?

"I do not believe it. I will not." Aragorn signaled for us to return back tot he ranks, right as the gate started to open. "FALL BACK!" We sure did, there were thousands of orcs swarming out of the gates, they really looked like ants there were so many of them. They could cover the world ten times over. Aragorn rides in front us of us as the orcs continued to swarm out, I saw Merry take a step back, loser.

"Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth. I bid you stand, Men of the West! " Aragorn really could be motivational, when he wanted to. I pretended to wipe a tear, Legolas smacked me in the arm. Around us, everyone was pulling out there weapons, so I did it as well, I think I cut off a lock of Elizabeth's hair, on accident, oh well, who cares.

"Never thought I'd die fighting side-by-side with an elf. " Both Legolas and I turned to look at the dwarf, how random was that.

"What about side-by-side with a friend? " Legolas replied, smiling, I think my mouth just hit the ground.

"Aye, I could do that." That's it, I slung my arms around the idiots and began to cry.

'YOU GUYS! Look! You made me cry! You stupid saps!"Gimli laughed and Legolas just smiled at me before kissing me.

'Esme, now really, is this really the best time to be doing that?" I whirled around to see Morgan smirking at me, where did he come from? "I've been here the whole time hunny." I just smiled at him ,before getting back onto my horse, yes, without a mounting block.

"Aragorn. Elessar. " I turned to look at Aragorn who was mesmerized by the eye that was calling to him, not something we needed.

"Hey fag face!' He didn't move so I threw a pebble at him ,he jerked back to look at me with his eyebrow raised, I shrugged my shoulders and acted like I hadn't seen anything.

"For Frodo. " Aragorn smiles at me and Legolas before turning and running at the orcs, who now completely encircled us. Yeah, we're screwed. I smiled and began to run after him only to have Legolas pull me back. I glared at him.

"_Amin mela lle" _(I love you.) I stared at him, that's why he kept me back like that, he really needed tog et his priorities straight.

"_Amin mela lle ner." _ (I love you more.) I winked at him and then turned to run after the ranger who was battling by himself. Unfortunately, I got held back, again. "What is it now Legolas?"

"Ello poppet." Damn those undying pirates. I smiled and patted him on his head before ducking the sword of an oncoming orc, it hit his shoulder and he let me go.

"Bye bye!" I ran off in the opposite direction right by were Elizabeth and Will were fighting side by side, I grabbed Elizabeth and continued to run.

'Where are you taking her/me!" the two of them started yelling, I just continued to drag her away with me. "I demand you let me go!' She started struggling and I stopped to let go of her.

"Fine, enjoy your life with pirates." I bowed and began to run away but she followed soon after me.

"OK, what do we do?"

" Well, I'm not sure." I stopped to take a swipe at an on coming orc, cleaving three of them a time, you know, if I had really tried to do that, I wouldn't have been able too. "just run until we think of something. We have to give Bart some time to get there before we can actually kill them you know?' Just then Jack ran by being chased by Barbossa, Elizabeth and I shared looks before running after them. Until I got closed lined by Aragorn.

"What are you doing Esme?" He looked pissed beyond belief.

'Trying to rid the world of pesky pirates, and you?" I smiled his glare became even darker.

"Trying to save the world, why are you not standing and fighting?" Just then Jack ran by again, Aragorn followed his line of travel before turning back to me. "Answer?"

"Because lad, she's embracing the most noble of pirate traditions." Jack popped up in the middle of us, followed closely by Barbossa, I held the flat side of my sword out and hit him in the head. Unfortunately, an unlucky orc didn't get the same side, he ran right into the sharp side, I winced.

"I am not, and see I am fighting, so there!" I smiled, patted Aragorn on the back and chased after Elizabeth who was trying to return to Will. 'Whoa little missy, you can't go back, they might try to run off wih Will if you keep screaming his name like that, seeing as he's the one with the medallion and all." She made a face of understanding and ducked, unfortunately I didn't and I got hit in the head by a piece of wood. I whirled around to see Morgan waving at me timidly. I snarled was about to lunge at him, but ended up taking down an orc instead, he chose that time to get away. "You ARE SO DEAD!" I was preparing to run after him but Elizabeth pointed to the pirates coming our way, " Time to go."

"Esme, Elizabeth, get on the horses!" Legolas shouted, still shooting arrows. What horses is he talking about? We got off of them quite some time ago. Then I saw the little rascals sitting in the middle of the battle, not even moving, in front was WheatThins, trying to eat some dirt. That's all she does, eat.

"Ok let's go." We ran over to the horse, dodging little arrows and swords and were about to mount when we were caught by Barbossa himself, Jack was a few feet back trying to catch his breath.

"Hi, can we help you" I smiled and tried to tug my arm away, he just tightened his grip.

"Ye have something, I'll be wanting back." Barbossa smiled at us, Elizabeth was squirming to get away.

"What would that be sirr?"

"The medallion, if you please?" He smiled and stuck his hand in our faces. I smiled and took a step back, but I ran into one of his lackies.

"Well you, see, there's a bit of a problem with that," I looked at Elizabeth pointedly and then jerked my head towards the back, she nodded and we began to back up very slowly, 'We don't have it. And I would love to sit around listen to you yelling but, it's time to go!" We ran off just as Jack popped up in front of Barbossa, the effect stunned Barbossa men and that gave us a few seconds head start. 'AHAHA Beat that mother licker!" I blanched.

"What?" Elizabeth was staring at me with wildly eyes, I just calmly turned to her and shook m head.

'Next time I ever say that, punch me as hard as you can."

"What? Beat. That. Or Mother Licker?" I rolled my eyes, what an idiot.

"The last one." I heard a growl and leaped out of the way of a charging orc just in time, he unfortunately met his demise at the hands of master William Turner, did I mention I have no idea where he came from? Oh great, now there locked in a game of tonsil hockey, and I have the pleasure of front row seats. "ANY DAY NOW!" They jerked apart and blushed while I glared at them.

"Where are you taking her?" Will got right in my face, he really needed a shower.

"Trying to get away from the baddies young master, oh, watch to your left." I stabbed an orc that was heading right for him, I successfully made Will jump, score one for the Pirate.

"You will protect Elizabeth." He growled at me, his breathe even worse. Wait, why do I have to? Don't I need it as well? I could hear Elizabeth protesting in th back.

"Well excuse me, I suppose I'm too manly to need help you old fart?" I snarled and walked by him, "I will protect myself and she will protect herself, plus who else can I protect if I can hardly protect myself?" At that time an arrow from Legolas, who was running by, embedded itself in the forehead of an orc that was about to stab me in the back. I smirked, point proven.

"Then I am coming with you."

"NO!" We all turned to see Jack and Barbossa battling away beside us, we watch them for a few minutes before turning back to the matter at hand.

'Like Jack said, no need. Good bye!" I turned and sprinted off again, I could hear Elizabeth start after me, at least he wasn't following us. Unfortunately, I ran into some hairy smelly arm and fell, tripping Elizabeth as well. I opened my eyes to see the ugliest orc I'd ever seen, he was pink, he had a missing an eye, and a brain on his shoulder, I had an urge to poke it but I felt Elizabeth grab my arm.

"What do we have here?" The thing grunted to it's surrounding comrades, the smell was horrifying, I was stuck between placing my hand over my nose and poking the things brain to see if he would twitch.

"Wow, you can form complete sentences?" I whirled on Elizabeth, who knew she had that in her? The thing glared at her, but it really didn't have the right effect, considering he was missing an eye and all.

'You'll pay for that comment missy." He reached forward, I noticed he was missing fingers, I made a face and he caught it. "Is there something you would like to say as well?"

'Oh no, no no, not at all." I smiled, I could still feel my eye twitching. The next thing we knew the creatures head was I my lap. I screamed so loud I think I made myself go deaf. I flung the thing off of me and it ended up hitting Elizabeth who in turn screamed, then we screamed together and ran off. I swear I saw Aragorn laughing behind the ugly pink thing, but I can't be sure.

"ESME!" I looked to where the person called me, but instead of seeing a person, I saw Aragorn locked in battle with a very big troll. Did I mention his sword was quite large as well...ok the one he can hurt people with. That's sharp. I'm just going to stop now. I turned to run to him but was caught by Elizabeth who was shaking.

'No, wait." At that moment, the troll decided to sling Aragorn halfway across the field.

"'Till When? He dies?" I jerked my hand and started running to where the troll was headed to finish him off, I could see a platinum blond figure doing the same across the way. Figures. I had almost reached Aragorn when the troll growled and backed away for a minute, guess Aragorn's still alive. The troll started to look around, and then turned and high tailed it off of the battlefield. Aragorn must have really hurt the things feelings. I reached Aragorn before Legolas did and pulled him into a fierce bear hug. "Don't ever, do that again." I heard him chuckle before returning the hug for a second. We pulled apart to see Legolas finally reach us.

"Took you long enough."Aragorn teased Legolas rolled his eyes before clasping his shoulders. They're a pair of losers the two of them.

"Oh shit, you guys!" the two of them looked at me funnily but followed where I pointed. The tower that held the Eye was falling. Aragorn stood in shocked silence watching the destruction of the tower, the eye actually deflated before it even hit the ground. The impact caused by the fall of the tower sent a shock wave through Sauron's army, and the ground started to fall out from under them, thousands of the orcs started to fall into the holes. Jack ran by, still fighting Barbossa, he lunged and stabbed him int eh heart, Barbossa begins to laugh.

"You can't kill me Jack. You waster your chance." Barbossa continued to laugh in Jack's face.

" H didn't waste." We all turned to see Bart holding his knees and trying to catch his breathe. I turned back to Barbossa and Jack, the latter winked at me. He knew all a long, the old fart. I felt Bart walk up very close to me. I knew I would regret him living.

"Did you miss me?" I turned to see him smiling rather large, like he'd won something. I could see Legolas tensing up behind him, testosterone is a bad thing.

"Decidedly not." I walked around him and hugged Legolas, 'I was too busy running for my life to think about you, sorry." Bart deflated a few notches, Elizabeth was coughing trying to hide her amusement but it really wasn't working.

"Look." I turned to Jack who was standing on top of Barbossa, guess it's man thing, and pointing toward Mount Doom, which no longer existed.

'Frodo!" I shouted, the same time Pippin did, I shook my fist at him, he stared at me funny. Just then Gandalf pushed through me, knocking me into Legolas and knocking us down, and ran over to some giant bird that allowed him to get on him. "Where's he going?"

'Do you mind moving, or would you rather stay like this?" I looked at Legolas who was raising his eyebrows, I smirked and sat up and crossed my legs right one his chest.

"I think I'll stay actually." I didn't see him smile at Aragorn, shame really. He stood up very quickly, and I came face first with Mordor dirt. Fantastic taste I must say. "Nancing elf."

"But you love me?" He smirked and winked at me. I rolled my eyes. "I take that as a yes?" He hugged me but I continued to ignore him.

"Are we supposed to stay here?" I jumped into Legolas' arms, and looked wildly around for the culprit, and couldn't find him until Legolas told me to look down. It was only Gimli.

"I don't know, ask Aragorn?"

'Let's return to the city, and await Gandalf. We all nodded and started to walk off, except Jack, Will and Elizabeth, I fell back to walk with them.

"What are you going to do now?" I leaned my head against Jack's, Will shook his head and grabbed Elizabeth;s hand.

"I plan on returning to Port Royal, and marrying Commadore, as I promised." I stopped moving, and Will ran into me.

'You're doing what? I thought you and Will, would, for sure, the two of you, but, I"M CONFUSED!" Elizabeth smiled for a minute before looking to Will, who was determined not to make eye contact with her. '"When did that happen?" No answer."Well then, what about you Will? And Jack you're returning to you ship I assume?" Jack nodded, Will just shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, a right bunch of winners you are. Ok,. Just come back to the city with us, and then you can leave? One last celebration?" I smiled at them all, they all shrugged except for Jack.

"Will there be rum?"

"I'm su-"

"I'm sorry to say that you will not have the chance of attending said celebrations to find out Captain Jack Sparrow, you're under arrest."

"Just where the hell did you come from?" I got into Norrington's face. "He helped save the world for you, and you're going to lock him up?" Norrington smiled.

"Exactly." I punched him.

'Run."

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"What is wrong with you? We're waiting for Frodo to wake up, and all you and Jack have been doing is pacing? Sit down for a minute." Legolas grabbed my waist and pulled me on to the bench beside him, I was there maybe two seconds before jumping back up. "Ok that's it, STOP PACING AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!" We all turned to stare at him, that's the loudest I'd ever heard him.

"Well, Norrington's here to arrest Jack, and we don't want him to be arrested. You can help him! You're royalty!" Elizabeth shouted and ran over and grabbed his hands, Legolas raised his eyebrow at her, she quickly dropped them. I rolled my eyes at him, always being stupid.

"Not with that, I have no authority over Port Royal, I'm sorry." He looked really sincere, but apparently she didn't think he was because she started shouting at him, he cove3red his ears and ended up backing himself into a wall. I suppose I should help him, nah.

"Frodo!" We all turned to were we heard laughter, and Merry and Pippin being stupid, we didn't stand still long.

"Gimli!" The squat dwarf let out a bark of laughter and smiled at Frodo, Legolas and I followed, I made a face at Frodo and he laughed. 'Aragorn!" his smile got even bigger if that's possible. The hobbits continued to jump around him and laugh, but his face became the true sight of joy when Sam walked into the room. I'm going to try and contain myself from commenting on their sexual preferences.

'Sorry to interrupt such a touching moment but, scuse me, scuse me," I looked over my shoulder, and Legolas who I was currently leaning upon, to see Jack pushing through to reach us.

'Aragorn, who is that?"

'Captain Jack Sparrow, at your service. As I was saying, sorry to get in the way of this toughing reunion and all, but we've still got the problem of me being arrested, Norrington just knocked on the door and has been let in." he smiled strangely at me and Legolas as if asking help I was about to reply when Aragorn cut me off.

'What are the reasons you are to be arrested?" Jack smiled and kept his mouth shut, that much aye? "Well, if you will say nothing, then I do not think that we can help you."

"You wouldn't be able to anyways." At the door Commadore stood with shackles, "Mister Sparrow if you please." Jack looked to me once more, I winked and looked at Will, Jack walked forward slowly, as if going to his death, which is what it would probably be.

"Commadore, please!" Elizabeth ran forward and put her hand on his arm. "For me?"

"I wish I could, but I'm under jurisdiction. It is my duty." He turned and his heel and frog marched Jack out of the room, Elizabeth followed quickly after him.

"Well, that was weird." Frodo remained on his bed looking confused, he had a while before he would be filled in.

"Will, a moment of your time, if you don't mind? And you Legolas, and Elizabeth if we can catch her." They nodded and followed me out, Aragorn began to as well, but I shook my head at him, he really had nothing to get in trouble for, and that's exactly what would happen to the three of us.

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"GAH! This corset hurts! It's been so long, since I've worn a dress it doesn't feel right!" I complained to the women tying my cursed corset, she was using her foot to get it tight enough, I suppose she wanted to make it look like I had boobs, never gonna happen. "CAN'T BREATHE!!"

'That's how it's supposed to be, especially if you want to look , bustier, for master Legolas." the woman winked at me, and turned to leave. I could feel my face blushing but took that moment to tear the damned thing off and throw my gown on without it, she can't really tell, I still didn't look 'bustier' even with the torture device on. Meaning the corset of course. The gown was actually a pretty one, turquoise like the ocean, my favorite colors. "Why, that dress brings out your eyes miss!" I knew that was coming.

"What time are we supposed to be there?" I smacked the woman's hand away from my hair, there is no way she was going to get a hold of that, I did my normal braid to the side and slipped my black shoes on before walking to the door.

'You must wait for your escort of course." Not this again, I glared at her and started to pull the handle, only it felt like someone was pulling it the other way, I started to shake it, and it broke off, affectively knocking me over. Will pulled the door open looking sheepishly at me on the ground. Good thing I was already ready. I glared at him before sticking my hand out at him.

"You could at least help me up, you're the reason I'm here. Are you my escort then?"

"Yes, why do you not want me to be?" I suppose I must have frumped a bit, I thought Legolas would be.

"Of course not, let's go.' I grinned broadly and grabbed his arm, he rolled his eyes at me before starting out. "I'll race you there."

'Is that really the right thing to do?" He shook his head laughing at my antics.

'Yeah, I do it all the time!" I stuck my tongue out and started off down the hall, not looking where I was going. Let me tell you something, never run at break neck speeds down the hallway, not looking, good things never come of it. For me, I didn't' hear Will yelling, or the door open, successfully resulting in me smacking into someone's rock hard stomach, say ouch with me.

'You know, the last time this happened, we didn't like each other for quite some time afterward. I believe it was because you insulted my home land's name." I looked down to see Legolas smirking with his eyebrow raised, I placed my hand on it to stop it from moving. He was wearing a black tunic and leggings with his fancy little crown thingy on, he looked pretty amazing if I do say so myself, but I won't boost his ego anymore than it already is actually. I stood and gave him my hand to help him up, when he stood he kissed me before grabbing my hand. "You look amazing by the way.

"Well, last time I that happened, I was rewarded with an insult, not a kiss. And I still think Mirkwood is a weird name. No offense." He smiled and looked at Will. I'm sorely tempted to ask whether I look busty or not, that would be a little strange for him to answer, I'll wait until later.

"You're her escort I presume.' Will nodded. 'Well, I will take this burdensome task from you, what say you?" Will nodded and walked away laughing, I suppose at the expression I had plastered across my face. How dare he call me burdensome. "You know I don't mean it silly." he kissed my temple before starting to walk.

'Good, I might have had to hurt you if you had." I could practically hear him roll his eyes at me, yes, it was that obvious. It's actually a good thing that he was here, otherwise I might have gotten lost or something. Usual for me. When we reached the Citadel where Aragorn's coronation was to be held, there was not a spot that a person wasn't standing. Legolas whispered that it smelled greatly of human body odor, I reminded him that there were mostly humans here.

"You remember what I must do?'

"Yes, and you I?" Er that sounded weird, he smiled and nodded before kissing me and then walking over to the very end of the Citadel, I sighed and looked around to find Will. "You ready to save Jack?" Norrington decided to have the trial of Jack Sparrow after Aragorn finally became king, what a morbid reception eh?

"As ready as ever, but there is one thing I must do before then." I followed his eyesight to see Elizabeth standing beside her father and Norrington, I smiled and started to laugh.

'Good for you Will." I wiggled my hand into his and smiled at him. Things would work I could just feel it, or that could be my concealed sword poking into my thigh. Didn't mention that did I?

"Now come the days of the king. May they be blessed." Gandalf placed a winged crown atop Aragorn's now clean hair. Yes I know, stop the press, clean? It's a miracle, I bet Legolas it wouldn't last very long, but we'll see. Aragorn climbed the steps behind Gandalf, took a deep breathe and looked out over the crowed, I caught his eye and winked at him, he smiled like a goober before taking another deep breathe.

"This day does not belong to one man, but to all. Let us together rebuild this world, that we may share in the days of peace." The crowd continued to cheer. "_Et Earello Endorenna utulien. Sinome maruvan are Hildinyar tenn Ambar-metta._ " (Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I am come. In this place will I abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the word.) I smiled as he walked towards Legolas who was smirking like he was keeping a very deep secret, and he was. Well, from Aragorn anyways. They hugged each other for what seems like a million years." _Hannon lle_." (Thank you). Legolas smile got even bigger before he took as step allowing Elrond to step forward. He turned to whisper to the elf beside him, both mine and Legolas' smiles got even bigger, I was practically grinning like a fool. The elf walked forward with the banner and handed it to Aragorn, who finally caught sight of who it was. Arwen. She lowered her eyes from him, but Aragorn grabbed her chin and made her look him in the eye. Then he pounced on her, Eru, take about built of sexual tension, I shared a look with will before starting to laugh. He really was a goober. By that time he had finally reached Frodo and the hobbits who all bowed down.

"My friends! You bow to no one." Aragorn pulled them up, and bowed to them, we all followed suit. I bet the hobbits were acting all boastful and stupid while they were at it.

"Well, it's now or never." Will whispered, giving my hand a squeeze before heading to where the gallows where being held, I motioned my head to Legolas and turned to follow him, too bad things don't go as planned.

'Esme, thank you for all your help, I think things would have been much darker if you were not there.' Aragorn wrapped me in a bone crushing hug, I guess I made a face because Arwen giggled before turning her head.

"See, I told you I was good for nothing but laughs." I smiled and patted him on the back, the big baby.

"Yes, well, I suppose you want to get to the gallows before they, you know, to Jack." He lowered the corners of his mouth, and shrugged. 'I only wish there was something I could do to help, but there isn't."

"No worries Aragorn, I know you would try if you could." I turned to follow in the footsteps of Will, I only hope we're not to late.

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"Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have... " I could see him grumbling about not being addressed as Captain, I continued to scourge the crowd for Will, and finally found his feathered self, at the very back, as close to Elizabeth as he could get."...for your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith - piracy, smuggling..." this should be a long list.

"Will!' He practically jumped out of his skin. "Got you. Anyways, what's the plan then?"

'When I see Cotton's parrot, I'm going to go tell Elizabeth I love her, and then I'm going to save Jack." I nodded before turning to look at where Elizabeth was standing with her fiancée and father. I still can't believe she's going to marry him.

"Well, what do I do?"

"You are going to wait behind that column over there, until you hear us, coming towards you, you're going to pop out, and help us get to the cliff, where he can get away.

"So what am I good for?" He rolled his eyes.

'You're going to fight the soldiers that come from that direction savvy?' I nodded and headed towards my hiding point, right as Will walked over to Elizabeth, show time.

"...sailing under false colors, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness. And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul." Who knew Jack was that much of a villain.

"Governor Swann. Commodore. Elizabeth. I should have told you every day from the moment I met you. I love you." he walked away, just as the executioner was placing the noose around Jack's neck. I'm just hoping Elizabeth catches on to what else he was doing. Oop, yup she did, she just pretended to faint. Will is pushing through the crowd yelling for everyone to move and then he pulls out his sword, and everyone starts to move. He throws it into the wood just as it was falling, giving Jack a place to catches his feet on, Will is now successfully fighting the executioner, who just fell off the stand, taking out some spectators as well. I wish I has some munchies to watch this with, it's quite entertaining. Shit, they're coming this way, and so are these soldiers. My turn. I whip out my sword and end up knocking one man in the nose.

"She's a woman!" Another shouted, I rolled my eyes and whacked him with the broad side of my sword, Will and Jack are using the rope to take out the other guards, I hit another one in the stomach before kicking him. I took his sword and threw it to Will as he released his rope.

'Watch behind you!" He barely missed getting his head chopped off. We ran to the tower before being cornered by Norrington's lackies, well, it almost worked. The nearest one leered at me, I spat at him , and he began to lunge I brought my sword up and he stopped.

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt but not from you and you. " he looked pointedly at Will and myself I shrugged.

'Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. " I smirked at Governor Swann who blushed. Norrington bristled, I stuck my tongue out at him.

"On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency. And this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate! " Will shrugged and didn't reply.

"You forget your place, Turner."Norrginton stepped closer to us.

"Do you have a place?" I asked while Will made some dumb comment about being in his spot. What is this, assigned standing or something?

"As is mine."

"Oh hello, Elizabeth, nice to see you nice." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Elizabeth! Lower your weapons. For goodness' sake put them down!" Jack and I laughed and pointed and the sentries before a question from Norrginton caught our attention.

"So this is where your hear truly lies is it?"

'It is." Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Will's he just looked at her.

"Awwww...how cute."

"Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this_." _he turned to Governor Swann and got in his face. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually...Ecumenically...Grammatically?" He then turned to Norrington. " I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth...it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will...nice hat. Esme, I'm sure I will see you sometime in the near future." I nodded at him as he walked backwards to the edge. I just know he's going to fall off before he means to. "Friends! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that.." Score, he fell, I'm psychic.

"Idiot. He has nowhere to go but back to the noose. "

"Wrong.' I pointed my finger at the man who said it, he just stared at me.

"What's your plan of action? Sir? "

"Perhaps on the rare occasion pursuing the right course demands an act of piracy, piracy itself can be the right course?" Governor Swann smirked at Norrignton, I almost threw up.

"Oh what are you? The walking Psalms?" I acted like I was throwing up, no one but Will and Elizabeth paid any attention.

"Mr. Turner. " Elizabeth grabbed Will;s arm, like that could have stopped him from going, faggot girl.

"This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life." whoa, did anyone else catch that cheesy metaphor?

'If you don't stop with these cheesy life lessons, I believe I shall die of a cheese overdose." I pointed my finger at my open mouth acting as if I was gagging, Elizabeth just rolled her eyes, I wonder if I smacked her back if they would stay that way.

"Commodore! What about Sparrow?" that annoying man was back, I was about to kick him over the side as well.

"Well, I think we can afford to give him one day's head start. " He left taking his soldiers with him, I stuck my tongue out at his back and waved my hands. We were amazing.

" So, this is the path you've chosen, is it? After all...he is a blacksmith. " Govenor Swan was still pestering Elizabeth about choosing Will, let dogs lie would you.

"No. 'Oh dear, I can feel the cheese already, she removed his hat, it's coming. "He's pirate." Excuse me while I die.

"Ok, that's enough, it's been a pleasure, my friends, good bye. And good luck with your mir-rage." I bowed and backed away, running into who ever was behind me at the time, always a catch to my smooth exits.

'Huh, so this is where you got off to." It was only Edward.

"Yup, what's going on?"

"What are we going to do now, now that it's over?" I shrugged.

"Well, I should hope ,whatever your decision is, that I am included in the planning aye?" I smiled at Legolas, I had actually heard him coming that time. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him before turning back to Edward.

"Who knows Eddie, who knows." I smiled once more at Legolas and grabbed his hand before walking back to the Citadel, there were a few things left to be done.

"Sail away where no ball and chain-"

"EDWARD!"

**Author's Note: **I'm actually thinking of making a sequel, and finishing out the POTC trilogy, but, I want you're opinions first! I hope you enjoyed your feature presentation!


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